破产姐妹花 第三季第14集(Broke Girls S03E0104)》英中字幕.doc

目 录第一集2第二集14第三集26第四集40第一集Welcome to the Williamsburg Diner.欢迎来到威廉斯堡餐厅My name's Max, 'cause the hospital我叫Max 因为医院不让我妈wouldn't let my mother name me "Oops."把我的名字取为"糟了个糕"Uh, I've been out of town all summer.我整个夏天都外出了Anything new?有啥新的吗?Anything new? Let's see.新的? 我想想Well, facebook went public, and Edward Snowden went private.脸谱网上市了 而斯诺登则跑路了(金卡戴珊 美国名媛 以放浪著称)Kim and Kanye had a baby,金卡戴珊生了孩子so now there's another Kardashian to not keep up with.所以卡戴珊家又多了一个引人关注的成员(Paula Deen因被员工控告种族歧视而丢了许多工作)Paula Deen is out, gay marriage is in,Paula Deen丢了工作 同性婚姻合法了And a teacher in california is out加利福尼亚的一个老师for letting her students get it in.因为和学生们上床而被开除了(克里斯布朗 蕾哈娜的男友)Justin Bieber got a hit and run, Chris Brown got a hit and run,贾斯汀比伯和克里斯布朗肇事逃逸了(克里斯布朗被爆殴打女友蕾哈娜)Rihanna got hit and still didn't run.但蕾哈娜被打了却没有跑Oprah gave Lindsay $2 million,奥普拉赔偿林赛2百万美元Cunnilingus gave Michael Douglas throat cancer,迈克尔道格拉斯因为总给别人口交and Michael Douglas gave guys everywhere而得了喉癌 他还四处播种another excuse not to do that.却找借口否认事实(阿曼达拜恩斯近期上传自己的裸照)Egypt went crazy, Amanda Bynes went crazier,埃及暴乱了 阿曼达拜恩斯也更加疯癫And the NSA checks our phones like a crazy ex-girlfriend.国家安全局监控我们的手机 就如同疯狂的前女友般(德州通过最严堕胎法 佛罗里达出现专杀黑人的白人)Oh, and Texas hates women, Florida hates blacks,还有 德州恨透了女人 佛罗里达恨透了黑人And everybody hates everything with the exception每一件事都让大家恨透了 除了一件事(安吉丽娜朱莉做了乳腺切除手术)Of Angelina Jolie, who is totally awesome.安吉丽娜朱莉 把全世界都震惊I meant on the menu. Anything new on the menu?我指的是菜单 菜单有啥新菜色I have no idea. Let me check.这个不清楚 我查下Hey, Caroline, anything new I should know about?嘿 Caroline 有啥新鲜货吗?The royal baby smiled at the queen.英国皇室宝宝会对着女王笑了I meant at the diner.我指的是这家餐厅Oh. I think we're maybe哦 我想也许我们washing the forks now? Let me check.应该洗叉子了? 我问一下See, Max, one quick change,看吧 Max 衣服一换and we went from polyester and pitiful to powerful and proud.咱们就从玻璃心可怜虫变得强大骄傲了just like superman.就像超人一样Except that superman changed in a phone booth,不过超人是在电话亭里换衣服的not a stall that says, "for a good time, call Max."而不是在这小摊档前喊着"想找乐子 就找Max"Well, if you have a problem with it, why did you write it?既然你对这个有意见 为毛不写个投诉信'Cause I didn't have enough eyeliner to write,因为我没有多余的眼线笔去写"for an interesting time, call Caroline.""想要欢乐时光 请找Caroline"Look. Look, Earl, we're wearing看 看啊 Earl 我们又穿上our "Max's homemade cupcakes" T-shirts again."Max手工蛋糕"的衣服了See the logo?看到这个标记了吗?Well, actually, I try never实际上 我一直努力克制自己to look you ladies in the "chestal" area.不要看向你们那"高耸入云"的部位It keeps things on the up and up.这只会让人血脉贲张啊Oh, Earl, you are one in a million, literally,Earl 你真是难得啊'Cause 999,999 men have only looked me in that area.因为999999个男人都只会看我的胸Well, I got to go home.好了 我要回家了("老公老婆不登对" 1997年开播的美剧)I'm binge-watching dharma and Greg on HuLu.我在葫芦网上追看"老公老婆不登对"呢Oh, I missed so much growing up in korea.