Parks and Recreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第七季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

在你们面前是六种不同的婚礼蛋糕Infrontofyouaresixdifferentweddingcakes来自Pawnee的顶级餐厅fromthetoprestaurantsinPawnee.分别尝一下然后在提供的投票中排出你们最喜欢的两种Sampleeachone,andrankyourtwotopfavoritesintheballotsprovided.哦天它们都太棒了我选不出两个啊Oh,boy.They'reallsogood.Ican'tpickjusttwo.嗯那你走吧TerryWell,thenyouleave,Terry.而且已经吃了的蛋糕要付钱Andpayforthecakeyoualreadyate.我喜欢有柠檬奶油的香草那个Ilikethevanillaonewiththelemoncream.那是个我从杂货店买♥♥的玩笑蛋糕用来淘汰低素质鉴赏家的ThatwasajokecakeIgotfromthegrocerystoretoweedoutlow-qualitypalates.或许因为他是我未婚夫而我爱他Maybeit,sbecausehe,smyfiance,andIlovehim,但我也有点喜欢杂货店的那个butIkindoflikethegrocerystoreone,too.实际上还有一个蛋糕你们没尝试过There'sactuallyonemorecakeyouhaven'ttriedyet.Donna选择我作为她婚礼的首席管家Donnahaschosenmetobethebutlerofhonoratherwedding.诚然首席管家是我编造出来的名称Nowgranted,butlerofhonorisatermImadeup,但这不是我♥草♥率对待的工作butit'snotajobItakelightly.因此我准备给她一个惊喜That'swhymabouttogiveherasurprisebigger比勒布朗詹姆斯回归迈阿密还要大的惊喜thanwhenLeBronwentbacktoMiami.哦天啊DJ钝吗Oh,myGod.D)Bluntz?选择发生什么了Whatishappeningrightnow?我觉得你知道发生什么了Ithinkyouknowwhat'shappening.但是-但是说真的发牛发生什么了But-butforreal,though.What-what'shappening?款待自己Treatyo'self.*2017款待自己*JTreatyo'self2017J哦天啊这是来真的吗Oh,myGod,isthisforreal?哦就是真的好吧Oh,it'sforreal.-Okay.而且是最隆重的一次Andit'sthebiggestoneyet.我-我还是不知道发生什么了所以发生什么了I-Istilldon'tknowwhat'shappening.Sowhat,shappening?款待自己Treatyo,self.没回答我的问题啊Notananswertomyquestion.哦天啊看看蛋糕吧Oh,myGod,readthecake.还是不清楚啊Terry发-发生什么了啊Stillunclear.Terry,w-what,shappening?款待自己Treatyo,self!*这是一年中最好的一天*JIt'sthebestdayoftheyearJ公园与游憩公园与游憩第7季第6集第7季第6集ROSCoe这个镇的人对Gryzzl的数据挖掘程序非常生气Roscoe,peopleinthistownareveryangryaboutGryzzsdata-miningprogram.在你看来你们做错了什么事情吗Inyouropinion,haveyoudoneanythingwrong?我们不相信我们做了任何侵犯人们隐私的事情TroddWedidnotbelievethatwedidanythingtoinvadepeople,sprivacy,Trodd.但然后我们检查我们顾客和他们爱的人之间上千的邮件和短♥信♥Butthen,Wecheckedthousandsofemailsandtextsbetweenourcustomersandtheirlovedones,看起来人们觉得我们是错的anditseemedlikepeoplethoughtwewerewrong.Gryzzl目前正试图买♥♥下一块巨大的土地Gryzzscurrentlytryingtobuyanenormousparcelofland来在Pawnee建造一个永久的总部tobuildapermanentheadquartersinPawnee.你们要如何重新赢得我们的信任呢Howwillyouwinbackourtrust?我们要举办一场免费演唱会邀请U2和BeyonceWe'regoingtobethrowingafreeconcertwithU2andBeyonce.门票已经发到你们手♥机♥里了Ticketsarealreadyonyourphones.