TheSimpsons《辛普森一家》第三十五季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
辛普森一家第三十五季第六集可以尝一下芒果旋风口味吗MayIsamplethemangomayhem?吃完这口冰淇淋就去死吧Nowyou'regonnascreamforicecream,约翰威克四JohnWickfour!其实这是Actually,it's.意式冰淇淋gelato.巧克力刺客联盟限定冰冻美味妈妈不让看的暴♥力♥片太棒了Theviolencemomwon'tletmewatchisthebest.该死Damnit!真实的暴♥力♥1.iveviolence!老侯醒醒出车祸了Homie,wakeup.There,sbeenacarcrash!怎么回事What'shappening?外面出事了There'sbeenanaccident!快去瞅瞅Ooh,let'sgogawk!马姬你竟然用充电线当做睡袍的腰带吗Marge,areyouusingachargercordasarobebelt?是啊我的腰带不见了Uh,well,Ilostmybelt正好巴仔的电♥话&hearts他不见了就andBartlostthisphone,so.你袖子上是什公东西What'sthatmarkonyoursleeve?我平时当隔热手套用来着Iuseditasanovenmitt.我儿子每个圣诞节都给我买♥♥件新睡袍MyMilhousebuysmeanewrobeeveryChristmas.小拉用牙仙钱给我买♥♥的RalphieboughtmethisChenillebeauty这件雪尼尔毛绒睡袍withhistoothfairymoney.孩子们给买♥♥的唾袍你一件也看不上吗Don'tyoulikeanyoftherobesyourkidsboughtyou?他们没给我买♥♥过啊They'veneverboughtmearobe.送妈妈最经典的礼物-他妈的不可思议Thequintessentialmomgift!-Un-frigging-believable.我的孩子送我手工自♥制♥礼物Mykidsgivemehomemadegifts,比如手作火鸡likehandturkeys还有通心粉做的andmacaroni-covered.玩意儿stuff.听起来都是些手工课剩卜来的垃圾Soundslikethey'rejustgivingyoutheirartclasscrap.摸摸看Feelthis.我很喜欢他们送的又贴心又艺术的Ilikethethoughtful,artisticgiftsmykids.我的天这手感Oh,myGod,that'splush!我的睡袍挺好的Myrobeisfine.就是有一些地方糟了而已It,sjustalittleworninspots.是啊后背上一整条呢Uh,onebigspotintheback.我去就剩屁♥股♥没事Aah!Thetopofmycrack!来快来Oh!Here!Comehere!孔明灯运输公&hearts词♥真神奇It'smagical.但闻着一股烧拖鞋味儿Butitsmellslikeburningflip-flops.我的拖鞋Ow!Myflip-flops!小心地上有活的电线Careful!Livewireontheground!谢谢你侯默Whoa.Thankyou,Homer.你真讲究Aw,youdaman.你们听见吗Didyouhearthat?柯克说我讲究KirksaidIwasdaman.虽然他语气听起来有点二但还是Imean,itsoundedstupid,thewayhesaidit,butstill.如果你想让大家都觉得你讲究的话Well,uh,ifyouwanttobe"Daman"Foreverybody,那就去危言者上发布一篇警示youshouldpostawarningaboutthatlivewireonAlarmist是个提醒本地邻居危险的程序It'sthisappthatalertsneighborstolocaldangers.这就下载一个Downloadingnow.危言者把危险录F来然后上传Youfilmdangerousstuffandpostit.比如车祸Youknow,trafficaccidents,白天出没的夜行动物nighttimeanimalsoutduringtheday.大家好这里是侯默辛普森Uh,hello.ThisisHomerSimpson.用户名Username,uh.老辛thesimp.常青台这里有活的电线There'salivewiresparkingonEvergreenTerrace.被电击几率Riskofelectrocution,百分之一千1,000%.百分之一千Athousandpercent?那我孩子没法玩这根电线rMybabycould'veplayedwiththatwire!虽然还在我肚子里但马上就要出来了Heain'tborn,buthe,s,bouttobe.