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Unit I,Exercises and Discussion Preparation,Unit One-Reading IThe Wink,How to keep a happy marriage As is often manifested,some marriages are good while some are sour.How to maintain a happy marriage?The following are some important ingredients in a happy marriage:1.Trust 2.Confidence 3.Understanding 4.Adjustments 5.Sexual gratification 6.Good role model 7.Respect 8.CommitmentLoyalty and Obligation,Western Culture and Chinese Culture,Western CultureChristian and Jewish Familyby ReligionLove is the only reasonRational FamilyA family which is made up with two or three former factorsChinese FamilyChildrenAlways center of a family.Although divorce rate is increasing,the most is nice because of children.,1The WinkExercisesPage 5,Check your comprehension 1.T 2.F 3.T 4.T 6.F 7F Check your vocabulary AMy mom is well-known for being a good cook.She decided to cook a simple,but delicious meal for over 150 guests,though it was not necessarily her duty to do so.Dad sat there as my Mom kept listing one after another her complaints about him.,2The WinkExercisesPage 5,Dad sat there as my Mom blamed him by listing one after another her criticizing item.Dad was not good at cooking at all and the only thing that he could do was to prepare a cup of coffee.And thats probably why he hadnt eaten dinner yet.,3The WinkExercisesPage 6,My parents acts explicitly expressed the love they had for each other,with no reliance on words.Action speaks louder than words.What my parents do clearly express or show they love each other without the words.He was not sure what he was heading for and he nearly gave up the idea of getting married.,4Check your vocabulary B P6,glowing 2.harangued 3.ranting and raving 4.renowned 5.placid 6.grievance 7.beleaguered 8.browbeaten 9.In all honesty 10.took upon,Reading II When Feather Fly,Reasons for conflicts in marriage Attack on identity 人身攻击Lack of satisfaction Misunderstanding and communication gap.Lack of understanding and supportNon-performance of duties and non-fulfillment of responsibilities,Reading II When Feather Fly,Different perceptions on priorities and unable to handle the issue jointlyLack of uncritical humorArgumentsAdhering to instigating attitudes.,Reading II When Feather Fly,Inevitably all marriageseven the very best of marriageshave conflict.That is a normal part of two people working out a life together.But there are good ways to work out differencesand there are bad ways.The following are some suggestions on how to handle conflict in marriage:,Reading II When Feather Fly,Do you think the suggestions are general rules we can not change?Are they contradictive?We should know who we are,our own family and the background in which we have been brought up.We should know if we can change and we have such an experience of change.,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 10,Check your comprehension A:The author wanted her husband to pull the dead ostrich out of the pen immediately while her husband wanted to wait until he came back from work that day.The husband and wife hadnt communicated enough and there were many things that they needed to talk about,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 10,They were the ostriches the couple raised.Because the other ostriches would be affected when they saw the dead body of a fellow ostrich.He stepped out to try to move the ostrich.He came back home a while later because it was too heavy for him to move himself and he needed his wifes help,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 10,She has learned a lot from this incident:whenever a problem pops up in a marriage,solve it:A couple needs to work out a problem together:Counseling helps ones marriageForgiveness and forgetfulness are necessary in marriage.,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 10,Check you comprehension BThe other ostriches will be affected when they see the dead body of a fellow ostrichI said what could hurt my husband the most.Our farm was not getting enough money to support the whole family.,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 10,As a result,any incident,like the dad ostrich,was enough to start rows(quarrelling)between the wife and the husband.A spiritually mature person or couple may be willing to go for some religious or psychological counseling so that they can get rid of the problem in their marrieage.,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 1011,They can always get refreshment from reading the Word of God(religious texts,such as the bible(基督教圣经），the Quran(伊斯兰教的可兰经）,Bhagavad Gita,Buddhas teachings,etc.Bhagavad(-)Gita bvdi:t n.【印度教】薄伽梵歌，福者之歌(意译“世尊歌”。印度教经典摩诃婆罗多第6篇的一部分)亦称作 Gita Check your vocabularyLoopThe king had pearls looped round his neck./Loop the wire over the gate to keep it shut.,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 11,AdjustMy father went to adjust the television set for my grandmother./It is necessary to check and adjust the brakes regularlyHarness toto fulfill the task satisfactorily,we need to harness individual talents to one common end（共同目标）.Trump cardThe coach saved his star pitcher(棒球的投手）for a trump card.,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 11,SpinThe racing car spun over the track./Barbara waved as she spun past in her new sports car.Roll ones eyesThe woman rolled her eyes at Smith.Heave a sighThey all heaved a sigh of relief when Jane finally left.With ones nose in the airHes been walking with his nose in the air since he won the prize.,When Feather Fly-Exercises-Page 11,Sting upThe factory stinks up the town./Those onions are stinking the whole house up.,Reading IIIThe Odd CouplePage 14,Check your comprehension AIt shocked the people in Washington because the Fedderses family life seemed so perfect,yet it turned out to have had all kinds of nasty things in it:money problems,image-obsession and violence.The others thought that the couple was happy married.They were rich and successful:they were living in a big house and the kids were having a nice education.,Reading IIIThe Odd CouplePage 14,Charlotte Fedders finally made the decision to leave her husband the day when