TheSimpsons《辛普森一家》第三十五季第八集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

辛普森一家第三十五季第八集春田小学恭喜学生在全国贫血大塞上荣获第石名集♥合♥了小鼻涕虫们Hustleup,snotrockets.今天我们要训练TodayWestartaunit你们生理和心理的忍♥耐力thatwilltestyourphysicalandemotionalendurance.如果成功你们就会变成男人Itwillmakemenofyou,ifyousurvive.我说的项目正是交际舞“Ispeakofsocialdancing.要是跟女孩跳舞的话那就不得不碰她们rIfwedancewithgirls,thatmeanswe'llhavetotouchthem.妈妈说只有愚民才戴口罩但我不管了Mymomsaysonlysheeplewearmasks,butIdon'tcare.虱子可不是闹着玩的真的有Cootiesaren'tahoax.They'rereal.长大点成熟起来Growup.Maturity.成年仪式改变很美丽Riteofpassage.Changeisbeautiful.你们今天要学习触摸版本的德州两步舞YouwilllearnthetouchiestversionoftheTexastwo-step.就像这样1.ikeso.尽量贴在一起Getrealclose,boys!身体贴贴身体别留缝隙Bodytobody.Nodaylight.我们肯定会得虱子的We'regonnagetcootiesforsure.我得找个办法保护我们mgonnafindawaytoprotectus.我回来之前大家都独舞EveryonesolodancetillIgetback.没钱请不起护士忍♥忍♥病就好了教师专用士辛兀夫Perfect.快点把这些绷带贴在手上Quick,puttheseband-aidsonyourhands.这样就可以防止女生接触了They'llblockanyandallgirlcontact.给我给我Gimme!Gimme!Gimme!我感觉不太好Oh,Idon'tfeelsogood.这些绷带闻起来像我的克劳德叔叔的味道Oh,theseband-aidssmelllikemyuncleClaude.成瘾者之选尼古丁贴片数师的力量皮肤可吸收的Transdermal尼古丁nic.0.tine!社会科学巴仔你这回可真是搞了个大的Well,Bart,you'vereallywetthemogwaithistime.不是我的错Thiswasn'tmyfault.我又不知道那些绷带会把他们搞疯Ididn'tknowthoseband-aidswouldmakeeveryonecrazy.留校室你觉得我会相信吗Youexpectmetobelievethat?巴仔辛普森恶搞之王BartSimpson,theprankking?曾经将我的结肠镜检查直播给二年级学生的人Theboywholivestreamedmycolonoscopytothesecondgraders?拉尔夫不还帮你找到一个息肉呢吗Hey,Ralphdidfindthatpolyp.硬核留校室是良性的Itwasbenign.而你的惩罚可不良Unlikeyourpunishment.行别信我从来没人相信我放马过来吧Fine,don,tbelieveme.Nooneeverbelievesme.Doyourworst.欢迎来到顶级留校室Welcometosupermaxdetention.我罪不至此啊Yourworstwasdid.你看了那个加拿大跳舞小子的视频吗DidyouseethatvideowiththedancingCanadianboy?看了挺好Yeah.Cute.你看了那个"意想不到的动物朋友”视频是Didyouseethe"unlikelyanimalfriends"videowiththe.浣熊骑着马乱跑那个真不错Raccoonandhorseridingaround.Goodforthem.是啊真有意思Mm-hmm,they'lldothat.电子请帖侯默有人邀请我们参加婚礼Homer,wejustgotinvitedtoawedding.在波科诺斯inthePoconos.是旅行结婚It'sadestinationwedding.我天不是吧咋了Oh,God,no.-What?让我来给你讲一讲旅行结婚1.etmeeducateyouaboutdestinationweddings.或者用我的话说强行旅游Or,asIliketocallthem,forcedvacations.首先你得横跨半个美国Youflyhalfwayacrossthecountry就为了在不是周日的时候坐在教堂里tositinaboringchurch,notonSunday.然后你要被困在一个破旅馆里整整两天Thenyou'restuckinalousyhotelforawholeweekend周围是一群你不认识的人withabunchofpeopleyoudon'tknow,或者是你认识而且特别讨厌的人oryoudoknowandyouhate.