Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第五季第十三集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

伊莱斯克鲁格斯EliScruggs是修理工中的最棒的能工巧匠wasthehandiestofallhandymen.随便问他哪个客户Youcouldaskanyofhiscustomers,他们都会告诉你andtheywouldtellyou,他简直无所不修therewasnothinghecouldn'tfix.无论是摔碎的花瓶Whetheritwasabrokenvase.还是漏水的水管Aleakypipe.抑或是摇晃的楼梯扶手Orashakybanister,伊莱总知道怎么把活儿干的漂亮Elialwaysknewhowtogetthejobdone.可不幸的是Butsadly,这个男人为紫藤镇的居民themanwhohadfixedsomanythings修好了很多很多东西fortheresidentsofWisteria1.ane可他现在wasnowabout要让他们伤心了tobreaktheirhearts.伊莱斯克鲁格斯快从上面下来EliScruggs,getdownfromthere!麦克卢斯基太太Mrs.McCluskey.我刚在我邮箱里发现这张便条Justfoundthisnoteinmymailbox.说你要退休了搞什么啊Saysyou'reretiring?Whatthehell?是的女士是真的Yes,ma'am.It,strue.你干吗要做那种蠢事啊Nowwhywouldyouwanttodosomethingstupidlikethat?我医生说我心脏不好MydocsaysIgotabumticker,从现在起得注意休息havetotakeiteasyfromnowon.一修好梅尔太太的房♥顶Well,oncemdonefixingMrs.Mayer'sshingle,我就要飞去怀基基海滩r真讨厌monaplanetowaikiki.Well,thisisveryannoying.那要是我热水器坏了谁给我修啊Who,sgonnafixmywaterheaterwhenitbreaks?我遇见了这个叫托比的年轻人Oh,ImetthisyoungguynamedToby.他很聪明刚30岁他会照顾好你的Verybright,justturned30.He'lltakecareofyou.该死的伊莱Ah,damnit,Eli!我不喜欢有陌生人在我家里Iamnotcomfortablewithstrangersinmyhouse.花了10年我才信得过你我知道Tookmetenyearstotrustyou.1know.好多人走时都把工具跟钉子乱扔着Mostofthoseguysleavetoolsandnailsallovertheplace.你从来不留烂摊子Youneverleaveamess.谢谢您女士Thankyou,ma'am.你告诉所有人你要离开了吗Haveyoutoldeveryoneelseyou'releaving?我在每个人邮箱里都留了一样的便条1leftcopiesofthatsamenoteineverybody'smailbox.那样可不好Well,that,snotright.这么多年过来大家会想跟你告别的Afteralltheseyears,peoplewillwanttosaygood-bye,你知道也许给你办个派对什么的and.youknow,maybethrowyouapartyorsomethin,.不我更喜欢静静的离开你明白我意思的话Oh,no.Iprefertogoquietly,ifyouknowwhatImean.我不想小题大做Idon'twantabigfuss.好吧我会想你的伊莱Well,llmissyou,Eli.永远不会有人像你一样Therewillneverbeanotheronelikeyou.说着伊莱斯克鲁格斯最后一次Withthat,Eliscruggsclimbedhisladder爬上了梯子fortheverylasttime.他最后的修理一结束Andoncehehadfinishedmakinghislastrepair,伊莱斯克鲁格斯就静静的不慌不忙的Eliscruggs.Quietly,withnofuss.心脏病发作死去了Hadaheartattackanddied.最重要的是Andmostimportantly.一点儿烂摊子也没留下Withoutleavingamess.一个小时候才有人注意到Ittookanhourforsomeonetofinallynotice尸体躺在苏珊梅尔太太的屋顶上thebodylayingatopSusanMayer,sroof.Aah!不到十分钟Itwaslessthantenminuteslater邻居们相继而来thattheneighborsbeganarriving,都想看看eachdeterminedtogetalook警♥察♥和医护人员atthevariousparamedicsandpolicemen怎么把尸体抬下来的whowereallfranticallytryingtofigureout护理人员和警♥察♥exactlyhowtobringthebodydown.