ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第四季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

好了各位大逃杀要开始了Okguys,aBattleRoyaleiscomingup.每个部门在同一个房♥间里争着要钱Everydepartment,inoneroom,arguingformoremoney.预算穹顶之争BudgetaryThunderDome.所以嗯做个为啥其他部门很烂的列表Souhm,makealistofwhyotherdepartmentssuck然后我去找秘密武器andIgonnagetthesecretweapon.我们在这场预算战争中的秘密武器Oursecretweaponinthisbudgetarybattle.RonRon.每次另一个部门要钱的时候Everytimeanotherdepartmentasksformoremoney,他就瞪着他们直到他们退缩hejuststaresthemdownuntiltheybackoff和/或尿裤子and/orwetthemselves.嘿谁准备好要Hey,who,sreadytoget你在干什么whatareyoudoing?Tammy一号♥出现了TammyOneshowedup.我被国税局审计了mbeingauditedbytheIRS.不No!你最坏的盥梦Yourworstnightmare.你知道吗去他妈的Youknowwhat?Screwthis.首先个人所得税是违法的Firstofalbincometaxisillegal.第二Tammy是个心理智多星Second,Tammyisapsychologicalmastermind.这只是她另一种Thisisjustanotherwayforher把手伸进我屁♥股♥像木偶-样玩弄的方式而已toputherhandupmykeisterandcontrolmelikeapuppet.我宁愿被关起来dratherbelockedup.Ron这可是联邦税务审计Ron,thisisafederaltaxaudit.你可能会进监狱Youcouldgotojail.监狱啊RonJail,Ron.Ron监狱Ron,jail.监狱ROn监狱Jail,Ron,jail.你可能会进监狱Youcouldgotojail.监狱监狱监狱Jail,jail,jail.你坏掉了吗Areyoubroken?AndyAprilAndy,April!怎么啦老板What,sup,boss?别吵了很烦啊Stopyellingandbeingannoying.拿上计算器安顿好Grabyourcalculators.Settlein."拯救ROrr行动开始了Operation"RescueRon"isstarting.别担心明天我会想个更好的名字Don'tworry.Iwillthinkofabetternameforitbytomorrow.给你Hereyougo.我说计算器Calculator.公园与游憩公园与游憩第4季第2集第4季第2集嘿BenHey,Ben.嘿谢谢你发短♥信♥拉我出来玩Hey,thanksfortextingmetohangout.我真的觉得我们发展出一段很酷的友情然后-vereallyfeltlikewe'vedevelopedacoolfriendship,and-不管怎样能确认这点就很好anyway,itwasjustnicetohavethatvalidated.是是是是是Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah.你看我们娱乐7二。有点文件看起来特别复杂1.ook,wegotsomedocumentsoveratEntertainment720thatseemreallycomplicated.而我觉得可能你能来看看AndIthought,maybeyoucouldtakealookatthem因为宅男东西可能会让你很兴奋becausenerdstuffprobablyreallyexcitesyou,因为你是个宅男becauseyou'reanerd.不当然是啊不我就一No,ofcourse.Yeah,no,Ijust-穿上我的星战睡衣坐在我妈地下室里钻研电子表格是吧putonmyStarWarspajamasandsitinmymom'sbasementandporeoversomespreadsheets.听起来不错Soundsgreat.好吧你你你有啥呢Yeah.W-w-what,dyougot?叫啥"盈亏分♥析♥表"Somethingcalled"Breakevenanalysistables."哦盈亏吗Oh,breakevens?那些是真的有意思Thosearereallyfun.行当然我可以看看Yeah,sure.lltakealook.我们走吧1.et'shitit.你在-什么Whatyou-rightnow?呃-我有工作啊Uh-Ihavework.我还觉得我有个朋友呢AndIthoughtIhadafriend.