而这一切只是刚刚开始Andthat'sjustthebeginning.到时候会有“迎宾酒”Firstthere'sthe"welcomedrinks,"里面的"招牌鸡尾酒”里wherethe''signaturecocktail"hasa.有黄瓜cucumberinit.而且这次还是在波科诺斯Andthisone'sinthePoconos,超乱市场听起来像岛屿其实就是宾州whichsoundslikeislands,butit'sjustPennsylvania.你还被逼着去做所有预排好的活动Andyou'reforcedtodoallthesepreplannedactivities,就像你太胖而用不上的拉链likeaziplineyou'retoofattouse.接着他们还得拉来一辆电线斗卡车把你救下来Andtheyhavetobringinatelephonebuckettrucktogetyoudown!然后在婚后早午餐上Andattheafter-weddingbrunch,所有人都会叫你小鸟拉不上拉链everyonecallsyouJohnnyZipline.再然后他们会当着所有人面拆礼物Andtheyopenthepresentsinfrontofeverybody,于是大家都能从在线登记处知道你的是最便宜的sotheyallknowfromtheonlineregistryyoursisthecheapest.最后以上这些都超级贵Andit,sallsuperexpensive,所以你不得不把所有的航行里程都浪费在上面soyouhavetowastealltheairlinemilesyougot因为你的信♥用♥卡♥被诈骗犯偷走了whenyourcreditcardwasstolenbyscammers,买♥♥了价值五万美金的打印机碳粉whobought$50,000ofprintertoner!对了就是这个买♥♥碳粉攒的里程Ofcourse.Yes.Thetonermiles.我们可以用来飞去婚礼Wecanusethemtoflytothewedding.靠北我滔滔不绝这么久谀0h.butmyrant.侯默辛普森我能想到最浪漫的事HomerSimpson,Ican'tthinkofanythingmoreromantic就是一家人被运往魔幻布景thantransportingourselvestoamagicalsetting庆祝新的爱情tocelebrateanewlove.我们去定了Wearegoing.好了给你There.Done.有机实验室青蛙酱再清洁一次Cleanitagain.一点都不公平我什么都没做错Ugh!Thisisn,tfair.Ididn'tdoanythingwrong.我唯一的罪过就是我不想跟傻妞跳舞MyonlycrimeisIdidn'twanttododancingwithsomestupidgirls!妞这是你在这里的原因吗Girls?That'swhyyou'rehere?男人起来小子Beaman,boy.不要为了什么爱人苦了自己Don'tfallapartoversomelassie丝绸般的秀发和让人迷失的酒窝withsilkyhairandadimpleyoucouldgetlostin正如无止境的甜蜜likeabottomlesspitOfsweetnessthat.感觉好多了Oh,thatfeelsbetter.你要不要聊聊这个姑娘So,youwanttotellmeaboutthisgirl?请入雅座Takeaseat一切都发生在苏格兰在我年轻的时候ItallhappenedinScotland,inmeyouth.有个我钟意的姑娘梅茜TherewasthisgirlthatIloved.Maisie.我以为她也爱我Ithoughtshelovedmeback.可她却碎了我的心Butshebrokemyheart.这就是为什么我来美国That'swhy1cametoAmerica,这个充斥着狂热摔跤爱好者的贫瘠之地blightedlandofbarbenheimmeringwrestlingbelievers.为了忘记让威利伤心的善变的姑娘ToforgettheficklelasswholetWilliedown.还有所有女人Andallwomen!与你同在兄弟mwithyou,brother.谁需要女孩Whoneedsgirls?现在咱们同仇敌惰Nowwe'rerage-bonding.男人不让男人失望Mendon'tletmendown.这是我们的声音Thisishowweexpressemotion!囊地鼠诱饵#囊地鼠癖好#密器好基友#地板卜.蜡鸡阿克汉堡威利#追逐气氛组威利抄上独轮车Willie,getyourwheelbarrow.你绝不相信他们从医院往外扔了啥东西Youwon,tbelievewhattheythrewoutatthehospital.拖把威利威利Huh?Willie?Willie?西摩威利不见了我哪也找不着他Seymour,Willie'sgone.Ican'tfindhimanywhere.威利一直玩消失Ha.WiIliedisappearsallthetime.