TheSimpsons《辛普森一家》第三十五季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
辛普森一家第三十五季第二集顾客们请注意母爱是永恒的Attention,shoppers,amother,sloveisforever,但母爱牌老鼠药的butMother'sLoveratpoison大促销会在今天截止isonlyonsaletilltheendoftheday.妈咪我一直在窗边等你Mommy!Iwaswaitingbythewindow.我可以帮你拿袋子吗CanIcarrythebagwiththemilks?我可有劲儿啦mreallystrong.我给你画画啦Idrewyoupicture.她真画了Yes,shedid.用布丁画的Shedrewitinpudding.真好看Oh.Pretty.但我们应该擦干净更好Butweshouldcleanthatup.不No!不要不要好吧好吧No,no,no!-Fine,fine,fine.布丁妈妈可以不擦掉-不要杀掉布丁妈妈Puddingmommycanstay.-Nokillpuddingmommy!今天我不小心吃了番茄酱爸比的时候更可怕Youshould'veseenwhenIatepartofketchupdaddy.不No!看看我买♥♥什么了1.ookwhatIgot.我爱你爰你Oh,Iloveyou,loveyou,loveyou.我们去玩泡泡吧Oh,let'splaybubblesnow.真是完美的一刻Thisisaperfectmoment.马姬怎么了Marge,what'swrong?要消逝了It.it,sslippingaway.你别瞎想了Youneedtostopthat.你说什么W-Whatdidyousay?巴仔Bart!我起飞啦Whee!mflying!巴仔什么情况Bart!Bart!W-Whatishappening?不No!不要啊他破了Oh,no.Hepopped.不要不要告我德古拉No,no!Don'tsueme,Dracula!你刚刚说话吗Didyousaysomething?我梦到之前跟孩子们Oh,I-Iwasdreamingaboutthosebubbleparties一起玩泡泡那次了weusedtohavewiththekids.但我很难过ButIwassosad.怎么会难过呢Whywereyousad?因为我知道这一切终将逝去BecauseIknewitwasgonnaend.我理解对我而言Igetit.That'swhy,forme,卷次吃到热狗的最后两口都是thelastfootofasix-footpartysubis.苦乐参半bittersweet.宝贝你出这么多汗Honey,you'redrenched!都是泡泡的水It,sbubblejuice.宝贝你看起来有些糟Oh,honey,youdon'tlooksogood.我是说我觉得你看起来棒极了1mean,Ithinkyoulookgreat,但如果是其他人比如医生butsomeoneelse,say,adoctor,可能会觉得你惨白的皮肤mightbealarmedatyourpaleskin和又冷又热的状态有些吓人thatisbothhotandcold.为什么昨天晚上要去周二周五老汉餐厅吃呢WhydidWeeatatTuesdayo'fridayhan'slastnight?我喝了三杯冰沙Ihadthreeglassesoffroz-se.还有好多冰镇血腥玛丽Andacouplefroz-oodyMarys.我们都喝多了Wegotprettyhammered.然后我们在那个粗鲁的Ugh.Andthenweboughthotdogs街边小贩买♥♥的热狗fromthatsketchystreetvendor.但热狗很香啊Oh,buttheysmelledsogood.用培根包住Wrappedinbacon.再用热油一浇.sizzlinginthathubcap.侯默快别听Homer,don'tlisten.我们必须得Wehavetokeepthe.保持浪漫romancealive!为什么你没生病Iwonderwhyyoudidn'tgetsick.临床术语是我把能吐的都吐过了Theclinicaltermis:mallthrowedup.要给希伯特医生打电♥话♥吗ShouldwecallDr.Hibbert?不用我好了现在没事了No,no,I-mgoodnow,it,sallgone.好多了Allbetter.糟了跳拉松就在明天Ooh,bounce-a-thonistomorrow.我觉得你去不了Idon'tthinkyou'regonnamakeit.我明早打电♥话♥给学校llcalltheschoolinthemorning.我必须去1havetogo.我在家委会殉道者网站上Ivolunteeredforthreejobs报名了三份志愿工作呢onpta-martyr.Com.天杀的家委会殉道者网站Frickin'pta-martyr.Com.他在哪里呢Whereishe?躲猫猫Peek-a-boo!他在哪里呢Whereishe?