ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第四季第十四集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

好的礼物时间Okay,timeforgifts.我们给所有人准备门故脸的礼物券Wehavegiftcertificatesforfacialsforeverybody,然后你能得到一个针织枕头印着你的脸thenyou'regonnagetaneedlepointpillowwithyourfaceonit以及你生日那天的报纸头条andanewsheadlinefromanewspaperonthedayyouwereborn.”约瑟夫斯大林去世”吗"JosephStalindies"?是的妈而你取代了他That'sright,Mom,andyoureplacedhim.虽然不是在种族灭绝的意义上Thoughnotintermsofgenocide.就是在你知道的存在于世界上的顺序Justintermsof,youknow,beingonearth.2月14日情人节是关于浪漫的February14th,Valentine'sDay,isaboutromance,而2月13日闺蜜节butFebruary13th,galentine'sday,是关于庆祝女性朋友们的isaboutcelebratingladyfriends.它很棒它应该是一个国家节日It,swonderful,anditshouldbeanationalholiday.它确实应该是国家节日Itshouldbeanationalholiday.亲爱的国会又是我LeslieDearCongress,it'sLeslieagain.我们来聊个人感情吧1.et'stalkaboutpersonalrelationships.谁先来呢DonnaWhowantstostart?Donna?我有几位在循环交往Ihaveseveralmeninrotation.有一位在外面车上等着我呢One'swaitingformeoutinthecar.别担心我摇下车窗了Don'tworry,Irolleddownthewindow.APriI你是这里的已婚人士了Andy怎么样APriLyou'retheoldmarriedbroadhere.How'sAndy?嗯上周他本应该加汽油的Well.lastweekhewassupposedtobuygas,但他反而买♥♥了新奇切曲奇器butinsteadheboughtnoveltycookiecutters.现在我们吃的所有东西都长得像恐龙Noweverythingweeatisshapedlikeadinosaur.他太棒了He'samazing.很好妈和Steven怎么样了Great.Andmom,how,sitgoingwithSteven?嗯因为我的可爱女儿我在网上认识了他Well,ImethimontheInternetbecauseofmylovelydaughter,而我们真的很合适andwearecompatible.啦啦啦啦啦啦啦1.a,la,la,la,la,la,la.好吧不不不不不Ann你能开始讲话吗Okay,no,no,no,no,no.Ann,canyoustarttalking?嗯我-我-我现在在间歇的状态Well,m-m-minabitofalullrightnow,但我很高兴你们在生活中都有butmsogladthatyouallhavepeopleinyourlives能关心的人所以祝贺你们了thatyoucareabout,so.Congrats!这么祝贺真的很难听起来不讽刺It,sreallyhardtosaycongratswithoutsoundingsarcastic.认真的我真心希望你们都很开心-Seriously,Ireallyhopeyouguysareallveryhappy-该死-我们是的Damnit.-Weare.公园与游憩公园与游憩第4季第14集第4季第14集Ann我只想说我问你爱情生活的时候让你难堪对不起Ann,IjustwantedtosaymsorryifIputyouonthespotwhenIaskedyouaboutyourlovelife.你现在怎么样了Howareyoudoing?你知道我单身基本都还好Youknow,mmostlyfinebeingsingle.只是这是一年中都是红心和玫瑰的时候It'sjustthistimeofyearwiththeheartsandroses,就会让我有点沮丧itjustgetsmealittledown.但闺蜜节让我心情好了很多Butgalentine,sdaymademefeelbetter,所以谢谢sothanks.哦Ann你这个美丽的老处♥女♥Oh,Ann,youbeautifulspinster.我会为你找到爱情的Iwillfindyoulove.啥你说了什么吗What?Didyousaysomething?爱你哦1.oveyou.感谢各位的到场Thankyouallforbeinghere.我们开始吧1.et'sgetstarted.哇态度很棒啊RonWow.Greatattitude,Ron.