Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第五季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

绝望的主妇前情提要Previouslyon.我们说好了顺其自然Wehadanagreementtokeepthingscasual.苏珊清楚表达了她的感受Susanmadeherfeelingsclear.我要跟其她女人好上了你不会介意吗SoifIwaswithanotherwoman,thatwouldn'tbotheryou?不不会No,itwouldn't.你在这工作Youworkhere?我对食物有研究我懂得商机mgreatwithfood.Iunderstandbusiness.布里跟奥森成了搭档BreemadeOrsonapartner.她还一直问关于我的事吗有一些Isshestillaskingyouquestionsaboutme?Afew.大卫开始设法对付凯伦麦克卢斯基AndDavetookstepstogetKarenMcCluskeyoutoftheway.你认为可以跟我耍花招吗Youthinkyoucanscrewwithme?凯伦住手Karen!Stopdoingthat.作为美景镇乡村俱乐部的一名按♥摩♥师AsamasseurfortheFairviewcountryclub,卡洛斯索利斯在让女人舒心惬意方面CarlosSolishadbecomeanexpert水平一流onhowtomakewomenhappy.他会为苏布里奇斯点上香薰蜡烛That'swhyhealwayshadscentedcandleswaitingforsueBridges.为贝琪丹尼尔播放新世纪音乐NewagemusicforBetsyDaniel.为莎伦格兰准备苹果利口酒AndappleschnappsforShannonGlenn.是的过去几年间Yes,Carloshadmadealotofwomenhappy卡洛斯让很多女人舒心惬意overtheyears.但在一个不同寻常的周三下午ButononeveryunusualWednesdayafternoon.他无意中HemadeMrs.Virginiahildebrand让维吉妮亚希尔德布兰夫人alittlehappier.有些兴奋Thanheintended.海伦说你最后一个预约取消了Helensaidyourlastreservationjustcanceled.要送你回家吗谢谢克雷太感谢rDoyouwantaridehome?Thanks,Clay.That,dbegreat.我能问你个问题吗你做按♥摩&hearts少币多久了Um.canIaskyousomething?Howlongyoubeenamasseur?14年14years.那这么多年Okay.Andinallthoseyears.你有没有不小心让一个女人Haveyoueveraccidentallygivenawoman.达到高♥潮♥高♥潮♥Anorgasm?Anorgasm?!小声点你想让我丢工作啊Keepyourvoicedown.Youwanttogetmefired?怎公能不小心让一个女人达到高♥潮♥我不清楚Howdoyouaccidentallygiveawomananorgasm?Idon'tknow.我几乎没让我女朋友达到过高♥潮♥尽管我很卖♥♥力Icanbarelygivemygirlfriendone,andItryreallyhard.我只是给她按♥摩&hearts后背而已AllIdidwastouchherback.你确定Areyousure?有些人她们身体不再敏感Someoftheseoldbroads.Theirbodiesdrop.不是所有事都是你想象中的那样Noteverything'swhereit'ssupposedtobe.我眼睛是看不见但感觉不会错Imaybeblind,butmysenseoftouchisjustfine.那也许她真的很享受这次按♥摩♥Well,thenmaybeshejustreallylikedthemassage.你得相信她在按♥摩♥床上的呻♥吟♥Youwouldn'tbelievethemoanersIgetonmytable.告诉你她兴奋地抽搐mtellingyou,herbodywasquivering,呼吸急促andshecouldbarelybreathe.有个方法可以确定Allright,well,there,sonesure-firewaytofindout.你小费信封在哪桌子上Where,syourtipenvelope?Onthecounter.她给我留了多少钱Howmuchsheleaveme?两次高♥潮♥都绰绰有余Enoughfortwoorgasms.是的Yes.卡洛斯索利斯在让女人舒心惬意方面水平一流CarlosSoliswasanexpertonhowtomakewomenhappy.我准备去买♥♥点日常用品你小费呢mabouttogogetgroceries.Whereareyourtips?