两天后我的朋友们意识到Andittooktwodaysformyfriendstorealize这个悲剧影响到她们thistragedyhadaffectedthem.等着你呢快点We'reready!Comeon.比她们想象的影响更大Morethantheywerewillingtoadmit.加布准备好零钱了吗Hey,Gaby,didyouremembertogetchange?兑换筹码的时候我可不想听到你说'CausewhenIcashinmychips,Idon'twanttohearyousay,我只有整五十说到兑换筹码"allvegotis$50s,"Speakingofcashinginyourchips,谁知道伊莱的葬礼什么时候举♥行♥好像是周六anyoneknowwhenEli'sfuneralis?Oh,Ithinkit,sSaturday.我想知道有多少人去Iwonderhowmanypeoplearegonnashowup.麦克卢斯基夫人说他没什么亲人可怜的伊莱Mrs.McCluskeywassayinghedidn'thavemuchfamily.PoorEli.我们要确保他的葬礼上有花Weshouldmakesurehe'sgotflowersathisfuneral.我同意大概出多少min.Howmucharewetalking?不知道加布你觉得呢1don'tknow.Whatdoyouthink,Gaby?加布Gaby?JimmyChoo（著名鞋子品牌）Wow!Jimmychoo!卡洛斯Oh,Carlos!美国现在还没的卖♥♥呢Thesearen'teveninthestatesyet.有什么阴谋What,sthecatch?什么意思Whatareyoutalkingabout?除非我生气或者是快要生气Youneverbuymeapresent你根本不会送我礼物unlessmmadorabouttobemad.我没觉得不高兴所以直说吧AndIdon'tthinkIam,sowhyamIabouttobe?我明天得去克利夫兰市卡洛斯IhavetogotoClevelandtomorrow.Carlos!他们求我去的向南方合并你才刚回来They'rebeggingme.Themerger'sgoingsouth.Youjustgothome!带着礼物Withshoes.别把我丢在这儿我快疯Don'tleavemehere.mgoingoutofmymind.人们都很无聊很士Everyoneissoboringandsuburban.这里的学生能有多好的信誉Andhowmanyfreakin'honorstudentscanthatschoolhave?我们能不在修理工面前吵架吗他有名字的Canwepleasenotargueinfrontofthehandyman?Hehasaname.你叫什么What'syourname?伊莱斯克鲁格斯Eliscruggs.听见了吗卡洛斯Youhearthat,Carlos?你把我带到这个鬼地方You'vebroughtmetoaplace这里的人叫伊莱斯克鲁格斯wherepeoplearenamed"Eliscruggs."好吧我不工作了Fine.llgiveupmyjob.工作带来的一切都不复存在Andeverythingthatcomeswithit.JimmyChoos得留着NottheJimmychoos.它们是我唯一的朋友They'retheonlyfriendsvegot.我想也是Thoughtso.去收拾行李了mgoingtopack.你知道这不关我的事Youknow,it,snoneofmybusiness.没错没你的事You'reright.It'snot.但是这里的女士们Buttheladiesinthisneighborhood都很不错的是的她们带了松饼来areactuallyprettynice.Yeah.Theycameby,broughtmuffins.其中一个想要问她的篮户Oneof,emwantsherbasketback.那肯定是布里That,dbeBree.不管怎样她和朋友们AnyhOw,sheandtheotherladies,uh,每周都会打牌playpokereveryweek.如果你想参加我可以跟她们说Ifyou'dlike,Icouldtalkto,em,看她们想不想在你这玩seeifthey'llletyouhostagame.你好我们是邻居Hi.We're,um.Theneighborhood.加布丽尔邀请我们来打牌Gabrielleinvitedustoplaypoker.她在家吗So.isshein?索利斯女士马上就下来Mrs.Soliswillberightdown.她喜欢来个开场秀Shelikestomakeanentrance.“开场秀”什么意思Whatdoesthatmean,anentrance"?大家好Hellothere.欢迎来我家Welcometomyhome.原来是这个意思Oh.That'swhatitmeans.