抱歉我是在和排骨们说话Sorry,Iwastalkingtotheseribs.好的所以情人节舞会已经计划准备压到预算之下Okay,sotheValentine'sDaydanceisplanned,prepped,andunderbudget,但我们还有一个最后任务butwehaveonenaltask.AnnPerkins目前是一个人参加情人节舞会AnnPerkinsiscurrentlyattendingtheValentine'sDaydancealone,所以我需要你们每个人明天为她带一位合适的单身汉soIneedeachoneofyoutobringaneligiblebachelorforhertomorrow.Ann也不是完全丑陋的人啊Ann,snottotallyhideous.为什么她需要我们帮忙Whydoessheneedourhelp?因为这就是朋友们做的APrilBecausethat'swhatfriendsdo,April.他们帮助朋友寻找幸福Theyhelpfriendsfindhappiness.现在最后一个她喜欢的男的是ChrisNowthelastguyshelikedwasChris,但她不能再和他约会了因为他是她老板butshecan'tdatehimagainbecausehe'sherboss.所以我们在考虑预期心上人的时候Sowhenwe,rethinkingOfprospectivesweethearts,著名演员瑞恩高斯林RyanGosling时任美国副总统乔拜登JoeBiden美国演员导演萨姆沃特森SamWaterson我们需要考虑的特质是Weneedtothinkofpeoplewhoare.有魅力还有聪明还有善良Attractiveandsmartandkind.而如果你想知道哪种男的跟Ann合适Andifyou'rewonderingwhatkindofguyisrightforAnn,你只需要问就好了allyouneedtodoisask.还有你需要找的人必须有教养Alsoyouneedtofindsomeoneeducated,还要友善还要有趣-andfriendly,andfun-就说那个该死的缩写词吧justtellusthedamnword.欢腾他需要很欢腾Effervescent,heneedstobeeffervescent有教养友善有趣平等主义健壮精力充沛热情性感礼貌能共情不内八字有才华关于Ann的快速问题-QuickquestionaboutAnn有谁知道她也没有印度血统吗doesanyoneknowifshehasanyIndianinher?都别回应Noonerespond.所有人别说话-为什么Noonesayanything.-Why?我只是好奇Ann是不是有印度血统-安静mjustcuriousifAnnhasalittleindianinher.-Silence.我觉得她没有-那她想来点吗1don'tthinkshedoes.-Wouldshelikesome?情人节快乐HappyValentine'sDay.然后,“呜哇And.0oh-ah!快艇水獭吗-是的YachterOtter?-Yup.两个月前我梦见一只花♥花♥公♥子♥水獭在海上走丢了Twomonthsago,Ihaveadreamaboutaplayboyotterlostatsea,而你让他成真了andyoumakehimreal?嗯哼-我好爱Uh-huh.-1loveit.我以为我们同意不给彼此送礼物1thoughtwehadagreedthatweweren'tgonnageteachotherpresents因为我们都在忙着竞选-我也给你搞了个东西'causeWeweretoobusywiththecampaign-Igotyousomethingtoo.哦一个炸♥弹♥吗Oh,a.bomb?这是个密♥码♥筒就像那部电影达芬奇密♥码♥里一样Itisacryptex,likeinthatmovieTheDaVinciCode,那是你和我在StarzHD上看过的第一部电影whichwasthefirstmoviethatyouandIeverwatchedonStarzHD.哇这也太特殊了Wow,that'sspecific.里面会告诉你今晚9点在哪见我Insideitwilltellyouwheretomeetmeat9:00P.M.tonight,密♥码♥是五个字母的代码andthecombinationisafive-lettercode抓住了我们第三次约会的精髓thatcapturestheessenceofourthirddate.是哦-所以我们晚上见Yeah.-SoIwillseeyoutonight.除非你破解不了那个密♥码♥Unless.Youcan'tcrackthecode.我觉得我能破解密♥码♥IthinkIcancrackthecode.我完全不知道密♥码♥是啥Ihavenoideawhatthecodeis.嘿哥们你还好吗Hey,man,youokay?还在想着你前任呢Stillthinkingaboutyourex?MillicentGergich真的把我的心从身体里撕了出来MillicentGergichhasliterallytornmyheartfrommybody而换成一块厚厚的悲伤andreplaceditwithathickslabofsadness.