我家玉树临风我的宝贝在哪里Where,smyspeciallittleguy?巴仔你在哪里Bart?Whereareyou?别放手Don'tletgo.欢迎来到幼儿园没事的It'sokay.你的大衣Yourcoat.巴仔Bart?有没有人能帮帮我Cansomebodyhelpme?我把我的宝贝丢rvelostmylittleboy.巴仔Bart!可恶我刚要在网球比赛中Ohno.Iwasjustabouttobeat暴打这些变异的家蝇thesemutanthousefliesattennis.你要干嘛Whatdoyouwant?我把我的宝贝弄丢了velostmy-mylittleboy.你知道这只是个梦吧Youknowthisisadream,right?那倒是能把很多事儿说通Well,thatwouldexplainalot.没错在清醒的世界Yeah,inthewakingworld,我可吹不好迪吉里杜管mnotgreatatdidgeridoo.这是不是那种Isthisoneofthosedreams你知道你在做梦的梦啊whereyouknowyou'redreaming?有个名字的以前有人告诉我There'sanameforit,somebodyoncetoldme.我就是那个告诉你的人mtheonewhotoldyou.对That'sright.拼字冠军我是你的内心丽莎myourinnerLisa.我记得所有丽莎告诉过你的事情IremembereverythingLisaeversaidtoyou.就跟你听到的时候一模一样Exactlythewayyouheardit真的吗所以你可以告诉我Really?SoyoucantellmewhatLisasaid丽莎说的你知道你在做梦的梦吗aboutdreamingwhenyouknowyou'redreaming?是滴这是个科学概念叫“清醒梦”Yep.It'sascientificalconceptcalled"Lucydreaming."是由某个国家的睡眠医生发明的Itwasinventedbysleepdoctorsfromacountrysomewhere.哇喔她跟原版谢尔顿一样聪明Wow.She,sassmartasoldSheldon.既然这是你的清醒梦SincethisisyourLucydream,你掌控所有发生的事情youcontroleverythingthathappens.所以我是那个把侯默变成水獭的人吗SomtheonemakingHomeranotter?是的他用很多种形式出现在你的梦里Yes.Heappearsinmanyformsinyourdreams.老爸是一只水獭是因为昨天Dad'sanotterbecauseyesterday他躺在儿童泳池里hewaslyinginakiddiepool,从肚皮上吃玉米片eatingnachosoffhisbelly.那是一张永远跟着我的桌子It,satablethat,salwayswithme.有时候老爸是小丑SometimesDad'saclown,有时候是一颗土豆sometimesapotato,有时候是小丑土豆sometimesaclown-potato.又有时候他是两位房♥产兄弟Andsometimes,he,sbothofthePropertyBrothers.为啥我是这两位-为啥我是这两位WhyamItheseguys?-WhyamItheseguys?别管了我知道为啥Nevermind,Iknowwhy.但是为什么我会做关于巴仔的噩梦ButwhyamIhavingnightmaresaboutBart?发生了什么吗Didsomethinghappen?我怎么查看近期记忆HowdoIlookatrecentmemories?这是你的清醒梦你决定It,syourLucydream,youdecide.所以我可以决定从昨天开始的所有记忆Oh.SoIcandecidethatallmythoughtsfromyesterday储存在我也不知道了烤箱里吗arestoredin,Idon'tknow,theoven?当然为什么不呢Sure,whynot?运动真蠢我有男人♥大♥拇指我不喜欢开心果那个朝代的那个人还活着吗该多穿几层巴仔的大叫这是什么味找到了Hmm.Herewego.妈妈快过来Mom!Comequick!我来了我来了巴仔怎么了mhere.mhere,BartWhathappened?扎刺了-就这点事Splinter.-Oh.That'sit?有点出血It'skindofbleeding.好像也没有Maybenot.你的手什么时候长这么大了Whendidyourhandsgetsobig?比我的手都大They'rebiggerthanmine.不知也许我长了一双巨型手1dunno.MaybeIgotfreaky-bighands.用银子拔走谢谢Tweeze,please.我们很久没牵手了Iguessit'sbeenawhilesinceweheldhands.你弄好没Ew.Didyougetit?*Al%d>4谢谢Thanks.这就是你做噩梦的原因Sothat,swhyyou'rehavingnightmares.巴仔很粗鲁而艮浑身是刺Bartissuperrudeandfullofsplinters.