天哪怎么那么多Oh,mygod!Howdidyougetsomuch?他知道让老婆舒心惬意最好的方法Andheknewthebestwaytokeephiswifehappy.只是我工作出色而已Just.goodatmyjob.是撒谎Well.Mwah.Wastolie.这世界上有很多危险的女人Therearedangerouswomeninthisworld.就像虎视眈眈的捕食者等待猎物Deviouspredatorswaitingtostrike.你可以根据她们用的口红Youcanspotthembythelipsticktheyuse,穿的鞋子theshoestheywear喷的香水把她们认出来andtheperfumetheychoose.但判断一个女人是否危险最简单的方法Buttheeasiestwaytospotadangerouswoman是看她istoseehowshebehaves.我要好好让你开心开心Iamabouttomakeyousohappy.在有妇之夫面前的表现Withanotherwoman,shusband.艾米不要担心午餐特色菜Amy,don'tworryaboutthelunchspecials.我就要到了我会搞定Iamonlytwoblocksaway.I'lltakecareofitonceI.等等你去做吧我还要一会Actually,youdothem.mgonnabeawhile.汤姆Tom?勒奈特你在这做什么H.1.ynette,hey.What.whatareyoudoinghere?真有趣我也要问你这个问题Sofunny.Iwasgonnaaskyouthesamequestion.但我要加上“究竟”ButIwasgonnastartwith"whatthehell?"你还记得安吧安希林YourememberAnne,right?Anneschilling.科比的妈妈Kirby'smom.三年级的时候我们一起开家长会Wewereroomparentstogetherinthethirdgrade.是啊Right.那你究竟在这干什么So.whatthehell?汤姆为什么不让她看看呢Tom,whydon'twejustshowher?为我的乐队准备的It,sformyband.安帮我们排练找了个地方Annehasbeenhelpingusfindarehearsalspace.是啊你是房&hearts产经纪人Oh.Oh.That'sright.You'rearealtor.现在我知道你在想什么看起来像是在浪费钱NowIknowwhatyou'rethinking.Itseemslikeawasteofmoney.但我刚才让他们减少了租金ButIjustgotthemtoreducetherent还添了一些设备andthrowintheutilities.我们在车♥库♥排练的时候Andyou'realwayscomplainingaboutthenoise你老是抱怨有噪音所以whenwepracticeinthegarage,so,youknow.你觉得怎么样Whatdoyouthink?我认为Ithink.很好It'sgreat.真的吗Youdo?是啊Yeah.Ah!太棒了Wonderful.是啊Yeah.我10点前要赶到别的地方1.isten,Ihavetobesomewhereby10:00,我们现在签租约怎么样sowhydon'twesignaleaserightnow?我还以为你认为这主意糟透了Wow!I-Iwasconvincedthatyouwouldthinkitwasadumbidea.是有点糟Well.it'salittledumb,但跟我原来想的比起来butcomparedtowhatIwasthinking.你原来想的什么Whatwereyouthinking?只是Well,it'sjust.我看到你俩一起我Isawyoutwotogether,andI.我不知道你们她看起来很Ididn'tknowthatyouwere.Andshelooksso.拜托汤姆她要赶去别的地方Forgodsakes,Tom,thewomanhastobesomewhere.快签了那个租约Justsignthedamnlease.杰克逊莫名其妙地说句”我们同居吧”Sooutofnowhere,Jacksonsays,"let'smoveintogether."当然我愣住了I-Imean,ofcourseIwasstunned.当我拒绝的时候他就跟我分了AndthenwhenIsaidno,hejustbrokeupwithme.他真的期望我在热恋中了吗1mean,doeshereallyexpectmetobeinlove只有五个月而已真是疯狂afterjustfivemonths?That,scrazy.我猜是的这些粉饰他做的很好Yeah,Iguess,althoughhisworkonthesemoldingsisamazing.你真的想让我重刷一遍吗苏珊娜Youreallywantmetorepaintthese,Suzanne?我是苏珊It,sSusan.