好吧Allright这也太简单了It,salmosttooeasy.我能听见你啊Icanhearyou.我知道你能Ben1knowyoucan,Ben.就是有那么简单That'showeasyitis.所以我们需要找到我过去五年里每一笔扣税的证据Soweneedtofindproofofeverytaxdeductionvetakeninthelastfiveyears.Ron这些大部分甚至都不是收据Ron,mostofthesearen'tevenreceipts.这条就写着"我买♥♥了物资2007年”Thisonesays,'Iboughtsupplies.2007".你们也找不到银行报表的Youwon'tfindanybankstatementseither.我在黄金里投了很多钱veheavilyinvestedingold在Pawnee周围的几个不同地点埋着呢whichveburiedinseveraldifferentlocationsaroundPawnee.我真埋了吗OrhaveI?这是啥What'sthis?什么低级的毒品交易吗Somekindoflamedrugdeal?那是条君子协定Thatisagentleman'sagreement.我给那个人做了张餐桌Imadethatmanadiningroomtable换来18米长的铜管和半头猪inexchangefor60feetofcopperpipeandahalfpig.嗯看起来我们这里有些真正的收据了Well,lookslikewehavesomeactualreceiptshere.等额的每个月140块Sameamount,everymonth.140bucks.这是啥What,sthis?每30天我都会买♥&hearts潴枪了弹和烟寄给家里的老妈Every30days,Ibuyshotgunshellsandcigarettesandsendthemhometomymom.这也太贴心了That'ssosweet.你妈听起来居&hearts丁爆了啊Yourmomsoundskick-ass.我第一任前妻叫TammyMyfirstex-wife'snameisTammy.我第二任前妻叫TammyMysecondex-wife'snameisTammy.我妈的名字是TamaraMymom'snameisTamara.她也用Tammy这个名字ShegoesbyTammy.预防成年型糖尿病的方式有年度检查Youcanpreventadult-onsetdiabetesbygettinganannualcheck-up,身体锻炼exercising,祈祷praying.那个家伙是谁啊Whoisthatguy?那是WaltMorphlingThatisWaltMorphling.他曾是公共卫♥生♥部♥的主任Hewasthedirectorofpublichealth,但他46岁就退休了buthehadtoretireat46因为得了糖尿病becausehehaddiabetes.这也太悲伤了但在这个镇可以理解Thatissad,butalso,inthistown,understandable.我想拍一段新的宣传片IwouldliketoshootanewPSA我觉得找一个健康而上镜的会很好andIthinkit'dbegoodtogetsomeonewho'shealthyandtelegenic,我觉得你会很符合andIthoughtthatyouwouldbeperfectAnnPerkinsAnnPerkins.我很荣幸啊Iamflattered.而且我会做的AndIwilldoit.现在有脚本了吗Isthereascriptyet?呃没有因为你刚刚同意这个主意也就Uh,no,becauseyoujustapprovedtheidea,like,三秒钟threesecondsago.我想让你给我写一段脚本一个小时之内给我Iwouldlikeyoutowritemeascriptandgetittomeinanhour.我们可以考虑一下着装Andweshouldstartthinkingaboutwardrobe.休闲Casual?正式半正式Formal?Semi-formal?运动Sporty?ScaryScary?PoshBabyPosh?Baby?这四个是辣妹组合的名字Thosearethespicegirls.我刚刚被自己的思路缠住了Ijustgotcaughtupinmyownthoughts.我对此很激动mveryexcitedaboutthis.至于衬衫的话我可以选择白色Intermsofshirts,Icanwearwhite.欢迎来到天堂我的哥们Welcometoparadise,myman.你可以在那边的吧台呆着Youcanchillovertherebythebar.我们也随时都有篮球Wealsogotbasketballatanytimeyouwant.这二位是RoyHibbert和DetlefSchrempfThere'sRoyHibbertandDetlefSchrempf.哦我的天这是真的NBA球员啊Oh,myGod.That,sanactualNBAplayer.