Ghosts《鬼屋欢乐送》第三季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
嘿宝儿米勒夫妇把这个落房♥里了Hey,babe?TheMillersleftthisintheirroom.是一袋自然历史博物馆的东西IfsabagofstufffromtheNaturalHistoryMuseum.是个小霸王龙还有一本讲恐龙的立体书It,salittleT-Rexandapop-upbookaboutdinosaurs.我会寄给他们的11mailittothem.天我们的博物馆竟然堕落如此My,howfarwe,vefallenthatmuseums沦落到贩卖♥♥虚构文创的地步了havestoopedtotraffickinginfantasticalcreations.等等艾萨克你不知道恐龙是真实存在过的吗Wait.Isaac,doyounotknowthatdinosaurswerereal?什么-萨曼莎What?-Samantha,就像上周一你穿的那件绿色开襟衫一样muchlikethatgreencardiganyouworelastMonday,搞笑也不大适合你japerydoesn'tlookgoodonyou.有意思了Interesting.恐龙直到19世纪才被发现Dinosaursweren,tdiscovereduntilthe1800s.所以开国元勋们So,theFoundingFathers根本不知道它们的存在wouldn'thaveevenknownaboutthem.你是说那些房♥子大小的凶猛生物Youmeantotellmethatferociouscreatures曾经在这个地球上游荡thesizeofhousesonceroamedthisearth?你知道这事吗Didyouknowaboutthis?知道但只是因为我有关注这些Yes,butonlybecauseIpayattention.你好Oh.Hi.你好Hello!欢迎来到伍德斯通庄园WelcometoWoodstoneMansion.我去Holycrap.我订了个房♥名字是杰瑞米莱夫科维茨Uh,IhaveareservationunderJeremyLefkowitz.我弟弟Mybabybro.我天又来一个Oh,God,there'sanother.杰瑞米莱夫科维茨-等下你是特雷弗弟弟JeremyLefkowitz.-Wait,you,reTrevor'sbrother.我们去年在这里办过他的追悼会W-Weheldhismemorialherelastyear.是我想过来但是Yeah,Iwantedtocome,but.我应该是还没完全准备好接受IjustthinkIwasn'treadytoreallyacceptthefact特雷弗真的走了的这个事实thatTrevorwasreallygone.太痛苫了Itwasjusttoopainful.没关系的兄弟It,sokay,buddy.他还在因为你的去世而伤心呢真不错Aww,he'sstillsadyou,redead.That,snice.你管那个呢怪物真的存在过Whocares?Monstersarereal?我一直抱有希望Youknow,Ialwaysheldouthope想着他也许是赚了一大笔thatmaybehejustmadeaboatload带着个辣妹去了马尔代夫andtooksomehottietotheMaldives还想法子把税逃了andsetupsomesortoftaxdodge.这想法不错That'sanicethought.但我不会带妞去的那样你就是为了一棵树放弃整个森林ButIwouldn'tbringababe,thenyou'restuckwithher.告诉他萨曼Tellhimthat,Sam.跟他说不能揣着沙子去沙滩Tellhimyoudon'tbringsandtothebeach.嘿杰瑞米你有兴趣Hey,Jeremy,canIinterestyou加入我们的伍德斯通奖励计划吗insigningupforourWoodstoneRewardsprogram?其实我已经是会员了Oh,mactuallyalreadyamember.你确定吗伏I为加入是免费的而且Areyousure?Becauseit,sfreetojoinand.等一下我不用再费唇舌了Oh.Waitaminute.Idon,thavetodothat.好我带你去你房♥间-太好了谢谢Okay,letmeshowyou-toyourroom.-Great.Thankyou.那独角兽呢Whataboutunicorns?真真儿的Veryreal.我就知道Iknewit.你在这里啊皮特Thereyouare,Pete.要去庭院里散散步Wanttotakeastrollaroundthegrounds,活动下你这身年轻的筋骨吗putthoseyoungcalvestowork?我我还是算了Youknowwhat?I-mgood.这身筋骨跟我要看烘焙大赛ThecalvesandIarejustwatchingalittleBakeOff.你的皮肤一直都这么繁致吗Wasyourskinalwaysthistaut?