ThehistoryofEnglishin10minutesChapter1.docx

ThehistoryofEnglishin10minutesChapter1 Anglo-SaxonorwhateverhappenstotheJutesTheEnglishlanguagebeginswiththephraseUpYoursCaesar!AstheRomansleaveBritainandalotofGermanictribesstartfloodingin,tribessuchastheAnglesandtheSaxonswhotogethergaveusthetermAnglo-Saxon,antheJuteswhodidn,t.TheRomansleftsomeverystraightroadsbehind,butnotmuchoftheirLatinlanguage.TheAnglo-Saxonvocabwasmuchmoreusefulasitwasmainlywordsforsimpleeverydaythingslikehouse'woman'loafandwerewolfThursdayandFridaywerenamedinhonourofAnglo-Saxongods,buttheydidn,tbotherwithSaturday,SundayandMondayastheyhadallgoneoffforalongweekend.Whiletheywereaway,ChristianmissionariesstoleinbringingwiththemleafletsaboutjumblesalesandmoreLatin.Christianitywasahitwiththelocalsandmadethemmuchhappiertotakeonfunkynewwordslikemartyr,bishop,and'font'.AlongcametheVikings,withtheiraction-manwordslikedrag,ransack,thrust,and'die',andaloveofpickledherring.Theymayhaverapedandpillagedbuttherewerealsointo'give'andtake,twoofaround2000wordsthattheygaveEnglish,aswellasthephrasewatchoutofforthatmanwiththeenormousaxe.Chapter2 TheNormanConquestorexcusemyEnglish1066Truetohisname,WilliamtheConquerorinvadesBritain,bringingnewconceptsfromacrossthechannelliketheFrenchlanguage,theDoomsdaybookandthedutyfreeGalois,smultipack.Frenchwasderigeurforallofficialbusiness,withwordslike'judge',jury,'evidence9,andjustice,cominginandgivingJohnGrisham,scareerakick-start.LatinwasstillusedadnauseaminChurch,andthecommonmanspokeEnglishabletocommunicateonlybyspeakingmoreslowlyandloudlyuntiltheothersunderstoodhim.Wordslikecow,'sheep,andswine,comefromtheEnglish-speakingfarmers,whilethealacarteversions-beef,mutton,andpoke,comefromtheFrench-speakingtoffsbeginningalongrunningtrendforrestaurantshavingcompletelyindecipherablemenus.Allinall,theEnglishhaveenrolledabout10,000newwordsfromtheNormanButtheystillcouldn,tdrafttheLordwith(Inaudible).ThebonhomieallendedwhentheEnglishnationtooktheirnewwarlikelingoofarmies9,navies,and"soldiers9andbegantheHundredYearsWaragainstFrance.Itactuallylasted116yearsbutbythatpointnoonecouldcountanyhigherinFrenchandEnglishtookoverasthelanguageofpower.Chapter3 ShakespeareoraplaqueonbothhishousesAsthedictionarytellsus,about2000newwordsandphrasewereinventedbyShakespeare.HegaveushandywordsIile'eyeball',puppy-dog,andanchovy,andmoreshow-offywordslike"dauntless9,4besmirch,andlackluister,.Hecameupwiththewordalligator9soonafterheranoutofthingstorthymewithcrocodileAndanationoftea-drinkersfinallytookhimtotheirheartswhenheinventedthehobnob,.Shakespeareknewthepowerofcatchphrasesaswellasbiscuits.WithouthimWewouldnevereatour"fleshandblood,"outofhouseandhome,we'dhavetosaygoodriddance,tothegreen-eyedmonster,and"breakingtheice,wouldbeasdeadasadoornai.Ifyoutridtogetyourmoney,sworth'you,dbegiven"shortshrift,andanyonewhoiaiditonwithatrowecouldbehoistwithhisownpetard,.Ofcourseit,spossibleotherpeopleusedthesewordsfirst,butthedictionarywriterslikedlookingthemupinShakespearebecausetherewasmorecross-dressingandpeoplepokingeachother,seyesout.Shakespeare9SpoetryshowedtheworldthatEnglishwasalanguageasrichvibrantlanguagewithlimitlessexpressiveandemotionalpower.AndhestillhadtimetoopenallthosetearoomsinStratford.Chapter4TheKingJamesBibleorlighttherebelightreadingIn1611"thepowersthatbe,turnedtheworldupsidedown,witha"labouroflove,anewtranslationofthebible.AteamofscribeswiththewisdomofSolomon,-wenttheextramile,tomakeKingJames,stranslationallthingstoallmenwhetherfromtheirheart,sdesire,tofightthegoodfight,orjustforthetfilthylucre9.ThissexynewBiblewent"fromstrengthtostrengthgettingto"therootofthematter9inalanguageeven"thesaltoftheearth,couldunderstand.tThewritingwasn,tonthewall9,itwasinhandylittlebooksandwithfireandbrimstone,preachersreadingfromitineverychurch,itswordsandphrase"tookrOOtltOtheendsoftheearth,wellatleasttheendsofBritain.TheKingJamesBibleisthebookthattaughtusthataleopardcan,tchangeitssports9,thatabirdinthehandisworthtwointhebush,that'awolfinsheep,sclothing,ishardertospotthanyouwouldimagine,andhowannoyingitistohaveaflyinyourointment9.Infact,justas"JonathanbegatMeribbaal;andMeribbaalbegatMicah.AndMicahbegatPithon,theKingJamesBiblebegatawholeglossaryofmetaphorandmoralitythatstillshapesthewayEnglishisspokentoday.Amen.Chapter5TheEnglishofScienceOrhowtospeakwithgravityBeforethe17theCenturyscientistsweren,treallyrecognizedpossiblybecauselab-coatshadyettocatchon.ButsuddenlyBritainwasfullofphysiciststherewasRobertHooke,RobertBoyleandevensomepeoplenotcalledRobert,likeIsaacNewton.TheRoyalSocietywasformedoutoftheInvisibleCollegeaftertheyputitdownsomewhereandcouldn,tfinditagain.AtfirsttheyworkedinLatin.AftersittingthroughNewton,sstoryaboutthe'pomum'fallingtotheterra,fromthearbor,fortheumpteenthtime,thebrightsparksrealizedtheyallspokeEnglishandcouldtransformourunderstandingoftheuniversemuchquickerbytalkingintheirownlanguage.Butsciencewasdiscoveringthingsfasterthantheycouldnamethem.Wordslike4acid,"gravity9,"electricityandpendulum9hadtobeinventedjusttostoptheirmeetingsturningintoanendlessgameofcharades.Liketeenageboys,thescientistssuddenlybecameawareofthehumanbodycoiningnewwordslikecardiac9andttonsi,4ovary,and'sternum'-andtheinventionofpenis,(1693),'vagina,(1682)madesexeducationclassesabiteasiertofollow.Thoughandclitoris,wasstillasourceofconfusion.Chapter 6 EnglishandEmpireorThesunneversetontheEnglishlanguageWithEnglishmakingitsnameasthelanguageofsciencetheBibleandShakespeare,Britaindecidedtotakeitontour.Askingonlyforland,wealth,naturalresources,totalobediencetothecrownandafewlocalwordsinreturn.TheywenttotheCaribbeanlookingforgoldandachancetoreallyunwinddiscoveringthe'barbeque',thecanoe,andaprettygoodrecipeforrumpunch.Theyalsobroughtbackthewordcannibal,tomaketheirtripsoundmoreexciting.InIndiatherewassomethingforeveryone.'Yoga'tohelpyoustayinshape,whilepretendingtobespiritual.Ifthatdidn,tworktherewasthecummerbund,tohideapaunchand-ifyoucouldn,tevenmakeitupthestairswithoutturningcrimsontheyhadthe'bungalow'.MeanwhileinAfricatheypickedupwordslikevoodoo,andtzombie,kickingofftheteenhorrorfilmandevenmoreterrifying,theybroughthometheworld,stwomostannoyingmusicalinstrumentsthebongo,andthebanjo,.FromAustralia,Englishtookthewords'nugget,"boomerang,andwalkabout,andinfactthewholeconceptofchainpubs.BetweentopplingNapoleon(1815)andthefirstWordWar(1914),theBritishEmpiregobbleduparound10millionssquaremiles,400millionpeopleandnearlyahundredthousandginandtonics,leavingnewvarietiesofEnglishtodevelopallovertheglobe.Chapter 7 TheAgeoftheDictionaryOrthedefinitionofahopelesstaskWithEnglishexpandinginalldirections,alongcameanewbreedofmencalledlexicographers,whowantedtoputandendtothisanarchyawordtheydefinedas'whathappenswhenpeoplespellwordsslightlydifferentlyfromeachother9.OneofthegreatestwasDoctorJohnson,whose'DictionaryoftheEnglishLanguage9whichtookhim9yearstowrite.Itwas18inchestalland20incheswideandcontained42,773entriesmeaningthatevenifyoucouldn,treaditwasstillprettyusefulifyouwantedtoreachahighshelfForthefirsttime,whenpeoplewerecallingyouapickleherring9(ajack-pudding;amerryandrew;azany;abuffoon),aJobbemnowlloggerhead;blockhead)orafopdoodle,(afool;aninsignificantwretch)youcouldunderstandexactlywhattheymeantandyou,dhavetheconsolationofknowingtheyallusedthestandardspelling.Tryashemighttostopthem,wordskeptbeinginventedandin1857anewbookwasStartedwhichwouldbecometheOxfordEnglishDictionary.Ittookanother70yearstobefinishedafterthefirsteditorresignedtobeArchbishop,theseconddiedofTBandthethirdwassoboringthathalfhisvolunteersquitandoneoftheendedupinanAsylum.Iteventuallyappearedin1928andhascontinuedtoberevisedeversinceprovingthewholeideathatyoucanstoppeoplemakingupwordsiscompleteSnufTbumble.