modern family 106 p1209章节台词文本.docx

摩登家庭ModernFamilySeason11Episode15Part1第十一季第十五集你你还醒着吗Are-Areyouawake?我大概两小时前睡了6分钟Isleptforsixminutestwohoursago.我得去服一片安♥眠♥药♥mgonnahavetotakeasleepingpill,这意味着你得负责藏好我的车钥匙whichmeansyou'regonnahavetohidemycarkeys,电脑和乡村女歌♥手芮芭麦克伊泰假发laptop,andRebaMcEntirewig.最近几天快把人折磨疯了It,sbeenacrazycoupledays.昨天我发现我没得到Uh,yesterday,IfoundoutIdidn,tget我努力追求的大学橄榄球教练工作thecollegefootballcoachingjobthatIhadbeenchasing.我我伤心欲绝Iwas-Iwasdevastated.就在那之前片刻Andmomentsbeforethat,我们收到曾经的领养机构打来的电♥话♥wegotaphonecallfromouroldadoptionagency说我们有领养一个男孩的机会withtheopportunityforustoadoptababyboy.上帝关上一扇门So,adoorcloses.就会给你打开一扇窗但是你该去应窗吗Awindowopens.Butdoyouanswerit?没有“应衡”这个说法Youdon'tanswerwindows.你一定开心死了吧小卡说错话呢Well,howfunforyou.Cammadealittlemistake.我不断在脑海里列举这事的各种利弊Ikeepmakinglistsofalltheprosandconsinmyhead.婴儿身上的气味既算利也算弊Uh,the-thewayababysmellsisonboth.好吧说说利项开始Okay,alright.Pros,go.好的有个孩子让我们爱孩子咯咯笑的声音Okay,well,ababytolove.Thesoundofgiggling.一个更大的家庭u202dYouknow,abiggerfamily,等我们老了就多个人来决定要不要拔管anextravoteonwhethertopulltheplugonuswhenwegetold.我担心莉莉个性一触即发手抖就拔mworriedthatLilyhasanitchytriggerfinger.是啊再养个孩子就能帮我们搞清楚Yeah,andanotherchildwouldhelpusfigureout莉莉的性格有多少是我们的问题howmuchofLily'spersonalityisourfault有多少是她自身的问题andwhat'sonher.能沉冤昭雪真的挺好的Itwouldbenicetobevindicated.再想想别的利项圣诞节Okay,otherpros-Christmases.将孩子的小脚趾第一次伸进海水里Dippinglittletoesintotheoceanforthefirsttime,以及小宝宝穿着睡衣跑向门thewayatoddlerruntowardsthedoor嘴里喊着“爹地"的小萌样儿intheirjammiessaying,"Daddy!"你快说几个弊项敲醒我Okay,you'dbetterhitmewithsomecons.我简直快要排卵了mpracticallyovulating.好吧没有觉睡车座要改换尿布Okay,nosleep,carseats,diapers,感冒咳嗽什么的经常要去看医生coughsandcolds,all-allthedoctor'sappointments,塑料玩具扔得到处都是到处都是-plastictoyseverywhere.-Everywhere.我们家本来就已经太小了Our-Ourplaceisalreadytoosmall.我们的卧室不够Wedon'thaveenoughbedrooms.天啊时间紧迫Oh,God,theclockisticking.我们只有半天时间就要给出答复了Wehavehalfadaytogivethemananswer.好了别胡思乱想了Okay,youknowwhat,nothinking.数到三一起说要还是不要Onthecountofthree,sayyesorno.One,two,three.我不知道-我决定不了-1don'tknow.-u202dIcan'tdecide!外面怎么有辆雪佛兰车还有个司机在等着WhyisthereablackSuburbanoutsidewithadriver?是我们公♥司♥派来的Mycompanysentit我要负责“希洛动力”mmanningtheHeloDynamicsbooth在加州理工学院的招聘会forthejobrecruitmentfairatCaltech.瞧瞧你有巨型SUV和专职司机接驾呢1.ookatyou,beingChauffeuredinagiantSUV.我想象你开车的样子是坐在丰田普锐斯车里哭WhenIpictureyoudriving,you'recryinginaPrius.别人给我开车我的确哭得少些Idocrylesswhenmdriven.你这身衣服也太正点了吧Andthatoutfitisonpoint.毕竟这对我来说是衣锦还乡凯♥旋♥而归Well,Imean,it's-it'ssortofatriumphantreturnforme.我在那个大学辛辛苦苦念了四年头发冒油懒得管Ispentfouryearsthereinsweats,withgreasyhair,一心只在乎成绩caringonlyaboutgrades.大家唯一一次注意到我Theonlytimeanyoneevernoticedme是我在期末考试周期间焦虑到把眉毛都拔光了waswhenIpulledoutallmyeyebrowsduringfinalsweek.现在我有份好工作住着奢华的公♥寓♥NowIhaveabigjob,swankyapartment,一双鞋的价钱比我第一个笔记本电脑还要贵shoesthatcostmorethanmyfirstlaptop.简直就像是部浪漫喜剧Oh,it'slikearom-com你寓开时是个书呆子归来时成了性感书呆子youleftanerdandreturnedahotnerd.