ParksandRecreation《公园与游憩（2009）》第三季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

最近流感疯狂肆虐Thereisacrazyflugoingaround.很多悲惨的脱水的人们得了高烧和腹泻1.otsofmiserable,dehydratedpeoplewithhighfeversanddiarrhea.其中一个脱水的高烧的悲惨的人是AprilAndoneofthosedehydrated,high-fevered,miserablepeopleisApril.她讨厌我Whohatesme.我要换个护士Iwantanothernurse.没人了我们现在人手很紧Well,therearenone.We'restretchedprettythinrightnow.那我要换个门卫他们也能做你做的对吧“Then,Iwantajanitor.Theycandowhatyoudo,right?是的护士和门卫完全可以互换Yep.Nursesandjanitorsaretotallyinterchangeable.除了没人装荡♥妇♥的时候会扮作门卫Exceptnoonedressesuplikeajanitorwhentheywanttobeslutty.我感觉到你因为我亲了Andy而生我的气Igetthesensethatmaybeyou,reangryatmeforkissingAndy.不我没有你在说什么呢这疯了吧No,I'mnot.Whatareyoutalkingabout?That'scrazy.然后你觉得在我身上撒气会很好玩Andthatyouthinkitmightbefintotakeitoutonme.请别这么做Pleasedon'tdothat做我什么都做不了我病了Do?Ican'tdoanything.msick.我的毯子掉地上了Myblanketsareonthefloor.公园与游憩公园与游憩第3季第2集第3季第2集所以JJ我们想和你聊聊丰收节的事情So,JJ,WewantedtotalktoyouabouttheHarvestFestival.是啊我听说你要重启了Yeah,Iheardyouwerebringingthatback.抱歉我最近身体有点不适Sorry,Ihaven'tbeenfeelingmyself.我在组织这次大规模的丰收节Well,morganizingthishugeHarvestFestival而我需要至少80家本地商户参加and1needatleast80localbusinessestoparticipate.通常来说这是我会喜欢做的事情AndnormallythisisthekindofthingIwouldlovetodo.但我就是觉得很累But,mjustfeelingreallytired.我想可能是我的过敏发作了1thinkmaybemyallergiesareactingup.我今天已经吐了大概五次了vealreadyvomited,like,fivetimestoday.我们今晚要在商会开会We'rehavingameetingtonightattheChamberofCommerce我们会宣讲所有细节andwe,regoingtogooverallthedetails.我们会很感激你能来加入我们的Andwe'djustIoveifyoucouldcomeandjoinus.当然Sure.为了我最喜欢的顾客什么都行Anythingformyfavoritecustomer.我打赌你对所有女孩子都这么说Ibetyousaythattoallthegirls.哦不不实际k你真是我最喜欢的Oh,no.No,actually,you'remyfavorite.你去年光在华夫饼上就花了一千多Youspentover$1,000lastyearonwafflesalone.给Here.我不知道给你带什么1didn'tknowwhattobringyou,所以我买♥♥了点杂♥志♥和口红soIjustgotsomemagazinesandlipstick.女人的东西Womanstuff.谢谢Thanks.我父母就给我买♥♥了那个Allmyparentsgotmewasthat好的我不是很擅长在医院探访人Okay,well,mnotverygoodatvisitingpeopleinhospitals,所以我就走了Somgoingtogo.嘿如果你见到Andy别告诉他我在这好嘛Hey.IfyouseeAndy,willyounottellhimmhere?好的-因为发生那件事之后Okay.-Becauseofwhathappened,我不想让他觉得停下1don'twanthimtothink.-Stop!不想了解Don'twanttoknow.我对其他人的私事了解越少就越开心ThelessIknowaboutotherpeople'saffairs,thehappierIam.我对关心别人毫无兴趣mnotinterestedincaringaboutpeople.我曾经和一个家伙共事三年都不知道他的名字Ionceworkedwithaguyforthreeyearsandneverlearnedhisname.