是差不多吧Yep.P-Prettymuch.是差不多吧Yep.P-Prettymuch.那回见了Well,seeyouaround.看起来卡萝尔很想跟皮特交欢哎SeemslikeCaroldesireintercoursewithPete.是啊太疯狂了Yeah,it'snuts.那女人一直追着我就跟我是周二低价航♥班♥ThatwomanhasbeenaftermelikemaTuesdayflight而她是预算有限的旅行者一样andshe,satraveleronabudget历史上机票最便宜的一天Historicallythecheapestdaytofly.那是因为她看到你为自己出头It,sbecauseshesawyoustandupforyourself.并了解到你很忠诚Andlearnedthatyouwereloyal,即便死后都是还有evenindeath.-Also.皮特小腿确实很匀称Petedoeshaveveryshapelycalves.他脖子上贯穿着根箭所以很怪异Hemonsterwitharrowthroughneck,所以我们经常忘记这点soweoftenforgetthat.就跟她说你不感兴趣皮特Justtellheryou'renotinterested,Pete.你是不感兴趣的吧Imean,you'renot,right?没那么简单Well,it'snotthatsimple.我面对的可是强大的诱惑mdealingwithsomepowerfultemptations.卡萝尔跟我白天会吵得不可开交Imean,CarolandIwouldfightlikedogsallday,但到了晚上我们相当和谐butatnight.wemademusic.琴瑟和鸣1.oudmusic.皮特这女人劈腿你最好的朋友给你戴绿帽Pete,thiswomancheatedonyouwithyourbestfriend.你不能再跟她一起了Youcan'tgetbackwithher.我知道你说得对Iknow,Iknow,you'reright.还有咱俩睡一屋Also,wesharearoom我可不想看你俩玩躲箭箭游戏好吗andIcannotwatchyoutwoplayhide-the-arrow,allright?我会吐的Iwillthrowup.前提是鬼能吐的话Ifghostscanthrowup.谢谢我就建要听到这些Thankyou.ThatisexactlywhatIneededtohear.不是说想听到我的性生活Imean,notthepartwheretheideaofme会让你反感那句beingsexuallyactiverepulsedyou,其余的都很中听buttherestofit别担心我会坚强起来的Don'tworry.llbestrong.他是来这里过周末吗He'sherefortheweekend?这堆东西可不少Hecertainlydoesn'tpacklight.我有次看到你为了纽波特住一周Ioncesawyoupack12steamertrunks打包了12个人旅行箱foraweekinNewport其中一个还压死了一个男仆Oneofthemcrushedafootman.我好担心那个箱子里的瓷器Oh,Iwassoworriedaboutthechinainthattrunk.幸好男仆起到了缓冲作用Thankfully,thefootmansoftenedtheblow.他没白死Hedidnotdieinvain.嘿杰瑞米Hey,Jeremy作为伍德斯通奖励计划的尊贵会员AsavaluedWoodstoneRewardsmember,我给你拿了干净毛巾过来Ibroughtyousomefreshtowels.住的还习惯吗很好So,howyousettlingin?-Great.我很高兴终厂能成行Youknow,mgladIfinallymadethetrip.对r我爸妈对追悼会赞不绝口Oh,myparents,theyravedaboutthememorial,bytheway.尤其是我爸Especiallymydad,特别是能见到泰拉雷德especiallygettingtomeetTaraReid.是哦我记得Oh,yeah,Iremember.他还把名片给她了Hegaveherhisbusinesscard.结果怎么样How'dthatworkoutforhim?我觉得他们现在有在发信息Ithinkthey*reactuallytextingnow.莱尼莱夫科维茨1.ennyLefkowitz对于一个批发灯具的老人家来说Foranalterkakerinwholesalelightingsupplies,那家伙还挺有一套的theguy'sgotgame.替我跟你♥爸♥问好WOw,well,tellyourdadIsaidhello.其实Um,actually,um我们现在不怎么联♥系♥了we,renotreallyspeakingatthemoment.他算是把我炒了Hekindoffiredme.什么爸把你炒了What?Dadfiredyou?但这样最好Butit,sforthebest.我在那里干了15年dbeenthere15years,到最后就是在针锋相对wewerejustbuttingheadsbytheend,所以是时候离开了soitwasitwasjusttimetogo.