破产姐妹 第三季 1215集 2 Broke Girls英中字幕.doc

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1、目 录第12集2第13集13第14集24第15集35第12集- Good evening,ladies.- No.Max,what are you doing?I know this neighborhood is a circus,butour windows becoming a freak show.Max,I dont think that bearded ladyearlier was doing it on purpose.Its more of a menopause thing.He cant afford a cupcake. Hecant even afford two w

2、heels.What can I get you?- Ill take one vanilla.- Thatll be $4.Actually,madam,tonightIll be paying with a poem.Were paying with a poem,madam.I pull. Shadows push.I was a child then.I was a child then.Spit it out.Hey,you want a poem?Roses are red,violetsare blue,get a job!And another wheel!That felt

3、good. I get why you do that.Wait till you get actual fist-to-facecontact. Thats a real high.-=-Sync:YTET- 定风波 -=-Sync:YTET- 定风波 2.Broke.GirlsSeason 03 Episode 12Welcome to the Williamsburg diner,Deke.Whered you hear aboutus? Kitchen nightmares?Okay,Max,lets get to it.We have to decide what were each

4、 gonnamake for our pastry school homework.Or true to form,Ill blow itoff,beat you up,and take yours.Of the top of my gianthead,Im thinking sticky buns.Dekes dark sticky buns.Were talking about dessert,notwhats going on in your pants.Well,I wouldve baked brownies,until Iremembered I smoked all the in

5、gredients.Oh,my God,guess who texted me again.Dame Judi Dench? DameJudes texts me all the time.Shes thirsty.More like,Damn,Judi Drench.Oh,hi,Deke. Didnt know you were here.Youre everywhere.Pastry school,on the phone withMax talking about pastry school,and now here at the counter talking about elders

6、ex with a beloved star of stage and screen.- Youre like.- What?Denzel Washington trappedin Channing Tatums body?I get that a lot.Anyway,Max,this is the fourth time chefNicolas has texted me outside of school.And this time he sent me a video. Look.Then,Caroline,you spoonthe fat from the pan.Its him m

7、aking breakfastwith his shirt open.What do you think it means?That he doesnt have afear of bacon splatters.?- Hes totally flirting with me,right?- Totally. Chef Nicolas is hot for ya.He has to double up on aprons whenyoure around,know what Im sayin?Deke,this is just private bestfriend stuff between

8、girls.You know,that youre not a part of.Can I not be a part of it?And since chef Nicolas is yourteacher and I work at the school,Id appreciate it if we keptthis just between us three.And me. I saw it over your shoulder.Doesnt hold a candle to myseries of pantless meatloaf videos.Meatloaf. Pick up.Ok

9、ay,okay,Max,if you have timeto lean,you have time to clean.And if I have time to give you apunch,we have time to have lunch.Max,should we help him find his mom?Oh,no,now theres two of them.Like gremlins.Now,come on. This is a diner,notstudy hall. Youre working.I call it spiritually dying,but working

10、sa good word for what we do here too.We could figure it outtomorrow night over some drinks.Couple of white winespritzers. Know what Im sayin?That youre a recently-widowedwoman on a girls trip in Boca?Well,I already ate mywater,so Im good to go.I am out the door.Hi,Im Deke. Bye,Max.Oh,hes your friend

11、?For a minute I thought he was that kidI had out of wedlock with Linda Evans.Okay,why are you in here not working?And why are you doing it without me?Look,Ive been textingwith Nicolas. He thirstay.He wants me to meet him for adrink after his dinner tomorrow.After his dinner. Youknow what that means.

12、That he thinks he doesnt have to buy youdinner before he makes you his slam piece?After dinner is a Booty call.Or as they say inFrance,A call du bootay.So I need you to hang out with me,because ifI dont have anything else to do at that time,I wont be able to resist him.I dont see it.Maybe because he

13、 never pulled a knifeon me,but to me hes,like,asexual.Yeah,like a sexual object.Okay,well,I told Deke Id help him withhis homework,so you can hang out with us.Hang out with Deke? I didnteven like the Muppets on TV.But fine,itll. Itll keep mebusy,because Max,when Nicolas looks at me,it does something

14、 to my insides,andI want this to be a relationshipbefore he does something to my insides.If you keep talking about your insides,Imgonna kick you on your outsides.Okay,so as far as mydessert homework goes.He just texted me again.Ou es-tu? Where are you?And he used tu,not vous.Weve gone there.Then why

15、 are you still here?Because I cant gothere,Max,Im not ready.Oh,wax situation?Guys dont care about that.So as far as my dessert goes,I wentall-out and actually did some real research.- You googled desserts with dirty names?- Correcto.And it was harder topick one than I thought.I mean,you got your bun