那是我最好的朋友BestfriendIeverhad.我们现在偶尔还不说话Westillnevertalksometimes.所以我们设计了一个收入分成公式So,we'vedevelopedarevenuesharingformula希望能吸引大多数企业主但.thatwillhopefullyappealtomostbusinessowners,but.1.eSlie回家吧你病了1.eslie.Gohome.You'resick.我没病只是过敏mnotsick.It'sjustallergies.别这样伙计们就让我进去Comeon,guys.Justletmeinthere.不你不能进来No.Youcan'tcomeinhere.你不会进来的You'renotcomingin.1.eslie你看起来很累而且都是汗1.eslie,youlooktiredandyou'reallsweaty.你一直看起来很累而且都是汗你的理由是啥Youlooktiredandyou'reallsweatyallthetime.What'syourexcuse?你想说这个吗JerryYouwanttogothere,Jerry?不想好我进来了No.-Fine,mcomingin.Donna堵上门就现在Donna,barricadethedoornow.Donna别这样放我进去Donna,comeon.Justletmein.不行Mmm-mmm.要么回家要么回到隔离区Eithergohomeorgobackintoquarantine.我不回家mnotgoinghome.出去吧Leslie回家-走人Getoutofhere,Leslie.GoHome.-Hitthebricks.哦不是吧不不不不不她在我的东西上抹细菌Comeon.No,no,no,no,no.She'sgermingupallmystuff.哦呸Aw,yuck!1.eslie1.eslie!AnnPerkinsAnnPerkins.嘿跑得怎么样Hey.Howwasyourrun?最后一公里跑了3分24秒个人最低成绩Endedwithafive-and-a-halfminutemile.Mypersonallow.我觉得这个镇的路面好软Ithinkthepavementinthistownissoft.口罩是怎么回事What'swiththemask?流感预防Fluprevention.我的身体是一个严格调整的微芯片Mybodyisfinely-tuned,likeamicrochip,而流感就是一粒沙子andthefluislikeagrainofsand.它真的可以关掉整个系统Itcouldliterallyshutdowntheentiresystem.我的身体也像个片薯片Mybody'slikeachip,too.Apotatochip.不好笑No.说到薯片你跟我明天一起吃晚饭对吧Speakingofpotatochips,youandIareonfordinnertomorrow,yes?是的当然我超级超级激动非常期待Yes.Definitely.msuper,superexcited.Lookingforwardtoit.太棒了Excellent.真棒哥们真棒Waytogo,buddy.Waytogo.我们出去约会了几次我真的喜欢他We'vebeenonacoupleofdates.Ireallylikehim.问题是他就像是个完美的人类男性Theproblemishe,slikeaperfecthumanman.我找不到一点缺陷Ican'tfindoneflaw.有一次我觉得他放了屁TherewasonetimeIthoughthefarted.但其实是我Butitwasme.我需要找人顶替AprilIneedtofindsomeonetofillinforApril.我知道我找不到一个Now,Iknowmnotgoingtofindsomeone极端刻薄又麻木冷漠的人who'sbothaggressivelymeanandapathetic.April确实是个全才Aprilreallyisthewholepackage.但我觉得我可能认识一个ButIthinkImightknowsomeone同样低效的人whowillbejustasineffective.你好啊Andrew有啥新鲜事Hello,Andrew.What'snew?一大堆啊Awholelot!来看看我刚刚发明的超级吸管Checkthisout.Ijustinventedit.Super-straw.所以就坐在这做你的事So,justsithereanddoyourthing.我需要把衬衫扎进去吗DoIhavetotuckmyshirtin?因为实话说非要扎我就不乐意了Because,honestly,that,skindofadealbreaker.让它飞吧1.etitfly.嘿等等April在哪Hey,wait.WhereisApril?她没事吧-是的Issheallright?-Yeah.我刚刚给她放了天假Ijustgaveherthedayoff.我要是请一天假会很奇怪吗WoulditbeweirdifIaskedforthedayoff?啊不没事我不用了Yeah,no,it'sokay.Ididn'tthinkso.