Desperate Housewives《绝望的主妇》第五季第三集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

绝望的主妇前情提要Previouslyon.苏珊的新男友见了家人Susan'snewboyfriendmetthefamily.你是谁-你好Whoareyou?Hi.我是麦克她前夫mMike,theex-husband.Ah.加布的生活不再光环四耀Gaby'slifewasnolongerglamorous.这次很正式我什么都没了lt,sofficial.velosteverything.首先是钱其次我的身材First,ourmoney,thenmyfigure,现在是社会地位加布我们有家nowthelastthreadsofoursocialstanding.Gaby,wehaveahome,还有两个漂亮的女儿andwehavetwobeautifullittlegirls.丹妮尔的决定让人绝望Danielle'sdecisionwasdevastating.求你不要带走他本杰明是我的一切Please,justdon'ttakehim!BenjaminisallIhave.你还会有其它的You'rejustgonnahavetofindsomethingelse.伊迪的新任丈夫显出了阴暗面AndEdie'snewhusbandshowedadarkside.如果你跟伊迪道歉Iwouldconsideritapersonalfavor我会把它看作是给我的个人情面不ifyou'dapologizetoEdie.No.看起来像你这种女人Nowitseemstomethatawomanlikeyou会很珍惜仅有的朋友wouldliketokeepthefewfriendsthatshehasleft.你最好出去Ithinkyou'dbettergo.为什么送花给我-因为你有电脑Whywouldyoubringmeflowers?'Causeyougotacomputer,我需要查些伊迪老公的资料andIneedtofindoutsomestuffaboutEdie'shusband.本杰明卡茨6岁Benjaminkatzwas6yearsold,他有很多事情不明白andtherewerealotofthingshedidn'tunderstand.他不明白为什么一直称之为“妈妈”的人Hewasn'tsurewhythewomanyoucall"mommy"并不总是自己的妈妈isn,talwaysyourmother.或是一直陪伴他的那个人Orhowthemanwhowasalwaysthereforhim怎么会突然间被带走couldsuddenlybetakenaway.或者只是开车外出Orwhyyoucouldgoforaride.却永远不再回去Andnevercomebackhome.是的有很多事情Yes,therewerealotofthings本杰明都不明白Benjaminkatzcouldn'tunderstand,也没有人急于andnooneseemedinahurry跟他解释toexplainthem.他们终于来了Heretheycome,finally.布里事情刚开始会有点奇怪Youknow,Bree,thingswillbealittlestrangeatfirst,拜托好好表现soplease,beonyourbestbehavior.我不需要你告诉我技巧Idonotrequirelecturesontact.我理解我们太想本杰了Iknow.It'sjustthatwe'vemissedbenjysomuch,而且久经波折andit'stakensomanyolivebranches他才回来奥森我清楚今日来之不易togetthemtocomeback.mawareofwhat'satstake,Orson.很好所以如果你有责怪事情的冲动Good.Soifyoufeelanimpulsetocriticizesomething,一定要忍♥住you'llkeepthethoughttoyourself.你们好Hi!我已经开始忍♥了vealreadystarted.丹妮尔衣服真漂亮Danielle!Whatadelightfullyethnicensemble.你们好妈妈奥森你好丹妮尔Hey,mom,Orson.Hi,Danielle.这是我老公里奥Oh,Iwanttomeetmyhusband1.eo.跟你们见面真高兴里奥见到你很开心lt,snicetofinallymeetbothofyouinperson.1.ovelytomeetyou,1.eo.这小家伙是谁啊Hey,who'sthislittlelinebacker?你好本杰还记得我吗-不记得Hi,benjy.Rememberme?I'mnotsure.没关系所以你们要过来看看That'sokay.That'swhatthisvisitisfor,right?了解下对方Gettingtoknoweachother.你这周末都会在这了是吧Nowwehaveyouforthewholeweekend,right?是的整整三天Yep,wholethreedays.