16、dt cake,yourlady fingers,kumquat pie.Kum and quat.It was right there the wholetime. How could I not see it?So I dug deep,and I have the winner.Croquembouche.I dont know what that is,butshe sounds like a whore.Its a traditional French wedding cake with vanillacream-filled profiteroles dipped in hand-

17、made caramel.Said the only personhere not in pastry school.Oh,cool. I didnt know what it was.Maybe I can help. I happen to knowNicolas loves a pear tarte tatin.Ta-ta-tan!No.I thought Id distract myself by going out withyou guys,but it feels like the day in high schoolI hung out with thesmokers for s

18、treet cred.And I used to hang out with rich geekslike you when I needed lunch money.Im texting Nicolas.What? You said you didnt want him to think youwere up for a wham-bam,thank you,mademoiselle.Youre right,Max. I shouldnt text him.He just texted meagain. Whats one drink?$18.?It is? Yeah,you better

19、text him.We need a grown-upto pay for the drinks.Ill just say Im with friends,andhe can join for a drink.Isnt that what people do? I forget.I havent been a person ordone anything in so long.Or done a person in so long.I wont let it get that far.And by that I mean you wont.Ill give you a signal andth

20、en youll say we have to go.Whats the signal? Full penetration?- No,before that.- So,just the tip?I think Ill just wink.So,croquembouche?I cant pretend to talk.I hope his tongue is wearing protection.Are we making you uncomfortable?No,no,its just that Iusually like to fast-forwardthrough the kissingp

21、arts when I watch porn.Come on,relax,Max. Werejust having some fun.Its just that youre our teacher,andyour spittle is all over her mouth.Were not in class. Doyou see batter or bowls?Well,were hoping not to see any balls.I see the outline of one of em.Just dont think of meas a teacher right now.Well,

22、Im kind of learning a lot.You know,for someone who wasntgonna have sex,shes having sex.Im leaving.I havent felt this awkward since my mom had sexwith my prom date in the limo and made me drive.Your mom sounds cool.Come on,you cantleave. We just got here.Well,shes about to getthere,and I dont wanna s

23、ee it.Well,we can make out.You wanna make out? With me?No,a comedy make-out.You know,like.Well,you make it look so tempting.Come on,itll be hilarious.Let my mouth be yourtongues panic room.And chef Nicolas coulduse a few pointers.Yeah,hes really bad at it.All right,why not? It mighteven get their at

24、tention.On the count of three. One,two.- Did they look?- No,hes busy rounding third.My turn.Max,whats happening?Hes licking your face.Leave them alone.Deke seems to know what hes doing.Respect.Well,hate to comedy makeout and run,but,well,Im already mentally at yummy donuts tryingto binge eat this im

25、age out of my mind.Hold on,Max. The signal.See,this is why I dont do girlfriend.Come on,we have somewhere togo or be,something like that.Well.We have to go. See you later.Au revoir.Sup?Not much. Sup with you?Sorry,I have to get this. Its my wife.Girrrl.Oh,I totally forgot to tell you.Youre terrible

26、at making out.Well,I never had a father to teach me.Hey,big Mary.Hallway lunch. Love that for you.And you.This couldve been your walk of shameright now if I hadnt stepped in,Winky.Yes,last night got a little out of hand.Oh,it was pretty much in your hand.No,it was not,Max.Yes,there might have been a

27、 tasteful graze,justto figure out how European he was down there.Good news,its notwearing a floppy beret.So we are right on track fora perfect fairy-tale romance.Yeah,the princess and the penis.See you at the diner,Max.Au revoir,mes amis.I have to kinda tell you something that you have topromise you

28、 kind of definitely wont tell Caroline.Are you about to tell methat when she speaks Frenchit makes you want to slam your headthrough that plate-glass window too?Well,the thing is hes married.Hes married? How do you know?Hes not wearing a ring,andhe doesnt seem dead inside.- His wife called him after

29、 you guys left.- How could he do that?- Hes French?- And not tell Caroline.- Hes French?- What a jerk.Fronch?Im telling her right now.Wait,wait,wait,Max,do me a favor.?Can you just wait until afterI turn in my croquembouche?Im already on thin icewith au bon pain in my ass.This sucks.Hes married,and

30、Caroline has this weird thing in herhead that she has to marry someone who isnt married.Bonjour,Bebe. Ca va?Oh,boy.Im not really good with any languages.They think its becauseI got hit by three cars.FYI,if you ever get hit,just stay down.Well,guess what.I got you and me salads. Girls lunch.Well,I us