估计IE烂醉躺在郊区哪条臭水沟里He'sprobablydrunkinaditchontheoutskirtsoftown.右边郊区左边市区老天爷啊威利Oh,myGod.Willie?然后吧就是那些个诡异的婚礼周末炮Andthenthere,sallthecreepyweddingweekendhook-ups,然后又得参加一场旅行结婚whichleadtothenextdestinationwedding.爸爸振作起来Dad,snapoutofit.威利出事了Something'shappenedtoWillie.有人毁门也的小屋我现在哪都找不到他Someonetrashedhisshack,andIcan,tfindhimanywhere.威利来电是他-巴仔我最好的朋友It,shim.-Bart,myweebestie.马克威尔登酿酒厂我在爱堡我需要你救命minEdinburgh.Ineedyou.Help!威利被绑♥架♥了SomebodykidnappedWillie.我们得去苏格兰帮他We'vegottogotoScotlandandhelphim.我是这世上唯一在乎他的人mtheonlypersonwhocaresabouthimintheworld.老侯巴仔求过咱俩很多事Homie,Bart'sbeggedusforalotofthings,这次的眼神我还是头一回见butveneverseenthislookinhiseyebefore.就连他上次要在脖子上纹Notevenwhenhebeggedusforthatnecktattoo手榴弹尾巴响尾蛇都没这么殷切过ofarattlesnakewithahandgrenadetail.但我们不能飞去苏格兰啊Butwecan,tjustflytoScotland.马姬是有办法的Marge,thereisoneway.不别说出来No,don'tsayit.我必须说Ihavetosayit.别-里程数No.-Themiles.但我们本来要去波科诺斯的But-butthePoconos.马姬里程数是可转换的Themiles,Marge.They'retransferable.我知道我当然知道Iknow.Iknowtheyare.我们最终还是去不成那场旅行结婚了Ugh,Iguesswe'renotgoingtothatdestinationweddingafterall.飞机观察爱堡马克威尔登酿酒厂那是威利打电♥话♥的地方That'sthebuildingfromWillie,scall.威利你在哪Willie,whereareyou?巴仔是你吗Bart,isthatyou?我来救你了威利llsaveyou,Willie!我决不允许这些混♥蛋♥们Iwon'tletthosebastards.递给你开胃菜吗passyouappetizers?巴仔你来的正是时候Oh,Baryoucame.Andjustintime.正是什么时候-我的婚礼啊Intimeforwhat?-Mywedding.威利要结婚了Willie'sgettingmarried!结婚Married?!迎宾礼袋日程表Welcomebags,scheduleofevents.迎宾酒会苏格兰历史主题早午餐从荒野灌木低到荒原的徒步爱旅定制苏格兰裙裤单身脱衣舞♥女♥派对晚宴彩排家庭废物们我一眼就讨厌的陌生人1.osersfromhome,newpeopleIalreadyhate.这是-旅行结婚Thisisa.-Destinationwedding.别啊No.!马克威尔登酿酒厂搞什么臭小子来参加旅行结婚吗Whatthehell,boy?Adestinationwedding?你承诺我会遇到绑♥架♥或者谋杀的Youpromisedmeakidnapping,ormurder.是啊威利搞什么鬼Yeah,Willie,whatthehell?那通电♥话♥里你听起来像是要被人杀掉了Onthatcall,itsoundedlikesomeonewaskillingyou.那只是梅茜热烈的亲吻Oh,thatwasjustMaisiecominginforasnog.亲一个大丑鬼Giveusasmooch,youbig,uglybawbag.别说了我要吐了Awhaudyerweesht,foreIboke.梅茜那个背叛你的女人吗Maisie?Isn'tthatthegirlthatbetrayedyou?是发生了一些事Well,thereisabitofastorythere.爱情故事说来话长对吧Alovestory.Ooh,pleasesayit'slong.迎宾鸡尾酒会上的幻灯片会说明一切的It'sallinthewelcome-cocktailslideshow.威利和梅茜的爱情故事我为梅茜的父亲工作IwasworkingforMaisie'sda,在泥炭地里挖泥炭harvestingpeatinthepeatbogs.燃烧的泥炭赋予了威士忌独特的风味Burningpeatiswhatgiveswhiskeyitsdistinctiveflavor.威利非常擅长闻出最好的泥炭地AndWilliecouldsniffoutthebestbogsofthemall.