老爸老妈的浪漫史 第七季 第1620集英中字幕.doc

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1、目 录第16集2第17集16第18集31第19集45第20集61第20集75第16集Sorry this is taking so long.He kicked for everybody else.Its hard for the little guyto perform under pressure.Top ten things Marshallsaid on his wedding night.Whoa! It was small,butI think I felt something.Top ten things Lily saidon her wedding night.Stop l

2、aughing at it,Lily.Top ten things Marshallsaid on his wedding night!Can we please talk about somethingother than my wedding night?Absolutely. Lets talk about last night.It was a night like any other.I was just about to get laid.Hey,Barney,I need your help.This hottie Im talking to ismeeting her frie

3、nd at a club,so I need a wingman.Well,just so you know,Id begiving up a sure thing here.- Are you not a sure thing?- Yeah,I am.This friend of yours better beeven hotter and dumber than this one.Wow! You have Enormous PenisSyndrome? Ive never heard of that.Yeah. Thats the problemwith E.P.S. lack of a

4、wareness.Thats why Imorganizing a 10K fun-run.Of course,many of uswill need wheelbarrows.You are so brave.And you are so understanding.Most people just stare at melike Im some kind of freakin reinforced underwear.Poor,baby.I cant imagine what youre goingthrough because I never wear underwear.- Jackp

5、ot!- You want to get out of here?Oh,I dont know. This is allmoving kind of fast. Okay.Oh,but before we go,Ishould mention my condition.Its called: Im Not aGullible Dumbass Disorder.As the former SurgeonGeneral,Ive got to say,I dont think thats the real thing.Okay,just stop. Youhave no chance with me

6、.Were just here asbackups for our friends.- Hey,how did you two meet,anyway?- No,were not doing that first date dancewhere you pretend everythingI say is fascinating,thinking itll somehowget you into my pants.What? Guys dont do that!Goat cheese? Fascinating! Whatelse are you allergic to,huh?You owe

7、me three hoursfor last night,Mosby.Im thinking,laser tagtournament in Newark this weekend.Ted can pass for under 18,right?Its a father-son thing.Marshall,we should get going. Anylater,and well be riding the Drunk Train.Oh. The Drunk Train?Its the last train of the nightback to Long Island. Its a mes

8、s.Just a bunch of drunk,sloppy idiots,fresh off a night ofpartying in the city,just desperate to hook upwith anything that moves.- Yeah.- Bye.See you.New plan,Ted.So this father-son thing.You know,a backwards baseballcap really youngs me down.All aboard!For Valentines weekend,Lily and Marshall invit

9、ed Kevin andRobin on a couples getaway to Vermont.16 years together,and stillso in love. Whats your secret?The key to relationshipsis understanding the differencebetween hearing and listening.- Its about respecting your partners.- Opinions on.Kind of on a roll here.Relationships are a give and take,

10、and thats why itsimportant to never keep score.Yeah,like how Barneys holdingthese three hours over Teds head.If they were a couple,theyd never work.Obviously. Teds a Taurus,andBarney is such a Scorpio.Good advice. Dont keep score.Theyre not even close to finished.How do we not keep score,you ask?Sou

11、nds like somebody want tohear some examples,sweetie.Im just gonna close myeyes until its all over.Top ten things Lily saidon her wedding night.Solid.Heres one.Every time Marshallsmom comes to visit us,we have to put out allthe tacky Minnesota giftsshes bought us over the years.- Hi,Mom!- Hi,Mrs. Eri

12、ksen!Marshall.I dont see the gopher-hairtea cozy I made you.Guess it wasnt good enough for Lily.But Id never hold that over Marshall,because if I did,hed owe me big-time.Just like I would never hold it over youfor dragging me to thatexperimental theater piece.Is it. is it just screaming?justBut we d

13、ont keep score.Gotcha,loud and clear. Dont keep score.Because if we did,then Marshall wouldowe me for killing my cousins dog.How did I know thathe would eat my wallet?Why was your walletfilled with chocolate?!So were back to this argument!That night,Barney and I found ourselvesin a strange,new unive

14、rse called.The Drunk Train.Where has this heavenlyvehicle been all my life?Can you hear its inspiring chant,Ted?I think I can get laid,Ithink I can get laid.Its-its The Little Enginewith Wood,The Whore-ient Express.The Long Island Tail Road!Oh,I got one. Thomas the Spank Engine!Ted,that is a childre