恭喜你现在是危言者军队的一员了Congratulations,you,renowpartoftheAlarmyArmy.我都快看不清我的用户名了Hey,Icanbarelyreadmynamewithoutmycheaters.我怎么能像这些人一样弄成大字体呢HowdoIgetabiggerfontliketheseguys?危言者军队那些是软件上的置顶警告Um,thosearethetopalarmersontheapp.想要你的名字起码能被看得见吗Youwantyournameinareadablefontsize?你最好学会如何散播恐惧Youbetterlearnhowtospreadfear.我会做的我会跻身于这个榜单lldoit.llgettothetopofthisleaderboard即便这是我做过最没意义的事情ifit'sthemostuselessthingIeverdo!巴仔我们得聊聊妈妈的生日礼物Bart,weneedtotalkaboutmom'sbirthdaypresent.说话这会儿正在收尾Finishingitaswespeak.感恩节生日快乐妈妈差不多是时候弃用意面艺术流派了Uh,itmightbetimetoretirethepastaartgenre.什么在我重要的吸管面阶段吗What?Inmyvitalbucatiniphase?你听到那些长舌妇怎么评论我们的礼物了Youheardwhatthosejudgywomensaidaboutourpresents.今年我们得给妈妈买♥♥一份礼物Weneedtobuymomapresentthisyear.我们怎么搞钱Wherearewegonnagetmoney?奥拓不再付钱买♥♥干净的尿液了Ottostoppedpayingforcleanurine.弗兰德斯先生很大方Hmm.Mr.Flandersisgenerous.我卖♥♥给他过很多杂♥志♥订阅vesoldhimsomanymagazinesubscriptions.为什么还订猫咪时尚啊WhyCatFancy?他的猫一点都不时尚Hiscatisn,teventhatfancy.弗兰老兄我们IE试着给妈妈的Yo,Flan-man.We,retryingtomakesomescratch生日礼物筹点款forourmom'sbirthdaygift.你需不需要我们帮忙打理卫生Youneedanyhelpcleaningthismessup?抱歉我一直修剪草坪的Sorry.Ialwayskeepmygrasstrimmed.你也知道老话怎么说Youknowtheoldsaying.草坪就是房♥子的胡须"Thelawnisthemustacheofthehouse.'1懂了Aw,wegetit.我们只是想着妈妈值得些好东西WejustthoughtMomdeservedsomethingnice.可是你不这么想Butifyoudon'tthinkso,也没事啦mm,that'scool.慢着慢着Now,well,holdon!如果你清理人行道上的那两片叶子ICuh,youcleanthosetwoleavesonmysidewalkup,我就给你I'llgiveyou.四十四刀$44.两片都要清理吗Bothleaves?很疼-成交Owl-Deal.靶心我们的标志看着像友商这家店什么都有Thisstorehaseverything.雪天轮胎烟火小猫步♥枪♥大提琴这会让妈妈感觉舒服有爱ThiswillmakeMomfeelcozyandloved.高档居家服而且还能堵上长舌妇们的叽叽歪歪Andit'llputasockintheyapsofthosegossipyhens.我准备忽略你这有问题的形容词mgonnaignoretheproblematic"Hens"因为我支持这种情绪becauseIsupportthesentiment.菜鸟侦探间谍装备那是玩具吗Isitatoy?是的但那也是Yes.Butit,salso.装备gear.里面有一只笔其实是录音器It'sgotapenthat'sactuallyataperecorder,一部监听设备能让你从千里之外aneavesdroppingdevicethatletsyouhearconversations听到对话frommilesaway.当你陷入困境时Andwhenyougetinatightspot,可以吞服酸味的氧化物软糖胶囊sourgummycyanidecapsules!这能改变一切Thiscouldchangeeverything.内心深处我知道我才是二货Deepdown,Iknowmthedingus!把午饭钱给我Givemeyourlunchmoney不然整个操场都听到你哭兮兮orthewholeplaygroundhearsyoublubber.你也是领结佬You,too,bowtie.监听设备可以超有用Theeavesdroppercouldbesouseful.好了酷女孩会议正式开始Okay,themeetingoftheCoolGirlshasbeencalledtoorder.