也许吧或者只是小摊热狗吃恶心了Maybe.Ormaybemjustsickoffhubcaphotdogs.为什么醒着的我会吃那个啊Whywouldawake-meeatthose?一点也不像醒着的我Thatdoesn'tseemlikeawake-me.酒喝够后你会觉得自己无所不能Afterenoughboozeslushies,youthinkyoucandoanything.我还跟泊车的人掰了个腕子Ichallengedthevalettoanarmwrestle,后来发现他只是个指示牌butheturnedouttobejustasign.为什么我会在孩子上学的晚上WhywasIdrinkingfrozenwine在一家日常连锁饭店inacasualdiningchainrestaurant喝冰红酒onaschoolnight?我也不知道在我们见了巴仔老师后Idunno.AfterourmeetingwithBart'steacher,你说你需要喝一杯yousaidyouneededadrink.跟巴仔老师见面无论巴仔做了什么1.ook,whateverBartdid,我们会支付清洗或更换we,llpaytohaveitcleanedorreplaced或治疗或其他的费用orforitstherapyor.巴仔什么都没做Barthasn'tdoneanything.我约了所有父母mmeetingwithalltheparents.甚至普通孩子Eventhenormalkids.Oh!巴仔就是普通孩子Bartisnormal.我的意思是我们已经不再用普通这个词了I-Imean,wedon'tsaynormalanymore,Imean.我跟所有父母都这么说I-mtalkingtoalltheparents.你们孩子并不特别我指是独一无二的但You'renotspecial.I-Imean,youare,but.您想说的是什么Whatdidyouwanttotalkabout?你们都知道跳拉松意味着Asyouknow,bounce-a-thonmeans快到年底了we'regettingclosetotheendoftheyear.所以现在是个好时机去谈论Soit'sagoodtimetotalkabout上五年级的事了thetransitiontofifthgrade.小学的最后一年Youknow,lastyearofelementaryschool接着上中学然后.andthenit'sontomiddleschoolandthen.中学Middleschool?一切都会变Theneverythingchanges.女孩们粉刺毒品体臭Girls,acne,drugs,bodyodor.听着我教过五年级1.isten,I'vetaughtfifthgrade.求你们去买♥♥五年级学生的除臭剂Pleasebuyyourfifth-graderdeodorant.真正的除臭剂不是纯天然成分那种1.ike,realdeodorant,notthe''Natural"Stuff.他们看起来是孩子但闻起来.Theymaylooklikechildren,buttheysmell.像兴奋的出租车司机likenervouscab-drivers.关键是别害怕Thepointis:don'tfreakout.好的我为什么会害怕呢Okay.Aboutwhat?一些父母会认为Well,someparentsstartthinking,”完蛋我孩子的童年到此结束了”"Ohno.Thisistheendofmykid'schildhood."但是五年级并不代表巴仔童年的结束不是吗Butfifthgradeisn'ttheendofBart'schildhood,right?再怎么说也算是他童年的最后一年了1mean,technically,itisthelastyearofit.你知道巴仔怎么了吗DidyoufindoutwhathappenedtoBart?这一刻还是到来了It'swhat'sgoingtohappen.他要长大了He'sgoingtogrowup.小兔崽子Damnkid.这个梦太奇怪了Itwassuchastrangedream.巴仔4岁Bartwasfour太可爱andhewassoadorable.我几乎忘了曾经有那么一段时间dalmostforgottentherewasatime巴仔是更乖的那个whenBartwasthesweetone,而丽莎才是调皮捣蛋的那个andLisawasthedifficultone.平心而论Uh,tobefair.我现在只有18个月大monly18monthsold,所以听到对我2岁阶段的描述sotobegoingthroughmyterribletwosnow有点过于超前了isactuallyprettyadvanced.糟糕我还在做梦Crap,mstilldreaming!跳拉松Bounce-a-thon!我也要去mcoming,too!好耶你不是生病了吗Yay!-Aren'tyousick?我好像听到你呕吐IthoughtIheardyoubarfing.不那不是呕吐No,thatwasn'tbarfing.