是他先说不想太认真的Andhewasthefirstonetosayhedidn'twanttogetserious.我才乐意我们只是在一起挺开心WhichiswhyIwashappy.Wewerejusthavingfun.也许你应该打电♥话♥给他Well,maybeyoushouldcallhim.这颜色怎么样一般Howdoyoulikethiscolor?Notsomuch.弗兰克我怎么能给他打电♥话♥Frank,howcanIcallhim?是他先提出分手的He,stheonethatendeditwithme.这家伙让你开心1.ook,theguymakesyouhappy.他说他爱你Hesayshelovesyou.你不应该让骄傲Yougonnaletpridestopyou断送了你们的感情fromfindingoutwherethisthingcouldgo?去吧Comeon.别傻了Don'tbestupid.我该付你多少钱HowmuchamIpayingyou?一小时14块$14anhour.这可不够That'snotenough.是的是不够No,ma'am,it'snot.卡洛斯你怎么回家了Carlos,whatareyoudoinghome?维吉妮亚坚持载我一程Uh,Virginiainsistedongivingmearide.你一定是加布丽尔YoumustbeGabrielle.卡洛斯给我说了很多关于你的事Carloshastoldmesomuchaboutyou.我是维吉妮亚希尔德布兰mVirginiahildebrand.您是维吉妮亚希尔德布兰夫人Oh!YouaretheMrs.Hildebrand.卡洛斯最喜欢的顾客Well,you'reCarlos'favoriteclient.实际上是我最喜欢的Oh!Well,mine,anyway.我用你给的丰厚小费买♥♥了这件上衣Iboughtthistopwiththatcrazytipyougavehim.卡洛斯帮我解决了背部问题YourCarloshashelpedmybackproblems从没有按♥摩&hearts师做到过likenomasseurIhaveeverhad.这么多年以来我第一次感到不疼了mpain-freeforthefirsttimeinyears.卡洛斯就是为你服务的魔手先生Oh,that'sCarIosforyou.Mr.Magichands.他每次都能按中关键穴位Hehitstheosweetspoteverytime.好了加布Okay,Gaby.我该走了Ishouldgonow,但请答应我至少考虑下我的小提议butpromiseyou'llatleastconsidermylittleproposal.什么提议Whatproposal?我不想刚有所好转就停下来Ihatetostopwhenwe,remakingsomuchprogress,但我要去欧洲两个月butIneedtogotoEuropefortwomonths,主要是伦敦和罗马mostly1.ondonandRome.如果卡洛斯能作为我的私人按♥摩♥师一同前往dbesograteful我将不胜感激ifCarlosweretoaccompanymeasmypersonalmasseur.整整两个月Twowholemonths?看我告诉过你时间太久加布要照顾女儿See?Itoldyou.It'stoolong,andGabyhasthegirlsand.我知道这要求有些过了Iknowit'salottoask,所以我会付给卡洛斯5万块whichiswhymofferingCarlos$50,000.5万块$50,000?每月Permonth.去吧去吧Well,pip-pipandarrivederci!加布你们讨论Gaby.llleaveyoutwotodiscussit有什么好讨论的有那个数目的钱Well,uh,what,stodiscuss?Forthatkindofmoney,你可以把他关到笼子里喂花生youcanlockhiminacageandfeedhimpeanuts.卡洛斯明天见很高兴见到你加布llseeyoutomorrow,Carlos.1.ovelymeetingyou,Gaby.卡洛斯还犹豫什么Carlos,don'teventhinkaboutsayingnotothis!她不是我唯一的顾客Sheisnotmyonlyclient.如果我走其他客人会失望llbelettingdowntherestifIgo.班克斯先生有可能解雇我不要担心班克斯先生Mr.Bankscouldevenfireme.Oh,don'tworryaboutMr.Banks.我去搞定他lltakecareofhim.加布炒了你又怎样Gaby!Andsowhatifhefiresyou?一旦维吉妮亚告诉了她所有的富婆朋友OnceVirginiatellsallofherrichladyfriends你为她做的事情aboutwhatyoudidforher,她们会在房♥子外排着队等的they'llbelininguparoundtheblock.真好啊Great好消息Hey,greatnews.