已经决定最新酷风向是It,sbeendecidedthatthenewcoolthing在温暖的天气戴御寒耳罩istowearearmuffsinwarmweather,所以不要告诉任何sodon'ttellanyrandos.大伙们好啊Hey,guys!丽莎也变酷了NowLisa'scool,too!我们什么也做不了Andthere'snothingwecandoaboutit!妙Yes.哭吧雪莉哭吧Cry,Sherri,cry.好吧我大声说说想法Okay,justthinkingoutloud.这个装备跟睡袍是一样价格thiskitisthesamepriceastherobe.你是在说Areyousuggesting我们应该-你知道我是的thatwe.-YouknowIam!求求你答应吧丽沙Sayyes.Comeon,Lis.咱俩都同意这事才能成Ineedtwokeystolaunchthismissile.妈妈其实没有收礼物的习惯Momhasneverreallybeenagiftperson.确实妈妈更喜欢拥抱True.She'smoreintostufflikehugs她喜欢看到我们开心andseeingushappy!但我们不能只给自己买♥♥间谍套件却没妈妈的份ButWecan,tjustbuyaspykitforusandnothingformom.巴仔Bart?收银台巴仔我们不能这样Bart,wecan'tdothis.需要申请靶心信♥用♥卡♥吗WouldyouliketoapplyforaBullseyecreditcard?我刚八岁meight.你是不够条件但如果你申请的话Yeah,youwon'tgetit.Butifyouapply,会送你一个靶心牌烫衣板布套yougetafreeBullseyeironingboardcover.我们既能买♥♥间谍套件Wecouldbuythespykit又能送妈妈熨衣板布套andgiveMomtheironingboardcover!就像送她个新熨衣板一样That'slikegivingherawholenewironingboard!给我也申请一下Givemeanapplication!我们能送她两块熨衣板布套We'llgivehertwoironingboardcovers!*祝你生日快乐*Happybirthdaytoyou!*先拆我的礼物Uh,openmypresentfirst.我着急上街Igottohitthestreets.居民等着我发出提醒呢Ihavecitizenstoalarm.又一个幸运手链挂件Anothercharmformycharmbracelet!那条项链真是我最明智的投资Thatbraceletwasthesmartestinvestmentever.祝妈妈/马姬生日快乐无论什么场合Nomatterwhattheoccasion,我都能送出你需要的礼物Ialwaysknowwhatyouneed.另一个挂件anothercharm.你真懂我Youknowmesowell.毕竟这么多年了嘛Ibetterafterhowevermanyyears.下一个拆我的Openminenext!一块熨衣板布套Oh.Anironingboardcover.是啊因为你得熨衣服YeahJcause,youknow,youiron.我当然得了Isuredo.拆我的在靶心牌塑料袋里Openmine.It'sintheBullseyebag!多巧妙的包装啊Hmm.Suchcleverwrapping.又一块熨衣板布套Ah,it'sanotherironingboardcover.你会给Whatdoyougetforthewoman只有一块熨衣板布套的女人买♥♥什么呢whohasonlyoneironingboardcover?谢谢你们俩Thankyou.Bothofyou.我很喜欢Ilovethem.我得上街了Igottohittheroad.我再提醒人们三件事IfIfindjustthreemorethingstowarnpeopleabout,排名就能超过警戒盖尔和llmoveaheadofCautionaryGaleandCryWolfcastle哭泣狼堡ontheleaderboard.我们帮忙打扫We'11helpcleanup!住手我来做No!lldoit.你们已经为我做了这么多Youguyshave.donesomuchforme.喜欢你的礼物吗Enjoyingyourpresent,huh?别整天用着它不放哦Don'tplaywithitallday!很快我们就会知道是谁打碎了这个花.We'llknowsoonenoughwhobrokethisva.黄麻雀我是弹弓YellowSparrow,thisisSlingshot.准备面谈Prepareforface-to-facediscussion.收到已准备好Rogerthat.Faceisprepared.间谍套件太棒了Thisspykitisgreat!房♥子里的秘密都被揭露无遗Allthesecretsofthishousearebeinglaidbare.而且妈妈超爱她的礼物AndMomlovesherpresent.