我在韩国长大 所以错过了许多乐趣What, like puberty?比如错过了发育期?Max, in my country, I'm average height.Max 我这身高在韩国是平均高度And in my mind, I'm still rich,我也以为我还是白富美and my health care plan isn't flintstones chewables.依然享有自己的医疗保险So who wants to go in the back,有谁想去后面and see how amazing our brand-new cupcake shop is?看看我们新的蛋糕店?(瑞秋雷 美食节目主持)Bring down the enthusiasm, Rachael Ray.瑞秋雷 请淡定点Right, we're not supposed to get好的 开张之夜all excited about this opening tonight.咱们不该这么兴奋的Last time, we made a big deal, and the shop didn't do so well.因为上次咱们做出重要决定 可是店却倒闭了Ha! That's like saying the people哈 就像是那些经历过near the nuclear explosion didn't do so well.核爆炸的人 也会出毛病Girls, I am so proud of you two,孩子们 我为你们俩骄傲getting back up on that horse.你们重振旗鼓了After my first jazz record didn't sell,自从我的第一张爵士乐唱片滞销I turned to a life of drinks, drugs, and loose women.我整天沉迷于酒精 毒品 女色之中Funny how sometimes things just work out right.有趣的是 生活偶尔会歪打正着But how can you be opening your cupcake window right now?但是你们的蛋糕铺子怎么能现在开张呢?- It's 2:00 a.m. - Our hours are 2:00 to 4:00.- 都凌晨两点了 - 我们的营业时间是两点到四点We're targeting the "post bars" demographic.专门面向过完夜生活的人群Drunk Williamsburg guys.这些威廉斯堡的醉鬼们That's my target when I'm by myself我单身时也是向这些人下手的and now my target at the new shop.而他们现在是我新店的目标客户Funny how sometimes things just work out right.有趣的是 生活偶尔会歪打正着We have no big expectations about the opening tonight.我们对今晚的开张不抱过高的期望It's a soft opening.只是软开张啦What's the difference软和硬开张between a soft one and a hard one?有啥区别吗You want me to show him?你要我示范给他看看吗Thanks, but we're cool.多谢 还是免了吧Seriously, it won't take me a minute.真的 我不用一分钟就能示范出来It's fine, Oleg.算了吧 OlegJust so you know, I'm already there.还是想说一声 我那话儿已经准备好了Get ready, this room's had an amazing transformation.准备好咯 这屋已经完成美丽蜕变了- Rachael Ray? - I mean, it's fine, whatever.- 你瑞秋雷上身? - 总之还不错啦Han, before we go in, close your eyes.Han 进去之前 先闭上眼睛I want you to get the full effect.我想让你大吃一惊Yeah, and I want to trip you.好啊 我还想绊你一跤- She's kidding. - No, she's not.- 她开玩笑的 - 不 她是说真的Yeah, I'm not.对 我说真的Han, I promise, I won't let her trip you.Han 我保证不会让她绊你Now, close your eyes.现在 闭上眼睛- What? - Now, I thought- 怎么了? - 我现在she was going to hit me.想着她打算揍我- She was not. - Yeah, I was.- 她不会的 - 我会Okay, no more blind eye bull crap.好吧 别搞闭眼睛这套了Just show me the damn smelly back room.赶紧给我看臭烘烘的储藏室吧Let me turn off the lights for a more dramatic impact.我先把灯关了 效果会更震撼What? I didn't do anything.又咋了? 我啥都没做It was me.是我He now knows what hard is.现在他知道什么叫"硬"了I cannot believe my eyes.我简直不敢相信自己的眼睛I felt the same way when I first saw you.我第一次见你的时候也是这种感觉Original tan, original tile, original too.新色调 新地砖 都是新的What do you think, Oleg?怎么样 Oleg?Nice.不错"Nice"? All you got is "nice"?不错? 对你来说只是不错?This place was like great adventure for rats!收拾这屋简直就是老鼠大战!They were waiting in line to bite us.