我一个朋友彼得希奇打电♥话♥Ijustgotacallfrommyoldfriend,Peterhickey.我以前都没听说过那名字1don'trecalleverhearingthatnamebefore.他是大学同学不管了他说He,safriendfromcollege.Anyway,hementionedthat他父母下个月50周年结婚纪念hisparents'50thanniversarywasnextmonth,我说服他让我们做80个人的晚餐andIconvincedhimtoletuscaterit.Dinnerfor80.80?!一击即中Heshoots,hescores!奥森你真是太棒了Orson!Youareamazing!才工作一周Oh!Oneweekonthejob,就拉了这么大一笔生意andhe,salreadybringinginhugeaccounts.真好啊That'sgreat.最好用醋浸下扇贝为明天的午餐准备Well,bettergomarinatethosescallopsforthelunchtomorrow.扇贝已经做好了Oh,scallops?Done.做好了Done?我还做了香蒜酱汁Mm.Oh,IalsomadethePestomayonnaise,我已经为每个蛋糕都准备好了饮料andIputtheindividualcobblersintheirramekins.看起来我们万事俱备就等明早了Oh.Well,itlookslikewe'reallsetuntilthemorningthen.你下午可以不用上班那做什么Hey,whydon'tyou,uh,taketheafternoonoff?Anddowhat?我不知道读书放松修修趾甲Idon'tknow.read,relax,giveyourselfapedicure.好吧Fine.你为何不让我把袜子脱掉WhatdoyoubetItakemysocksoff看看奥森是否已经帮我修好andseeOrson'salreadydoneitforme?你在干嘛Whatareyoudoing?冰箱需要清洁Refrigeratorneedscleaning.不不需要No,itdoesn't.而且我给你放假了啊回家吧Andbesides,Igaveyouthedayoff.Nowgohome.我打算搬到马里兰去mthinkingaboutmovingtoMaryland.马里兰Maryland?没错迪伦和她老公在那边Mm-hmm.Dylan,stherewithherhusband,宝宝马上就快出生了andthebaby'scomingsoon.也许我该到那边去遭遭罪Maybeit,stimeformetogoinflictmyselfonthem.你不能就这么撒手走了Youcan'tjustupandmove.你在这有你的生活不我没有只是有份临时工作而已Youhavealifehere.No,Idon't.Ihaveajob.period.没有孩子要抚养没有丈夫没有男朋友Nokidstoraise,nohusband,noboyfriend.还是乖乖认输去做个姥姥好了Mightaswellthrowinthetoweland.gobeagrandma.凯瑟琳你是个有活力有魅力的女人你Katherine,youareavibrant,attractivewoman.You.一个2年没有性生活的女人Whohasn'thadsexintwoyears.那就是姥姥的定义Thatspells"grandma"tome.我还未做最后决定让我好好考虑一下Ihaven'tmadeupmymindyet.Justletmethinkaboutit.还是让我忙点比较好Andhelpkeepmebusy.你擦完这个Whenyou'redonewiththat,你可以把烤箱好好擦一遍theovencoulduseareallygoodscrubbing.太好了Blessyou.凯伦Karen?拿这个一定把你累坏了吧Oh.Thosemust'vesetyoubackachunk.是啊没错Yes,theydid.不过为了你是值得的Notthatyoudeservethem.我不会怪你发疯的Idon'tblameyouforbeingmad.我可没发疯mnotmad.不过我有点愤怒了mfurious.你当时怎么想的Nowwhatthehellwereyouthinking,拿棒球棒招呼我丈夫comingatmyhusbandwithabaseballbat?我知道真的非常抱歉Iknow.mreallysorry,Edie.医生让我吃了些新药让我变糊涂了Thedoctorhadmeonthesenewmeds,anditmademeloopy.我觉得大卫一直在跟我作对1thoughtDavewasmessingwithmyhead,而且主要是那可恶的药片andallthetime,itwasthedamnpills.那最好别再吃那药rWell,Ihopeyoustoppedtakingthem.没错Youbet.我得让神智清醒点儿Ihadtogetmymarblesback.