作为会根据收入和性历史进行安排Seatingisgoingtobeorganizedbyincomeandsexualhistory.而那我发誓是我们最后一次窥视你们的电脑了Andthat,Iswear,isthelasttimethatwewillbepeekinginsideyourcomputers.哇Gryzzl已经混乱了Wow.Gryzzlisscrambling.在这次土地之争中的首次他们是脆弱的一方Andforthefirsttimeinthislandbattle,theyarevulnerable,而我们要用重大而激动的东西从中获利andwearegonnacapitalizeonitwithsomethingbigandexciting.我有重大而激动的东西vegotsomethingbigandexciting.我们只需要一艘飞艇和一艘诱饵飞艇AllWeneedisablimpandadecoyblimp.好吧我希望这是最后一次说但我猜肯定不是最后一次Okay,forwhatIhopeisthelasttime,butwillassumeisnotthelasttime,我们的策略不包括飞艇我们已经有主意了Aprilourstrategydoesnotinvolveblimps.Wealreadyhaveanidea.April?好的我们新的提案是请他们分一部分土地Okay,ournewproposalwillaskthemtosplittheland.Gryzzl拿一半的土地来建园区Gryzzlwilltakehalffortheircampus,然后把余下的捐给国家公园部andthendonatetheresttoNationalParks.这不理想但他们可能会答应因为他们现在搞得太砸rIt,snotideal,buttheymaygoforitbecauseofhowbadtheyscrewedup.我不是间谍我永远不会披露机密信息Iamnotaspy,andIwouldneverrevealclassifiedinformation.你必须每次都这么说吗-是的Doyouhavetosaythateverytime?-Yes.但我知道Gryzzl坚决要拥有整块土地ButIknowGryzzlisdead-setonowningtheentireparcel.我不确定这个方案行得通mnotsurethisplanwillwork.嗯如果行不通也总有办法的Well,ifitdoesn't,somethingwill.因为当你和我合作时会发生伟大的事情BecausewhenyouandIteamup,greatthingshappen.Ron和我有一点点失和但我们回来了宝贝RonandIhadalittlefallingout,butweareback,baby.就像JoeyFatone和LanCeBass-一样我们完全同步AndjustlikeJoeyFatoneandLanceBass,wearetotallyinsync.NSYNC组合的成员来吧好吧Comeon.Okay.就给我一个Justgivemea.哦我们情感上是同步的别拍我的头了Oh.We,reinsyncemotionally.Stoppattingmyhead.哈看起来NeWPort信托要发布通告了Huh.LookslikeNewportTrustismakinganannouncement.上周Newport信托非常肯定地告诉Gryzzl1.astweek,theNewportTrusttoldGryzzl,innouncertainterms,我们不会和一个侵犯我们隐私的公♥司♥做生意thatwewouldnotdobusinesswithacompanythatinvadesourprivacy.然后Gryzzl将报价提高到了1.25亿美元Then,Gryzzluppedtheirofferto$125million,所以我对天发誓你们啊我几乎晕掉了andIsweartoGod,y,all,Inearlyfainted.所以我们正式提前以1.25亿的价格卖♥♥给Gryzzl了SoweareofficiallyjumpingthegunandsellingtoGryzzlfor$125million.什么What?让我重复一遍因为这让我欲♥火♥中烧1.etmerepeatthat,becauseitmakesmeveryhorny.1.25亿美元啊-来吧Knope$125million!-Comeon,Knope.要不我们去把悲伤泡在华夫饼里吧Howaboutwegodrownoursorrowsinsomewaffles?*款待自己*嘿老板JTreatyo'selfJ-Hey,boss.你走之前能签点支票吗Beforeyougo,canyousignsomechecks?先签我的Dominefirst.如果你发生了什么事我想保证我能拿到钱IncasesomethinghappenstoyouIwanttomakesureIgetpaid.先照顾自己总是很聪明呢1.ookingoutfornumberone.Alwayssmart.所以分手后的生活如何呢So,howispost-breakuplife?