嘀咕个不停Shecan'tstopmutteringaboutit.尽在掌握完毕Werule.Over.收到完毕Rogerthat.Over.求你了我痒止痒炉甘石药剂吵闹商场附近的不雅广&hearts浩♥牌InappropriatebillboardnearNoiselandArcade.堕落不堪Guaranteeddangerofcorruption.别让你家孩子来这Keepchildrenaway!老辛多谢提醒我们这些粗俗的双关语Thanksforwarningusaboutthevulgarwordplay,Simp!"求你了我痒”"Itch,please."等等我懂了Wait,Igetit!“痒”谐音”雄"Itch"Rhymeswith"Bi.”妈妈讨厌这个词相信我Uh,Momhatesthatword.Trustme.再发一条我就到前五了Onemorepostandllbetopfive.侯默Homer.宗教狂热分子在路上乱跑Religiousfanaticrunningthroughtown.很可能正从谋杀现场逃离Possiblyfrommurderscene.大家不要出门Avoidoutdoors.我做到了宗教疯子Ididit.-Fanatic!我排第五了mnumberfive!我比所有人都牛逼mbetterthaneveryone!你的名字不是付教授Yournameisnot"Frink."你叫”付教授的怪物”知道了吗Youare"Frink'smonster/'Yousee?付教授伤心心Frinksad.不对应该是”付教授的怪物”伤心心No,Frink'smonsterissad!怎么就教不会呢Whatiswrongwithyou?!你们中的一只老鼠一直在啃我的粉笔Allright,oneofyouseratshasbeeneatingpoolchalk染得到处都是白粉andleavingchalkypelletsallovertheplace.别别大眼瞪小眼No,no,don'tlookateachother!看着我嘿斯蒂夫1.ookatme!Hey!Steve!你好马姬Oh,hey,Marge.嗨内德-是妈妈Hi,Ned.-Ooh,that'sMom!昨天的聚会太赞了Whatapartyyesterday.我通常都不喝加冰水的Idon'tusuallytakemywaterontherocks.害得我整晚头嗡嗡响Iwasbuzzingallnight.是啊.是很好玩Yeah.Itwas.fun.我不是有意戳到你的伤心事的Whoa.Ididn'tmeantobringonapeeper-puddle.怎么了What'swrong?太蠢了.说出来都不好意思It,ssilly.I-membarrassed我为区区一件生日礼物这么伤心thatmyfeelingswerehurtbyastupidbirthdaygift.别这样没什么不好意思的Oh,no,feelingsaren,tstupid.情感这东西只是邪恶并不愚蠢Someofthemareevil,butthey'renotstupid.只是在一年一度的生日It'sjust.onmyoneday,我都被大家忽视了mbarelyanafterthought.他们仿佛没把我当做一个真实的人来对待It'sliketheydon'tthinkofmeasaperson.我不明白她为什么这么伤心1don'tgetit.Whyisshesosad?巴仔她感觉被大家忽视了Bart,she,sfeelingunseen.怎么可能我没法忽视她What?Ialwaysseeher.她占了我手♥机♥里的三个联♥系♥人She'sinmyphonecontactsthreetimes.妈妈妈咪和三明治under"Mom,""Mommy"And"Sandwich."她做了太多我们认为理所当然的事情Shedoessomanythingsthatwetakeforgranted.想象一下如果她也糊弄我们的生HImaginehowwewouldfeelifshe.我们会怎么想half-tushiedourbirthdays.什么嘛我不觉得这有什么What?dbefineifsheonly.我们糟透了完毕Wesuck.Over.收到完毕Rogerthat.Over.从今天早上开始Asofthismorning,我上了危言者排行榜第一IamnumberoneontheleaderboardoftheAlarmistapp.快看1.ookatthat!什么坏掉的洒水器What?Thebrokensprinkler?我们需要警告市民Weneedtowarnpeople!它可能会导致地面坍塌Itcouldcauseasinkhole或者造成机械设备故障oractivateaGremlin!这里是你的头号♥警报博主ThisisyournumberoneAlarmy警告大家洒水器的水正涌向.withawarningthatageyserofwaterispouringonto.一个睨称叫银弹的人已经报告了.Hey!SomeonenamedSilverBulletalreadyreporteda.