我们就是这么认识的Andthat'showwemet.那是一次“泥炭甜蜜邂逅”Itwasa"peatcute."我是世界上最幸福的闻泥巴的人Iwasthehappiestmudsmellerintheworld.但她家人不同意Butherfamilydisapprovedofme.他们试图铲开我们Theytriedtoshovelusapart.马克威尔登酿酒厂所以我们打算私奔远航soWemadeplanstoelopeandsailawaytogether.但当我等在码头她并没有出现ButwhenIwaitedatthedocks,shedidnaeshow.英国皇家海军罗曼蒂克号♥我心存怨恨孤身一人去了美国SoIleftforAmerica,aloneandbitter.我那天没去是因为我的家人告诉我ThereasonIdidn'tshowwasmyfamilytoldme威利被一只羊吃掉了Williewaseatenbyasheep.当我看到你的抖音我才得知我的爱人还活着ButwhenIsawyourTikTok,Iknewmylovewasalive.她第一时间就私信我了SheslidrightintomyDMs.然后我们开始互发色♥色♥短♥信♥Westartedsextingrightaway.我丢下一切回到家里SoIdroppedeverythingandcameback,家人们满怀热情wherethewholefamilywaswaiting对不起威利威利我们迫不及待再和你一起Oh,Willie,wecannotwaittoshovethatwonderful用一份苏格兰道歉肠迎接了我withopenarmsandanapologyhaggis.回到泥碳里一起喝威士忌noseofyoursinthebogsagainandtakeourwhiskey喝到烂醉rightbacktothetop.威利是唯一理解我的愤怒的人Williewastheonepersonwhounderstoodmyanger.我们之前发的疯现在却变得毫无意义了Nowit'slikeallourscreamingmeantnothing.我讨厌的一切都在这儿了Yeah,well,everythingIhateaboutthesethingsiscomingtrue.我们才到这里加死人的勾搭已经开始了Wejustgothere,andtheweirdhook-upshavealreadystarted.那么请问多拉小姐结婚了吗So,istherealunchMr.Dora?威利和梅茜的婚礼妈妈凭什么丽莎就可以Mom,howcomeLisadoesn'thavetodo不用参加这肉麻的婚礼allthislovey-doveyweddingcrap?你妹妹又不是学校卫生员的好朋友Well,yoursisterisn,tbestfriendswiththeschooljanitor,所以她一个人去爱堡旅行了soshewentofftotourEdinburghonherown.我已经摸到了大卫休谟雕像的脚趾Okay,1rubbedthetoeofDavidHume'sstatue.爬了沃尔特斯科特纪念碑IclimbedtheWalterScottmonument.ThePn)ClaimerS苏格兰著名乐队牙医诊所此广♥告♥语借了乐队名曲I'mGonnaBe(500Miles)修复你的500次的笑容品尝了苏格兰鸡蛋Iatesomethingcalledascotchegg,心有余悸whichIverymuchregret.爱堡艺稗节Thefringefestival.讽刺实验戏剧Acelebrationoftheatricalirony欢迎来到爱丁堡艺穗节和自我反思的艺术集♥会♥andself-awareness.售票亭我要一张音乐剧演出的票OneforMusical:ThePlay,please.抱歉亲爱的这个售票亭是在表演售票亭Sorry,darling,thisticketboothisTicketBooth,一个关于售票亭的独角戏aone-manshowaboutaticketbooth.如果你想在这儿看售票亭IfyouwanttobuyaticketforTicketBooth,售票亭的售票点在那边theTicketBoothticketboothisoverthere.不用演技却充满独创性It,ssocleverwithoutbeinggood.威利和梅茜的婚礼感谢大家加入我们的爱之旅Thanksforjoiningusonourlovehike从荒野到泽地fromMoorlandheathtoHeathlandmoor.让我们轻柔漫步Andnow,agentlestroll穿过爱丁堡的七座小山throughthesevenhillsofEdinburgh.为什么山不能长在下坡上Aw,whycan'tallhillsgodown?威利和梅茜的婚礼周末安排上午11:00爱之旅:从荒野到泽地看看这些花里胡哨还强制参加的Andlookatallthiscutesyromanticcrap浪漫互动活动they,reforcingustodo.我什么时候才能有空闲时间WhenamIgonnagetsomefreetime?!