他是步行者队的HeplaysforthePacers.NBA罢♥工♥了NBA'sonstrike,所以我们只用付差不多他在NBA工资的75%就行soWegothimforonly,like,75%ofhisoriginalNBAsalary.咋啦RoyWhatup,Roy?这就是你们让我做的吗Isthisallyouwantmetodo?跟Detlef打一对一吗PlayoneononewithDetlef?是的Yes.而且闭上嘴Andkeepyourmouthshut.Jean-RalphioJean-Ralphio!带我上去Takemethere.撞Bump!你是谁啊Whoareyou?呃-这是BenUh-ThisisBen.他来帮我们搞文书的He'sheretohelpuswiththepaperwork.Ben那是你的真名吗Ben?Isthatyourrealname?是的Yes.哦你能取得更好一点啊Oh,youcoulddobetterthanthat.我现在就来帮你mahelpyououtrightnow.你的名字叫AngeloYournameisAngelo.Angelo非常感谢你来帮忙Angelo,thankyousomuchforcomingout.搞条宽一点的领带这条看起来很奇怪Getathickertie.Itlooksweirdonyou.让你的头看起来像条鱼Makesyourheadlooklikeafish.第二Secondly,我不知道文书都在哪Idon'tknowwherethepaperworkis,但你要是找到的话能帮我们搞定吗butwhenyoufindit,canyoutakecareofitforus?我们没有笔Wedon'thaveanypens因为我们害怕会在衬衣里漏墨'causewe'reafraidit'sgonnaleakinourshirts.最后我讨厌这个名字Angelo1.astly,Ihatethename,Angelo.我给你换一个就现在maswitchitupforyou,rightnow.你的新昵称是.Yournewnicknameis.果冻酒Jell-oshot.你觉得怎么样酒冻啊Whatdoyouthinkofthat,J-shot?你有问题吗Doyouhavequestions?有啊我们在哪Yeah.Wherearewe?好了BenAllright,Ben.如果你需要什么Ifyouneedanything,我们这些付钱呆在这儿的模特们会给你拿来的oneofthesemodelsthatwepaytohangaroundherewillgrabitforyou.同时我们要来玩电了游戏Inthemeantime,we,gonnabeplayingvideogames,在twitter上发最高分了tweetingourhighscores.来吧Hitit!嗯嗨你是前台吗Um,hi.Areyouthereceptionist?我猜是吧Iguess.我真的不知道Idon'treallyknow.不介意我问一下Ifyoudon'tmindmeasking,他们给你开多少工资啊howmucharetheypayingyou?一年十万刀$100,000ayear.含全套医保Withfullmedical.我说啊我会猜他们破产的时间将是Imean,Iwouldguessthey'llbebankruptbytheendof.这句话说完的时候Thissentence.不谢谢No,thankyou.是真的吗Isthistrue?你过去五年买♥♥衣服只花了40块Youonlyspent$40onclothesinthepast5years?听起来差不多Itsoundsaboutright.你怎么认识Tammy一号♥的HowdidyoumeetTammyOne?实际上我出生时就认识她了Technically,veknownhersinceIwasborn.她是医院的护士助手Shewasacandystriperatthehospital.她帮忙接生了我Shehelpeddeliverme.哦我的天啊Oh,myGod.我在一个很小的镇上长大Igrewupinaverysmalltown.600口人600people.每个人都互相认识Everybodykneweverybodyelse.我们开始在一起的时候我15岁WefirsttookuptogetherwhenIwas15.太棒了-哦天哪Awesome.-Oh,myGod.是有点不体面Itwasalittlescandalous,但所有人都害怕她所以他们都闭嘴了buteveryonefearedher,sotheykepttheirmouthsshut.我都不认识她但她是我的英雄1don'tevenknowher,butshe'smyhero.不她可不是英雄AprilNo,she'snohero,April.她是个地狱般的噩梦She'sahellaciousnightmare.不过她确实教会了我一切Shedid,however,teachmeeverythingIknow.周日学校星期日对儿童进行宗教教育的学校周日学校性Sundayschool,sex.