太好了因为我们做了很多安排Oh,good.'Causewe'vemadelotsofplans.我们打算带你去马戏团We'regonnatakeyoutothecircus如果你♥爸♥妈没意见的话丹妮尔我能去吗ifit'sokaywithyourfolks.CanIgo,Danielle?”丹妮尔"他直接叫你“丹妮尔”"Danielle"?Didhejustcallyou"Danielle"?那就是我的名字啊Well,itismyname.这个我知道还是我起的Yes,mawareofthat.Ipickedit.我只是觉得mjustconcerned人们会把这看成不敬peoplemightviewitasasignOCum,disrespect“人们“你是说你自己吧By"people,"youmeanyou?里奥拿了这么多行李啊Uh.1.eo.1.ookatalltheluggageyouhavehere.我来帮忙-谢谢llgiveyouahandhere.Okay.Oh,thanks.我说清楚点Um.letmebeclear.我可不想让他叫我“布里”Idonotwanthimcallingme"Bree."不用担心我告诉过他了叫你“外婆”Oh,don'tworry.Itoldhimtocallyou"granny."是的尽管本杰明卡茨只有6岁Yes,Benjaminkatzwasonly6yearsold,他都知道butevenhecouldunderstand这会是thiswasgoingtobe.一个漫长的周末AIongweekend.孩子们都知道Anychildwilltellyou有游乐场的地方thatwhereyoufindaplayground,也会有youwillalsofind.恶霸Bullies.小霸王会带来伤痛Youngtyrantswhobringpain.Aah!惊吓Intimidation.Aah!和暴♥力♥Andviolence.受到这种欺凌时孩子们会怎么做Whatcanchildrendointhefaceofsuchtorment?当然有个明显的答案Well,thereisoneobviousoption,但不是每个孩子都会跑回家找妈妈butnoteverychildiseagertogorunninghometomother.宝贝Ugh.Hey.Hon.公园里怎么样等等Howwasthepark?Wait.Holdon.妈妈刚发现了第一根白发Mommyjustfoundherfirstgrayhair.把我拔下来从此不要再提它Ineedyoutograbit,yankitandneverspeakofitagain.看你的脸Oh.1.ookatyourface.被抓伤rIt,sscratched.发生什么事了Whathappened?没什么Nothing.衣服也破了Andyourshirtisripped.这周已经第二次了That'sthesecondtimethisweek.有人欺负你吗Issomeonepickingonyou?是谁Whoisit?是不是杰弗里海克森那个吃纸的怪小孩IsitJeffreyhixon,thatweirdkidwhoeatspaper?或者蒂米克罗利IsitTimmycrowley?他妈妈昨晚在车里睡的Hismomsleptinhercarlastnight.谁知道发生什么了Whoknowswhat'sgoingonthere?是不是你生口时Isitthatboyfromyourbirthday,欺负小马的那个男孩theonewhosluggedthepony?宝贝我知道你不开心Oh,sweetie.Iknowyou,reupset,如果说出来感觉会好多的butyou'llfeelbetterifyoutalkaboutit.什么事都可以跟我说我是你妈妈嘛Andthere'snothingyoucan'ttellme.myourmommy.我想跟爸爸说Iwannatalktodaddy.哦可以Oh.Okay.我们这就给他打电♥话♥We,llgivehimacall.你不会找到第二辆保持的这么好的车了Okay!You'renotgonnafindanotheroneinthiscondition.这辆车很棒Imean,thecarisaclassic.娜比拉你感觉怎久样Well,whatdoyouthink,nabila?我喜欢它但是不爱它Eh.Ilikeit.Idon,tloveit知道吗Tellyouwhat.加布和我想给我们的车找到好的新归宿GabyandIwanttofindourcaranicehome.所以我决定再少一千Sompreparedtoknockagrandoff.你认为怎么样再减五千我们可以谈谈Whatdoyousay?Isayknockoff5grand,andwe,lltalk.别这样已经比标的价格低了Oh,comeon.It'salreadypricedwaybelowbluebook,更不用说这车还是崭新的才不是崭新的nottomentionit'smint.Thisisnotmint.你看到没有保险杠这里有点凹进去了Hey,canyounotseethisdinginthebumperhere?