破产姐妹 第三季 1215集 2 Broke Girls英中字幕.doc

目 录第12集2第13集13第14集24第15集35第12集- Good evening,ladies.- No.Max,what are you doing?I know this neighborhood is a circus,butour window's becoming a freak show.Max,I don't think that bearded ladyearlier was doing it on purpose.It's more of a menopause thing.He can't afford a cupcake. Hecan't even afford two wheels.What can I get you?- I'll take one vanilla.- That'll be $4.Actually,madam,tonightI'll be paying with a poem.We're paying with a poem,madam.I pull. Shadows push.I was a child then.I was a child then.Spit it out.Hey,you want a poem?Roses are red,violetsare blue,get a job!And another wheel!That felt good. I get why you do that.Wait till you get actual fist-to-facecontact. That's a real high.<font color=#70DB93>-=-Sync:YTET- 定风波 </font><font color=#70DB93>-=-Sync:YTET- 定风波 </font><font color=#70DB93>2.Broke.GirlsSeason 03 Episode 12</font>Welcome to the Williamsburg diner,Deke.Where'd you hear aboutus? Kitchen nightmares?Okay,Max,let's get to it.We have to decide what we're each gonnamake for our pastry school homework.Or true to form,I'll blow itoff,beat you up,and take yours.Of the top of my gianthead,I'm thinking sticky buns.Deke's dark sticky buns.We're talking about dessert,notwhat's going on in your pants.Well,I would've baked brownies,until Iremembered I smoked all the ingredients.Oh,my God,guess who texted me again.Dame Judi Dench? DameJudes texts me all the time.She's thirsty.More like,"Damn,Judi Drench."Oh,hi,Deke. Didn't know you were here.You're everywhere.Pastry school,on the phone withMax talking about pastry school,and now here at the counter talking about eldersex with a beloved star of stage and screen.- You're like.- What?Denzel Washington trappedin Channing Tatum's body?I get that a lot.Anyway,Max,this is the fourth time chefNicolas has texted me outside of school.And this time he sent me a video. Look.Then,Caroline,you spoonthe fat from the pan.It's him making breakfastwith his shirt open.What do you think it means?That he doesn't have afear of bacon splatters.?- He's totally flirting with me,right?- Totally. Chef Nicolas is hot for ya.He has to double up on aprons whenyou're around,know what I'm sayin'?Deke,this is just private bestfriend stuff between girls.You know,that you're not a part of.Can I not be a part of it?And since chef Nicolas is yourteacher and I work at the school,I'd appreciate it if we keptthis just between us three.And me. I saw it over your shoulder.Doesn't hold a candle to myseries of pantless meatloaf videos.Meatloaf. Pick up.Okay,okay,Max,if you have timeto lean,you have time to clean.And if I have time to give you apunch,we have time to have lunch.Max,should we help him find his mom?Oh,no,now there's two of them.Like gremlins.Now,come on. This is a diner,notstudy hall. You're working.I call it "spiritually dying,"but working'sa good word for what we do here too.We could figure it outtomorrow night over some drinks.Couple of white winespritzers. Know what I'm sayin'?That you're a recently-widowedwoman on a girls' trip in Boca?Well,I already ate mywater,so I'm good to go.I am out the door.Hi,I'm Deke. Bye,Max.Oh,he's your friend?For a minute I thought he was that kidI had out of wedlock with Linda Evans.Okay,why are you in here not working?And why are you doing it without me?Look,I've been textingwith Nicolas. He thirstay.He wants me to meet him for adrink after his dinner tomorrow.After his dinner. Youknow what that means.That he thinks he doesn't have to buy youdinner before he makes you his slam piece?"After dinner" is a Booty call.Or as they say inFrance,"A call du bootay."So I need you to hang out with me,because ifI don't have anything else to do at that time,I won't be able to resist him.I don't see it.Maybe because he never pulled a knifeon me,but to me he's,like,asexual.Yeah,like a sexual object.Okay,well,I told Deke I'd help him withhis homework,so you can hang out with us.Hang out with Deke? I didn'teven like the Muppets on TV.But fine,it'll. It'll keep mebusy,because Max,when Nicolas looks at me,it does something to my insides,andI want this to be a relationshipbefore he does something to my insides.If you keep talking about your insides,I'mgonna kick you on your outsides.Okay,so as far as mydessert homework goes.He just texted me again."Ou es-tu?" "Where are you?"And he used "tu",not "vous."We've gone there.Then why are you still here?Because I can't gothere,Max,I'm not ready.Oh,wax situation?Guys don't care about that.So as far as my dessert goes,I wentall-out and actually did some real research.- You googled desserts with dirty names?