我就说“南瓜”SoIsaid,"pumpkin".就是琼邦乔维That'swhatIcallJonbonjovi.我说南瓜就算我会开游艇Isaid,"pumpkin,evenifIcouldsteerayacht,我也不会穿着5英寸的高跟鞋开mcertainlynotabouttodoitin5-inchheels."这是真的Truestory.看来你的生活让人羡艳啊Well,you'vecertainlyhadquiteaglamorouslife.在我搬到这个鸟不拉屎的地方来之前Well,itwasbeforemyhusbandmovedmeheretoeastnowhere.说真的我不知道你们是怎么做的Seriously,Idon'tknowhowyougirlsdoit做什么早上起床啊Dowhat?Getoutofbedinthemorning.我在这才住了一个月I'veonlylivedhereamonth,我都想自杀了andIwanttoputaguntomyhead.你了解吧YouknowwhatImean?我们不知道这里没有夜♥总♥会♥剧院No,wedon't.Therearenogoodnightclubs,notheater.你们怎么消遣Whatdoyoudoforagoodtime?我们看孩子们踢球Well,wewatchthekidsplaysoccer.学校的剧团会有不错的演出Andtheschooldramadepartmentputsonsomereallygreatshows.当然还有教堂Andthenthere'schurch,ofcourse.教堂Church.天哪你说真的啊Oh,you'reserious.我知道这里很安静我想1.ook,Iknowit,squiethere,but1thinkyou'llfind你很快会发现美景镇的魅力there,sarealcharmtoFairview.不不是可爱我知道No,no,it'scute.It,scute.Igetthat.只是It'sjust.我曾是顶级模特Iwasatop-tierfashionmodel,我想我要面对现实andIguessmjustgonnahavetogetusedtothefact美好的生活已经过去thatthebestpartofmylifeisbehindme.永别了和凯特摩丝喝伏特加的时光Good-byedoingvodkashotswithKatemoss,迎接andhello和你们一起喝廉价咖啡的日子tosippinginternationalcoffeewithyougirls.满堂红Fullhouse.什么事Yes?你好索利斯女士在吗Hello.IsMrs.Solishere?我来我来走开走开Oh,IgotitIgotit.Go,go,go,go,go.女士这是修水槽的账单好的谢谢Ma'am,here'sthebillforfixingyoursink.Okay.Thankyou.牌局上你让人深刻印象Bytheway.Youmadequiteanimpressionatthepokergame.真的吗当然她们一直在谈论你Really?Oh,yeah.Theladiescan'tstoptalkingaboutyou.她们一定兴奋不已Aw.Well,msureitwaskindofexciting因为身边有个耀眼明星forthemtohaveastarintheirmidst.我想想她们有没有说到“明星”Uh,letmethink.Didtheysay,star11?我只听到高傲自大面目可憎jS♥A♥1heard,uh,"stuck-up,""obnoxious/'"bitch."什么What?!我冒险让你和她们一起打牌Youknow,Iwentoutonalimbtogetyouintothatgame,而你在她们面前显得andthenyougointhereactinglike高人一等是衣服显得不是我的态度you'rebetterthantheyare.Oh,myclothessaidthat,notme.你问过她们生活得怎样吗Well,didyouaskthemanythingabouttheirlives?为什么要谈论她们的生活Whywouldtheywanttotalkabouttheirlives?多无聊啊Theirlivesareboring.你知道什么才叫真正的无聊吗Well,youknowwhat'sgonnabereallyboring?你一个人守着大空房♥子没有朋友Yousittingherealoneinthisbighousewithoutanyfriends.我要是你就会放下高姿态IfIwereyou,ddroptheattitude.学着和邻居相处1.earntolikeyourneighbors.谢谢你的建议Well,thanksfortheadvice.要给你加工资吗Youwannaaddthattoyourbill?不收费No.It'sonthehouse.我带来些松饼Ibroughtmuffins.真不错That'ssonice.我们正在Wewerejust.打牌没有邀请我Playingpoker,andIwasn'tinvited.