John Fedders physically abused their eldest son.He did not have a nice relationship with his boys.There was no equality in the house.He acted like a mean master with tough and inexplicable rules for the family,The Odd CouplePage 1415,He went back to the divorce court out of two reasons:He wanted to have his payments to the family reduced.He wanted to get some of the money Charlette Fedders would get from the book on their relationship in the marriage.The court accepted his plea and awarded him the money he demanded,but the public was shocked to hear this verdict(陪审团的裁决）.,Reading IIIThe Odd CouplePage 14,Before she was married,Chariotte Fedders was a young nurse with low self-esteem.She was a poor,clinging pathetic creature during her marriage,and her husband and children were everything to her.But after she divorced her husband,she changed into a self confident and articulate woman.,Reading IIIThe Odd CouplePage 15,Check Your Comprehension B 1.T 2.F 3.F 4.T 5.TCheck Your Vocabulary AShockedrocked A morality storya fableServing as a warninga warning beaconRacingzoomSpotlessly clean/shininggleaming,Reading IIIThe Odd CouplePage 15,The final blowthe last strawHit/beatthump Practicallyvirtually Much more expensive than one could affordway beyond ones means For the reasonon the grounds.Depressingdispiriting Perceivedspy,Reading IIIThe Odd CouplePage 1516,Check Your Vocabulary B 1.the last straw 2.battling it out 3.at the expense of 4.beyond the means 5.the last straw 6.fell apart.7.confined 8.on the grounds 9.bore the brunt 10.at the expense of,Reading IVWhy I Want a Wife Page 1920,Check your comprehension A 1.a 2.c 3.d 4.d 5.bCheck your comprehension BBecause a wife is expected to take over all the boring house chores at home so that the husband is free to do the things that he want to.She would expect“the wife”to do lots of things.The wife should:,Reading IVWhy I Want a Wife Page 20,Take care of children:Keep track of their appointment with doctors and dentists;Feed the children and keep them clean;Do all the laundry;Make sure that the children have an adequate social life with their friends;Take leave from work to stay at home with the children if they fall ill;,Reading IVWhy I Want a Wife Page 20,Be a good cook.Take care of the children when the family is on holiday.be a courteous(polite)hostess before guests;Be sexually sensitive to the needs of the spouse;Be faithful the marriage;etc.A wife is not treated as an equal partner in marriage.When marriage fails,its,Reading IVWhy I Want a Wife Page 20,usually the wife who takes the strain.The husband usually does not want to be burdened by the children,and that is why the children“of course”stay with their mother.More examples:“a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care,because,of course,I cannot miss classes and school”,Reading IVWhy I Want a Wife Page 20,“Naturally,I will expect a fresh,new life:my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.”These words reflect the imaginary husbands thoughtless and selfish assumptions（想当然）.She should be a wife,mother,nanny(保姆、奶妈），secretary,chef,career woman all in one,making not physical or spiritual/emotional/intellectual demands on the husband at the same time.,Reading IVWhy I Want a Wife Page 20,Check your vocabulary 1.rambled 2.replenish 3.entailed 4.monogamy 5.is cluttered 6.adhered to 7.keep track of 8.replenished 9.adherence10.entails,Part Three Expressions Plus,Expressions that are likely to be used to talk about relationship a bumpy(磕磕碰碰的）relationship a broken homeA family feud(quarrel,dispute,row)Relationships can break down because of genuine(real)misunderstandings.A rift(crack/hole)can develop between two people or groups,Part Three Expressions Plus,His love affair with Jane has turned sour.I think theyll split up(break up).Our marriage has had its ups and downs,but basically we are OK.Lets try and make up.Their relationship is on the rocks.They are still in a honeymoon period.They arent getting along very well.,Part Three Expressions Plus,They are going through a rough patch(phase).They cant see enough of each other.She cant put up with him any more.They are going(their)separate ways.They stick together through thick and thin.,Collections including the target word“marriage”:,a happy/successful marriageA(n)broken/disastrous(having extremely unfortunate)/failed/unhappy marriage.Marriage vows 誓约/marriage break-upMarriage break down/marriage counselingTo save ones marriageA marriage of convenience(n.基于利害关系的婚姻)A shotgun marriage,A shotgun marriage“奉子成婚”,一位朋友去参加熟人婚礼，喜宴上看到新娘腹部微隆，稍表疑惑，便有好事者窃窃私语说这是a shotgun marriage“奉子成婚”。据说，a shotgun marriage（或a shotgun wedding）这个表达源于二、三百年前的美国。有一女子跟男友意外怀孕，事发后男友却不愿承担责任，于是，女子的父亲便手持猎枪（shotgun）威胁其男友，要他们完婚给自己女儿一个交代。A shotgun marriage 的定义是：one or both parties are forced into marriage due to an unplanned pregnancy（一方或双方由于意外怀孕而不得以结婚）。例如：It looks like that its a shotgun marriage for those two.看上去这两个人好像是奉子成婚。,Expressions Plus,Collections including the target word“marriage”:The marriage is over/breaks down(up)/ends/falls apart/fails,Expressions that may be used to talk about marital problems and their solutions:,Problems and possible causes:have very different role expectations.Completely withdraw emotionally(stonewalling阻碍)Unfaithfulness/criticism and nagging(n.唠叨）Bossiness(跋扈）/clinging dependency黏糊秤不离砣，砣不离秤,Expressions that may be used to talk about marital problems and their solutions:,Problems and possible causes:domination(n.支配）/abuse（虐待）/loss of love/self-centeredness/abusive contempt.Depression/anger can wreak(cause or do）havoc（n.大破坏）with our lives.Having unrealistically blissful(wonderful or perfect)expectations of marriage guarantees our disappointment.,Expressions that may be used to talk about marital problems and their solutions:,Marital satisfaction goes down after children are born.Couples drift apart.(分居)Solutions:Listen carefully,give empathy(sympathy or understanding)and positive responses.Assume responsibility for your own feelings,Solutions:,A little empathy will work miracles.Stop the escalating(rising/increasing/growing)bitterness.Dont expect it to be easy;there are many challenging barriers to having a good marriage.,