我知道你才进来没多久Uh,look,Iknowyoujustgothere,但我真的有点困butIamsosleepyand.好的你回家了我再去看你Ofcourse.llseeyouwhenyougethome.事实上我可能会找我的妹妹Actually,mgonnacallmysister看看能不能和她呆一段时间andseeifIcanstaywithherforawhile.我觉得一个人生活不太好Idon'tthinkIshouldbeonmyownjustyet好吧到时我再去看你Okay.Thenllseeyouwhenever.定告诉大卫我真的很抱歉Oh,besureandtellDavehowsorryIam.他听了会很高兴的Hewillbesoglad.他真的挺喜欢你的He'sreallyfondofyou,youknow.接电♥话♥接电♥话♥接电♥话♥Oh,comeon,comeon,comeon,comeon.嘿妹妹是我凯伦Hey,sis.It'sKaren.帮我个忙马上到Domeafavorandgetyoursorryassoverto美景镇纪念医院来Fairviewmemorialhospitala.S.A,P.此刻我非常需要你老妹Ineedyoubig-time,kiddo.进来,Comein.嗨我找奥森霍吉我是彼得希奇Hi.mlookingforOrsonHodge.mPeterhickey.好的没问题我是他妻子布里Oh!Yes,ofcourse.Uh,mhiswifeBree.抱歉他出去了mafraidhe'soutrunningerrands,但他跟我说了你的事情buthe'stoldmeallaboutyou.是吗他说你是他的大学室友Oh?Yes.Hesaidyouwereroommatesbackincollege.是的我们的确是Yes,wewere.请坐Haveaseat.还有我父母的结婚50周年纪念日就到了Anyway,myparents'50thanniversaryiscomingup,我打算办个家庭聚会给他们一个惊喜andIthoughtdsurprisethemwithafamilyreunion.多体贴的儿子啊Whatathoughtfulsonyouare.那么你考虑过在哪里办了吗So,uh,haveyougivenanythoughttothevenue?是的我在湖边有套别♥堂♥Uh,yes.Ihaveasummerplaceupinlakepleasant.足够放下8张十人桌Ah,prettysuretheterracefitseighttablesoften.真是好地方啊My,that'sanicelittleterrace.我们一定会帮你办一个特别的聚会Well,wewillthrowyouapartysospecial到时你自己的结婚纪念也会想让我们办的thatyou'llwantustocateryouranniversary,too.实际上我还没结婚Uh,actually,mnotmarried.那让我们谈谈食物吧Oh.Well,let'stalkaboutfood.对于新客户来说Withanewclient,我通常会提前讨论可能的菜单whatIusuallydoisdiscusspossiblemenus,然后用最好的厨师andthenIhavemyverybestchef准备一顿晚餐样品prepareasampledinner.“晚餐样品”"Sampledinner"?我们不做什么晚餐样品的Wedon'tdosampledinners.但这是奥森的大学同学ButthisisOrson,scollegeroommate.而且绝对是个潜力股And.He'squitethecatch!等等Oh,waitaminute.你是想配对吗我可对相亲没什么好感Isthisasetup?BecauseIloatheblinddates.这个绝对不是Well,that,swhat'ssogreataboutit.其实它应该是个商务聚会Technically,it,sabusinessdinner.它有约会有的所有的优势Ithasallthepotentialupsideofadate而且不用交税whilestillbeingtax-deductible.好我会做为那男的做晚餐Fine.Iwillcookfortheman.但绝对不会打扮ButIamnotgoingtogetdressedup,不化妆不调情mnotgoingtoputonmakeup,andIamnotgoingtoflirt.他来的时候奥森已经走了HecamewhileOrsonwasout.我让他在我电♥话♥里留言了Ilethimrecordamessageonmyphone.奥森没见到你真的很遗憾老兄Orson,sorryImissedyou,buddy.下次再聚吧Catchyounexttime,okay?你有没有意识到早点拿出这个Yourealizeyoucouldhavejustledwiththis刚才的一大堆话都会省了andsavedusthiswholediscussion?