我知道也明白Iknow.Igetit我只想告诉你们Ijustwantedtotellyouguys我给你们的第一印象很糟糕IknowImadeahorriblefirstimpression.现在知道模特保持沉默的原因了吧Nowyouknowwhymodelsdon'tusuallytalk.因为我们老说些蠢话还盛气凌人Becausewesayalotofstupid,patronizingthings显得讨人厌thatmakepeoplewanttoavoidus.我本来想说我丈夫从不在家WhatIshould'vesaidwas.Myhusband'sneverhome.我想念那所城市Imissthecity.怀念我的生活Imissmylife.我一直都孤独mlonelyallthetime.我真该交些朋友AndIcouldreallyusesomefriends.不管怎样给Anyway,here.这才是你的登场方式Nowthat'showyoumakeanentrance.加布Gaby?抱歉怎么啦msorry.What?我们要在伊莱的葬礼上献花圈凑一份吗We'regettingawreathforEli,sfuneral.Areyouin?让我来买♥♥单吧Actually,whydon,tyouletmepayforit?名以上当然是全部人送的不你不必这样Itcanstillbefromallofus.No,youdon,thavetodothat.我就想这样Isortofdo.我们继续打牌吧Nowlet'splaysomepoker.好吧风水轮流转也该到我了Allright,timeformylucktochange.这把是给伊莱的ThishandisforEli.下把是给伊莱的Hmm.NexthandisforEli.葬礼后要聚会的话Youknow,ifwe'regonnahaveaget-together我们得准备菜单afterthefuneral,weshouldstartthinkingaboutfood.所谓我们和食物你是指布里吧还用说吗Andby"we"and"food,"youmeanBree,right?1thoughtthatwasclear.我很乐意筹办有什么特殊要求吗dbehappyto.Anyspecialrequests?参考下你的烹饪书吧Howaboutwepicksomethingfromyourcookbook?好加布你的那本呢Great.Gaby,doyouhaveyourcopy?我去拿llgogetit.你用我的烹饪书垫桌脚Youusemycookbooktobalanceyourtable?这只是权宜之计Oh,it'sonlytemporary.胡安妮塔要用她的画图本Juanitaneededhercoloringbookback.好吧Oh.Allright留心啦女士们Watchout,ladies.抱歉菜肉馅煎蛋饼有点干msorryifthefrittataisabitdry.开玩笑吧太可口了Areyoukidding?It'sgreat.你该把食谱给勒奈特对因为Youshouldgive1.ynettetherecipe.Yes,'causethat'swhat怀胎八月的妇女渴望在烤炉前折腾我的烤炉温度很不稳定womenintheireighthmonthreallycrave.morestovetime.Mineissoerratic.我都不知道实际温度是多少mnotevensurewhattherealtemperatureis.当然如果某位医生Ofcourse,ifacertaindoctor肯增加开支的话我们不会买♥♥个新烤炉wouldloosenthepursestrings.We,renotgettinganewstove.你要是多看些病人Ifyouwouldjusttakeonafewmorepatients,就买♥♥得起了亲爱的如果我做的还不够Wecouldaffordit.Well,ifmnotsupportingyouadequately,mydear,随便你怎么做比如呢byallmeans,feelfreetodosomethingaboutit.Suchas?你或许可以找份工作Well,youcouldmaybe.Idon'tknow,getajob?我有工作我是全职家庭主妇Ihaveajob.mahomemaker.而且很称职做这道菜Andadamngoodone.Sotomakethis,只要在火腿和洋葱上撒点盐吗别做梦了汤姆you.youjusts-sautesomehamandsomeonions.it'snothappening,Tom.我有时想Ijustsometimesthink如果你外出工作挣钱maybeyouwouldappreciatethevalueofadollarmore就能体会挣钱的辛苦ifyouhadtoworkoutsidethehome.你要是自己洗衣做饭一次AndIthinkyouwouldappreciatemyvaluemoreifforonce,就能更体会我的价值youhadtocookyourownfoodandwashyourownclothes.