我可能不会再笑了1mayneversmileagain.酷哦所以我找到个舞会的DJCool,soIfoundaDJforthedance,他的名字是DJ钝andhisnameisDJBluntz.Tom这是场公众赞助的情侣舞会Tom,thisisapubliclyfundedcouplesdance.我不觉得让人们”被声音湿身“会很合适Idon'tthinkit'sappropriateforpeopletobegetting"wetwithsound."那谁来做呢Who,sgonnadoit,then?我来Iwill.我情人节当然没有其他计划IcertainlyhavenootherplansforValentine'sDay,因为我完全是一个人becauseIamcompletelyalone.好吧我们回头见ChriSAllright,llseeyoulater,Chris.嗷好酷的密♥码♥筒能给我吗Aw,coolcryptex,canIhaveit?嘿不行不你不能-Hey,no.No,youcan't-你从哪拿到的Where'dyougetit?你怎么知道密♥码♥筒是什久东西Howdoyouknowwhatacryptexis?我知道东西是啥啊Iknowwhatthingsare.嗯Leslie把我们情人节见面的地点藏在里面了Well,LesliehidthelocationofourValentine'smeetingplaceinhere.不是吧No.我试过和第三次约会有关的每一个五字母单词了Itriedeveryfive-letterwordthathasanythingtodowithourthirddate.操你试过哗了吗HaveyoutriedBleep?那是四个字母That'safour-letterword.哦加个“s”呢Oh.Addan"s"?我真不觉得是那个Ireallydon'tthinkit,sthat呃我也想能帮上忙兄弟我不知道我能不能Uh,IwishIcouldhelpyou,bro,Idon'tknowifIcan.你像是我认识第二聪明的人了You're,like,thesecondsmartestguyIknow.你该去找我认识第一聪明的人YoushouldgotothefirstsmartestguyIknow.好吧所以线索在里面Okay,sotheclueisinside,但需要五个字母来打开-Andy别butittakesafive-lettercodetoopenit-Andy!操你试过响了吗DidyoutryBleep?哈Ha!试过r为什么每个人第一建议都是这个啊Yes,whyisthateveryone'sfirstsuggestion?只是聪明人Justsmartpeople.我觉得我可能能帮忙IthinkImightbeabletohelpyou.告诉过你了Toldyou.让我看看-嗯你马上就能看到了1.etmeseeit!-Yeah,you'regonnaseeit.我给你看我可以打开的I'llshowyou.Icanunrollit.”如有壁画作上标此红心”Themuralswiththisheartyousee,”拜访皆顿首下条提示清”"looktothefirst,andthereyournextcluewillbe."每幅上面标了红心的壁画首字母拼出线索Thefirstletterofthenameofeachmuralwithaheartonitwillspellouttheclue.或者什或者什么Orsome-orsomething.我们去看看壁画1.et'scheckoutthemurals.情人节快乐Pawnee对我来说并不快乐HappyValentine'sDay,Pawnee.Forme,itisnothappy.但别让我的悲伤毁r你们的晚上Butdon'tletmysadnessdiminishyournight.无论如何人生飞逝Anyway,lifeisfleeting.1.eslie给Ann找了个约会对象1.eslie.FoundadateforAnn.Jerry干得好啊Jerry,welldone.我在CraigsIist上放了个广♥告♥IputanadonCraigslist:”男人寻找男人共度愉悦之夜”"Manseekingmanforanightofcasualfun."Enrico他马上就回复了Enrico,herespondedrightaway.我里面等你-好的谢哥们llmeetyouinside.-Okay.Thanksdude.你雇了个三陪男子Youhiredamaleescort.一个什么Awhat?请把你的小白脸送出去Pleasegetyourgigolooutofhere.我一呃-哦天啊I-uhoh,myGod.好的所以我们收集到这边所有有红心贴纸的壁画Okay,sowe'vegotalltheonesfromthissidewiththeheartsticker.好了另一条走廊上的有Allright,theonesfromtheotherhallwayare.