那是.掺了胃酸的一声响嗝.Thatwas.loud,sloshyburps.我报名负责现场点心Isignedupforsnack,所以我得做棉花糖soIhavetomakemarshmallowtrea.我可以的只需要先融化一些棉花Icandothis.Justhavetomeltsomemargari.别担心超级老爸已经接手Don'tworry.Super-Dadisalready棉花糖小点心的制♥作♥了makingthemarshmallowtreats.你用了哪种脆米糖大米还是可可味的Whichkrispiesdidyouuse?Riceorcocoa?我自己研发的大米已经差不多炸好了mmakingmyown.Thericeiskrispyingaswespeak.味道像是烤焦了Oh,itsmellslikeyou'veburntit!问题不大只需要用剩下的蛋酒浸泡一下Noproblem,I'llmoistenitwiththelastoftheeggnog.几年前吃的东西都被我吐出来了mthrowingupstuffIateyearsago.里面好像有我们的婚礼蛋糕IthinkIsawweddingcake.你真的应该待在家里Youreallyshouldstayhome.也许你是对的Oh,maybeyou'reright.这会是我错过的第一个跳拉松Thiswillbethefirstbounce-a-thonveevermissed.错过活动不要太爽Oh,missingstuffisthegreatest.每次遇到事情WhenIdostuff,我都害怕会错过错过它的机会Ihaveafearofmissingoutonmissingout.侯默听着你必须记得一件事Homer,listen,youhavetodothisforme.给每个孩子都拍一张Takeapictureofeachkid在终点线竖大拇指的照片givingathumbs-upatthefinishline.存进剪贴簿里It,sformyscrapbook.我给每一学年都留好位置了vealreadymadewindowsforeachschoolyear.巴仔伸出大拇指的时候慢一点Bart,thumbs-upslowlypastDaddy.留出相机对焦的时间Givehimtimetofocus.妈妈该怎么跟你说呢Mom,there'snoeasywaytotellyouthis,我就直说了somjustgonnasayit.我已经凭拍摄前沿露骨的沙雕照片Atschool,mbecomingknownfortakingcutting-edge,在学校声名鹊起了no-holds-barredcomedyphotos.是真的It,strue.我听五年级的谈论过veheardfifthgraderssayso.什么意思So,w-whatareyousaying?我绝对不可能在跳拉松上竖大拇指的There'snowayIcandoathumbs-upatbounce-a-thon.什么-那会毁了我What?-Itwillruinthebrand从拍照日起就一手打造起来的品牌I'vebeenbuildingsincepictureday.粉丝们希望看到比反转眼皮和胶粘鼻子Myfansexpectmetotopinside-outeyelids更有料的照片andscotchtapenose.你根本就不懂我的压力Youdon'tunderstandthepressureI'munder.可是这是跳拉松手账Butthisisforthebounce-a-thonalbum.这样你就不会忘记跳拉松了Soyou'llalwaysrememberbounce-a-thon.可是我不喜欢跳拉松ButIdon'tevenlikebounce-a-thon.我觉得这很蠢mmakingfunofbounce-a-thon.什么What?没有小孩喜欢跳拉松Noneofuskidslikebounce-a-thon.一点也不酷It,snotverycool.可是你们去年觉得它很酷Well,youthoughtitwascoollastyear.跳拉松超酷巴仔就比个大拇指好吗Bart,justonethumbs-up,please?不妈妈msorry,butno.我现在喜欢拍丑照Crazypicturesismythingnow.你应该接受我今年我喜欢的有所不同YoushouldrespectthatthisisjusthowIamthisyear.巴仔你说话好成熟Bart,yousoundsomatureandgrownup.我不接受Ihatethat.快跑有东西来了Run!Something'scoming!好蠢干嘛要用意象我知道我怕什么Thisissilly.Idon'tneedsymbolism.Iknowwhatmafraidof.我不怕你熊熊不好意思Andit,snotabear.Sorry.这不是场蜃梦是现实It,snotanightmare.It'sreality.巴仔在长大Bart'sgrowingup.之前我该珍惜他牵我手的因为Ishould'vetreasuredeverytimeheheldmyhandbecause.