抱歉你要走了吗我以为我们要开会的msorry.Areyouleaving?Ithoughtwehadameeting.不我们要开我只是觉得这里有点冷No,Wedo.It'sjustIthinkit'salittlechillyinhere.你还好吗你眼神都呆滞了Areyouokay?Youreyesareglassy.哦我的天哦我的.她她病了吗你病了吗Oh,myGod.Oh,my.Isshe.Isshesick?Areyousick?没No.是的她病了Yeah!She'ssick.所以我才戴着这个然后用洗手液喷自己That'swhymwearingthis,andmistingmyselfwithhandsanitizer.我没生病我只是有过敏好吧Iamnotsick.Ijusthaveallergies,okay?我吃了片氯雷他定然后吐掉了ItookaClaritinandIthrewthatup,所以我又吃了一片我吐掉了soItookanotherone.Ithrewthatup.然后我吃了第三片然后它就呆着了我已经好起来了Andthen,Itookathirdanditstayeddown.mgettingbetter.好吧你发烧了-你才发烧了咋Allright.You'reburningup.-You'reburningup.What?我得离开这里Ihavetogetoutofhere.我只有2.8%的身体脂肪Ihave2.8%bodyfat.我的身体是个微芯片一粒沙就能毁掉Mybodyislikeamicrochip.Agrainofsandcoulddestroyit.我的身体是个微芯片Mybody'samicrochip.1.eslie回家吧-不我不能1.eslie,gohome.-No,Ican't.我不能回家我得为商河准备好Ican'tgohome.IhavetogetreadyfortheChamberofSecrets.商会如果这次会议不能完美进行Commerce.-Ifthismeetingdoesnotgoperfectly,丰收节在开始之前就要结束了thentheHarvestFestivalisgoingtobeoverbeforeitbegins.我不能回家Icannotgohome.好吧那谁是你的医生Okay,then,who'syourdoctor?Ann是我的医生Ann'smydoctor.她也是世界上最漂亮的护士Andshe'sthemostbeautifulnurseintheworld.来吧Comeon.哦天现在我好热现在这里真的好热Oh,God.Now,mhot.NoW,it'sreallyhotinhere.好吧那是你的烧Okay,well,that'syourfever.1.eslie我把你的症状输到这个东西这里1.eslie,Itypedyoursymptomsintothethinguphere,然后它说你可能有“网络连接问题”anditsaysyoucouldhave"networkconnectivityproblems".40104.1.1.eslie你脱水了我要收你入院了1.eslie,you'redehydrated.madmittingyou.如果我病了我能做这个吗IfIwassick,couldIdothis?你在做什么侧手翻Whatareyoudoing?-Cartwheels.我没在做吗-没有AmInotdoingthem?-No.不用担心我之前做过这种展示1.ook,don'tworry.vedonepresentationslikethisbefore,Tom会跟我一起所以会照顾好的andTomwillbewithme.So,you,reingoodhands.不是我不相信BenIt'snotthatIdon'ttrustBen.而是我对Ben没有信任It'sthatIdon'thavefaithinBen.还有我开始忘记Ben是谁了And,also,mstartingtoforgetwhoBenis.我来整理大纲如果你想llhandlethegeneraloutline.Ifyouwantto.听着-直接加入的话1.ook.-.justjumprightin.对这一类的重要展示你能做的最坏的事Theworstthingyoucandowithanimportantpresentationlikethis就是过度准备isover-prepare.那.-所以Well.-So,我觉得我的最佳选择是去水疗Ithinkit'sbestifIgotothespa.不我们向Leslie保证要准备会议的No,WepromisedLesliewe,dprepforthemeeting.不Ben是你向Leslie保证No,Ben.YoupromisedLeslie.你看我从来不向LeSlie保证任何事See,IneverpromiseLeslieanything.那样我永远不会让她失望Thatway,Ineverdisappointher.我试着保持体贴Itrytobeconsiderate.好我出发泡个三温暖了再会Well,Iamoffforasoakandaschvitz.Arrivederch.RonSwanson的办公室RonSwanson'soffice.