玉米田屠♥杀♥水牛的哀歌♥"CornfieldSlaughter","LamentoftheBuffalo",不必要的屠♥杀♥出错的屠♥杀♥"NeedlessSlaughter","SlaughterGoneWrong",分食牧师下着血雨"EatingtheReverend","It'sRainingBlood",还有遍地死亡好的我来接手吧and"DeathEverywhere.*'-Great.Igotitfromhere.谢谢r伙计们我希望没太搞砸你们的情人节Thanks,guys.IhopeIdidn'tscrewupyourValentine'sDaytoomuch.哦天没事APriI恨死情人节了Oh,God,no.AprilhatesValentine'sDay.还有早午餐还有户外Andbrunch.Andoutside.还有笑Andsmiling.她好奇怪She'sweird.我知道了Ifigureditout.整理好的字母拼出Thelettersunscrambledsay,”此物应是最佳餐JJ餐厅线索三”"Nofoodfiner.CluethreeatJ.J.,sDiner."到底有多少条线索啊Howmanycluesarethere,exactly?嘿你来了Hey,you'rehere.而且我带了个单身男AndIbroughtabachelor.你在开玩笑吧-没有啊Areyoukiddingme?-No.你带的是OrinYoubroughtOrin?Ann不是什么奇怪的阴郁的木乃伊Annisnotsomeweird,morosemummy.故意冒犯你的OrinOffenseintended,Orin.让这变成唤醒你反思自己给世界展示方式的警钟吧1.etthisbeawake-upcallaboutthewayyoupresentyourselftotheworld.我觉得Ann和他在一起真的会很可爱IthinkAnnandhimwouldbecutetogether.我只问你做一件事Iaskyoutodoonething.你知道我有多努力Doyouknowhowhardvebeenworking才能在Ann来之前把这一切准备好吗totrytopullthistogetherbeforeAnngetshere?嘿-嘿你来了Hey.-Hey,you'rehere.我们没在聊你Weweren'ttalkingaboutyou.你好吗-嗯Howareyou?-Well.今天是情人节而我是单身It,sValentine'sDay,andmsingle,我还在情侣舞会上andmatacouplesdance.我想不到更沮丧的场合了Ican'timagineamoredepressingplacetobe.如果是你前任男友的婚礼Whataboutaweddingwhereyouusedtogooutwiththegroom,然后你是唯一一个没带伴来的andyou'retheonlyonetherewithoutadate,所以新娘让你自己一个人跳单身女郎呢sothebridemakesyoudancetoSingleLadiesbyyourself?我的天你身上发生过的吗Oh,myGod,didthathappentoyou?可能吧我们来喝一杯然后你和我Maybe.Let'sgetadrink,andthenyouandI要来点欢了个乐aregonnahavesomef-u-n.嗯至少音乐挺适合的Well,atleastthemusicseemsaboutright.应该有差不多20个男的来见Ann的Therewassupposedtobe,like,20guyshereforAnn,而现在只有4个我们还有谁呢andthere'sonlyfour.Whoelsedowehave?Ben有主了Jerry有主了Ben,taken.Jerry,taken.哦我的牙医80岁了而且是同性恋而且有主了0h!Mydentist.Is80,andhe'sgay,andhe'staken.呃这是谁Uh.what'sthis?P.Hut哦必胜客P.Hut?Oh,PizzaHut!等等Holdon.嗨你有多帅呢Hi,howcuteareyou?一见钟情Ann这是我的律师朋友AlexAnn,thisismylawyerfriend,Alex.呃-嗨-嗨Uh.-Hi.-Hi.幸会-幸会Nicetomeetyou.-Nicetomeetyou.我听说了你很多事情veheardalotaboutyou.在过去一个小时里是啊Inthelasthour.-Yeah.嗯Alex给我的竞选提供法律咨♥询♥Well,Alexgivesmycampaignlegaladvice,而Ann是历史上最伟大的人类andAnnisthegreatesthumanbeingeverinvented.所以我就-啥呃有人需要我Somgonna-what?Uh,someoneneedsme.我要走了你俩就先一见如故吧mgonnago,andyoutwojusthititoffnow.疯孩子们好吧Youcrazykids.-Okay.好的.”此物最佳餐”Okay."Thereisnofoodfiner."对Leslie来说那就是鲜奶油或者ForLeslie,thatmeanswhippedcream,or.