等等爸为什么要解雇杰仔呀Wait,whywouldDadfireJ-Dog?没道理啊Thatdoesn'tmakeanysense.天真希望我能跟他谈谈Oh,God,IwishIcouldjusttalktohim.我相信杰肯定会接一些有意义的话msureJayhassomesortofmeaningfulfollow-up.有需要随时找我们Well,letusknowifyouneedanythingelse.不是吧不是吧Comeon.-Comeon!一搞什么你知道吗Really?-Oh,youknowwhat?其实我想点午餐Actually,mgonnagetsomelunch.麻烦给我份带骨的肋眼牛排还有lltakethebone-inribeyepleaseand.一瓶你们2010年份的奥松酒庄红洒Oh,I'lltakea-abottleofyour2010ChateauAusone.这品味好的这就给你端上来Wow.Okay.We'llgetthatrightuptoyou.他失业可却点了He'sunemployed,yethe'sordering菜单上最贵的东西themostexpensiveitemsonthemenu.事有蹊跷（里面有点臭）Somethingstinksinhere.有点像你从纽波特回来时Sortoflikeyoursteamertrunk大旅行箱的味道bythetimeyougotbackfromNewport.真的该立即把那个男仆处理掉的Mm,youreallymustscapethefootmanoffimmediately.卡萝尔Carol.你怎么会在这里Whatareyoudoinghere?你一直在躲我You'vebeenhidingfromme.我觉得你该走了Ithinkyoushouldleave.皮特我刚发现我死了Pete,IjustfoundoutIdied.周围都是陌生人msurroundedbystrangers.你能陪我坐会儿吗Couldyoupleasejustsitwithme?当然了卡萝尔Sure,Carol.Oiyoiyoi.我理解这种转变有多难Iknowhowhardthistransitioncanbe.谢谢皮特Thankyou,Pete.我已经好受多了Ifeelbetteralready.卡萝尔你手在我膝盖上做什么Carol.Whatisyourhanddoingonmyknee?抱歉老♥习♥惯Oh,sorry.Oldhabits.没有弹响Noclicking.你的软骨组织还是那么充沛Yourcartilage,it'sstillsobountiful.好了这是个错误我走了Okay,thiswasamistake.mleaving.我手袋里有块奶油糖哦Ihaveabutterscotchcandyinmypurse.奶油糖Butterscotch?挺好的卡萝尔但你一给我That's,great,Carol,butassoonasyougiveittome,它就会迅速回到你手袋里it'sjustgoingtozapbackintoyourpurse.我都没法享受它I-1won'tevenbeabletoenjoyit错其实萨萨和海蒂有个古怪的想法No,actually,SassandHettyhadthiswackyidea,就是如果我拿着你就可以舔到thatifIholdontoit,youcansuckonit.但你也会Butyou'llalsohave稍微舔到点我的手指tosuckmyfingersalittle.我已经很久没吃过奶油糖rIfsbeenawhilesincevehadabutterscotch.实际上我已经很久没尝过任何东西了Infact,it'sbeensolongsinceItastedanything,我也许应该看看Ishouldprobablyjusttakealook.”吧Haveataste.你力量好大You,resopowerful.看看这个Wow,lookatthat.是趣游游戏主机吗IsthisanoldFunyogamingconsole?你玩超级巨碗不YouplaySuperMegaBowl?这些词我几乎一个都听不懂Irecognizealmostnoneofthosewords.是款经典的单机橄榄球游戏Ifsaclassiceight-bitfootballvideogame.玩我超爱玩超级巨碗的Yeah,IloveSuperMegaBowl.特雷弗以前会跟我一起玩Trevorand1usedtoplay.你刚被特钱钱擒抱了YoujustgotsackedbyT-Money.无所谓Whatever.我还有时间射中个三分球Istillhavetimetokickthisfieldgoal赢F莱夫科维茨家庭锦标赛的andwintheLefkowitzFamilyChampionship.你会紧张的杰瑞米You'regonnachoke,Jeremy.就像你在犹太人夏令营Justlikeyouchoked排球决赛时intheCampRamahgagafinals在瑞秋霍洛维茨面前紧张了一样infrontofRachelHorowitz.