TheSimpsons《辛普森一家》第三十五季第十三集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
辛普森一家第三十五季第十三集快来我们崭新的4D影院吧人类学博物馆恐龙的纪♥元♥结束了Theageofdinosaurswasover.两万年以前20,000yearsago,冰河世纪人类面临着许多威胁如致命捕食者IceAgehumanslivedunderconstantthreatfromdeadlypredators.寒冷的气温Freezingtemperatures.和臭味Andsmells.原始的味道Primordial!我们的祖先想要生存下去需要时刻警惕着Forourancestors,survivalrequiredconstantvigilance.常青台家庭妇女协会草坪上的玩具还在等待你的回复就算最小的侵扰也可能致命Eventheslightestdistractioncouldprovedeadly.说草坪上不许放玩具是啥意思WhatdoyoumeanIhavetotakethetoysoffourlawn?我都没听说过还有个家庭妇女协会1didn'tevenknowwehadahomeowner'sassociation.在现代社会中真正的危险是不多见的Inourmodernworld,truedangerisrare.但冰河世纪留下的本能还在甚至进化了Yet,ourIceAgeinstinctsremain.everonhighalert.行等你把圣诞装扮下了Fine.llpickupthetoys我就收拾玩具你且给我等着吧whenyoutakeyourChristmasdecorationsdown,i.E.never!马姬孩子们在这学习冰河世纪呢Marge,thechildrenaretryingtolearnfactsabouttheIceAge.不好意思Sorry.Sorry.老久以前的时期跟现在有啥关系Asifthedistantpasthasanythingtodowithus.两万年以前这根本没有可吃的Thereisliterallynothingtoeathere.你知道世界上还有些孩子Youknow,therearesomechildreninthisworld根本都没饭-没意思whodon'thaveenough.-Bored!巴仔来好事了Bart,incrediblenews!你记得我爸在体育场找了个工作吧Youknowhowmydadgotajobatthesportsarena?最近他们在换地板Theywerechangingthefloor,然后他被困在了冰球场andhegottrappedbetweenthehockeyice和篮球场之间困了两天andthebasketballcourtfortwodays.刚刚你二次运球了吧我感受到了Okay,that,sadoubledribble.Ifeltit!后来他决定不起诉了Whenheagreednottosue,官方就送了他四张极度暴♥力♥组合演唱会的票theygavehimfourticketstoseeViolenciaGiganteinconcert!我的天Oh,myGod!你说他们会唱那首嗑药的歌♥吗Doyouthinkthey'lldooneoftheirsongsaboutdrugs?只要唱那首怎么把人脑袋按进马桶的歌♥就行Hey,aslongastheydotheoneaboutdrowningguysinprisontoilets.“水刑之歌♥""BanoMuerte"!我可以去看演唱会吗SocanIgototheconcert?不好说你太小了被人挤到怎么办1don'tknow.You'reawfullyyoung.Whatifyougetjostled?我虽然年轻但很有责任心Yes,myoung,butmresponsible.真的吗Really?巴仔快跑Bart,saveyourself.好的呢Okay.你得让我去看演出Yougottoletmegototheshow!他们用西班牙语说唱特有教育意义TheyrapinSpanish.It'seducational!话说妈咪为您的育儿选择提供依据Say,Mom,toinformyourparentingchoices,不如听听他们的一首歌♥参考一下whydon'tyoulistentooneoftheirsongs?好主意啊妹妹Greatidea,sis.肯定没有很冒犯吧他基本上什么都没说Well,itcan'tbethatoffensive.Hebarelysaysanything.呵呵他放的是纯净版Ha!He,splayingthecleanversion.这是原版还带歌♥词翻译的Here'stheoriginal.Andthetranslationofthelyrics.她不需要听到或看到这些Shedoesn'tneedtohearandseethat!哦天哪我的天哪我的上帝啊妈妈咪呀Oh,my.Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod!Diosmo!你绝对不可以去那个音乐会我禁止你去There'snowayyou'regoingtothatconcert.Iforbidit!你为彳t么出♥卖♥♥♥我Whydidyousellmeout?好问题为什么呢脑袋是融化的狗狗玩具的Greatquestion.Why'dIdoit,MutilatedMalibuStacey被肢解的的马莉布史黛西withmelted-ondogtoyforhead?范浩腾家我是顶梁柱VanHoutenresidence.Breadwinnerspeaking.露安这不正是我想对话的年轻女士吗1.uann.JusttheyoungwomanIwantedtotalkto.我真的好希望你能说服我妈Iwasreallyhopingyoucouldconvincemymom让我和苗浩斯一起去听那场音乐会thatit'sokayformetogotothisconcertwithMilhouse.真抱歉巴仔Oh,msorry,Bart.肯定是理解有误了Theremusthavebeenamisunderstanding.你没有被邀请You'renotinvited.可是苗浩斯说我被邀请rButMilhousesaidIwas.那可是在你威胁我儿子Thatwasbeforeyoucoercedmyson在田野考察途中表现糟糕之前intomisbehavingonhisfieldtrip.可你不明白我真的好想去Butyoudon'tunderstand.Ireallywanttogo.我的育儿小组研讨了最有同情心的方法Myparentinggroupworkshoppedthemostcompassionateway让我说出以下内容formetophrasethis.巴仔你是个坏朋友你无可救药Bart,you'reabadfriend,andyou'rebeyondhope.祝好Bewell.露安说你什么1.uannsaidwhattoyou?!说我是个坏朋友说我无可救药Thatmabadfriend,andmbeyondhope.她竟然敢我们让她这么多次Howdareshe!Afterallthetimeswe'velether"我真的要说出口了mjustgonnasayit-任由她家的傻儿子在我们家犯傻dweebofasondweebitupinourhouse.老是让我看他跳太空步Alwaysmakingmewatchhimmoonwalk,要是我不拍手他就躲进厕所andifIdon'tclap,hehidesinthebathroom.没有人能取消邀请我儿子去他不准去的音乐会Nooneuninvitesmysontotheconcerthe'snotallowedtogoto.起来Getup!你和我两个人要去跟范浩腾一家小聊一下YouandIaregoingtogohavealittlechatwiththeVanHoutens.让你♥爸♥来带孩子Askyourfathertocomewatchthekids.怎么这么久你爬过来的啊Tookyoulongenough.Whatdidyoudo,crawlhere?我得冒雨走过来Ihadtowalk.intherain.Ooh!好吧好吧你是真英雄Yeah,yeah,you'rearealhero.你有哪怕一秒考虑过你的话会让巴仔怎么想吗DidyouthinkforonesecondhowyourwordswouldmakeBartfeel?我说的都是事实马姬EverythingIsaidwastrue,Marge.完了HOo,boy.是吗-开始了Wasit?-Oh,herewego.你知道巴仔什么样YouknowhowBartis.不我不知道No.Idon't.不如你来告诉我我儿子到底什么样Whydon'tyoutellmehowmysonis?糟糕真的要来了Oh,man.-Itissoon.巴仔和苗浩斯以前有过一些问题BartandMilhousehavehadtheirissuesinthepast,但我们都以为巴仔能学好butweallthoughtBartwouldgetbetter.他越来越恶劣了马姬这是事实He'sgettingworse,Marge.It'sjustafact.听到没侯默咱儿子越来越坏了Didyouhearthat,Homer?Oursonisgettingworse.真是太好了That'ssogoodtoknow.我能来降降温吗Um,ifIcouldjustturntheheatdownalittlebithere.马姬我觉得露安想表达的是IthinkwhatLuannistryingtosay,Marge,没人认为你教子无方isthatnobodythinksthatyou'reabadmother.教子无方Bad.mother?!马姬是地球上最好的母亲Margeisthegreatestmotheronearth.