她是我中学的数学老师Shewasmymathteacherinmiddleschool是我的保姆也教会我开车andmybabysitter,andshetaughtdriver,sed.我-I-你好Hello.觉得我们还没见过Idon'tbelievewe'vemet.我是LeslieKnope副-IamLeslieKnope,deputy-我不觉得有必要Idon'tthinkitwillbenecessary让你在我在这的时候再说话foryoutospeakagainwhilemhere.为什么我只和红发女约会呢WhydoIonlydatebrunettes?你知道有时候你吃了鸡肉然后食物中毒Youknow,sometimesyoueatchickenandyougetfoodpoisoning接下来即使看到鸡也让你反胃吗andthen,eventhesightofchickenmakesyousick?Tammy一号♥就是我的金发鸡TammyOneismyblondechicken.我的神啊RonaldGoodGod,Ronald.这个麻烦比我想象中的大多了ThisisamuchbiggermessthanIimagined.你停工一周You'lltakeaweekofffromwork.我们要彻底检查你的财务We'lldoacompleteoverhaulofyourfinances.我需要你所有账户的使用权1Ineedaccesstoallyouraccounts,还有你家andyourhome.这有必要吗Isthatnecessary?哦哦我们是在玩一个一人说一句蠢话的游戏吗Oh,oh.We,replayingagamewhereeveryonesayssomethingstupid?你你叫什么You.Whatisyourname?TimTim.TimBuckenowskiTimBuckenowski.真的吗Really?不No.AndyDwyerAndyDwyer.Andy-Andy.你要把这些都拿上You'regoingtocollectallofthis,然后放到我车里去andyou'regoingtoputitinmycar.什么-Knope女士What-Ms.Knope.在Yes?你要去工资处You'regoingtogotopayroll把Ronald的工作支出报告复印一份过来andgetcopiesofRonald'sworkplaceexpensereports.哦我-我就是在想需要多久Oh,I-mjustwonderinghowlongthat'sgoingtotake,因为Ron和我要一起开一个很重要的会becauseRonandIhaveaveryimportantmeetingtogether.叫做大逃杀It'scalledtheBattleRoyale.会超级好玩的It,ssuperfun.哎呀Well.你和Ron有个大会议是吧YouandRonhaveabigmeeting,huh?我很确定Ron会深情回想起这个会议的msureRonwillrememberthemeetingfondly当他在TerreHaute联邦监狱里做私酿的时候whilehemakestoiletwineinafederalprisoninTerreHaute.我-我这就去工资处11-11headdowntopayroll.现在Now.你已经不再年轻了You'renotgettinganyyounger.是的夫人Yes,ma'am.她是我从未有过的冷淡疏远的母亲She'sthecold,distantmotherIneverhad.我爱她Iloveher.一周后早上好啊各位Goodmorning,everyone.早上好先生能有什么帮您的Goodmorning,sir.HowcanIhelpyou?ROn你的胡子掉下来了Ron?Yourmoustachefelloff.1.eslie你个白♥痴♥1.eslie,yougoofball.Tammy指出我的脸没有毛发的时候更好看Tammypointedoutthatmyfacelookedbetterwithoutanyhaironit.而且胡子确实积攒r很多食物残渣是很不卫生的Anditdidcollectalotoffoodcrumbs,whichisveryunsanitary.嘿JerHey,Jer.周三对吧兄弟Humpday,amIright,buddy?什么What?发生什么了Tammy一号♥在哪Whatisgoingon?Where'sTammyOne?她搬来和我同居了她真的帮了很大的忙Shemovedinwithme.She,sreallyhelpingmeout昨天她把我的银行账户Yesterday,sheconvertedmybankaccount转换成了和她的联合账户'intoajointbankaccountwithher.哦那很棒啊Oh.That'sgreat.这样会帮上什么忙呢Andhowisthatgonnahelp?不确定Notsure.但她解释的时候完全说得通Whensheexplainsit,itmakestotalsense.有她在真的很好啊Itissonicehavingheraround.