不就是鲜奶油No,it'swhippedcream.我到鲜奶油罐子里找找mgonnalookinthewhippedcreamcans.哦有了Oh,gotsome!哦Oh.还没啥呢Nothingyet.好吧Okay,”此路来者巨煞神”"Somethingwickedthiswaycomes,"”以指读书是我闻”"whenceyouperuseabookwithyourthumbs.“去寻身边屈从人""Gototheonewhosuccumbs."我以胶糖粘密文”llbeattachedwithalittlegum."哦不是吧Leslie让我喘口气吧Oh,comeon,Leslie,gimmeabreak.我讨厌谜语和其他类似胡扯Ihateriddlesandothersuchnonsense,我想要录下这句话Iwantthatontherecord.但有书的煞神Butsomethingwickedwithabook是我的前妻图书馆的那个ismyex-wife,fromthelibrary.也就是说我是那个屈从人Whichmeansmtheonethatsuccumbs.呃”我以胶糖粘密文”Uh."llbeattachedwithalittlegum."老天啊那个女人真的厉害GoodGod.Thatwomanisgood.”随我去收雪入笼"Followmetotheshelteredsnow.廿二线索余汝从”Only22clueslefttogo."22条吗22?嗯这就是我选择爱的女人啊Well,thisisthewomanvechosentolove.嗯我猜做不了其他事Well,Iguessthere'snothingtodo只能整晚有条理地解开这个谜题了butspendtheentirenightmethodicallysolvingthispuzzle.我们根本没办法按时完成的There'snowaywe,llfinishintime.好的我就列出一个她和我去过地方的列表Okay,lljustmakealistofplacessheandIhavebeentogether,希望我们能运气爆发找到最后一条线索andhopeweluckoutandfindthelastclue.我们分成小组覆盖更多地方We,llsplitup,covermoreground.走Move.嘿KrissKross我们能换点音乐吗Hey,KrissKross,canwechangeupthemusic?这听起来像是一个自杀僧侣电影结尾的背景音乐Itkindofsoundsliketheendofamovieaboutamonkwhokilledhimself.这确实是听着哥们Itis.-Listen,man.这里有很多美女啊There'ssomeattractivewomenhere.你为啥不找个备胎呢Whydon'tyourebound?这里没人比得上MillicentNobodyherecomparestoMillicent可能除了JerryExceptmaybeJerry.严格来说他们共享50%的DNATechnicallytheyshare50%ofthesameDNA.别那样盯着Jerry看了StopstaringatJerrylikethat.Hompherman雪花玻璃球博物馆我不知道现在能用了啊Idon'tknow.It'sworkingnow.嘿怎么样啊Hey,how'sitgoing?今天是情人节It'sValentine'sDay,而我在雪花玻璃球博物馆加夜班andmworkingthelateshiftofthesnowglobemuseum,所以我就在我想呆的地方呢somrightwhereIwannabe.好吧嗯我女朋友给我留了条线索在这我觉得Okay,um,mygirlfriendleftacluehere,Ithink.就是为了寻宝游戏的1.ike,forascavengerhunt.对哦你就是Ben是的Right.You'reBen.-Yes.她说你中午就会过来的Shesaidyou'dbeherebynoon.玩得不咋地啊好吧嗯谢了KevinNotdoingsogood.-Allright,well.Thanks,Kevin.我该告诉你就在某个雪花球的底下msupposedtotellyouthatit'sunderoneofthesnowglobes.但是是哪一个呢哦我不知道啊Butwhichone?Ooh,Idon,tknow.不不对Nope.No.不你真是玩得烂啊Nuh.Youreallysuckatthis.好吧为啥你不直接告诉我在哪然后我就能走人了呢Okay,whydon'tyoujusttellmewhereitisandIcangetoutofhere?那就没有意思了啊Thatwouldtakeallthefunoutofit.啊-赢家啊Ah!-Winner.啊哈哈哈我找到了Ah,ha,ha,ha.Ifoundit.是的哦等等Yep.Oh,wait.不那可能是另一个寻宝游戏的线索No,thatmightbefromanotherscavengerhunt.Ann看起来你已经见过Jeff了Ann,lookslikeyoualreadymetJef£嗯你没跟我说你的朋友这么好看啊Well,youdidn'ttellmethatyourfriendwassobeautiful.