这辆车能在5秒内从0发动到60Okay,thiscargoeszeroto60in5seconds.某人说“噢凹陷”的这段时间Bythetimesomeonesays,"wow,ading/'就已经开到下个郡了四千成交you'reinthenextcounty.4grand,yougotyourselfadeal.成交Deal.什么不不不行What?No!No,nodeal!这位不开车的盲人没跟我商量Thenondrivingblindguydoesnotspeakforme.失陪下Wouldyouexcuseus?加布我们想方设法卖♥♥♥车♥已经一个月了Gaby,we'vebeentryingtomovethiscarforamonth.我们需要现金Weneedthecash.天哪我们不卖♥♥就不行吗God,isn'tthereanywaywecankeepit?这车是我仅有的东西Imean,thiscar,sthelastthingIhave可以告诉别人“我比你强”thattellstheworld,"mbetterthanyou."抱歉宝贝我们要付按揭Sorry,babe.Wehavetopaythemortgage.我们付不起比别人强的资本了Wecan'taffordtobebetterthananyone.给Here.好好对车Takegoodcareofher.实际上这车不是买♥♥给我们的给保姆的Actually,it,snotforus.Ifsforournanny.那话真伤人Okay,thatonehurt.嘿你挖出X先生什么料了没Hey.Sowhat'dyoudiguponMr.X.?你指大卫吗YoumeanDave?Yeah.还没什么两天了怎么可能Nothingyet.It'sbeentwodays.Whatgives?刚开始我搜“大卫威廉姆斯"时Well,forstarters,whenIsearchfor"DaveWilliams/1有一堆搜索结果Igetamillionandahalfhits.要缩小范围我需要更多信息Tonarrowitdown,mgonnaneedmoreinformation,像他出生地毕业学校likewherehewasborn,wherehewenttoschool.是否服过役之类相信我Didheservetimeinthemilitary?Oh,believeme,如果他服过役的话也是在州立监狱ifheservedtime,itwasinthestatepen.大卫你好Hey!Dave!早上好女士们Morning,ladies.恶心的小杂种你好吗Sickbastard.Howareyou?你好凯瑟琳Hey,Katherine,喷水器今天工作还IE常吧yoursprinklersystemworkingokaynow?很好谢谢1.ikeacharm.Andthanksagain.以前从来不工作的我听到了veneverbeenabletogetthattowork.Oh,Ihearya.要修理那些东西你需要有工程学学位Toprogramthosethings,youneedanengineeringdegree.是吗你有吗Oh,yeah?Yougotoneofthose?总之很感谢你Anyway.Reallyappreciateit.保重Takecare.我就是不明白Oh.Ijustcan'tgothroughwiththis.他对我这么好He.hejuststrikesmeassonice.是不是要我That'ssupposedtocomfortme,做个你跟男人相处的记录givenyourtrackrecordwithmen?凯瑟琳拜托Katherine,please.这人来者不善Theguyisbadnews.我还没证据但我有预感Ican'tproveit,butIfeelitinmybones.我不能什么都不做就这么眼睁睁地AndIcan'tsitarounddoingnothingwhenIknow看着伊迪每天早上在他身边醒来thatEdie'swakingupeverymorningnexttohim.如果有人知道我们在做这个Ifanyonefindsoutwe'redoingthis.没人会知道Noonewillknow.她们一旦知道说不定会感谢我们Andwhentheydo,they'llprobablythankus.我告诉你那家伙一定有什么企图Becausemtellingya,thisguyisuptosomething.清理旧车♥库♥致以深切的慰问Cleaningouttheoldgarage.Mydeepestsympathy.大卫适应的还不错吧Hey,Dave.You.yousettlinginokay?他们终于把我的平板电视送来了Yeah.Yeah.Well,theyfinallydeliveredmyflatscreen.没它我简直没法活它有65英寸Iwasdyingwithoutit.Imean,itis65inches.不错哦Wow.Sweet!现在在直播决赛你应该去看看Hey,w.theplay-offsareon.Youshouldcomecheckitout.