这事儿挺有意思的Here'ssomethingneat.未能证明阿司匹林能预防心血管疾病反而可能会造成严重医疗问题Tammy让我服用宝宝阿司匹林Tammy'sgotmetakingbabyaspirin降低我心脏病的风险tolowermyriskofheartdisease.科学是个奇迹啊Scienceisamiracle.不管了回到砂轮上开始工作了Any-who,backtotheoldgrindstone.这些邮件可不能自己发出去啊Theseemailsaren,tgonnasendthemselves.糖尿病不能被治愈Diabetescan'tbecured.但可以被预防Butitcanbeprevented.做出选择做出改变Makeachoice.Makeachange.而在一起Andtogether,我们就能产生影响wecanmakeadifference.你觉得如何有意见吗Whatdoyouthink?Anynotes?很棒了Great.和上次一样好感觉甚至完全一样Justasgood,ifnotexactlythesameasthelastone.上一次我在两个词之间多停了一纳秒Inthatlastone,Ileftananosecondofapausebetweenthewords,“一起“和“我们“"together"and"we."感觉好太多了Itfeltmuchbetter.但我很乐意再试一次Butdlovetotryanotherone.我真的觉得我们搞定了Ireallythinkwe'vegotit.AnnAnn.这对我很重要因为对你很重要Thisisimportanttomebecauseit,simportanttoyou.我觉得你花了很多时间和精力来写这个Imean,youspentalotoftimeandenergyonwritingthis.并没有Notreally.所以它需要是完美的So,itneedstobeperfect.所以我们再来一次然后再来5次So,let'sdo1more,then5more,然后连着再来20次then20inarow.嘿看看这是谁啊Hey,lookwhoitis.嘿嘿Hey,hey.Tom.Jean-RalphioTom.Jean-Ralphio.专业篮球球员们Professionalbasketballplayers.咋啦果冻酒'Sup,Jell-Oshot.我能问你们个问题吗CanIaskyouguysaquestion?你们是怎么赚钱的呢Howexactlyareyoumakingmoney?想知道我们怎么赚钱的吗Wannaknowhowwemakemoney?想知道我们是怎么赚钱的Doyouwannaknowhowwemakemoney?通过自己印钱Byliterallyprintingoutourmoney.我们买♥♥了台印钞机Weboughtaprintingpress.这会印出有我们脸和e720商标的钱Thisprintsbillswithourfacesandthee720logoonthem.然后去俱乐部推广公♥司♥Andpromotethecompanybygoingtoclubs方式是往空中扔纸币然后大叫andtossingthebillsintheairandscreaming,"免费钱咯""Freemoney!"嗯你们不能就印自己的钱啊Okay,youcan,tjustprintyourownmoney.这一切必须停下Thishastostop,马上rightnow.哦Aww!怎么回事啊宝贝What'sthedeal,baby?一秒钟你按了趴体按钮Onesecond,youhitthepartyswitch,下一秒钟你就正经了andthenextsecond,you'reallbusiness?我需要看你们所有的账本Ineedtoseeallofyourbooks.没问题宝贝Yougotit,baby.宝贝Baby!把账本给他Givehimthebooks.哦貂皮哦AWw,Snappie.我们要把所有人都叫“宝贝"了吗Arewecallingeverybody"baby"now?因为诚实讲我爱死了'Causehonestly,Ilovethat.我们每次觉得啥事很JB♥就要说“貂皮”了吗Arewesaying"Snappie"anytimewethinksomething'sdope?因为我爱死了宝贝'CauseIlovethat,baby.你知道我爰什么吗DoyouknowwhatIlove?果冻酒Jell-oshot!哈果冻酒Hup,Jell-oshot!果冻酒Jell-oshot!果冻酒Jell-oshot!果冻酒)ell-oshot!谢谢Thankyou.我们是为您服务的朋友We'reheretoserveyou,friend.我希望你今天过得炫酷1hopetherestofyourdayiscoolbeans.Ron你给我发的这条备忘录什么意思Ron,whatisthismemoyousenttome?你不准备参加大逃杀了吗You'renotgoingtothebattleroyale?我决定今年不参加了Ihavedecidednottoattendthisyear.