哦谢了JeffAww,thanks,Jeff.没我妹妹那么好看但是Notasbeautifulasmysister,but.你也懂法律的youknowthelaw.什么不别啊JeffWhat?-No,no,Jeff.这里听起来像是葬礼的情况下我要怎么找到Ann的一生之爱啊HowamIsupposedtofindtheloveofAnn'slifewhenitsoundslikeafuneralinhere?只要Chris还抑郁就改不了的There'snochangingitaslongasChrisisdepressed.好吧我去和Chris聊你去帮AnnAlright,mgonnagotalktoChris.YougohelpAnn.她不会赢我最好的候选人们She'snotrespondingtomytopcandidates,所以我们得来点意外选项rsowe'regonnahavetogowithsomewildcards.搞定-还有April.Gotit.-AndApril.谢谢你啥都没干啊Thanksfornothing.我为啥要帮她啊WhyshouldIdoanythingtohelpher?因为哪怕你做的一切都是给她添麻烦Becausedespitethefactthatallyoudoisgiveherahardtime,她也会为你做这些的shewoulddothisforyou.就和你朋友Orin一起去桌子底下躲起来吧JustgohideunderthetablewithyourfriendOrin.是的我看到你了怪人Yeah,Iseeyou,weirdo.所以Leslie拖你加入了这个鬼鬼祟祟的相亲小计划是吧SoLesliedraggedyouintothissneakylittlefix-upscheme,huh?我们困在一场公园娱乐邰社区情侣活动了We'restuckataParksandReccommunitycouplesevent.你还能怎么做呢Whatelseyougottado?去他的吧你是对的Whatthehell.You'reright.放马过来吧TomBring'emon,Tom.我是Harris听说你不顾一切想来一片男人mHarris.Heardyouweredesperateforaman-piece.我们营业不Weinbusiness?他33岁了还和父母住一起He,s33yearsold,stillliveswithhisparents,而且他去过至少200场Phish的演唱会了andhe'sbeentoatleast200Phishconcerts.其实是308Try308.我必须下一位了mgonnahavetopassrightnow.你的损失大妹砸Yourmistake,mama.所以BiII这位魅力惊人的女性以拯救生命为生So,Bill,thisstunningwomansaveslivesforaliving.你能带来点什么呢Whatdoyoubringtothetable?呃从哪开始呢呃我是个业余杂耍-Uh,wheretobegin?Uh,manamateurjuggler-不不该从那开始的Nope,youshouldn'thavebegunthere.滚出去吧没人想和杂耍师一起GetoutNoone'stryingtogetwithjugglers.感谢参与Thanksforplaying.你好我的名字是RonSwansonHello,mynameisRonSwanson.我相信LeslieKnope可能在这留下了什么寻宝游戏线索IbelieveLeslieKnopemayhaveleftsomekindofscavengerhuntcluehere.确实是稍等Shedid.Onesecond.先生们Gentlemen.啊Ah.晚上愉快Enjoyyourevening.嗯总是会说”如遇紧急情况敲碎玻璃”Well.italwayssays"Breakglassincaseofanemergency."等等Waitasecond.嗯拿到了Well,therewego.嘿ChriS你换个音乐怎么样Hey,Chris,whatdoyouthinkaboutchangingthemusic?当然Sure.呃嘿你知道吗Ugh.Hey,youknowwhat?你应该看看好的一面Youshouldlookonthebrightside.我很肯定Millicent跟不上你跑步的速度msurethatMillicentcouldn'tkeepupwithyouonyourruns,所以现在你又可以全速跑了sonowyoucangofullspeedagain.正好相反她比我跑得快Onthecontrary,shewasfasterthanIwas.我为了跟上她的速度破了很多次个人纪录Isetmanypersonalbestsjusttryingtokeepupwithher.这就是我担忧的事情Whichiswhatmworriedabout.要是她就是我的最佳纪录呢Whatifshewasmypersonalbest?不你的最佳还在前方呢No,yourbestisstillaheadofyou.我已经44岁了Iam44y