嗯分手是出了名的超级好玩Well,breakupsarefamouslysuperfun让所有人感觉超棒所以这次也没区别andmakeeveryonefeelawesome,soit,snodifferent.你该来参加我的婚礼Youshouldcometomywedding.会非常好玩的It,sgonnabehellafun.是啊你应该跟我一起来Yeah,youshouldcomewithme.作为陪伴的那种Aslikea.plus-onetypething.或者我们就以呃工作朋友的身份Maybewejustgoas,uh.asworkfriends.或者就甚至你知道老板雇员那种Maybeit,sjusteven,youknow,boss,employeetypething.你知道吗你应该那么做Youknowwhat?That,swhatyoushoulddo.你应该来婚礼然后然后然后做文书工作Youshouldcometotheweddingandandanddopaperwork.别说了你让这事听起来几乎太好玩了Stop,you'remakingthissoundalmosttoofun.无所谓了决定了就给我发短♥信♥Whatever.Justtextmewhenyoudecide.我真的完全不在乎所以Iliterallycouldn'tcareless,so.是啊我们走DonnaYeah.Let'shitit,Donna.呃我们能聊聊你刚刚和Lucy的灾难性♥交♥流吗Um,canwetalkaboutthatdisastrousinteractionyoujusthadwithLucy?不我们聊的只有款待自己Nope.Allwe'retalkingaboutistreatingyo'self.今天只是关于一件事的Todayisaboutonething:物质Things.物质啊Donna我们的最爱Things,Donna.Ourfavorite.嗯钝要带我们去哪儿啊这不是去商场的路啊Well,whereisBluntztakingus?Thisisnotthewaytothemall.那是因为我们才不去商场呢That's'causewe'renotgoingtothemall.我们终于要做我们一直聊的事情了We'refinallygonnadosomethingwe'vealwaystalkedabout.不是吧Noway.款待自己Treatyo'self.*在比弗利山庄*JInBeverlyHills!J啊Aah!我想要的只是65平方公里的价值一亿美元的土地免费给我AllIwantedwas25squaremilesoflandvaluedat$100milliongiventomeforfree.这个要求太过分了吗-我再说一遍Isthattoomuchtoask?-llsayitagain:巫术依然是个选择Voodooisstillanoption.不结束了他们赢了No.It'sover.Theywon.一切都要变了这个镇十年后我就不认识了Everythingischanging.Thistownisgoingtobeunrecognizableintenyears.甚至JJ餐厅都要消失了EvenJJ'sDinerisdisappearing.我能给你们来点啥Whatcan1getyouguys?多上华夫饼多到能让你继续营业为I上Howevermanywafflesittakestokeepyouinbusiness.虽然我对Pawnee经历的一部分改变还是很开心mhappywithsomeofthechangesthatPawneehasgonethrough.我是说生活水平上升了Imean,thestandardoflivingisup.我们有榨果汁吧瑜伽教室还有家宠物酒店Wehavepressedjuicebarsandyogastudiosandapethotel.但我觉得这个镇失去了它的一些魅力ButIthinkthetownislosingsomeofitscharm.而且现在的甘蓝也太多了Andthere'stoomuchkalenow.有家店问我奶昔里要不要加甘蓝OneplaceaskedmeifIwantedkaleinmymilkshake.奶昔啊朋友们Mymilkshake,youguys.虽然我坚定信仰自♥由♥市场EventhoughI'mafirmbelieverinthefreemarket,而这种状况终归是你作为商人的失败andyourfailureasabusinessmanisultimatelytoblame,但你的餐厅关门依然太拙劣了it'sstillatravestyyourdinerisclosing.嗯我同意你的观点Well,Iagreewithyou.但买♥♥下这块地&hearts产♥的那个家伙Buttheguywhoboughttheproperty甚至没给我续约的机会didn'tevengivemeachancetore-upthelease.你没法赢他们所有人的Youcan'twin,emall.不我受够了No.Enoughisenough.他们可能已经拿走了土地但如果他们拿走我的华夫饼我真的会气死Theymayhavetakenthatland,butIwillbedamnediftheytakemywaffles.JJ.-有什么问题吗JJ.