勒奈特让我自己补鞋子你要是不让我怀孕1.ynettemakesmesewmyownbuttons.llsewanythingyouwant我会包揽所有针线活ifyoujuststopgettingmepregnant.我想要个新烤炉莱克斯Iwantanewstove,Rex,如果我非得找份工作才能买♥♥那我就找andifIneedtogetajobtopayforit,sobeit.如果你要个烤炉Ifyou'relookingforastove,我们倒有个基本全新we'vegotonethat'shardlyeverbeenused.真希望我的子♥宫&hearts池全新啊IwishIcouldsaythesameformyuterus.没错我倒了大家的胃口Oh,yeah.Iruinedthebrunch.那下面怎么样伊莱Hey,how'sitlookingunderthere,Eli?不用我断手断脚来抵付费吧Isitgonnacostmeanarmandaleg?不用几根指头大概就够rNah.Afewfingers,maybe.亲爱的我肚子在打鼓了什么时候开饭Honey,mystomach'sgrowling.When'sdinner?还有点剩饭Oh,we'rehavingleftovers.你可以自己热一下Youcanheatthemupyourselfifyouwant.我们什么时候开始吃剩饭了Sincewhendowehaveleftovers?从我写烹饪书开始SinceIstartedwritingmyowncookbook.还记得你告诉过我Rememberhowyoutoldme我该自己赚钱吗Ishouldstartmakingmyownmoney?我翻阅了所有的旧食谱Well,vebeengoingthroughallmyoldrecipes,突然想到andvegotthisgreatidea写本美式家庭烹饪指南不是真的吧forarealhome-styleAmericancookbook.You,renotserious?为什么不是Whywouldn'tIbe?大家对我的菜都赞不绝口你很优秀可得了吧Peoplearealwayscomplimentingmeonmycooking.You'regreat,butcomeon.难道无聊的家庭主妇做手好面条Everyboredhousewifewhopullsoffadecentlasagne就能写本烹饪书吗thinksshecanwriteacookbook.你觉得我是个平常的主妇吗Youthinkmjustlikeeveryotherhousewife?不不不我不是这个意思只是No.No,no,no.That'snotwhatmsaying.It'sjustthat.你对写作了解多少Whatdoyoureallyknowaboutwriting?我会学这本书不是简单的烹饪书I'lllearn.AndIwantittobemorethanjustacookbook.我还要谈到传统观念价值Iwanttotalkabouttraditionalvalues并写点家政建议andgivehelpfulhintsabouthomemaking.听着都是我的错1.ook,look,thisismyfault.那天我让你找份工作Youknow,I-Iwasribbingyoutheotherday只是开个玩笑可你当真了aboutgettingajob,butyoutookitseriously.你要真想买♥♥个烤炉我给你买♥♥就是了Ifyoureallywantanewstove,llgetyouastove.现在你能别做傻事Nowcanyoustopthisfoolishness给我做顿正餐吗剩菜剩饭可不行andmakemesomethingtoeatthatisn'tleftovers?范德坎普女士Mrs.VanDeKamp?栏杆我已经修好了应该没事了Ifixedyourbanister.Shouldbefinenow.我这就走了随便什么时候付钱都行lljustgo.Youcanpaymewhenever.我知道你现在很难过Iknowthisisaroughtimeforyou.谢谢伊莱Thanks,Eli.顺便告诉你Bytheway,范德坎普先生的葬礼办得很好theserviceforMr.V.Wasreallynice.你出席了啊Youwerethere?我坐在教堂后排Isatinthebackofthechurch.我想和范德坎普先生道别Iwantedtosaygood-byetoMr.V.那么So,uh.你想过今后要干什么吗Haveyouthoughtaboutwhatyou'regonnadonow?你是说我的生活吗Youmean,withmylife?我不知道1don'tknow.范德坎普女十Mrs.V.我一直都想把这个给你vebeenmeaningtogivethistoyouforawhilenow.但我ButI,uh,没找到合适的时机couldneverfindtherightmoment.我帮你保留了这个以防你哪天需要它Ikeptitforyou,justincaseyoumightneeditsomeday.