嘿不公平你捅湿我耳朵Hey!Nofair!Youwet-williedmel特钱钱T-Money!一直都是我赢Ibeathimallthetime.一直都是我赢-嘿杰瑞米Ibeathimallthetime.-Hey,Jeremy.抱歉打搅下我确定肯定是搞错了Sorrytointerrupt,I'msureitwasjustamistake,但你给我们的信♥用&hearts咔♥被拒了butthecreditcardyougaveuswasdeclined.给他个教训萨曼Breakhisthumbs,Sam.是不好意思啊我应该提一下Yeah,sorry,I-1should'vementionedthat我要用伍德斯通奖励积分抵扣mgonnauseWoodstoneRewardspointstopayforit.餐费房♥费Food,room,一所有都是一很遗憾-thewholething.Unfortunately,你目前不可能攒到那么多积分there,snowayyou,veearnedthatmanypointsyet.不是哦注册邮箱的时候你就会Uh-huh.Well,youknowhowyougetahundredpoints得到100积分对吧whenyousignupforthemailinglist?对程序我做的Yeah,Icreatedtheprogram.我知道是怎么运作的Iknowhowitworks.是一般来说规则里会限制Right,well,usuallythere'ssomethingintherules可注册电子邮箱的数量limitinghowmanyemailsyoucanregister,但你们规则里没有butnotinyours.所以我注册了一万个虚拟邮箱账户So,Iregistered10,000dummyemailaccounts所以现在我有一百万积分andnowIgotamillionpoints!这娃就是个天才Thiskid'sagenius!总有一天他会成大事的He'sgonnadobigthingsoneday.他比我父亲去世的时候年纪都要大He'solderthanmyfatherwaswhenhediedofoldage.死法极其耻辱Veryshamefulwaytodie.行吧就是说你骗了我们一个免费周末Okay,soyoutrickedusintoafreeweekend.恭喜Congratulations.其实实际上Well,it'sactuallygonnabe,uh,要住不止一个周末alittlelongerthanaweekend.是这样我在这里过得很开心See,urn,mhavingagreattime,目前现金流也有点拮据andmcurrentlyalittlecashflow"negativo,所以我上网延长了住宿时间soIwentonline,extendedmyreservation.画风不大对啊Where'sthisheaded?明年我都会在这里住下了.andmgonnalivehereforthenextyear,全部用积分抵扣andpayforitallwiththepoints.天呐Oh,God.耶莱夫科维茨兄弟又要大展拳脚了Yes!Lefkowitzboysrideagain!我刚跟律师通过电♥话♥Well,Ijustgotoffthephonewiththelawyer.他说如果我们不兑现奖励积分Hesaysthatifwedon'thonortherewardspoints,那将会面临法律诉讼we,reopeningourselvesuptolegalaction.太好了所以就这公定了杰仔住下来Great.Soit,ssettled.J-Dogstays.那就让这人榨干我们一整年So,thisguyisjustbleedingusdryforayear?怎么才能甩掉他Howarewegonnagetridofhim?流星消灭了恐龙呀-这有什公关系Ameteorgotridofthedinosaurs.-Howisthathelpful?没关系就是觉得很牛逼It'snot.Ijustthoughtitwasneat伊莱斯跟我曾经拥有一栋廉价公♥寓♥楼EliasandIonceownedatenementbuilding我们认为那里很适合做工厂thatwethoughtwouldmakeawonderfulfactory.但如何处理住在其中并Butwhattodoaboutthefamilieswholivedthere拒绝搬出去的家庭呢andwererefusingtomoveout?我们放了老鼠进出让他们四散奔逃Well,webroughtinratsandhowtheyscurried.我是说人不是说老鼠Thepeople,nottherats.好吧海蒂的故事让人很不舒服Okay,Hettyhadaverydisturbingstory,但我认为还是有可取之处butIthinkthere'sanactionabletakeaway.如果我们提供给杰瑞米的东西都很不舒服WhatifwejustmakethingssouncomfortableforJeremy搞得他想离开呢thathewantstoleave?