-Issomethingwrong?不这里从来都没有问题No,nothingiseverwronghere.所以我们才会努力抗争挽救你的餐厅That'swhywearegonnafighthardtosaveyourdiner.你刚刚说你的新房♥东没给你机会反抗Nowyousaidyournewlandlorddidn'tgiveyouachancetocounter.是谁呢Whoisit?是一个有奇怪名字的公♥司♥Itwasacompanywithaweird-soundingname.等等是普♥京♥吗Hangon.-WasitPutin?伏地魔普♥京♥吗VoldermortPutin?俄♥国♥那个OfRussia?我想死打败那个混♥蛋♥了dlovetotakethatbastarddown.给"大腿缝有限公&hearts词♥"Hereitis.ThighGap,LLC.所有者DenniSFeinstein-古龙水那家伙吗OwnerDennisFeinstein.-Thecologneguy?哦我想也是那家伙是最烂的Oh,itfigures.Thatguyistheworst.好吧Okay.我们要用-场老式的公共集♥会&hearts汗掉他Wearegonnatakehimdownwithanold-fashionedpublicrally.APriI我需要你把话传出去April,Ineedyoutogetthewordout,用不惯你们现在的年轻人用的什么交流方式withwhatevermethodofcommunicationyoungpeopleareusingthesedays.哦是啊训练狐狸送的小卷纸条Oh,yeah,tinyrolled-upscrollsdeliveredbytrainedfoxes.我出发了-Andymonit.-Andy?你想的和我一样吗-哦当然了飞艇时间到Youthinkingwhatmthinking?-Oh,hellyeah.Blimptime.不No.我觉得这份工作适合JonathanKarate出场IthinkthisisajobforJonathanKarate.太棒了更好了-ROn你怎么说Awesome.Evenbetter.-Ron?Whatdoyousay?黄金二人组为了拯救JJ餐厅再次出击DynamicduogettogetheronemoretimetotrytosaveJJ,sDiner?比起为培根和鸡蛋战斗我想不到更高尚的理由了Ican'tthinkofanythingmorenobletogotowaroverthanbaconandeggs.同意Hear,hear.哦嗯Oh,well.我们会持续练习的We'llkeeppracticing.好了各位挺好了Allright,everybody,listenup.我们今天在这里是因为JJ餐厅41年来都是Pawnee的一部分We'reheretodaybecauseJJ,sDinerhasbeenapartofPawneefor41years.而这个男人是从一无所有建起了这座餐厅Andthismanrightherebuiltthatdinerfromthegroundup用的是他自己的双手withhisowntwohands.不是这样的That'snottrue.这叫做构建叙事)It'scalledconstructinganarrative,JJ.你继续做早餐我来处理政♥治♥的事Yousticktothebreakfast.11dealwiththepolitics.所以现在我们来听听一个了解事物维持不变的价值的男人So,now,let'shearfromamanwhoknowsthevalueofthingsstayingthesame.RonSwansonRonSwanson.我不喜欢集♥会♥Idonotlikerallies.而基于我在这个高地上看到的一切我也不喜欢你们大多数人AndbasedonwhatIseefromthisvantagepoint,Idonotlikemostofyou.但我确实喜欢早餐食物WhatIdolikeisbreakfastfood.JJ家有非常好的早餐食物所以应该持续营业JJ'shasverygoodbreakfastfood,soitshouldremainopen.请勿在此事结束之后在街上走近我与我搭话Pleasedonotapproachmeonthestreetafterthiseventandattempttotalktome.我们的相似点开始和结束于这一个问题Oursimilaritiesbeginandendwiththissingleissue.RonSwansonRonSwanson.有什么事吗是的我们来这里见DennisFeinsteinCanIhelpyou?-Yes,weareheretoseeDennisFeinstein.预约应该在Karate名下TheappointmentshouldbeunderKarate.JonathanKarateJonathanKarate.呃我没在哪里看到JonathanKarate啊Um,Idon,tseeaJonathanKarateanywhere.正是Exactly.