他已经很久没有这样了Idon'trememberwhenhestopped.诗人纪伯伦说过ThepoetKahlilGibranoncesaid：父母是弓Parentsarebows.bow多义弓蝴蝶结弓箭的弓1.ikebow-and-arrowbows?儿女是射出的箭fromwhichchildrenareshotforthasanarrow-thingy.当箭真切地飞远Thebowdoesn'tfeelsad弓不会难过whenitseeshowfarandtruethearrowflies.可是弓有点难过Well,thebowfeelsalittlesad.弓不想失去他们Thebowdoesn'twanttolosetouch巴仔娼妈爱你妈妈想你箭也经常不回消息andthearrowhasneverbeengreataboutansweringtexts.巴仔笑但是就算巴仔长大了你还有丽莎和阿麦ButevenafterBartgrowsup,you'llstillhaveLisaandMaggie.我天还有丽莎和阿麦Oh,myGod.LisaandMaggie!她们也都会长大It'sgoingtohappenwithallofthem!糟糕Oops.巴仔只是个开端Bartisjustthebeginning.一个接一个Onebyone.我的孩子们都会离开allmybabieswillleavethenest.我将失去他们mgoingtoloseallofthem.宝贝跳出来Honey,wemustn'tbreakawake-you,sbrain.记得咱们看过的广&hearts浩♥吗Rememberthosecommercialswheretheyshowyou抑郁是什么样的whatdepressionislike?一直跟着你的乌云Araincloudfollowsyoueverywhere,陷进沙发的你yougetsuckedintosofas,当情况更差andwhenitgetsreallybad,连发条玩具都停止运作yourwind-upmonkeystopsclapping.嘿快看巴仔在小广场1.ook!Look,Bart'sataplayground!巴仔巴仔这有你最喜欢的摇摇椅Bart!Bart!Theyhaveyourfavoriteback-and-forthriding-thingy!鸭鸭巴仔玩鸭鸭椅Theduck,Bart!Ridetheduck!巴仔Bart!不No!好吧我可能是有点消极Okay,maybeIambeingateensybitnegative.好吧闻着有人脑袋里有飓风味Okay.Alittlebrain-hurricane.我能做母亲的时间在倒计时Mytimeasamomwilleventuallycometoanend.有一天我只能随无趣的爱好充斥我的生活llhavetofillmydayswithabunchofstupidhobbies.我不想开网店1don'twantanEtsystorefront!现在又不是这样It,snothappeningnow.傻蛋才预支难过Soit'ssillytobesadaboutitnow.就像要按时上班一样It'slikegoingtoworkontime.简直是无理取闹There'snopoint.有件事我想让你看看Iwanttoshowyousomething.我也去我也去mcoming,too.好耶你不是生病了吗Yay!-Aren'tyousick?我好像听到你呕吐IthoughtIheardyoubarfing.就在这暂停Freezeitrightthere.现在再来看一遍不过这次要看这边Now,watchitagainbutthistimelookover.here.我也去mcoming,too.好耶-你不是生病了吗Yay!-Aren'tyousick?*妈妈会去*-我好像听到你呕吐*Mommy'scoming*-1thoughtIheardyoubarfing.*她会去*Yes,sheis*啦啦啦啦我的妈妈*Do,do-do,do,do,mymom.*她在练习竖拇指She'srehearsingherthumbs-up.我一直在为巴仔长大后厌倦跳拉松而难过Oh,IwassosadthatBarthadoutgrownthebounce-a-thon,却没看到我亲爱的丽莎依旧喜欢这活动Icouldn'tseethatmysweetLisastilllovesit.不过也是暂时的Fornow.明年估计她也会厌恶跳拉松了Nextyear,she'llprobablyturnonit,too.女士我需要请您远离消极的想法Ma'am,mgonnahavetoaskyoutogetoutofthedarkplace,please.你说得对跳拉松依然对丽莎意义重大You'reright.Bounce-a-thonstillmeansalottoLisa.可你是什么人.我的情绪警♥察♥吗So,whatareyou.like,myfeelingspolice?不我很肯定自己在这的原因是内心深处No,mprettysuremherebecause,deepdown,你深深的被我吸引you'reattractedtome.