好的我来给你转接Yes,Iwilltransferyou.我又挂断一个电♥话♥了Ijustdroppedanothercall.我觉得你可能想要一组新枕头Ithoughtyoumightlikeafreshsetofpillows.你是想闷死我吗Areyoutryingtosmotherme?救命啊这个荡♥妇♥护士想要用枕头闷死我Help!Thissluttynurseistryingtosmothermetodeathwithapillow!好吧算了-离我远点荡♥妇♥Okay,nevermind.-Stayback,slut!我知道她想干什么1knowwhatshe'stryingtodo.她想让我崩溃She'stryingtogetmetobreak.你知道吗我才不会呢Andyouknowwhat?mnotgoingtodoit.我要保持专业我要换上笑脸mgoingtobeprofessionalandmgoingtoputonahappyface.然后我要去一个储藏柜Andthen,mgoingtogointoasupplycloset掰断一堆压舌板andsnapabunchoftonguedepressors.好的我们来聊聊你的开场白Okay.So,let'stalkaboutyouropeningremarks.想让我给你写段说唱词吗我给你写一段Doyouwantmetowriteyouarap?llwriteyouarap.不你知道吗No,youknowwhat?你永远没办法搞定的你太白人了You'renevergoingtobeabletopullitoff.You,retoowhite.不然来段音乐剧歌♥曲之类的Howaboutashowtuneorsomething?我只是计划用非音乐的方式自我介绍Iwasjustplanningtointroducemyselfnon-musically,然后让所有人看下手上的资料andthen,geteveryonetorefertotheirpackets.等等诸如此类-不行Andblah,blah,blah.-No.不要”等等“好嘛No"blah,blah,blah",okay?你需要跟我一起把每条细节过一遍Youneedtogoovereverysingledetailwithme.1.eslie我向你保证我不会马马虎虎的好吧现在休息一下1.eslie,IpromiseyouIwon'thalf-assthis.Okay?Now,getsomerest.我有好消息我觉得我的烧刚刚退了1havesomegreatnews.Ithinkmyfeverjustbroke.再见Goodbye.这个刚掉出来了Itjustcameout.我饿死了我从昨天开始就没吃午饭了Iamstarving.Ihaven'thadlunchsinceyesterday.所以我准备去Callahan'sSo,mgoingtoheadovertoCallahan's.哦不不不别去那他们家酸黄瓜给得很小气Oh,no,no,no.Don'tgothere.Theytotallyskimponpickles.让我帮你去大头Joe家买♥♥1.etmegotoBigHeadJoe'sforyou.他们家的墨西哥煎饼好吃疯rTheyhavethemostinsaneburritos.我对外国食品没啥兴趣Idon'tmuchgoforethnicfood.不相信我他们有个叫做“肉旋风”的东西No,trustme.Theyhaveonethat'scalledthe"MeatTornado".去年真的吃死了一个人Itliterallykilledaguylastyear.你在“肉旋风"那里说服我了Youhadmeat"MeatTornado".你在干嘛Whatareyoudoing?嘿那个流感药真的帮忙了Hey.Thatflumedicinereallyhelped.我觉得好了百分之一千跟新的一样Ifeelathousandpercentbetter.Goodasnew.这条围巾看起来怎么样Doesthisscarflookokay?我不想看起来很闷但我也不想看起来很蠢Idon'twanttolookstuffy.ButIalsodon'twanttolooktoo"schlubby.回到床上去-所以不戴围巾了吗Getbackinthatbed.-Sonotothescarf?回到床上去Getbackinthebed.不我要去开那个会No,mgoingtothatmeeting.要不你回到床上要不我绑你回去Eitheryougetbackinthebed,orIwillstrapyoudown.我之前做过别考验我vedoneitbefore.Don'ttestme.好吧好吧好吧Okay,okay,okay.现在你想有什么超能力Now,whatsuperpowerwouldyouratherhave?你想会飞还是想透明化Wouldyouratherbeabletoflyorbeinvisible?Ed先来Ed,gofirst.飞吧我猜Fly,Iguess.哦我忘了说你只能飞离地面一米五Iforgottotellyou.Youcanonlyflyfivefeetabovetheground.