老鼠排着队等着咬我们Caroline, show them your bite marks.Caroline 给他们看你身上的老鼠牙印- I'd rather not. - Nice?- 还是免了吧 - 不错?It used to smell like the place poop comes to die.以前这里闻起来简直就是化粪池Or death comes to poop.或者是化尸池And look what we did! We created瞧我们的小巧手 我们打造出了the greatest, coolest, chic-est cupcake shop, and I love it!最棒 最酷 最时髦的蛋糕店 我爱死了!But you know, no enthusiasm. Just a soft opening.不过 不激动 这只是试营业And, Han, this was all possibleHan 这都要感谢你because you gave us the space rent-free.免费把这屋子借给我Rent-free? Now, refresh my memory.免费? 容我想想When exactly did I say "rent-free"?我啥时候说"免费"了?On the 27th, 4:15 p.m., you said,27号 下午四点十五分 你说"I don't care about that dump, you can have it for free.""我不在乎那个破地方 你尽管免费用""Burn it to the ground, for all I care.""就算一把火把它烧了我也无所谓"I knew learning English would come back to bite me in the ass.我就知道我迟早会栽在英语上面Someone's already knocking? That's a really great sign, Max.这么快就来人了? 绝对是好兆头 MaxTime to open.开窗营业Look, girls, I'm blowing this party horn for you.姑娘们 我来为你们吹角庆贺Thanks, Sophie, but we didn't want to make a big deal.谢谢 Sophie 不过我们不想太高调It's a soft opening.这只是软开张Oh, I love a soft opening.噢 我最喜欢软软地张开了Hello, Sophie.你好 SophieOh, hello, Oleg.你好 OlegSorry, Sophie, about this uncomfortable meeting.抱歉 Sophie 这个会面有点尴尬If we had known you were going to surprise us,早知道你会突然出现- We wouldn't have invited Oleg. - Yeah, I was there- 我们就不邀请Oleg了 - 亲眼目睹你俩分手when you two broke up and I'm still suffering from PTSD.到现在都给我留下了巨大的心理阴影"post-traumatic Sophie drama."像是上演了"吓尿你"的电视剧There's no drama.少胡扯And the award for the best drama goes to.最佳剧本奖得主是.Not us. Right, Oleg?不是我们 对吧 Oleg?Yes, we're friends now.嗯 我们还是朋友See, girls, I cheated on her,看吧 姑娘们 我背叛了她So she smashed in my car windows.所以她把我车窗给砸了And my apartment windows.公寓的窗也砸了And your stereo and your flat screen.还有你的音响 你的平板电视And my brother's flat screen and his daughter's computer.还有我弟弟的平板电视 他女儿的电脑Yeah, she surprised me. She wasn't supposed to be home.是啊 我被她吓了一跳 她居然在家We got it out of our systems. Good night, friend.但我们一笑泯恩仇了 晚安 小伙伴Good night, friend.晚安 小伙伴And, Oleg?对了 Oleg?Wow.哇That is one lucky horn.这真是个"性运号角"Honey, look. Look, some customers.快看 有客人来了Hey, cool guys!嘿 酷哥!Come over here and eat something from the girls' soft opening!快来姑娘们的"软开张"尝点鲜哦!That is so not the way I would've gone,我才不会这样吆喝But I'll take it.但是欢迎客人Hello, hello.你好What have we got here?这里都有啥?Welcome to Max's Homemade Cupcakes.欢迎来到Max手工蛋糕小铺In England we call 'em "fairy cakes."我们英国人管它叫"小仙人松糕"Fairy cakes? Damn it.小仙人松糕? 天啊Why are the hot ones always gay?为什么帅哥都搞基了Here you you darling, give us the whole lot.亲爱的 我们全要了Oh, my god!额滴神呐!A black American Express Card?黑色的美国运通卡?I haven't held a black one in my hands in years.我好多年没有摸过黑卡了I would've guessed you hadn't held a black one ever.我敢说你从来没摸过"黑大粗"吧Sorry, it's our first night. Cash only.不好意思 今晚第一天开张 只收现金Oh, wow. He is really out of it.