希望你不介意Hopeyoudon'tmind.我得告诉你我做了你的法式烘肉卷Oh,Igottatellyou.Imadeyourcajunmeatloaf.那是我吃过最美味的一餐Whoo!Thatmaybemyfavoritemealever.我不敢相信你保存了这个Ican'tbelieveyousavedthis.当然我现在没心情Ah.Ofcourse,mnotreallyinthemood去写一本烹饪书towriteacookbookrightnow.总有天会写的Well.Maybeonedayyouwillbe.布里我知道守灵那天你能做什么了Hey,Bree,Iknowwhatyoucanmakeforthewake.那个脆皮面包虾Thatflaky-breaded-shrimpthing.谢谢但我知道我要做什么了Thanks,butIknowexactlywhatmgonnamake.大卫这次旅行是不错但我想告诉你Dave,itwasanicetrip,butIgottatellyou,既然我们呆在宾馆不出去Idon'tknowwhywespentallthatmoneygoingtoTheBahamas.为什么还要费钱去巴哈马群岛Ifwe'renotgonnaleavethehotelroom,干吗不直接一起洗澡thenwhynotjustcoverourselvesinsuntanlotion然后在这里做♥爱♥呢andhavesexhere?麦克卢斯基女士刚给你留言了YoujustgotamessagefromMrs.McCluskey.她说你的修理工死了Oh?Shesaidyourhandymandied.伊莱Eli?天哪Oh,mygod.他在苏珊家修房♥顶时HewasworkingonSusan'sroof突发心脏病anddroppeddeadofaheartattack.真难以置信Canyoubelievethat?不不不你不能去健身No,no,no.Youarenotgoingtothegymagain.你说过我们F午要做♥爱♥的Yousaidweweregonnahaveafternoonsex.等我回来就做你每次都这样说恩贝托We'lldoitwhenIgetback.Yousaythateverytime,umberto,到时又喊累都是你太缠人了andthenyou'retootired.MaybeIwouldn'tbeifyouweren'tsoclingy.缠人Clingy?我们两个星期没做了Wehaven'thadsexintwoweeks.好像我回到少女时代了It,slikem15again.我们到底怎么了What'swrongwithus?不是我们是你Notus.You.你总是欲求不满Yourlibidoisoutofcontrol.恩贝托Umberto.你多得是情♥趣♥用♥品♥好好利用1.ook,you'vegotadrawerfuloftoys.Use'em.伊莱我忘记你在里面Oh!Ahem.Oh!Oh!Eli!I-Iforgotyouwereinthere.水龙头我修好了Yeah.mdonefixingyourfaucet.实际上我十分钟前就修好了Actually,Iwasdonetenminutesago,但我不敢出来抱歉你都听见了butIwasafraidtocomeout.msorryyouheardallofthat.好消息是刚刚Thegoodnewsis,whileIwasinthere,我还加固了你的浴盆免费Ire-groutedyourtub.Freeofcharge.等等Waitasecond.你觉得我臀部怎么样Whatdoyouthinkofmyass?什么Sorry?满分十分我的臀部得几分Myass.Onascalefromonetoten.这个我觉得Well,i-i-i,uh.快点Ticktock.满分是满分Ten.It,saten.胸部呢神气又紧实吗Andtheboobs?Perkyandfirm?你还给它们取了名字You'venamedthem?别这样伊莱Oh,comeon,Eli.我丈夫不和我做♥爱♥Myhusbandwon'thavesexwithme.我就想知道是不是我的原因Ijustneedtomakesureit,snot.me.不是你的问题It'snotyou.你确定Areyousure?相信我我以前是建筑工人Trustme.Iusedtoworkinconstruction.那些兄弟看到你会抓狂的Mybuddieswould'vegonecrazyforyou.嘘声下流的手势Catcalls,uh,nastygestures.说你呢波霸女“Hey,you,withthesweatermeats!有需要就电♥话♥我"Ifyoueverneedanyworkdone,callme!我绝对是最佳人选'CauseIgottheperfecttoolforthejob!"你听懂了吗Y-yougetthedrift.听懂了Yeah.Ido.那真是侮辱和贬低Thatwasinsultinganddemeaning.非常感谢Oh.Thankyousomuch.布利特小姐MissBritt?大门开着Thedoorwas