我给这些家伙的水疗经历带来了一些潇洒和情趣Ibringacertainpanacheandspicetothespaexperiencefortheseguys.我加入之前他们就是在热水里静静煮着的三个老白男BeforeIjoined,theywerejustthreeoldwhitedudesquietlyboilinginhotwater.你是愿意住在大袋鼠的袋子里呢Wouldyouratherliveinthepocketofagiantkangaroo还是自己肚子上有个袋子orhaveapocketonyourownstomach袋子里一直有只袋鼠呢thathasatinykangarooinitallthetime?PrestonPreston.自己肚子袋上有小袋鼠Tinykangarooinmystomachpocket.哦我忘了提小袋鼠是种族歧视Forgottomention,thetinykangarooisaracist.嘿Ann-发生什么了Hey,Ann.-Whathappened?我几个小时前见你的时候你还好啊Ijustsawyouafewhoursago,andyouwerefine.不是那种“该死你好帅”的好而是健康方面的好Notlike,Damn,you'refine,“butfinehealth-wise.我的身体没有用来抵御疾病的脂肪Mybodyhasnofattoprotectitselffromdisease.事情会发生得很快听我说Thingshappenveryquickly.Listentome.重要的是你要帮我的身体补充电解质lt,sveryimportantthatyoureplenishmybodywithelectrolytes在我每次非自愿流失体液之后aftereveryinvoluntarylossofbodilyfluids.哦天-我的身体生病时会流失很多体液Oh,boy.-Mybodytendstolosealotoffluidswhenit,ssick.我的大脑在起火我要死了Mybrainisonfire.mdying.好吧你肯定是得流感了Well,youdefinitelyhavetheflu.我的天Oh,myGod.微芯片被击垮了Themicrochiphasbeencompromised.PierreGarcon是第六轮被选上的PierreGarconwasasixth-roundpick.Collie是第四轮Colliewasthefourthround.印第安纳波利斯小马队真的知道怎么选人IndianapolisColtsknowhowtodraftsowell.他们确实Theyreallydo.Andy这也太好吃了Andy,thiswasdelicious.这很棒吧哈It,sawesome,huh?是一种全新的肉食系统Ifsawholenewmeatdeliverysystem.谢谢你孩子Thankyou,son.你觉得我们去停车场Whatdoyousaywegoouttotheparkinglot,传几个球烧掉热量如何runafewpassplaystoburnoffthecalories?你就是个停不下来的好点子机器Youareanunstoppablegoodideamachine!我喜欢AndyIlikeAndy.我在这个部门被一大群女人包围msurroundedbyalotofwomeninthisdepartment.其中还包括男性Andthatincludesthemen.哈哈哈Hup,hup,hup!PeytonManning防守积极ReggieWayne小马队绕过防守PeytonManningreadingthedefense!ReggieWayne,Coltscorner!Andy等我Andy,waitup!嘿APriIHey,April.我看到你呼叫我了我能为你做什么Isawthatyoucalledforme.WhatcanIdoforyou?我还需要感冒药Ineedmoreflumedicine.真正的请求啊Anactualrequest.但不能给你那个药劲太大不能加量Well,youcan'thaveany.Thatstuffispowerful,noextradoses.我都没吃Ididn'ttakeany.1.eslie进来偷走了就离开了1.esliecameinhereandstoleitandleft.1.eslieLeslie1.eslie?Leslie!嘿你看见Leslie了吗Hey,haveyouseenLeslie?我做了个梦Ihadadream她进了这个房♥间thatshecameintothisroom,偷了我的药告诉我别告诉你stolemyflumedicine,toldmenottotellyou,然后从墙上那个洞里消失了andthendisappearedthroughthatholeinthewall.你说门吗Thedoor?要不我们给他们定个套房♥吧好吗Maybeweshouldgelike,asuitehereforthem,okay?BenWyatt你好BenWyatt!Hello!嗨LeslieHi,Leslie.见到你真好-你也是Goodtoseeyou.-You,too.哇你烧得太厉害了Wow,you,rereallyburningup.