天啊罗伯塔Jeez,Roberta!把那该死的东西拿走你可不是在酒吧里Putthatdamnthingout.You'renotinacornersaloon.那我这咖啡里的威士忌从哪来的Thenhowcomethere'sbourboninmycoffee?不用我叫护士来吧DoIhavetocallanurse?好吧我开了80英里的车来看你凯伦Fine.Idrove80milestoseeyou,Karen.你最好是快死了否则帮我把油钱付了Youbetterbedying,oryou'regonnapayformygas.我没死不过肯定有一个人希望我死掉mnotdying,butthere'ssomeonewhosurewishesIwas.那个让我躺在这里的混&hearts演♥Sonofabitchlandedmeinhere.你告诉我他在哪我帮你废了他Youtellmewheretofindhim.llcleanhisdamnclock.不我们得小心对付这个家伙No,we'vegottobecarefulwiththisguy.他很危险Mm.He'sdangerous.你上次也这么说那个佛罗里达的摩托骑士That'swhatyousaidaboutthatbikerinFlorida现在还只能依靠顿顿喝稀饭的那个家伙whonowhastopureeallhisfood.不说差点忘了都Hmm,nearlyforgotabouthim.那个假期真是有意思Thatwasafunvacation.那你到底要我&hearts汗♥嘛Sowhatdoyouneedmetodo?我出院时让我跟你呆在一块就行1.etmecomestaywithyouwhenIgetouttahere.那家伙以为我快不行了Thisguythinksmoutofcommission,我想将计就计andIwanttokeepitthatway.你可以帮我掩饰一下Andyoucanhelpmedosomedigging.你还帮那个电&hearts话♥公♥司♥工作那个Youstillworkforthatcellphonecompany?The.电♥话♥公♥司♥没错上帝保佑Teleshore.Yes,godhelpme.好调出他的记录看看发生什么Good.Pullhisrecordsandseewhatturnsup.他叫大卫城廉姆斯ThenameisDaveWilliams.你怎么知道他跟电♥话♥公♥司♥有联♥系♥Howdoyouknowhe'swithteleshore?我看了他的邮件Iwentthroughhismail.天你让我想起了妈妈God,youremindmeofmom.那你还需要什么Sowhatelseyouneed?你能帮我带一瓶冰啤酒吗Couldyousmugglemeinacoldbrewski?没人会不心疼家人的Boy,nooneknowsyoulikefamily.杰克逊是我Jackson?It'sme.在吗Hello?就这么做That'llwork.啊啊啊Aah!Aah!Aah!你还好吧Areyouokay?应该没事Ithinkso.那就好Good.那么你到底是谁Sowhothehellareyou?达茜你又是谁Darcy.Whothehellareyou?苏珊杰克逊的女朋友Susan,Jackson'sgirlfriend.他在酒吧里鬼混时Heneversaidanythingaboutagirlfriend从未说过他有女朋友是啊当男人跟荡♥妇♥鬼混时whenwehookedupattheclub.Well,whenguysgoslut-hunting,绝对不会提女朋友的事的theytendnottoplaythegirlfriendcard.你刚才管我叫荡♥妇♥Didyoujustcallmeaslut?!你今晚遇见了我男人现在又在他这里洗澡Youmettheguytonight.Nowyou'reinhisshower.我只是做合理的推测mjustdoingthemath.我要了披萨哦靠Gotthepizza.Oh.crap.那么我们分手后15分钟Sowebreakup,你就找了个代替品吗and15minuteslateryou'rewithsomeoneelse?比我想象的要快啊Yougotovermefast.还需要15分钟啊跟你无关msurprisedittook15minutes.Stayoutofthis.苏珊你怎么在这Susan,whyareyouhere?我本想跟你谈谈我们的未来Iwantedtotalkaboutourfuture.可你你说你没想要什么未来You.yousaidyoudidn'twantafuture.不过我开始改变上意了Well,1wasstartingtochangemymind,然后我出现时andthenIshowup却看见这位5英尺高的润装唇膏在洗澡andfind5feetoflipglossintheshower.我给你带了甜品不过你一口也甭想吃了1broughthotwings.You'renotgettingany.嗨这是为什么Hi.What,sthatfor?我本打算下一次你丈夫的乐队