偶尔在我的节目上我们会处理一些真正的问题比如霸凌同伴压力Occasionallyonmyshow,wedealwithrealissueslikebullying,peerpressure,或者憋住屁orholdinginfarts.在那些非常特别的集数里我成为Inthoseveryspecialepisodes,Ibecome.JonathanKarateJonathanKarate,JohnnyKarate非常严肃的哥哥theveryseriousolderbrotherofJohnnyKarate.JonathanKarate非常实事求是JonathanKaratetellsitlikeitis.他让人们做正确的事情Hemakespeopledotherightthing.哦宝贝那感觉也太棒了Oh,baby,thatfeelsamazing.但很抱歉我必须要走了Butmsorry.mgonnahavetogo.我得在卡米哈米哈大帝俱乐部见Rick和TCIhavetomeetRickandTCattheKingKamehamehaClub.Higgins不见了-DennisFeinsteinHigginsismissing.-DennisFeinstein.啥那是谁啊What?Who'sthat?我的名字是JonathanKarateMynameisJonathanKarate.我们得聊聊Weneedtotalk.嗯搞快点我得在十分钟之后干掉我爹Well,makeitquick.Igottagopulltheplugonmydadintenminutes.我听说你要收♥购♥JJ餐厅把所有人都踢走IheardyouwerebuyingJJ'sDinerandkickingeverybodyout.确实是这样That'strue.这个屎镇的房♥地&hearts产♥价格冲破天了Realestatepricesinthisturdtownarethroughtheroof我要把那个地方改成手肘艺术沙龙发笔横财mgonnaturnthatplaceintoanelbowartsalonandmakeakilling.而且谁会想念那个矮胖餐厅啊Plus,who'sgonnamisssomedumpydiner?要不你问问现在聚集在你大楼外面的那群人呢Whydon'tyouaskthepeoplegatheringoutsideofyourbuildingrightnow?啊-我们要什么Hmm?-Whatdowewant?早餐我们何时要Breakfast!-Whendowewantit?我不知道那个地方如此深受喜爱Ihadnoideathisplacewassoloved.这可能对生意有坏影响-那就跟我来Thiscouldbebadforbusiness.-Thencomewithme.告诉人们JJ's能留下TellthepeoplethatJJ'scanstay.好吧Okay.而且你应该把孩子们都带出去Plus,youshouldgetthesekidsoutofhere.不想吹但我的古龙水出了名地会妨碍人类生长所以Nottobrag,butmycologne'shavebeenknowntostunthumangrowth,so.忍♥者们散开Ninjas,scatter.你真是给他们训练有素啊Yougot'emwelltrained.*在贝弗利山庄款待自己*JTreatyo'selfinBeverlyHillsDonna-Donna-DonnaDonna.-Donna.-Donna.看这边拜托-看这边看这边Righthere,please.-Righthere,righthere.女士们先生们右手边你们能看到的是1.adiesandgentlemen,offtoourrightyoucanseethehouseBruceWillis和ChristinaAguilera的房♥子thatbelongstoBruceWillisandChristinaAguilera.均为著名歌♥手及演员而我们的左边是Usher在洛杉矶的住所AndtoourleftisUsher'sLosAngelesresidence.Usher的房♥子哦Usher'shouse!Usher的星星哦Usher'sstar!所以基本的肘部闪亮是140Soforthebasicelbowbedazzling,it,s140.自定义图案250起Customartstartsat250.我想要三个超大钻石Iwouldlikethreebig-assdiamonds分别被各自的一圈超小钻石环绕surroundedbytheirownsetoftiny-assdiamonds.那是我们分在至尊系列的Thatwouldfallunderoursupremecollection.600600.Thomas你的建议呢-呃款待自己Thomas,whatdoyousuggest?-Uh.treatyo,self.TriSh这位先生是对的Trish,thegentlemanisright.我要继续款待自己了mgonnagoaheadandtreatmyself.指甲激光手术吗那是我想到的啊1.asikforfingernails?Icameupwiththat.你要来吗价格是275Youwantit?It,s275.是啊Yeah.请把我的指甲激光掉吧1.asermynailsoff,please.