她在母性方面远远超过你们这些Shemotherscirclesaroundyoufreaky,怪异依恋式育儿同床共浴的疯子attachmentparenting,co-sleeping,co-bathingpsychos!走吧这些人明显1.et'sgo.Itsclearthesepeoplehave恨咱儿子入骨anall-consumingvendettaagainstourson.我需要你给巴仔买♥♥四张音乐会门票IneedyoutobuyBartfourconcerttickets.地板区座位前十排无论花多少钱Onthefloor,firsttenrows.1don'tcarehowmuchtheycost我以为你不想让巴仔去I.Ithoughtyoudidn'twantBarttogo?那女的要战那就战Ifthatwomanwantsafight,she'sgoingtogetone.工、舜口没票还是没有Nothing.Stillnothing.座位捕手暴风破解搜索选择付款没没有Nope.Nada.没N-Nope.你替巴仔买♥♥到好座位了没DidyoufindamazingseatsforBart?没呢我在傻瓜票务笨蛋买♥♥票Notyet.AndmcheckingStubDork,SeatDweeb,白♥痴♥找票场馆弱智上都看了TicketChump,VenueIdiot-别放弃不然咱儿子就完了Don'tgiveup,oroursondies!同龄人社交层面的完了Socially,amongsthispeers.按♥摩♥第30排还不够好Row30.Notgoodenough.没票还是没有Nothing.Stillnothing.手指抽筋了Fingercramping.疼痛适中需要按♥摩♥一下Painmoderate,but.worthmentioning.你买♥♥到票了Yougotthetickets!是一张包含了前排俱乐部入场票的VIP套餐lt,saVIPpackagewithadmissiontotheFrontRowClub.看贝克汉姆家的小孩在俱乐部包间里吐呢1.ook.Here'savideooftheBeckhamkidsthrowingupinit.哦侯默你真的做到了巴仔有救了Ooh,Homenyouactuallydidit!Bartissaved!我想演唱会之前我们可以先在我家玩预热游戏SoIfigurebeforetheconcert,we'llpre-gameatmypad.备点零食金鱼饼干椒盐棒饼Takesomeedibles-Goldfish,pretzelnubs.好耶-爽啦Allright!-Fire!太酷了Sodope.筹备行程呐朋友们真不错1.ookingforwardtothebigshow,guys?Goodforyou.到时候我会从我坐的地方Hey,ifIcanseeyourseatsfromwheremsitting-前排俱乐部跟你们挥手的theFrontRowClubllshootyouawave.前排俱乐部TheFrontRowClub?!那可是预留给业内大佬的特等票That'saperkusuallyreservedforindustryinsiders.我想请你们三个一起来Iwantedtoaskyouthreetocomewith,但你们肯定会拒绝butmsureyou'dsay"no."你们应该这么做You'redoingtherightthing,跟好朋友苗浩斯在一起才是正确的选择stickingwithyourbuddyMilhouse.很难拒绝但这将磨炼你们的意志It'shard,butthat'showyoubuildcharacter.别啊你们不能因为座位更好就跟他跑No!Youguyscan'tbailjust'causehehaswaybetterseats.苗浩斯不要因为我们走了而感到难过Milhouse,don'tfeelbadaboutthebailing.要为这几天我假装喜欢你Justfeelhappythatforafewdays,而感到高兴才对1pretendedtolikeyouforyourtickets.我准备好接受我的“哈哈”了lltakemy"haw-haw"now.妈妈你还好吗Mom,areyouokay?我超级好mbetterthanokay.前排俱乐部我花重金证明了谁才是更好的母亲Ispentmoneywedon'thavetoshowwho'sthebettermother.真好看接下来为我做件事吧1.oveit.Whydon'tyoudosomethingforme?深吸一口气Takeadeepbreathin.果然和我预想的一样Oh,boy.Yeah,that'swhatIthought.妈妈你被你的原始脑控制了Mom,yourprimitivebrainisrunningtheshowrightnow.