15、ns book.Okay,as fun as this placeis,its late. So,whats our play?And dont say,The Siamese Twins Werenot stretching out another one of my jackets.No,dude,this is the DrunkTrain. We dont need a play!All we have to do is sit back,playit cool,scope out the hotties,and by the end of the line,we willtotall

16、y be sleeping with someone.threeYou know,you are so great.You sat there listening toMarshall and Lily bicker all night,and you didnt complain once.Well,I am a therapist,soI do plan on billing them.I also have a couple powerfulmedications that might help.- Lily cant take anything; shes pregnant.- I m

17、eant for us.If were getting through five moremeals and a sleigh ride with those guys,we need to be spaced out of our gourds.Well,if we are keeping score,Iowe you one weekend,mister.I was thinking alittle longer than that.What do you mean?Robin,will you marry me?Look,I know this is fast. Im justexcit

18、ed to start a life with you.If thats what you want.Im-Im not saying no.Im-Im not saying anything.I just,um. I-I needsome time to think.I totally understand. Um,takeas much time as you need.Ill just,uh. Ill just keepthis here until youre ready.- Any chance we could put that bad boy away for now?- Its

19、 really just staring at us,isnt it?Ted! Ted! Ted!I thought of some new greatnames for the Drunk Train.Slamtrak!The Chatta-NookieChoo-Choo!Thomas the Spank Engine!- I said that one yesterday.- I dont think you did.Wow. Someones had some coffee.Yeah. 18 cups!There is no way Imfalling asleep tonight!Th

20、at Quinn girl is so wrong.She said I could never loveanything,but I love this train!She said you could neverlove anything? Thats intense.Oh,you have no idea.Stop staring. Not gonna happen.Is there any way we can startover and get to know each other?I already know you.Oh,really?- You wear a suit all

21、the time.- Obviously.You have a stupid rule about everything.I pay for the meal,you handle mydeal. Thats just good manners.But you end most nights alone ata strip club,feeling empty inside,telling yourself your life is somehowepic or classic or. legendary.I never say epic or classic.Do you practice

22、the dark arts?No,they did not forget the potatosalad in your takeout order!Wh-What happened next?!For the last time,Im sorry.Its okay. Your debt is paid.You dont have to come onthe Drunk Train anymore.Youre never gonna meetthe one there,anyway.- Oh,screw the one!- What?Every date Ive been onlately h

23、as been brutal.Last week,I went out with a girlwhose favorite band was Glee.Plus,its almost Valentines Day,and Im alone withoutanything close to a girlfriend.So. all aboard!I have never been moreproud of you. Come on.Ted,tonight is gonna beepic- wait for it- dary!Wait. No,thats not it.How do I usual

24、ly say it?I hate this Quinn girl!- Well,I propose we order a bottle of wine.- Propose!Not propose. Suggest. Im notmarried to the idea. Lily,take it.Why dont we get an appetizer?How about the. onion rings?I mean,diamond rings.I mean,diamond circles.I mean,onion circles. Iknow theyre fattening,but I h

25、ear this placehas great onion circles.So,Robin,about not telling them?The green salad looks interesting.Youre so much better without him.If you ask me,Vinnies a real jerk.Hey,dont you dare badmouth Vinnie!- So what do you do?- Well,I teach architecture,and I also.Oh,big man with a job. Youthink yore

26、 better than me?What.So. where do you live?Im on the Upper West Side.Oh,big man. Living in Manhattan.What,you think youre better than me?You think youre better than me?!Well,its a close one.Lily made 14 awkward references tomarriage, and Marshall made an even 60.- Im so sorry,Kevin.- Its okay.Im gon

27、na go to bed, but you guys thinktomorrow we can stop with all the marriage talk?- I do.- I do.Thats a half a point each.- See you in a minute.- Okay.So? Are you any closer to deciding?well,there is something you dont know.Can you guys keep a secret?- Yeah.- Well,some of us can.Well,theres somethingI

28、 have been keepingfrom everyone for thelast couple of months.I found out that I cant have children.- Im so sorry.- Yeah.- Are you okay?- I cant believe that we didnt know.No,you know,Ive had some. timeto deal with this by myself,and.Im okay. For real.- Are you sure?- Yeah.So. even though I love Kevi