听着是你把我们拖到这儿来的1.isten,mister,you,retheonewhodraggedushere,花光了一辈子攒的飞行里程spendingalifetimeoffrequent-fliermiles,我不会让你毁了这一切andmnotgonnaletyouruinthisforme.所以难受就憋着Sohowaboutyoujustsuckitup给我参加这些可爱的互动活动anddothecuteactivities?哈格斯苏格兰传统菜烹饪课下午12:00*如果你发现自己坠入爱河*Ifyoufindyourselfcaughtinlove*请向上帝祈祷*Sayaprayertothemanabove*为你知道的一切感谢他*Thankhimforeverythingyouknow*艺粳节剧目单三个吃麦片的高个子男人*为你的卷一次呼吸感谢他*Youshouldthankhimforeverybreathyoublow*脱衣单身派对下午2:00*如果你发现自己坠入爱河*Ifyoufindyourselfcaughtinlove*请向上帝祈祷*Sayaprayertothemanabove*艺穗节节目单第四堵墙彩排晚宴晚上8点*为安全度过每一日感谢他*Thankhimforeverydayyoupass*感谢他拯救了你*Youshouldthankhimforsavingyoursorryass贝尔和塞巴斯蒂安的故事丽莎我要问点之前我从来没问过的事1.ook,Lis,mgonnaaskyouforsomething你对此有什么想法veneveraskedbefore.Youropinion.整个旅途你真的Youliterallyhaven'tsaidawordtome一个字没和我说过thisentiretrip.现在我说了行了吧Well,nowIam,okay?和威利一起第一次让我感到HangingoutwithWilliewastheonetime我不是唯一疯了的人IeverfeltIwasn'ttheonlycrazyone,有人能感同身受thatsomeoneunderstoodme.但现在他和这女生走了Andnowhe'sgonegoo-gooforthisgirl她家还把他搞成这样whosefamilyscrewedhimover.我该怎么办WhatdoIdo?当一个人终于能Well,whensomeonegetsachance终结孤独的时候toputanendtotheirloneliness,他们会紧握theygottatakeit.你有见威利这么开心过吗HaveyoueverseenWilliethishappy?以色列搏击术课上史金纳被痛扁NotevenwhenSkinnergotkickedintheface他都没这么开心过attheKravMagaassembly.所以为他的快乐而快乐吧Sobehappyforhishappiness.梅茜So,Maisie,再和我讲讲你们的浪漫童话吧tellmemoreaboutyourfairy-taleromance.你们简直是快乐的史莱克You'reliketwoshreksinaswamp.还是老故事啦Aw,it'sthesameoldstory.一见钟情惺惺相惜Numptymeetsbird,theystarttodoggin',高山流水遇知音gettoldeachisdeid,thenreunite顺理成章颠鸾倒凤andpickrightupagainwiththehochmagandy.太浪漫了That'ssoromantic.不像天呢Unlike.ugh.阿里斯泰尔风味匠心之作纽约客披萨我要致辞Youknowwhat,mmakingatoast.铛铛铛Clink,clink,clink,clink,clink.都闭嘴听我说Shutup,everybody.看这对新人沐浴在爱里1.ookatthesekids,soinlove.侯默和我刚在一起的时候WhenHomerandIfirstgottogether.我们也这样wewerethesame.我们的手都无法松开Wecouldn'tkeepourhandsoffeachother.现在我们却任凭厄运践踏我们的生活NowWejustspendeverynightdoom-scrollingourlifeaway,看松鼠在鳄鱼脊上驰骋andwatchingasquirrelsurfonthebackofanalligator.马姬唾弃我们的婚姻这种事Marge!Trashingourmarriageissomethingthatshould只该在隐秘的家里进行onlybedoneintheprivacyofourhome.这就是老夫老妻的浪漫Andthat'sourromancefortheages.开始于迷你高尔夫风车里的-&hearts液♥情♥Itbeganwithawildnightinamini-golfwindmill,而现在andnow.你怎么能这么说Howcanyousaythat?!城♥堡&hearts渐首室里的行为Thisistheworstthingthat'severhappened都没你残忍♥inthebeheadingroomofthiscastle.