说到性感的人Speakingofhotpeople,或许我也应该去为我们诺普公♥司♥招些人maybeIshouldgoandrecruitforNERP.出于法律原因Forlegalreasons,我们需要科学方面的人才来为产品背书weneedascience-ypersontoendorseproduct.毕竟我们这群大学没毕业的人Consideringwe,reallabunchofpeoplewhodidn'tgraduatecollege,卖♥♥的很多产品可是广被你们内服外用呢wesellalotofproductsthatgoinsideofyou.得了吧不是这么个操作法Yeah,no,itdoesn'treallyworkthatway.首先你必须获得邀请A,youhavetobeinvited,其次稍微自重点的科学家andB,noself-respectingscientist都不可能为你们公♥司♥售卖♥♥的智商税产品站台isgoingtoendorsethenonsenseyourcompanyispushing.瞎说什公呢我们出品的含铜牙膏Excuseme,butourcopper-infusedtoothpaste位列食品药品管理局的重点“监督”产品前十呢isontheFDA'stoptenitemstowatch,so.菲尔你能过来一下吗Phil!Phil,canyoucomeinhere?我为视频面试准备了一小段演讲展示veworkedupalittlepresentationformySkypeinterview,我希望听听你的意见反馈andIwouldlovetogetyourfeedback.好啊来吧Yes,please!我的魔术表演你一直都很捧场You,vebeensuchacheerleaderformewithallmymagicshows包括南加房♥宴我也很乐意支持你andSCARBdinners,dlovetobeyours.来吧Hitit.我必须这就打住你mgonnastopyourightthere.我已经好几个月没工作了vebeenoutofworkforafewmonths,我变得有点惴惴不安andvegottenkindaantsy.为排遣焦虑我试过打扫卫生整理物品Tochannelmyanxiety,Ihavecleaned,Ihaveorganized.或许有点强迫症的程度Perhapsabitobsessively.甚至去看了医生Doctorswereconsulted.就一个心理治疗师而已甚至不是真正的医生One-atherapist,sonotevenarealdoctor.但很快就停药了Butmedswerequicklydismissed.我们不想要性♥欲♥方面的副作用Wedidn,twantthesexualsideeffects.总之呢Anyway.我打算将我的焦虑转变成事业Iamgoingtochannelmyanxietyintoacareer.我即将面试我的梦想工作Iaminterviewingformydreamjob-我最爱的整理连锁店“收纳良品”的高级副总裁SeniorVPofmyfavoriteorganizingchainstore,organize'Em!我太激动了我可能会拥有一份整理msoexcited,Icouldhaveanorganaz-你不至于堕落到这地步You,rebetterthanthat.所以在整个面试过程中So,throughoutthecall,我会一直提到这个整理系统mgonnabereferringtothisorganizationalsystem这是我用“收纳良品”的产品制♥作♥的thatIcreatedusingtheOrganize'Emproducts.-聪明是啊瞧好了-Smart.-u202dYeah.Watch.贝克曼女士这观点可真有趣Oh,Ms.Beckman,whataninterestingpoint.我应该记下来Ishouldjotthatdown.那是什么鬼声音Whatthehellisthat?天啊什么Oh,myGod.What?对了我忘了告诉你你&hearts爸♥过来给我帮忙Oh,yeah,Iforgottotellyou,yourdadcameovertohelpme.我打算把楼梯修好Igottafixthatstep.它裂开了Itsplintered.我早上没踩稳结果就脑袋着地了Iwipedoutthismorningandlandedonmyhead.好吧但我得面试啊Yeah,butmycall.我们必须赶紧修好否则有人会受伤的Wegottatakecareofthatbeforesomeonegetshurt.已经有人受伤了Someonedid.万一是海莉抱着孩子摔了怎么办或者迪兰Imean,whatifitwasHaleywiththebabies?OrDylan?或者或者我我都摔吐了-Or.?-u202d0rme.Ithrewup.我的天昨天歌♥洛莉亚还是穿着高跟鞋来的HolyMoses.Gloriawashereyesterdayinheels.她也可能会摔得很惨的Thatcould'vebeenugly.我昏昏欲睡msleepy.小子你得挪开不然你会把别人绊倒的Buddy,yougottamove.Someone,sgonnatripoveryou.各位你们不能现在干这事明白吗Hey,guys,wecan'tdothisrightnow,okay?我1:23时有个面试vegotvegotaninterviewat1:23.这时间定得好具体Well,that'sspecific.不对奥黛丽贝克曼来说不算什么No,notforAudreyBeckman.她的整个人生安排都精确到秒Herwholelifeisscheduleddowntothesecond.她简直是强迫症人群的神She'sagodtoOCDpeople.不然你以为我什么要买♥♥那个保险杠贴纸Whydoyouthinkvegotthatbumpersticker上面写着“像贝克曼一样井井有条”thatsays"StraightenItLikeBeckman"?我现在能下来了吗CanIcomedownnow?如果宝宝们醒来时我没准备好奶瓶IfIdon'thavethebabies'bottleswhentheywakeup,他们就会发脾气they,remean.你还没遇到“可怕的两岁期”呢You,renotevenintheterribletwosyet那是什么时候开始啊Oh,whendothosestart?好了就快到时间点了