就像是在现场一样It'slikebeingrightonthefield.勒奈特说了Yeah.Um,1.ynette'sreallybustingmyhump我要清理这个地方所以aboutclearingthisplaceout,so.过会可以再去Well,maybelater.也没开始多久Thegamedoesn'tstartforacouplehours.我们可以订些大的三明治Wecouldorderoneofthosegiantsandwiches.抱歉你也知道Sorry,but,youknow,checkbackwithme,这些东西多恼人好makesureIsurvivethiswholething.Okay.大卫你好Hi,Dave.你好Hi.汤姆Hey,Tom?怎么了Yeah?怎么有两堆东西Whyaretheretwopiles?那边是不要的Well,that'sthepilethatmthrowingaway,这些是要留着的and,uh,thisisthestuffIstillneed.你需要1986年未启封的爬山装置吗Youneedunopenedmountainclimbingequipmentfrom1986?你不爬山的Youdon,tclimbmountains.还没也许某天会这事说不准谁知道呢Notyet,butsomeday.Imean,youknow.whoknows?我知道从浴缸里出来你都会气喘吁吁的Iknow.Yougetwindedjustclimbingoutofthetub.你不会去爬山的You'renevergonnaclimbamountain.你还知道自己永远不会做什么吗Youknowwhatelseyou'renevergonnado?学德语自己造啤酒或者1.earnGerman,makeyourownbeeror.弄个8分钟的刹车系统Have8minuteabs.拜托这东西不能扔扔了它都扔了Comeon,nottheab-tastic.Tossit,andkeeptossing直到这个两车型车&hearts库&hearts溶得下-辆车untilthis2-cargaragecanholdatleastonecar.别告诉我你把电吉他也要扔了Pleasetellmeyou'renotgettingridofyourbass.没必要留着Nopointinhangingontoit.加入乐队是我永远不会做的另一件事Imean,beinginabandisjustonemorethingllneverdo.麦克搬走前Beforehemoved,MikeandI,我们会在每周六小聚下真是给你说WeusedtogettogetheronSaturdaysandjust.jam.那感觉很好Man,thatwasfun.你知道吗我会打架子鼓Youknow,Iplaythedrums.或许有时间我们可以聚聚MaybeyouandIshouldjamsometime.我认为我们可以Iguesswecould.今天晚些时候如何Maybeevenlatertoday?Just.好好给我两三个小时Yeah!Yeah,youknowwhat?Justgivemeacouplehours.我要把这些”老伙计，藏起来过会见Igottastashtheseold"playboys."llseeyoulater.记住不要咄咄逼人地问伊迪Nowremember,youcan'tjuststartgrillingEdiel她会怀疑我们要旁敲侧击orshe'llgetsuspicious.Wehavetobesubtle.都听你的lljustfollowyourlead.好Okay.抱歉我迟到了Sorrymlate.这主意真好Whatagreatidea!好久没这样了跟女孩子们一起吃午餐Ihaven'tdonethisinages.Afunlunchwiththegirls.是啊很有意思Yeah,it,sfun.大卫在哪出生的WherewasDaveborn?什么What?我们刚才在想Wewerejustwondering他在哪里学的那些礼仪wherehegothisgreat.manners.他的行为举止He'sgotthatgentlebearing很像南方的绅士ofa.Southerngentleman.不他来自中西部某个地方No,he,sfromsomewhereinthemidwest“某个地方”"Somewhere"?你不知道你老公的家乡Youdon'tknowwhereyourhusbandgrewup?他给我看过他小时候家里的照片Well,heshowedmeapictureofhischildhoodhomeonce.里面有头母牛我没什么兴趣接着看了Ithadacowinit.Ilostinterest.老实说伊迪你怎么能连这些都不了解Honestly,Edie,howcanyoubemarriedtoaguy就嫁给他了呢andnotknowthesethings?知道吗Youknowwhat?What?我觉得该点菜了我们的服务员在哪Ithinkit'stimetoorder.Where,sourwaitress?我就来梅菲尔夫人llberightwithyou,Mrs.Mayfair.