巴仔我要感谢你带我回梅茜身边Bart,IwanttothankyouforbringingmebacktoMaisie.我从未这么开心过I'veneverbeensohappy.好吧我好像懂了Youknow,IthinkIgetit.好孩子所以我要给你Goodlad.That'swhymgivingyou婚礼超重要的角色averyimportantroleinthewedding.将由你来领舞You'regoingtoleadthedance.刻薄的美♥国♥佬♥Ooh,aspikeyAmerican.不要男人不让男人失望的No!Mendon'tletmendown!我们的蛋糕Ourcake.这下你要喂什么给我吃Nowwhatwillyoushoveinmygob?你这混♥蛋♥Youweebastard.你毁了我的婚礼Youruinedmywedding.那最好Good.这就是你在美国交到的唯一朋友吗That'stheonlyfriendthatyoumadeinAmerica?对Aye.我的头老侯你宿醉时候Oh,myhead.Homie,whatdoyoutake都吃什么forahangover?Huh?好啊就这么办Oh,fine,bethatway.只有这么一次酒后吐真言的人是我Foronce,mtheonewhospoketruthwhiledrunk逃避争吵是吧Oh-oh.Runningawayfromafight,huh?!我仍然在生你的气Well,mstillmadatyou!我也仍然在生你的气Well,mstillmadatyou!你和所有人说我不在乎浪漫YoutoldeveryonethatIdon'tcareaboutromance,现在他们都说侯默辛普森andnowtheythinkHomerSimpsonisvanilla就是个金针菇inthesack!侯默辛普森就是个金针菇HomerSimpsonisvanillainthesack!就是个金针菇Vanillainthesack!就是个金针菇Vanillainthesack!就是个金针菇Vanillainthesack!床上功夫差Badatsex!真不敢相信我居然曾敬仰那家伙Ican'tbelieveIeverlookeduptothatguy.蠢威利StupidWillie.蠢威利StupidWillie.没人觉得他能是个人物Thatnobodythinkshecanbeamacweldon?他只有鼻子好用Ha!Allhe'sgoodforishisnose.等他们结婚后威利会好好的闻出Oncethey'remarried,Williewillsniffout哪里能有大量的泥煤amotherlodeofgoodpeat.然后他就彻底出局Andthenhe,sout!再然后梅茜就可以找到一个如意郎君AndthenMaisiecanfindaproperhusband,而不是什公给地板打蜡的清洁工notsomefloor-waxingpuke-mopper.整件事居然是利用威利的圈套ThiswholethingwasasetuptouseWillie?那女孩根本不爱他吗Thatgirldoesn'tevenlovehim?你们为什么要这样对我的朋友Whywouldyoudothattomyfriend?你这偷听怯懦又胆小的东西Weesleekitcowerin'timerousbeasties不该随便乱打听别人的事情shouldn'tsticktheirnebsinotherpeople'sbizzo.我根本没听懂你在说什么Ihavenoideawhatyoujustsaid.但我好像明白你的意思了B-ButIgetthecontext.让我出去-你就在这1.etmeout!-Oh,no,you'restayingrighthere老实和你唯一的娱乐克里巴奇牌戏待着吧withyouronlyentertainment,thiscribbageboard.木钉在哪里Hey,wherearethepegs?他们在这小暗格里Oh,they'reinthislittledrawer.侯默永远都不会明白这有多甜蜜Homerwouldnevergethowsweetthisis.我怎么会最终和世界上最不浪漫的人走到一起How'dIwindupwiththemostunromanticmanonearth?看这个他为什么要在婚礼上给我发信息Whyishetextingmeduringawedding?截然不同的动物朋友小猩猩和海豚截然不同的动物朋友小猩猩和海豚它们本不该在一起但它们就在一起Theyshouldn'tbetogether,buttheyare.侯默Homer!马姬Marge!你收到我发的猩猩海豚视频了吗Didyougetmygorilla-dolphinvideo?它们那么截然不同就像我们俩Itwassounlikely,justlikeus.所以我才发给你看That'swhyIsentittoyou!我真的很抱歉msorry1trashedourmarriage在婚礼彩排上贬低我们的婚姻inarehearsaldinnertoast.我