好主意我们把他熏出去That'sagreatidea.Wesmokehimout.不是吧Comeon.我已经错过了我弟25年的时光vemissedouton25yearsofmybrother'slife.我都不知道他跟谁谈过恋爱住哪里Idon'tevenknowwhohe,sdated,wherehe'slived,他是喜欢大胸还是翘臀ifhe,sabooborabuttguy.特雷弗我们养不起一个跟这Trevor,wecan'taffordsomeonejustlivinghere白吃白喝花光我们钱的人moochingandspendingusintooblivion.这太不公平了Thisissounfair.问个问题就是说你被困在一个满是老鼠的楼里Question.Soyouwerejuststuckwithabuildingfullofrats?那里是香肠厂所以问题迎刃而解Itwasasausagefactory,sotheproblemsolveditself.好消息各位Greatnews,everyone.卡萝尔和我复合啦CarolandIarebacktogether.他坚强了将近一个小时呢Andhestayedstrongforalmostawholehour.恭喜可她之前伤过你的心Congrats.Butshebreakyourheartbefore.我知道但那都是过去的事了I-1know,butthatwasinthepast.这次会不一样的Thingsaregonnabedifferentthistime.你在这里啊Thereyouare.咱们不是说好了去散步吗Ithoughtweweregoingforawalk.都快六点了It,salmost6:00.才五点四十小甜甜Well,it's5:40,mysugarplum.还不到六点呢That'snotalmost6:00.抱歉啊我想着我们可以早点出发Well,mSorry,Ithoughtmaybewewouldleaveearly这样就能一起欣赏口落了sowecouldenjoythesunsettogether.行吧我们现在就去散步Fine.Let,sgoonawalknow.也许六点前就能完事We'llprobablybedonebefore6:00,之后的夜晚将会是一地鸡毛andtherestofthenightwillbechaos.但无所谓了我们去欣赏美丽的日落吧Butwhatever,let'sgoenjoyabeautifulsunset.你怎么了啊Whatisyourproblem?你当我朋友们的面让我下不来台You'reembarrassingmeinfrontofmyfriends!看起来他们有个很不错的开始Well,theyseemlikethey'reofftoagoodstart.但厚头龙会".butthePachycephalosaurusfightsback,把它厚厚的圆顶头骨用作攻城锤进行反击usingitsthickdomedskullasabatteringram."把它厚厚的圆顶头骨用作攻城锤Usingitsthickdomedskullasabatteringram.他要你动一下Hewantsyoutomakeitmove.是抱歉Oh,right,sorry.萨曼我冻死了Sam,Iamfreezing.如果我们很冷那杰瑞米也会很冷Well,ifwearefreezing,thenJeremy'sfreezing.他就不会忍♥很久Hewon'tbeabletoputupwiththisforverylong.先是没无线网FirsttheWi-Figoesout,然后热水也没了thenthehotwater.现在连暖气都停了是啊抱歉Nowtheheat?-Yeah,sorry.可能不是你会想住上Probablynotthekindofplace一年的地方youwanttostayforawholeyear.我不介意呀Oh,Idon'tmind.我可是挺过费尔音乐节的人IsurvivedFyreFestj不仅如此我还是最后一个离岛的人呢Notonlythat,Iwaslastonetoleavetheisland因为我太喜欢那里了causeIwaslovingitsomuch.完全不知道他在讲什么Idon'tknowwhathe,stalkingabout,但我超喜欢他的自信butIlovehisconfidence.就往他屋里扔老鼠不就完事了Justfillhisroomwithratsandbedonewithit.杰瑞米我们是家小作坊Jeremy,we'reasmallbusiness.负担不起为一个Wecan'taffordtobeproviding不知道住到何年何月的goodsandservicestoanon-payingcustomer非付费用户withnoendinsight.萨曼我们能订阅按次付费的比赛吗Sam,canwegetthepay-per-viewfight?只要79.99美元It'sonly$79,99.好吧我很理解Allright,Idoappreciate你们现在处境艰难thatyou'reinatoughsituationhere,所以我会给你们两个人whichiswhydliketotipyouboth2000奖励积分的小费2,000rewardspoints.