没关系黛比慢慢来Oh,noproblem,Debbie.Youtakeyourtime.她真是个好女孩Sheissuchasweetgirl.在攒钱上大学She'ssavingmoneyforcollege.说到这大卫在哪读的大学Oh.Speakingofwhich.WheredidDavegotocollege?黛比快点我们等不急了Comeon,Debbie!Whilewe'reyoung!我不清楚Idon'tknow.没关系那他的中学呢Allright.Whatabouthighschool?你为什么老问我这种问题Whyareyouaskingmeallthesequestions?我只是觉得你对那个人什么都不了解Ijustthinkit,soddthatyou,remarriedtosomeguy.就嫁给他太奇怪了Youdon'tknowanythingabouthim.但我们知道事实他人很好Otherthanthefactthathe'salovelyman.他帮我修好了喷水器He.Fixedmysprinkler.我不想再谈论这些了Idon'twanttotalkaboutthisanymore.我要去洗手间mgoingtotheladies'room.你的旁敲侧击没什么结果Well,yoursubtleapproachgotusnowhere.我跟这个宝贝在一起很久了I'vebeenthroughalotwiththisbaby.真不舍得卖♥♥掉她但你知道Ihatetosellher,but,youknow,我的新跑车就来了不再需要它了withmynewsportscarcoming,Idon'treallyneedit.这就是了Yeah.Heresheis.看起来如何How'sitlook?还好你眼睛看不到Begladyou'reblind.我们要实际点Wehavetobepractical.我们只是需要载乘的工具而已Wejustneedsomethingtogetusfrompoint"a"topoint"b."我们买♥♥了它行了让我来搞定Nowlet'sbuythething.Okay,justletmehandlethis.怎久样要买♥♥吗So.dowehaveasale?我不确定安德鲁1don'tknow,Andrew.我是说我们喜欢它但并不爱它Imean.welikeit.Wedon'tIoveit.是啊没人会买♥♥这种车还爱得要死Yeah,well,noonebuysacarlikethisandlovesit.只是廉价而已你不会找到第二辆了It'sallabouttheprice.Andyou'renotgonnadobetter.是啊至于那个价钱Yeah,aboutthatprice.你要降价你看这些压痕You'regonnahavetodropit.Imean,lookatailthesedents.是啊还少了三个毂盖Yeah,it'salsomissingthreehubcaps,还有天线挂钩andit'sgotahangerforanantenna.坦白说就是一堆废铁Fulldisclosure.It'sapieceofcrap.你要不要买♥♥Youwantitornot?告诉你Well,lltellyouwhat.因为我和你妈妈是好朋友SinceyourmomandIaredearfriends,如果你肯少三百块我就买♥♥下lltakeitoffyourhandsifyouknockoff$300.因为你和我妈妈是好朋友Andsincemymomandyouaredearfriends,我才没向你比中指llresisttheurgetoflipyouthebird.安德鲁Andrew!如果你不肯降价的话我们马上就走Unlessyoulowerthisprice,we'rewalking.rightnow.再见Seeya.我说到做到Imeanit.真的走了Thisisit.好Fine.好Fine.好吧少200怎公样我们付现金Okay,fine.Knockoff$200,andwe'llgiveyoucash.不那少一百No.$100.不那那No.Wh.那你至少洗洗车吧Willyouatleasthaveitwashed?我会倒一下烟灰缸只能这样llemptytheashtray.Finaloffer.靠Damnyou.你又赢Oh!Youbeatmeagain!我诅咒你还有你高超的棋艺Curseyouandyourdiabolicalcheckersprowess.好了奥森Allright,Orson.别在沙发上和他打闹Don'toverexcitehimontheupholstery.丹妮尔我做一个陪衬菜So,Danielle,whatwouldyoulikemetomakeasasidedish为你们接风洗尘怎么样foryourwelcomehomeparty?什么都可以只要它能配嫩牛肉里脊Icandoanythingsolongasitcomplementsbeeftenderloin.其实我们不吃肉我们是素食主义者Actually,wedon'teatmeat.We,revegetarians.什么啊本杰明也是Excuseme?SoisBenjamin.