31、ually just have peanutbutter and crackers in the dark.I hear so much about saladIve always wanted to try it.Sure. Sit. Have some salad.You and me,me and you.Getting to know more about each other.So Bebe,tell meeverything about Nicolas.Hes the best. He has theheart and eyes of a dog.- So Nicolas,wher

32、e do you think he is?- He just said he had a lunch date.Date? Did he use the word date, orare you just using the word date?I mean,its not likehes dating anyone.Is he?No,why would he be dating anyone?Exactly,why would he be dating anyone?Yeah,I mean,hes married.Married?You know,salad tastes just like

33、 lettuce.You are not going to believe this.Kendall Jenner is applying to colleges?Come on,Max,no.Nicolas is. and get ready. Married.I kissed a marriedman. Im so mortified.Please dont ever tellanyone I kissed a married man.Okay,I wont tell anyone.- Tell anyone what?- Caroline kissed a married man.But

34、 dont tell anyone.All right,I want to go onthe record that I didnt know.Kissing a married man hasnever been in my life plan.Its not on my visionboard or in my dreamscape.I am not that kind of person.But she is the kind of person who has a vision boardand says dreamscape, so lets judge her on that.I

35、wont judge you,Caroline.I once went out with a married woman.I didnt know she was married untilher spouse came and beat me up.Lesbians are strong.Listen,married,notmarried,dont be so American.You know,in Poland,the weddingvows say,Do you take this woman.And maybe some others?Well,not Polish,and not

36、a lesbian yet.So Im very upset.And,Max,why are you just standing there?Why havent you said anything?I kind of knew.Wait. You kind of knew he was married?You kind of knew anddidnt kind of tell me?- What kind of friend are you?- I just found out myself.Well,then why didnt you tell me?I was going to,bu

37、t then Deke asked menot to until he handed in his homework.And also I thought you might cry.- Oh,and you didnt want to upset me?- Nah,I didnt want to deal with it.Cause when you cry,you dont justcry once. Its like a six-cry thing.Youve got the first shock cry,the silentcry,the ugly cry,the cry becau

38、se youre crying,the cry after you say youre not gonna cry anymore,andthen the final cry,which is probably my fault.Well,youre wrong,Max,Im not gonna cry overthis,because I havent gone far enough down the road.Yes,I was just beginning to think aboutour future,but Im not that invested.- Then whats thi

39、s?- My dupe pad.Thats right. And look whatI found written on the back.Caroline and Nicolas Saintcroix.Mr. and Mrs. Saintcroix.Caroline Saintcroix.Thats just being silly.Every girl does that.Youre 40.- Oh,man,this is heavy.- I know,very heavy.Were back here,and I have to deal with thefact that I was

40、dry-humped by a married man.No,I think he meanthis dessert is heavy.But yeah,you got a lot going on.So what do you want us to do?Should we throw down? Mess his ass up?Kick him in the face?Or just ignore it so I dontget kicked out of school?No,Ill deal with Nicolas later.You sure? Cause Ive alwayswan

41、ted to kill a French person.Again.Thanks,but stay outof it. Ive got this.Im gonna rip him a new one.- Bonjour,Caroline.- Bonjour,Nicolas.That wasnt a rip. Wasnt even a tear.Go,go,you two. Got a big,hot bundt here.Go,go,dont be late.You sure thats a croquembouche?Cause it looks like a coyote poop tre

42、e.Caroline,can you watch the phones for me whileI give chef Nicolas this note from his wife?You know what? Ill give it to him.I havesomething I have to say to him anyway.Oh,for next girls lunch,haveyou ever had sandwiches?Cause Im thinking of trying one.Not you.You have got this. You have got this.Y

43、ou broke up with a Kennedycousin. You can do this.Caroline,do you need something?I just wanted to give you thisphone message you just got.From your wife.From your wife. Juliette.?- I know her name.- Youre married.Yes,you just got a message from my wife.I feel like somethings getting lost inthe trans

44、lation here,so let me be clear.Its over between us.Why?Why? Because youre married.Again,I know that. But why?What. what do you mean why?Why? Because you aremarried. Vous est marie!And note,I did not use tubecause weare back on the more formal vous terms.Look,Caroline,my wife is inFrance,and we have

45、an understanding.Well,Im having a hard timeunderstanding any of this.And whatever arrangement you and Juliettehave,its over between you and me.Here.You are very cute when youre angry.I am?Actually,you are very cuteall the time. Cute and sexy.From the moment I saw you,I wanted to.- Put my lips onto yours.- You did?Yes.Caroline,you are asmart,sexy,delicious woman.And now that Ive