29、n and I.think I want to say yes,Icant until I tell him.But Im scared itllend our relationship.You know what,Robin? If itsmeant to be,then it wont matter.Yeah,you just have to tell him.Thank God we had the keysto Marshall and Lilys place.Pretty sure I told you that beforeyou kicked in that side windo

30、w.You mean,before the burglarskicked in that side windowand stole all of Lilys underwear.What the hell happened on that train?It was absolute chaos.Ted,when I was at M.I.T.,myfavorite Einstein quote was:God doesnt play dicewith the universe.- You didnt go to M.I.T.- I didnt?I actually have no ideawh

31、ere you went to college.Who are you?If we analyze the seeminglyrandom patterns of the train,taking into account standard deviation,and assuming that epsilon approacheszero as angle delta approaches pi,we can conclude.Damn it,Ted!I was about to drop some sweetword play about logarithmsand getting int

32、o a rhythm with my log.Ill remember it.The next morning,Robinmustered up all her courageand finally told Kevin her secret.I know that this isa lot to process,so.you take all the time you need.- And I understand.- Robin.will you marry me?Yes.- What are you doing?- The top speed of the Drunk Train is

33、73 miles per hour,and you factor in anaggregate of 32 boobs per car,28 of which are motorboatable,andyou divide that.No,no,no! This is all wrong!It should be so simple! Imean,its the Drunk Train!My God.its been right in frontof us the whole time.get- Get drunk- Yeah.Of course.Good circling,Ted.This

34、aint my first word search.So my Moms already picked adate,venue and caterer for the wedding.But nothings set in stone.My great-aunts gonnasing. Thats happening.- Are you really okay with this?- Yeah,shes actually got a decent voice.No,are you. are you okay witheverything that we talked about?Of cour

35、se,Robin,I love you.Besides,there areother ways to have kids.Theres adoption,surrogacy.No,Kevin,its not just that Icant have kids,I dont want kids.Okay.Knowing that,do you wantto take your proposal back?Will you marry me?Oh,you take such good care of me.Thanks for loaning me yourshoes for my swollen

36、 feet.Ah! I owe you one.- We have to stop this- Stop what?Keeping score.Youre growing a baby,our baby.So youre officiallyahead of me for life.Oh,thanks,sweetie.Once were parents,wehave to be a team. Deal?eightIts your turn! I was on pointfor six straight hours yesterday!Two of those hours werea nap

37、and you know it!Lets go to the board!I hope its a soupy deuce,sucka.Deal. Were a team.I was all,Do I look likeIm from Ronkonkoma?!Thats all you gotta say!Oh,oh,oh,big man with a briefcase!What do you think,yourebetter than me?!Hey,our stops next.Do you want to join us?- Yeah,I think we do.- Nah,were

38、 good.- Too skanky.- Too skanky? Its the Drunk Train.You crossed out all thestops and wrote Vaginaville. Thats not true. Thatone says Boner Gardens. Whats going on?Wait. Did that Quinn girlshake your game or something?Hell no!At the end of the night.You know,I went out tonight lookingfor a cheap,mea

39、ningless fling.But you turned out to be so special.Id hate to ruin thisfriendship with sex.Oh,oh,I am willing to take that risk.Good one,Ted.Anyway,Im seriously contemplatingpurchasing a new ironing board.Do you think.?Okay,Ill give you this: Youstood by your boy all night,even though you have nocha

40、nce of getting with me.That was pretty cool.Yeah,you know,in retrospect,I think that was the moment you decidedto come back to my place and get nasty.Yeah,right. Get up. Youre on my bra.Sorry.Wheres your bathroom?Past the kitchen,down the hall.See,I feel like I would remember you twobeing naked on y

41、our couchin the middle of the club.Oh,right. That was later in myapartment after we got nasty. My bad.So,you want to go toa diner or something?Wait-wait-wait.You slept with her?I know,I know. Im lateon sending the pictures.Ive been swamped.- You like Quinn.- I.Thats why you cant stopcomplaining about her.Thats why you just tankedour chance with these.lovely innocent flowers.I dont even care where we go,butI hate doing it on the ground.Barney,do you know why Im on theDrunk Train on Valentines Day?Because I have no