公园里的垂直海啸"verticaltsunamiatthepark."这标题取得不错Whoa!That,sgoodmongering.我被抢先了Igotscooped?银弹现在是警报榜第一SilverBulletisnowAlarmynumberone.什么这家伙是谁What?!Whoisthisguy?你手指太肥了速度敌不了我银弹ThosefatfingersaretooslowfortheSilverBullet!银弹你活不久的SilverBUllet,yourdaysarenumbered!说点医生没告诉过我的消息Tellmesomethingmydoctorhasn't.你闻起来像个老太太Yousmelllikeoldlady.你也是Sodoyou.我闻起来像很多东西Ismelllikealotofthings.我们得给妈妈买♥♥个新礼物WehavetogetMomanewpresent.关于妈妈的一切一件有意义的东西Somethingmeaningful.所以让我们先列一个关于妈妈的一切的清单So,let'smakealistofeverythingweknowaboutMom.好主意Yes.Greatidea.她的全名实际上是玛格丽特HerfirstnameisactuallyMargaret.很好写下来Good.Writethatdown.全名马格丽特有了她喜欢听我的爵士演奏会Ooh,Iknow.Shelovescomingtomyjazzrecitals.不她不喜欢Uh,no,shedoesn't.她喜欢的是藏在那里的人物杂&hearts洁♥ShehidesacopyofPeoplemagazineintheprogram.怎久这么难Whyisthissohard?我们应该了解生养我们的人的Weshouldknowthewomanwhogavebirthtous.也许她不可知Maybeshe,sunknowable.我们送她间谍工具Whatifwejustgiveherthespykit和余生的床上早餐怎么样andbreakfastinbedfortherestofherlife?或许你知道妈妈那个Or,youknowthattrunk装旧物的箱子吗whereMomkeepsallhermemoriesandstuff?我们川间谍工具撬开怎么样Whatifweusethespykittobreakintoit?观迎光临暗黑世界Ooh,welcometothedarkside.外星人入侵补给马姬时光机找到了Hereweare.我甚至都不敢说这个撬锁工具Idon'tknowiftheselock-pickingtools会有用areevengoingtowork.毕竟这只是个玩具Imean,thisisjustatoy.马姬时光机那我要小心点吃那些富化物胶囊了Oh.NowI'mconcernedaboutthosegummycyanidecapsules.妈妈的出生证明Mom'sbirthannouncement.她叫马娇丽不叫马格丽特Oh,hernameisMarjorie,notMargaret.我们正式对妈妈一无所知了Weofficiallyknownothingabouther.马姬和皮蒂妈妈有只叫皮蒂的鹦鹉MomhadaparrotnamedPetey?他们是最亲密的朋友Oh,theywerebestfriends,像我和圣诞老人小福星一样likemeandSanta'slittlehelper.现在不行忙着呢Notnow,boy.Busy.看这张1.ookatthisone.艺术汽修服务北汤斯堡妈妈的家长把皮蒂送走了Oh,Mom'sparentsmust'vegivenPeteyaway.我们了解她一点了Hey,wejustlearnedsomethingabouther.外婆是坏蛋Grandmawasajerk-ass.等等鹦鹉能活80年呢Wait.Parrotslivefor,like,80years.说不定我们能找到皮蒂MaybewecouldfindPetey,andthenreuniteMom让妈妈和她很能活的朋友重聚withherlong-lostfriend.那妈妈就找回她Thatwouldbelikegettingherarobe会说话的贴心小棉袄了thattellsyouitwantscrackers.Pollywantsacracker美国小学生一年级教材里的梗我们去哪找她Howdowefindthislady?我们得去北汤斯堡Well,weneedtogotoNorthTownsburg.艺术汽修服务北汤斯堡那地方破得要死0h,thatplaceissketchy.苗浩斯的爸爸以前在那的毒诊所转招牌Milhouse'sdadwasasignspinnerforamethclinicthere.不过为了麦格丽出发Butlet'sdoit,forMar-ge-dy!是马娇丽Marjorie.都一样Whatever.春田客运站开往北汤斯堡天呢三小时的路程0h,Townsburgisthreehoursaway?!