- Correcto.And it was harder topick one than I thought.I mean,you got your bundt cake,yourlady fingers,kumquat pie."Kum" and "quat".It was right there the wholetime. How could I not see it?So I dug deep,and I have the winner.Croquembouche.I don't know what that is,butshe sounds like a whore.It's a traditional French wedding cake with vanillacream-filled profiteroles dipped in hand-made caramel.Said the only personhere not in pastry school.Oh,cool. I didn't know what it was.Maybe I can help. I happen to knowNicolas loves a pear tarte tatin.Ta-ta-tan!No.I thought I'd distract myself by going out withyou guys,but it feels like the day in high schoolI hung out with thesmokers for street cred.And I used to hang out with rich geekslike you when I needed lunch money.I'm texting Nicolas.What? You said you didn't want him to think youwere up for a wham-bam,thank you,mademoiselle.You're right,Max. I shouldn't text him.He just texted meagain. What's one drink?$18.?It is? Yeah,you better text him.We need a grown-upto pay for the drinks.I'll just say I'm with friends,andhe can join for a drink.Isn't that what people do? I forget.I haven't been a person ordone anything in so long.Or done a person in so long.I won't let it get that far.And by that I mean you won't.I'll give you a signal andthen you'll say we have to go.What's the signal? Full penetration?- No,before that.- So,just the tip?I think I'll just wink.So,croquembouche?I can't pretend to talk.I hope his tongue is wearing protection.Are we making you uncomfortable?No,no,it's just that Iusually like to fast-forwardthrough the kissingparts when I watch porn.Come on,relax,Max. We'rejust having some fun.It's just that you're our teacher,andyour spittle is all over her mouth.We're not in class. Doyou see batter or bowls?Well,we're hoping not to see any balls.I see the outline of one of 'em.Just don't think of meas a teacher right now.Well,I'm kind of learning a lot.You know,for someone who wasn'tgonna have sex,she's having sex.I'm leaving.I haven't felt this awkward since my mom had sexwith my prom date in the limo and made me drive.Your mom sounds cool.Come on,you can'tleave. We just got here.Well,she's about to getthere,and I don't wanna see it.Well,we can make out.You wanna make out? With me?No,a comedy make-out.You know,like.Well,you make it look so tempting.Come on,it'll be hilarious.Let my mouth be yourtongue's panic room.And chef Nicolas coulduse a few pointers.Yeah,he's really bad at it.All right,why not? It mighteven get their attention.On the count of three. One,two.- Did they look?- No,he's busy rounding third.My turn.Max,what's happening?He's licking your face.Leave them alone.Deke seems to know what he's doing.Respect.Well,hate to comedy makeout and run,but,well,I'm already mentally at yummy donuts tryingto binge eat this image out of my mind.Hold on,Max. The signal.See,this is why I don't do girlfriend.Come on,we have somewhere togo or be,something like that.Well.We have to go. See you later.Au revoir.'Sup?Not much. 'Sup with you?Sorry,I have to get this. It's my wife.Girrrl.Oh,I totally forgot to tell you.You're terrible at making out.Well,I never had a father to teach me.Hey,big Mary.Hallway lunch. Love that for you.And you.This could've been your walk of shameright now if I hadn't stepped in,Winky.Yes,last night got a little out of hand.Oh,it was pretty much in your hand.No,it was not,Max.Yes,there might have been a tasteful graze,justto figure out how European he was down there.Good news,it's notwearing a floppy beret.So we are right on track fora perfect fairy-tale romance.Yeah,the princess and the penis.See you at the diner,Max.Au revoir,mes amis.I have to kinda tell you something that you have topromise you kind of definitely won't tell Caroline.Are you about to tell methat when she speaks Frenchit makes you want to slam your headthrough that plate-glass window too?Well,the thing is he's married.He's married? How do you know?He's not wearing a ring,andhe doesn't seem dead inside.- His wife called him after you guys left.- How could he do that?- He's French?- And not tell Caroline.- He's French?- What a jerk.Fronch?I'm telling her right now.Wait,wait,wait,Max,do me a favor.?Can you just wait until afterI turn in my croquembouche?I'm already on thin icewith "au bon pain in my ass."This sucks.He's married,and Caroline has this weird thing in herhead that she has to marry someone who isn't married.Bonjour,Bebe. Ca va?Oh,boy.I'm not really good with any languages.They think it's becauseI got hit by three cars.FYI,if you ever get hit,just stay down.Well,guess what.I got you and me salads. Girls' lunch.Well,I usually just have peanutbutter and crackers in the dark.I hear so much about saladI've always wanted to try it.Sure. Sit. Have some salad.You and me,me and you.Getting to know more about each other.So Bebe,tell meeverything about Nicolas.He's the best. He has theheart and eyes of a dog.