从什么时候开始Oh.Well.sincewhen?自从我意识到肉是居♥杀♥下的产物SinceIrealizedthatmeatwasaby-productofmurder.如果我买♥♥的是一只自杀的猪的大排Woulditbemoreacceptable那你们能接受吗ifIshoppedforasuicidalporkloin?布里这没什么大不了的Bree,it'snobigdeal.我来做一个美味的蜷菇饭lljustmakeaniceRisotto.这不是晚饭的问题Thisisn'taboutdinner.而是她疯狂的自♥由♥主义思想Thisisabouthernuttyliberalpolitics对我们的外孙的营养有害gettinginthewayofourgrandson'snutrition.吃干酪豆子豆腐也能得到足够的营养Hegetsalltheproteinheneedsfromcheeseandbeansandtofu.这不仅仅是营养问题Well,thisisn'tjustaboutnutrition.你想让他在学校被嘲笑吗Doyouwanthimtobeteasedatschool每天午餐盒里都装满豆腐everytimehepullstofuoutofhislunchbox?事实上那不成问题Actually,thatwon'tbeanissue.丹妮尔在家里自己教他Danielleishomeschoolinghim.你说什么Excuseme?你教他You'reteachinghim?是的你有什么意见吗Yes.Itakeityouhaveanopinion?不让他去正规的学校Soinsteadofsendinghimtoaproperschool,而是自己在家教他you'regonnagivehimthebenefit让他像你一样科科拿C他才六岁ofyourstraight"c"average?Hey,he,sonly6,就已经有三年级的阅读水平了andhe'salreadyreadingatathirdgradelevel.明年他的水平就超过你了那怎么办Well,whathappensnextyearwhenheovertakesyou?布里注意言语记得吧Uh,Bree.ahem.Bestbehavior,remember?我很抱歉但是让我坐着Iamsorry,butamIsupposedtositby看她毒害她儿子的身体和灵魂我办不到whileshedegradeshisbodyandhismind?好Fine.你尽管批评我的教育方式Criticizemyparentingallyouwant.我不介意Idon'tcare,因为现在不是你说了算becauseyoudon'tgettodecidehowhe'sraisedanymore.我是他妈妈mhismother.哦对了在日历上做个记号♥吧Oh!Andbytheway,Markyourcalendars,七年之后的下个星期六'causesevenyearsfromnextSaturday.是本杰明的犹太男孩成人仪式Benjamin1Sbarmitzvah.是不是很棒大卫把鼓搬过来和我一起演奏Hey!Hey.Isn'tthiscool?Davebroughthisdrumsoversowecouldjam.你丈夫很棒Yourboyisprettygood.想想我们有贝斯手鼓手Yeah,andwefiguredoutwegotbass,wegotdrums.麦克会弹吉他奥森会键盘Mikeplaysguitar.IthinkOrsonplayskeyboards.知道我们能做什么吗知道但我希望是我想错了YouseewhereIamgoingwiththis?1do,butmhopingmwrong.我们准备组成车♥库♥乐队We'regonnastartagarageband!看来我没想错等我们练习好了AndIwasn't!Maybeifwegetgoodenough,我们可以演出几场wecanevenget,like,acoupleofgigs.一定很有趣演出你刚是说演出吗Howfunwouldthatbe?"Gigs'?Didyoujustsay"gigs"?我们只是需要多一点时间练习Nowall'sweneedisalittletimetopractice.一个星期几个晚上还有周末Afewnightsaweek,someweekends.你说什么What?Well,yeah,只是练到我们在节奏上能合拍justuntilwegettherhythmsectionalldialedin.好啊我要提醒一下你已经有的几场演出Okay,Ineedtodialyouintosomegigsyoualreadyhave,经营一家饭店当一个好父亲和好丈夫whicharerunningarestaurant,beingahusbandandafather.你不是刚说过AndIthoughtyouweretheonewhosaid你需要多花些时间在家庭上吗youwantedtospendmoretimewithyourfamily.但是我们能到俱乐部演出Butwecouldplayclubs.我是说他玩的很开心勒奈特