你的“幼崽“这么说你能明白的话受到威胁OneOfyour"cubs,"ifyouwill,hasbeenthreatened,但是一种21世纪形式的威胁butina21st-centurysortofway.作为回应你的身体进入了应激状态Inresponse,yourbodyhasenteredastateofarousal俗称”战斗或逃跑”反应called"fight-or-flight."我没有应激这些都是我正常状态下的血管mnotinastate.Thesearemycalmveins.记住你可以利用更高级的大脑功能Remember,youhaveaccesstohigherbrainfunction.闻着昂贵的香薰So,breatheintheexpensivecandle.放轻松.exhalethetension.没有威胁Thereisnothreat.你的崽都很安全Yourcubsaresafe.吸入清晨机场香薰Smellthe"FreshMorningAirport"?恶Ew.没有威胁巴仔好好的Mmm,there'snothreat.Bartisokay.对咯That'sright.不用在战斗和逃跑之间抉择Noneedtofightorflee.没有威胁Nothreat.一点都没有Nothreatatall.春田小学家长会7:00法定监护人别掺和韦根夫人拉尔戈先生普林斯校长佩顿女士辛普森夫人胡佛小姐我们有一个Wehaveamotion来自忧心忡忡的家长fromaconcernedparenttobanallbooks关于撤卜图书馆所有坠落女性图书的动议about"fallenwomen"fromthelibrary.救救我们的儿子动议被否决So,motiondenied.佩顿女士我儿子不在这念了mpullingmyboyfromthisschool.也不必这么搞Itdidn'thavetogodownlikethis.辛普森夫人我动议因霸凌我儿子ImovetodismissMargeSimpsonfromthisboard将马姬辛普森逐出董事会forbullyingmyson.霸凌你想和我掰扯霸凌吗Bullying?Youwanttotalkaboutbullying?她故意让我儿子受尽排挤Shewentoutofherwaytomakemysonfeelexcluded,低人一等lessthanandothered.最坏的也不过如此了That'stheworstthingtherebe.看她儿子1.ookatwhathersondid对三年级西区故事作业干了什么好事tothethird-gradeproductionofWestSideStory.史在家你就这么教育他的吗That'sthekindofbehavioryoulearninthehome.你在对我家指手画脚吗You'recriticizingmyhome?你们去过她那个脏乱窝吗Youeverbeentoherdustyhouse?你家对吸尘器过敏吗Youthinknatureabhorsavacuum?学学怎么说不吧马姬1.ookuptheword"no,"Marge.信我对孩子有好处Trustme,itcandowonderswithchildren.你倒很会对虱子梳说是呢Well,youcouldlearnhowtosayyes,toalicecomb.这个人在快易买♥♥购物Shegrocery-shopsattheKwik-E-Mart小鱼软糖可不算蛋白质SwedishFisharenotaprotein.至少巴仔喜欢我做的午餐AtleastBartlikesmylunches.苗浩斯可是食堂换餐最频繁的那个Milhouseisthemostfrequentlunchtraderinthecafeteria.这是胡说Thatisalie.我额外准备一份午餐给苗浩斯IpackanextralunchforMilhouse因为觉得他很可怜becauseIfeelsorryforhim.好了现在情绪太过饱满Okay,alotofbigfeelings.狗屁我喜欢混乱1dolovemess.这事不算完Thisisn'tover.绝对不可能姐妹Notbyalongshot,sister.仍待冠名体育馆今晚演出极度暴♥力♥组合天啊看苗浩斯带来的都是谁Oh,myGod,lookwhoMilhousehadtobring.幼儿园小孩Kindergartners.你说我们要去看可可瓜YousaidweweregoingtoseeCocomelon.体育馆停车场晚上好女士你为何来此Evening,ma'am.Whatbringsyouhere?我猜是来停车Parking,Ibet.我们是前排俱乐部的We'reintheFrontRowClub.我想服务也包括停车Ibelieveparkingisincluded?极度暴♥力♥组合前排俱乐部我们不接受纸质门票Oh,wedon'tacceptpapertickets.你要用应用-什么应用Youhavetousetheapp.-Whatapp?