- So Nicolas,where do you think he is?- He just said he had a lunch date.Date? Did he use the word "date," orare you just using the word "date"?I mean,it's not likehe's dating anyone.Is he?No,why would he be dating anyone?Exactly,why would he be dating anyone?Yeah,I mean,he's married.Married?You know,salad tastes just like lettuce.You are not going to believe this.Kendall Jenner is applying to colleges?Come on,Max,no.Nicolas is. and get ready. Married.I kissed a marriedman. I'm so mortified.Please don't ever tellanyone I kissed a married man.Okay,I won't tell anyone.- Tell anyone what?- Caroline kissed a married man.But don't tell anyone.All right,I want to go onthe record that I didn't know.Kissing a married man hasnever been in my life plan.It's not on my visionboard or in my dreamscape.I am not that kind of person.But she is the kind of person who has a vision boardand says "dreamscape," so let's judge her on that.I won't judge you,Caroline.I once went out with a married woman.I didn't know she was married untilher spouse came and beat me up.Lesbians are strong.Listen,married,notmarried,don't be so American.You know,in Poland,the weddingvows say,"Do you take this woman.""And maybe some others?"Well,not Polish,and not a lesbian yet.So I'm very upset.And,Max,why are you just standing there?Why haven't you said anything?I kind of knew.Wait. You kind of knew he was married?You kind of knew anddidn't kind of tell me?- What kind of friend are you?- I just found out myself.Well,then why didn't you tell me?I was going to,but then Deke asked menot to until he handed in his homework.And also I thought you might cry.- Oh,and you didn't want to upset me?- Nah,I didn't want to deal with it.'Cause when you cry,you don't justcry once. It's like a six-cry thing.You've got the first shock cry,the silentcry,the ugly cry,the cry because you're crying,the cry after you say you're not gonna cry anymore,andthen the final cry,which is probably my fault.Well,you're wrong,Max,I'm not gonna cry overthis,because I haven't gone far enough down the road.Yes,I was just beginning to think aboutour future,but I'm not that invested.- Then what's this?- My dupe pad.That's right. And look whatI found written on the back."Caroline and Nicolas Saintcroix.""Mr. and Mrs. Saintcroix.""Caroline Saintcroix."That's just being silly.Every girl does that.You're 40.- Oh,man,this is heavy.- I know,very heavy.We're back here,and I have to deal with thefact that I was dry-humped by a married man.No,I think he meanthis dessert is heavy.But yeah,you got a lot going on.So what do you want us to do?Should we throw down? Mess his ass up?Kick him in the face?Or just ignore it so I don'tget kicked out of school?No,I'll deal with Nicolas later.You sure? 'Cause I've alwayswanted to kill a French person.Again.Thanks,but stay outof it. I've got this.I'm gonna rip him a new one.- Bonjour,Caroline.- Bonjour,Nicolas.That wasn't a rip. Wasn't even a tear.Go,go,you two. Got a big,hot bundt here.Go,go,don't be late.You sure that's a croquembouche?'Cause it looks like a coyote poop tree.Caroline,can you watch the phones for me whileI give chef Nicolas this note from his wife?You know what? I'll give it to him.I havesomething I have to say to him anyway.Oh,for next girls' lunch,haveyou ever had sandwiches?'Cause I'm thinking of trying one.Not you.You have got this. You have got this.You broke up with a Kennedycousin. You can do this.Caroline,do you need something?I just wanted to give you thisphone message you just got.From your wife.From your wife. Juliette.?- I know her name.- You're married.Yes,you just got a message from my wife.I feel like something's getting lost inthe translation here,so let me be clear.It's over between us.Why?Why? Because you're married.Again,I know that. But why?What. what do you mean "why"?Why? Because you aremarried. Vous est marie!And note,I did not use "tu"because weare back on the more formal "vous" terms.Look,Caroline,my wife is inFrance,and we have an understanding.Well,I'm having a hard timeunderstanding any of this.And whatever arrangement you and Juliettehave,it's over between you and me.Here.You are very cute when you're angry.I am?Actually,you are very cuteall the time. Cute and sexy.From the moment I saw you,I wanted to.- Put my lips onto yours.- You did?Yes.Caroline,you are asmart,sexy,delicious woman.And now that I've