我们不能把我们的全部历史推平了Wecan'tbulldozeourentirehistory.我们需要保护让Pawnee伟大的东西WeneedtopreservethethingsthatmakePawneegreat.比如JJ餐厅1.ikeJJ,sDiner.哇哇哇哇哇哇停下Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa.Stoptheclock.哦说到恶魔女士们先生们恶魔本人DennisFeinsteinOh,speakofthedevil.Ladiesandgentlemen,thedevil,DennisFeinstein.哇嘿现在Whoa,hey,now.稍等Hangon.现在Leslie我觉得所有人会想听到我要说的话Now,Leslie,Ithinkeverybody'sgonnawanttohearwhatIhavetosay.1射谢Thankyou.Pawnee人们PeopleofPawnee,我刚刚下来是想告诉你们Ijustcamedownheretotellyou我多赞赏你们的热情howmuchIappreciateyourpassion.你们的话我听到了清晰明白You'vebeenheard,loudandclear.你们说服我了Youconvincedme.JJ,s可以留下-耶JJ'scanstay.-Yeah!我就还有以及那是要说PawneeIjusthaveonemorethingtosay,Pawnee.骗你们的Psych!你们觉得我在乎你们多爱那个傻♥逼&hearts濯厅吗DoyouthinkIcareabouthowmuchyoulovethisstupiddiner?我买♥♥下来的时候便宜得要死然后我会卖♥♥一大笔Iboughtitforasong,andmgonnasellitforamint,你们就都坐在这自己打飞机吧andyoucanalljustsitthere,pullingonyourpuds.哦耶随你们怎么呸你们的憎恨只会更鼓励我Oh,yeah.Givemeyourboos.1amnourishedbyyourhatred!我还应该让你们知道你们都是擅自进入私人地♥产♥Ishouldalsoletyouknowyou'realltrespassingonprivateproperty.放猎犬什么猎犬啊Releasethehounds!-Whathounds?“猎犬"是我开♥发♥的一款被药监局拒绝发♥售♥的古龙水"TheHounds"asinFDA-rejectedcolognevebeenworkingon让所有东西闻起来像湿狗thatmakeseverythingsmelllikewetdog.大洒一场Makeitrain!哦我得去杀了我爹了我们走Ooh.Igottagokillmydad.Let'sgo.抱歉了JJ我给了你虚假的希望msorry,JJ,thatIgaveyoufalsehope.这事没希望了就跟我的盘公园一样Thisisalostcause,justlikemystupidpark.去他的肯定有其他办法的Screwthat.There,sgottabeanotherway.如果我们偷走Feinstein大楼的钥匙WhatifwestealthekeystoFeinstein'sbuilding,破门而入然后在他办公室里扔卫生纸呢breakin,andTPhisoffice?整个事情拍下来我们绝对能上恶作剧节目的Filmthewholething.We'ddefinitelygetonaprankshow.好吧我爱你的能量AndyOkay,Iloveyourenergy,Andy,但这对把JJ留在这里是没有帮助的butit'snotgonnahelpuskeepJJ'swhereitis.它必须要呆在这里吗Doesithavetostaywhereitis?Andy和我住的位置有就一大堆建筑There'slike,atonOfbuildingsnearwhereAndyandIlive,他们全都超级便宜因为他们又空旷又恶心andthey'reallsupercheapbecausethey'reemptyanddisgusting.太好了我加入只要能远离这种古龙水味道就行Great.min.Anythingtogetawayfromthiscolognesmell.哦冲水更糟糕了冲水更糟糕了,Ooh,watermakesitworse.Watermakesitworse.这是洛杉矶最热门的餐厅ThisisthehottestrestaurantinL.A.所有寿司的肉都来自于名人养过的鱼Allthesushiismadefromfishpreviouslyownedbycelebrities.好的Okay.这是查理兹塞隆的黄条螂iThisisCharlizeTheron'syellowtail.这里是演员保罗雷瑟的三文鱼HerewehavePaulReiser'ssalmon.还有导演PeterBogdanovich的盐水鳗鱼AndPeterBogdanovich'ssaltwatereel.请享用Enjoy.嗯Bogdano美味啊Mmm,Bogdano-delish.天啊你真是陷进去了啊Man,yougotit