哦 哇 他真的是晕乎了- What is he on? - Besides me later?- 他想干嘛? - 带上我搞三人行?Do not know, but am jealous.不明觉厉啊And now I'm really jealous.我现在确实羡慕嫉妒恨了I'm sure he'll be fine.他肯定会没事的啦Oh, I'd say he's more than fine.哦 他不仅会没事I'd say he's my next boyfriend.还会成为我的下一任男友Roland, mate, wake up.Roland 哥们 醒醒He's not breathing.他没有呼吸了I can't wake him, call 911!我叫不醒他 打911!Call 911!打911!Let's all just calm down.能不能淡定点啊I have seen this happen a lot.很多人看到我都是这样装晕的One summer I had a part-time job as a lifeguard at a crack house.有年夏天 我曾在一个破房子做救生员He'll come to in a second.他过会儿就会醒过来He's dead.他死了Called that wrong.看来我搞错了Max, the guy who died in front of our shop last nightMax 昨晚在我们店门口死翘翘的那人was a rock star.是个摇滚明星He used to date Kate Moss.是凯特摩斯的前男友(英国超级模特)No offense, but dating Kate Moss无意冒犯 但是貌似全英国男人is like a law in england.都和凯特摩斯交往过Everyone has to do it when they turn 21.这就像是他们到了21岁的必做之事His name was Roland Glass, and he has two gold records.他叫Roland Glass 他出过两张黄金唱片I can't believe I've never heard of him.我居然从未听说过他I can.你就是Your go-to jam is the soundtrack from Newsies.你上大号时 放的音乐是"报童"(百老汇音乐剧)Yesterday a rock star, and today he's gone.昨日天皇巨星 今日香消玉殒You never know.世事无常啊That's why I ordered us breakfast所以我的早餐From the fancy breakfast place on the corner.都是在街角那家高级餐厅订的You ordered from magna cum latte?你在法国餐厅订早餐?Every day when I pass by it, I think two things:每天路过那里 我只有两个想法One, I wish I had a gun.一 真希望手上有把枪And, two, someday I'm gonna order breakfast to be delivered二 总有一天我要让他们给我送With one of their fancy-ass croissants.那种高端洋气上档次的牛角面包Who knows, tonight I could do too much heroin天晓得我今晚会不会因为嗑药过多And die an unexpected death.而突然暴毙了呢But at least then I'd die doing something my mother loved.但至少我暴毙时 还做着我娘亲最爱的事情You're right, Max. You only live once.你说的对 Max 生命只有一次Yolo.活在当下And you only live till the next time you say "yolo."你要是再说个词儿 就真的会挂掉Oh, no. More bad news.噢 该死 坏消息According to my google alert for Max's homemade cupcakes-我订阅了Max手工蛋糕的谷歌快讯You have a google alert for our business?你为了我们的生意还订了快讯?I only have a google alert for "Oprah goes topless."我只订了 "奥普拉真空上阵"I'm not saying it's gonna happen,我不是盼着它发生But I'm saying, if it does, I'm gonna be the first one to know.我是说 万一发生了 我可以第一个知道Look, it's online that Roland Glass died in front of our shop.瞧 网上都传开了 Roland Glass死在我们店前And now my phone just died. It's an epidemic.我手机也挂了 死亡会传染啊Oleg, what are you still doing with the arrow from our shop?Oleg 你还想用哪个箭头干嘛?I thought you said that was hung.你说它不用挂就已经"挺"了No, I said I was hung.不 我是说我"挺"了And I can't put it up now我现在没办法把这挂上去With that crowd of people in front of your window.因为你们窗外都是人There are people in front of our window?窗外都是人?Dude, is this where my man Roland died?朋友 这就是Roland死去的地方吗?Yeah, right over there.没错 就在这里Then I'm gonna put this here next to paddington bear.