我能要点钱付刚刚打过来的出租车吗拜托CanIgetsomemoneyforthecabthatItookoverhere,please?当然多少Sure.Howmuch?我不确定mnotsure.我看了计价器上面显示的是埃及象形文字Ilookedatthemeter,andithadEgyptianhieroglyphicsonit.哇你知道汇率吗Wow.-Doyouknowtheexchangerate?所以我们来吧Soshouldwedothis?哦天等等Oh,boy.Holdon.小心了-怎么Becareful.-What?地板和墙刚刚换位置了Thefloorandthewalljustswitched.好吧Okay.走路要非常小心Walkverycarefully.Pawnee商会重新呈现丰收节你知道我觉得你不信任我来处理这事有点侮辱我了Youknow,Ifinditalittleinsultingthatyoudon'ttrustmetohandlethis.不是我不信任你好吧It,snotthatIdon,ttrustyou,okay?是丰收节是我的项目是我的职业生涯有危险It'sjustthisHarvestFestivalismyproject.It'smycareerontheline.我需要保证我尽力做好每件事让它成功AndIjustneedtomakesurethatvedoneeverythingIcantomakeitwork.好的表演时间到Okay.It'sshowtime.好吧Okay.晚上好各位我是LeSIie怪物这里是夜间新闻Goodevening,everyone.mLeslieMonster.AndthisisNightline.好的我不会这么开头的-不会吗Okay,Iwouldn'topenwiththat.-No?我们坐下吧好吗-行Whydon'twesitdown.Okay?-Yep.自♥由♥意志主义是关注个人自♥由♥的Libertarianismisallaboutindividualliberty.它不能被定义为“自♥由♥派”或者“保守派”Anditshouldneverbedefinedbytheterms"liberal"or"conservative."而共♥产♥主义不是好事对吧是的Andcommunismisnogood,right?-That'sright.巨大失误Bigswingandamiss.然后几个神职人员负责那个词叫什么来着Andwhat'sthewordforwhenafewclericsareincharge?宗教寡头Religiousoligarchy.我靠Holyshit.我能记得事情Icanrememberthings.我猜Iguess.嘿我的牛排嫩一点Hey,keepminerare.一个深得我心的男人Amanaftermyownheart.我在这个房♥间某个地方吐了Ivomitedsomewhereinthisroom.我不记得哪里了虽然1don'trememberwhere,though.等等你可能要看看那个抽屉Wait.Youmightwanttocheckthatdrawer.别Stop拉屎了pooping.你得从地板上爬起来了Youhavetogetupoffthefloornow.这个地板是我的朋友Thisfloorismyfriend.没有什么像身体崩溃样Nothinglikeacompletephysicalbreakdown让一个男的看起来没那么可怕了tomakeaguyseemlessintimidating.我爱流感Ilovetheflu.然后我说“你知道吗"AndthenIsaid,"Youknowwhat?“我觉得我们该把这些香蕉弄出去”"IthinkWeneedtogetthesebananasoutofhere."坐下吧孩子们Haveaseat,boys.哦嘿Tom很高兴你能赶上Oh,hey,Tom,gladyoucouldmakeit.你和你的水疗伙伴们过得开心吗Youhaveanicedaywithyourspabuddies?实际h是的Ben很开心Actually,yes,Ben,Idid.而我的水疗伙伴们拥有镇上一些汽车经销商Andmyspabuddiesownacoupleofcardealershipsintown,他们同意给丰收节捐赠一个车队andthey'veagreedtodonateafleetofvehiclesforHarvestFestival,给整个活动提供25辆货车twenty-fivevansfortheentireevent.好的Tom我准备好了上去介绍我Okay,Tom,mready.Getupthereandintroduceme.明白Yougotit.我不能让你这么做LeslieIcan'tletyoudothis,Leslie.嘿不是你决定的McCluskeyHey,thisain'tyourcall,McCluskey.嘿ROn我能问个问题吗Hey,Ron,canIaskyouaquestion?当然Sure.是关于April的It'saboutApril.我不喜欢掺和进人们的私Idon'tliketogetinvolvedinpeople'spersonal.我