制♥服♥重心低Theuniform,thelowcenterofgravity,我浑厚缠绵的声音mythick,syrupyvoice.我不这么觉得Idon'tthinkso.非要这么说那我也喜欢艾迪Ifanything,mintoEddie.好吧他长得很好看Yeah,he'sabeautifulman.丽莎那么开心我会去跳拉松让我很高兴IlovethatLisawassohappyIwasgonnabethere.我应该去陪她Ishouldbethereforher.我必须在丽莎的童年结束前vegottogettothebounce-a-thon赶去跳拉松beforeLisa'schildhoodslipsaway.怎么才能把自己叫醒HowcanIwakemyselfup?好这应该可以Oh.Well,this'lldoit.好看起来不错感觉也不错Okay,lookinggood,feelinggood.现在更不错了Evenbetternow.我会去的丽莎绝不会错过llbethere,Lisa,Iwon'tmissit.或者一个乔伊美乃滋三明治乳品店的Orapickleandeggsandwich泡菜鸡蛋三明治fromJoeyMayonnaise'ssandwichcreamery!那里待客的热情就像蛋黄Wherethehospitalityisaswarmasthemayonnai.好了车被我毁了Okay,Iruinedthecar.但妈妈还是会去的丽莎Butmommy'ss-stillcoming,Lisa.来我们走Okay,herewego.我需要登录行用户名Oh,Igottosignup.Okay.Username?跳跳妈Uh,bounce-mom.已被使用好吧Taken.Fine.呕吐妈Uh,barf-mom.也被使用不会吧Taken?Really?欧吐妈Borf-mom.什么怎么会What?Oh,comeon.马姬Marge.这个居然可以Oh,thatworked.今日跳拉松我来了丽莎mhere,Lisa.跳拉松我之前答应过如果能有三十天没有虱子1promisedtowearthis,uh,humorouswigforbounce-a-thon就为跳拉松戴这顶有趣的假发已经二十九天ifwehad301ice-freedaysand,uh,well,wehad29,但我认为今天应该也会没问题butmjustgoingtoassumethattodayisgoingtogowell.现在在跳跃场地上的是二年级Andonthebouncetrackrightnow,thesecondgrade.那是丽莎的年级That'sLisa,sclass.借过借过请让我过去Excuseme,excuseme.Letmethrough.我是来支持自己孩子的mheretosupportmychild.是吗你猜怎么蓝公主Yeah,well,guesswhat,Princessblue,我们都是来给自家孩子加油的we'reallheretosupportourkids.所以识相点别再往前乱挤了Sostickthatinyourg-stringandmakechange.抱歉我病得太难受了我只是想msorry,mvery,verysickandIjust.病了什么病Sick?W-Whatkindofsick?我也不知道可能是水痘或者瘟疫之类的Idon'tknow.SomekindOfum,Idon,tknow,poxorplague.终点线哦不食物的气味Oh,no.Foodsmells.没事的我屏住呼吸就好It'sokay.I'lljustholdmybreath.雪花冰西班牙油条夏日时光寿司培根卷热狗必须拍到照片Must.get.picture.辛普森太太Mrs.Simpson?跳拉松急救站我我拍到照片了吗D-DidIgetthepicture?我晕倒以后居然还在拍照片ItookaphotoafterIpassedout?是啊我们不得不把手♥机♥从你手里撬出来Yeah,wehadtoprythephonefromyourhand.我们上次谈话以后我就有点崩溃I'vebeenkindofawrecksinceourmeeting.在你谈到巴仔的的童年结束了的时候Youknow,whenyousaidBart,schildhoodisover?我可没这么说我从来不会这么说1didnotsaythat.Iwouldneversaythat.巴仔的童年还没结束呢Bart'schildhoodisn'tover.不过我确实发现我谈到中学时你话少了IdidnoticethatyougotveryquietafterImentionedmiddleschool.但你什么也没说Youdidn'tsayanythingelse.只问了周二当周五过餐馆的酒水打折时间ExcepttoaskabouthappyhouratTuesdayO'Fridayhan's.等等你没说他准备开始泡妞吸毒长青春痘吗Wait,youdidn,tsayhewasheadingtowardgirlsanddrugsandacne?不当然没有No,ofcoursenot.我的天那是我做的梦O