那我就把这个放在帕丁顿熊旁边I caught this at his last concert.这是我在他最后一次演唱会上抢到的And I also caught this.我还得到了这个So, like, what, dude? He just dropped to the ground?是怎么个情况 他就那么倒在地上吗Actually, he hit right here first, smiled, then fell.他其实是先撞到这里 笑了一下 然后倒下去He smiled? Dude.他还笑了? 好样的Max, can I see you over here?Max 借一步说话Sorry for your loss. And dope hat.深表遗憾 还有这帽子很丑Thanks. I found it in a dumpster.谢谢 我在垃圾桶捡的Max, what are you doing?Max 你干什么啊?Don't tell them he hit our counter.别告诉他们 他是撞在柜台上死的We need to distance ourselves from the entire event.咱们不能和这事扯上关系This spells disaster for our new business.这种事情会毁了我们的生意的Dude, can I get three dozen cupcakes?朋友 来一打蛋糕吧?Or it spells success.也许对生意有帮助I have beaucoup friends coming here for the midnight vigil.回头会有大帮朋友来祭奠How much are your cupcakes?蛋糕多少钱?$7.7块That's a lot.真贵Dude. Roland would've wanted it that way.朋友 Roland就喜欢这样的# knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door # 叩 叩 叩响天堂的大门 #And he hit right here before he fell.他就撞在这里 然后倒下了And as he fell, he looked up at me and smiled.他倒下的时候 他看着我微笑Content. Peaceful.安详而平静的微笑That'll be $7, cash only.7块 只收现金Mira, can you break a 50?美女 能找开50吗?Max!嘿 Max!Yeah, what do you need?什么事?Change for a 50.50块 找零Got it. I mean, why, god, why?来啦 我是说 天妒英才啊!# knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door # 叩 叩 叩响天堂的大门 #Ten, ten, ten, ten. # heaven's door #十块 十块 十块# 天堂的大门 #Max, we're almost sold out in here.Max 这里蛋糕快卖光了I need more cupcakes from the kitchen.我去厨房再拿点Got it. I'll come right in.得令 马上来Earl?Earl啊?Yo!在!Same split as before. 30 cents every dollar you sell.老规矩 一块钱提成三十分What a waste.太浪费了You know how much money we could make if we sold pot?你知道卖大麻的话能挣多少吗?Oh, you want in on that too? Same split.这你也想入股? 分红不变Oh, man, that hippie patchouli smell天啊 这嬉皮士香精油的味is worse tHan the poop was.比厕所还难闻Han, shh. These people are in mourning. Show some respect.Han 小声点 这些人在哀悼呢 放尊重点Me? Me show some respect?我? 我要尊重他?What will you two do next,你们俩接下来想怎么着sell cupcakes at the diabetes wing难不成要去儿童医院at the children's hospital?向糖尿病人销售蛋糕?How dare you doubt my sincerity?你怎么能怀疑我的诚意呢?I personally have shooed a homeless man我亲自赶走了一个流浪汉away from peeing on that shrine twice.不让他往神龛上撒尿 赶了两次啊I don't care what I may or may not have said我不管27号下午4点15分on the 27th at 4:15 p.m.我说了什么Your business is booming, and now I want rent.你的生意火了 我要收店租No way, han. That man could've overdosed anywhere.没门 Han 他在随处都可能嗑蕴药过量But God made him overdose in front of our window as a gift.但上帝让他在我们窗口倒下 作为礼物And, yes, we are accepting that gift because you only live once.所以我们接受这份礼物 因为生命只有一次Yolo.活在当下This isn't "yolo", it's "hodo."这不是"活在当下" 而是"死得值"He only died once.他只能死一次I'm surprised you aren't selling "hodo" t-shirts.我真意外你居然没卖"死得值"这衣服How dare you again?你还敢说?We are simply providing some comfort food我们只不过是给那些需要慰藉的人to people who need comfort.提供可口的食物