那个说你需要用的应用Theappitsaysyou'rerequiredtouse,这张纸上的内容不是门票righthereonthispieceofpaperthatisnotaticket.侯默什么都管的小胡子先生说Homer,themoustachemanwhohaseveryjob我们需要你购票用的应用saysweneedtheappyouusedtobuythetickets.我打印完票就把应用删rOh,IdeletedthatappthesecondIprintedthemout.我能下载应用吗CanIdownloadtheapp?那你就需要他的密♥码♥Well,you'llneedhispassword.密♥码♥在我密♥码♥钱包里Oh,it'sinmypasswordwallet但那个我也删了ButIdeletedthat,too.你为什么总是删应用Whydoyoukeepdeletingapps?我就喜欢在点击删除前1likethewaytheyjiggleinfear它们因为恐惧而颤抖的样子rightbeforeyoudropthehammer.快点侯老兄该你抽了Comeon,Home-slice,it,syourpick.你和柯克在一起吗AreyouwithKirk?那个是我们的梦幻足球游戏抽签Um,well,it'sourfantasyfootballdraft.我梦幻足球玩的超烂排名垫底他们那么伤害巴仔你还跟他们玩AftereverythingthosepeoplehavedonetoBart?叛徒Traitor!你对我来说已经是个死人了Youaredeadtome.往前开然后掉头傻蛋Pullforwardandturnyourcararound,pally.哎呀你进不来呀别担心Aww,youcan'tgetin?Well,don,tworry.我们会发图让巴仔知道他错过了什么好东西的We'llpostpicssoBartcanseeallthefunhe'smissing.你疯了吗我会救你的Haveyoulostyourmind?-mgoingtosaveyou.你这样算救我吗Howisthissavingme?严重轮胎损害跟上Followme.工作人员舞台入口薯片请出示门票Tickets,please.有些人外带食品进来了Someofthesepeoplearecarryingoutsidefood.外带食品外带食品Outsidefood!Outsidefood!工作人员舞台入口前排俱乐部我们今天不是穿着周边T恤就是戴着手铐回去We'reeitherleavingherein$50T-shirtsorhandcuffs.可能还有第三种方案吧Perhapsathirdcourseofactionwillpresentitself?黄油前排俱乐部看吧伙计们我们成功了1.ook,guys,wemadeit前排俱乐部TheFrontRowClub!也许你应该带我们回家Maybeyoushouldtakeushome.我觉得现在已经没人对演唱会这么上头了1don'tthinkanybody,sthatpsychedfortheconcertanymore.回家让露安赢吗Gohome?AndletLuannwin?你为什么不问问那位女士的意见Whydon'tyouaskthatladywhatshethinks?你现在理解我们的想法了吧Nowyouknowwhatwe'reallthinking.我没有我对你没意见Notme.mcoolwithyou.甜心我真的很抱歉"Oh,sweetie,mso,sosorry.我只是有一堆情绪在脑内翻腾vejustbeenfeelingthewholerangeofemotions:愤怒狂怒暴怒还有点小恼火anger,rage,fury,evenmiffed.但我发誓这都是因为ButIswear,itwasallbecauseIneverwant我不希望你身上发生任何坏事anythingbadtoeverhappentoyou.我能应付坏事Icanhandlebad.但我应付不来失去唯一一个靠谱家长Ican'thandlelosingtheonegoodparentI'vegot.前排俱乐部你为什么就不能让我邀请巴仔来呢Whycouldn'tyoujustletmeinviteBart?亲爰的想想他现在Oh,honey,butthinkofhowjealousandmiserable有多嫉妒和可怜吧hemustberightnow.这多令人愉悦啊-并不会Isn'tthatsatisfying?-Itmostlyisn't我知道巴仔会给我带来不良影响IknowBart'sabadinfluence,但他是唯一一个愿意影响我的小孩buthe'stheonlykidwhowantstoinfluenceme.我只剩他了He'sallIgot.前排俱乐部没了巴仔最好的朋友TheFrontRowClubwon'tbemuchfun前排俱乐部也不会那么有趣了withoutBart,sbestfriend.