好吧首先你写备忘录就已经很让人担心了Okay,firstofall,it'sdisturbingthatyouwroteamemo,atall.但你爱讨♥伐♥政♥府♥开销啊Butyoulovearguingagainstgovernmentspending.你为什么不想做了呢Whydoyounotwannadoitnow?1.eslie拜托1.eslie,please.政♥府♥知道自己在做什么Thegovernmentknowswhatit'sdoing.我有信心我会-mconfidentthatll-好痛哦Ouchie.你跟我要去吃午饭了YouandIaregoingtolunch.我们得聊聊Wehavetotalk.让我先打给Tammy请求允许1.etmejustcallTammyfirstandgetpermission.哦不是吧Oh,comeon.TammyTammy,我在想我能不能和Leslie一起吃午饭呢IwaswonderingifIcouldgotolunchwithLeslie?太棒了Terrific.拜Bye.她说我不能去Shesays1can'tgo.你要跟我去吃午饭了You'regoingtolunchwithme.我说你能去Isayyoucango.哦糟了Oh,gosh.这卜陷入困境了mreallyinapicklenow.我的天哪Oh,myGod.Ron为Tammy二号♥倾倒的时候WhenRonfallsforTammyTwo,他会变成恶魔性♥爱♥狂heturnsintoademonicsexmaniac.但这个Butthis?阉掉的懦夫Neuteredwimp?这更糟了Thisisworse."金色鸽子”行动现在麻烦了OperationnGoldenDove"isintrouble.Ron有些我想要跟你说的事情Ron,therearesomethingsIwanttospeaktoyouabout但我不太确定要怎么措辞butmnotquitesurehowtophrasethem.直接说出口就行LeSlieJustblurtthemrightout,Leslie.你说的所有话都只有我俩知道Anythingyousaywillstaybetweenyouandme.对吧我的爱人Right,mylove?不要坐立不安Stopfidgeting.抱歉Sorry.我希望我和Ron是单独见面的IwashopingtospeakwithRonalone.他想让我在这Hewantsmehere.是他邀请我的Heinvitedme.呐呐呐呐呐Na-na-na-na-na.别担心LeslieDon'tworry,Leslie.Tammy完全没问题的Tammy,stotallycool.哈好吧Huh,okay.那我就直接对她说了Thenllsayittoher.你是个恶人你必须离开You'reevil,andyouneedtogo.1.eslie你太恐慌了1.eslie,youareapanic.Tammy我能去洗手间吗Tammy,mayIusetherestroom?记得洗手Remembertowashyourhands.好的你知道吗Okay,youknowwhat?我们直入主题吧1.et'scutthecrap.这次审计根本就是假的吧Isthisauditevenreal?某种程度上来说是的Inasense,yes.但在另一个更真实的程度上来说不Butinanother,truersense,no,它不是itisnot我想要Ronald回来IwantRonaldback,但我需要了解他的财务状况butIhadtolearnabouthisfinances,以确定我的未来是有保障的tomakesuremyfuturewasprotected.我印象深刻mimpressed.他积攒相当多的金子呢He'sacquiredquiteabitofgold.你个拜金女Yougolddigger.你个字面意义上的拜金女You'reliterallyagolddigger.我爱Tammy的一点是她会指出我的屎事ThethingIloveaboutTammyisshecallsmeonmycrap.每个男的都需要这样Everyguyneedsthat.好吧如果你想个公♥司♥活下来Okay,ifyouwantthiscompanytosurvive,你立即需要减小规模youimmediatelyneedtodownsize.我是说你也不需要这个飞机库吧Imean,youdon'tneedthisairplanehangar嗯我觉得我们需要啊um,Ithinkwedo.第二你们必须有详细的财务记录Andtwo,youhavetokeepdetailedfinancialrecords.谢谢您哪Thankyou!我早就跟他们说过了vebeentryingtotellthemthat!浪费时间Wasteoftime.他们被非雇员可.报税开销请求咬了屁♥股♥都不知道那是啥Theywouldn'tknowanon-employeetax-reportableexpenditurerequestifitbitthemintheass.嘿伙计们哪两位创办了自己的