烦死了我要踢死前座Fine.lljustkicktheseatinfrontofme踢到这个破螺钉掉了为止untilthatlittlescrewfallsout.太无理了Thatissorude.你得离螺钉近一点像这样Well,youhavetogetclosertothescrew,likethis.倒霉Great.烈酒店烈酒加大♥麻♥店烈酒加大♥麻♥加报税店好压抑的地方Oh,thisplaceisdepressing.这是尼古拉斯凯奇疯r的地方吗Isn'tthatthecornerwhereNicCagewentcrazy?是雕像都摆上了Yep.There'sthestatue.烈酒店烈酒加大♥麻♥店烈酒加大♥麻♥加报税店汽修店在那There'sthemechanic'sshop.艺术汽修服务开工1.et'sdothis.油渍哥见过这只鸟吗Hey,greasestains,seenthisbird?我认得它这是克丽斯塔的鸟Yeah,Irememberhim.That'sKrista,sbird.小鸟惹事了吗Heinsomekindoftrouble?话密了我们来问问题We'llaskthequestions.把克丽斯塔的一切信息都告诉我们What,stheskinnyonthisKristacharacter?这条街的所有工艺品店都是她的Well,sheownsthecraftstoredowntheblock.她也卖♥♥酒卖♥♥大♥麻♥Shealsosellsliquorandweed.我们走你别出镇1.et'sgo.Don'tleavetown.但是我侄女明天就要结婚了Butmyniece,sweddingistomorrow.我说了别出镇Isaiddon'tleavetown.好吧喂雪儿是我文斯我去不了了Fine.Hey,Shirl,it,sVince.Ican'tmakeit.不知道某个小孩告诉我不能离开小镇Idon'tknow,somekidtoldmeIcan'tleavetown.我必须重返危言者榜首vegottogetbacktobeingAlarmynumberone.必须给大家提供点什么警告Gottawarnpeopleabout.something.死亡从天而降Deathfromabove.春田公园有掉落树枝FallingbranchesinSpringfieldpark!保持距离Stayaway.我们得赶快离开这一我成功了Wehavetogetoutofhere!-1didit.我是危言者榜首mAlarmynumberone!不会太久的你这癞蛤♥蟆♥脸的大沙包Notforlong,youtoad-facedbeanbag.我要把你像我儿子的煎饼那样完全切条Iwillcutyouintotinypieceslikemyson'spancakes.我要把你吃掉然后消化掉mgoingtoeatyouupandcrapyouout就像我儿子的煎饼likemyson'spancakes.春天公园弥漫着花粉TheairatSpringfieldparkisfullofpollen.只要有肺之人都应避开此处Individualswithlungsshouldavoidthearea.公园发现无体征尸首可能出现燃气泄漏1.ifelessbodiesatthepark.Possiblegasleak.发狂男人向鸭子池塘投放不明物质Dementedmanthrowingobjectsattheduckpond.游乐场出现化学空袭Chemicalairattackattheplayyard.野餐区有不明飞行物盘旋UFOshoveringoverpicnicarea.牵线龙出没很可能是时间旅行者攻击String-guideddragons,mostlikelytimetravelersattack.我先看到的风筝你这大笨蛋Isawthekitesfirst,yabiggaloot!出什么事了Whathappened?大地承受不住你那肥大的屁♥股♥Theearthcouldn'tsupportyourgiantass.说不定是撒旦听到你的声音MaybeSatanheardyourvoice决定早点把你收进地狱anddecidedtofast-trackyoutohell.好吧我每人都能上报一条Okay,webothgotonein.我们怎么才能从这天坑出去Howarewegettingoutofthissinkhole?我手♥机♥掉了你的手♥机♥在吗Idroppedmyphone.Doyouhaveyours?没有那就呼喊总有人能听见No.Juststartshouting.Someonewillhearus.救命在下面Help!Downhere!救救我别救她Saveme,nother!快走恶龙要来了Hurry,thedragonsarecoming!你说皮蒂他聪明绝顶Oh,yeah,Petey.Hewassmartasawhip.克丽丝塔纸品店能模仿任何事比如当日最佳政♥治♥人物Couldimitateanything：politicalfiguresoftheday,价格猜猜看里“你输了”的声效the