行吧去他妈的要不这样杰瑞米Okay,screwit.Howaboutthis,Jeremy?你跟我玩一局超级巨碗YouandmeplayonegameofSuperMegaBowl.那听起来像是Thatsoundslikesomething腕龙喝水的地方abrachiosaurwoulddrinkwaterfrom.开玩笑的翻页Iquip.Now,turnthepage.要是我赢了IfIwin,你今天就收拾行李走人youpackupandleavetoday.如果你赢TIfyouwin,我给你双倍奖励积分lldoubleyourrewardspoints.杰你这是干嘛Jay,whatareyoudoing?我要拯救我们于水火mgettingusoutofthismess.我会像博杰克逊冲破mgonnarunthroughyou印第安纳波利斯的防线样冲过你likeBoJacksonranthroughtheIndianapolisdefense.首先没问题Numberone,you'reon.一好-第二点Yes.-Numbertwo,自2017年以来since2017,我一直都是超级巨碗的世界纪录保持者vebeentheworldrecordholderatSuperMegaBowl.我以155比0打败了电脑Ibeatthecomputer155tozero.我弟会轻松干掉你的（帮你擦屁♥股♥）Boom!Mybrother'sgonnawipeyourbutt.什么Ew.What?你懂我什么意思YouknowwhatImean.干得漂亮杰Well,greatwork.Jay.现在杰瑞米会拿到两百万积分NowJeremy'sgonnahavetwomillionpoints,我们还要跟他纠缠好几年andwe'regonnabestuckwithhimforyears.我已经知道怎么打败他了就在我跟他约战的战场什么vegothim-rightwhereIwanthim.-What?玩他最擅长的游戏吗Playingthegamehe'sthebestintheworldat?我们要利用鬼鬼作弊We'regonnausetheghoststocheat.汉密尔顿背叛了他的妻子Hamiltoncheatedonhiswife,然后就被他情妇勒索andthengotextortedbyhismistress.不重要但很有意思Notimportant,butfunny.鬼鬼们怎么帮Howaretheghostsgonnahelp?唯一个对超级巨碗Theonlyonewhoknowsanything或者说是对橄榄球了如指掌的人aboutSuperMegaBowl,orfootball就是特雷弗forthatmatter,isTrevor.我不认为他会帮你实现这个计划AndIdon'tseehimhelpingoutinthisscheme.他们只需要告诉你会用到几号♥战术就行Theyjustneedtotellyouwhatplaynumber,sbeingcalled.完全不需要任何橄榄球常识Itdoesn'trequireanyactualknowledgeoffootball.橄榄球是项残忍♥的运动Footballisabrutalsport.现在走路才是真正的乐趣所在Now,pedestrianism,that,swhereit'sat.两个对手走很远Twocombatants,walkingreallyfar,走很长时间forareallylongtime.但如果特雷弗发现我们作弊怎么办ButwhatifTrevorcatchesuscheating?他一定会为他弟出面干预的He'llsurelyinterveneonhisbrother'sbehalf.那就不让他看见We'renotgonnalethimsee.谁-特雷弗Who?-Trevor.不让他看见什么Won'tlethimseewhat?杰要不干脆这样Jay,whydon'twejustdothething我先跟鬼鬼们商量whereIworkitoutwiththeghosts过后再告诉你andIfillyouinafterward?我看会手♥机♥很好llgoonmyphone.Great.你们看到皮特了吗HaveyouguysseenPete?没要是看见他了跟他说我在找他-Nope.-Well,ifyouseehim,tellhimmlookingforhim.到时间揉脚了我拇囊炎都犯了It,sfoot-rubo'clock.Mybunionsarebarking.好的没问题Okay,noproblem.谢谢你说的如此详尽Thankyouforprovidingallthatcontext.嘿维京人Hey,Viking.你看起来有点像胡克霍根YoulookalittlelikeHulkHogan.他是80年代摔角于Hewasawrestlerinthe80s.体格相当不错Quiteaspecimen可怜的皮特PoorPete.那个女人对他太刻薄了Thatladyissomeantohim.她还用很淫♥荡♥的眼神看着索尔ShealsolookatThormostlasciviously.就像从战场上归来的饥饿的战士
