破产姐妹花 第三季第911集(Broke Girls S03E0911》英中字幕.doc

目 录第九集2第十集14第十一集28第九集Stealing Han's dishes偷Han的碟子so we don't have to clean ours at home is genius.那么咱们在家就不用洗了 这真是天才and a little sad.可是又有点悲催啊Are you kidding?你说笑的吧?This is the greatest thing that's happened to me这是今早我大姨妈来了以后since I got my period this morning.最令人舒畅的事情了Max, Caroline, you're stealing my dishes?Max Caroline 你们在偷我的碟子?Damn it, I didn't think you could see up this high.该死 没想到这么高你还看得到And I didn't think you could sink this low.我也没想到你们的底线已经如此之低Okay, stop, you're already robbing me blind好了 够了 我已经被你们的with your "I'm a waitress" scam."我是服务员"的把戏骗过我了Sorry, but things have gotten kind of messy at home.不好意思 但是我们家乱得要死Yesterday, I had to take a shower昨天 我还得再洗一次澡to shower off the shower I took.冲掉自己因为洗澡而沾上的脏东西You two should get a cleaning lady.你们应该找个清洁工I have a woman I pay to clean my apartment.我雇了个女的打扫我公寓She is expensive, but she may charge you less价格很贵 不过可能你们会便宜点if you don't also have sex on her.如果用不着陪你们上床的话I'll look into it.我帮你们联系一下My grandmother cleaned the house free of charge.我奶奶打扫房间都免费的Of course she didn't have a say in the matter.当然她也没啥权利谈报酬Let's just ask Sophie. She has a cleaning service.直接找Sophie吧 她开家政公司的We have to do something.一定得想想办法了Yesterday, I saw a roach walk out of our apartment.昨天 我在家里都看到蟑螂了Look.听着I'm gonna tell you what I told that guy我准备和你说话 正如who asked me to use my butt to smuggle opium.我对那个利用我的屁股运毒的家伙一样I'll do it!好的!Be ready, Max.准备好 MaxWe have to leave as soon as the cleaning lady gets here.清洁工一来 我们就要走了It's housekeeper etiquette.这是房主表示礼貌的方式In my old life, I go to spin class and lunch with friends,在从前 我会去上刺绣课 然后和朋友吃午饭but you and I will just go outside现在嘛 咱俩就出门and watch the guy who just got out of jail去瞧瞧那些刚出狱的犯人do pull-ups on the light post.在灯柱上做引体向上Calvin's out?Calvin出来了?I'm not gonna leave.我才不走呢I want to watch her clean up my mess.我要看着她打扫房子Yeah, baby.耶 来呀I've waited my whole life to have a servant.我这一直想着有个女仆呢I thought you were gonna be it for the first few weeks你刚来的时候 我以为你可以给我当女仆and then I realized you can't do anything.后来发现你啥都不会干And even though Sophie gave us a discount,虽然Sophie给我们打了折The maid still has to call me "your highness."女仆还是得管我叫"女王殿下"Mostly because I'm pretty "highness" right now.主要因为我现在确实是女王上身Hi, girls.嗨 姑娘们Here I am.我来了Sophie from Sophie's choice cleaning service.我是"苏菲的抉择"家政服务的SophieMeet your cleaning lady Paulina.这位是你们的清洁工PaulinePaulina, meet the girls.Paulina 打个招呼Mm.嗯She'd shake hands, but she only has one arm.她想握手来着 但是她只有一只胳膊Sophie, she can hear you.Sophie 当面说不好吧So what? I know I'm missing arm.怎么了? 我知道我少了只胳膊It's not news.又不是什么新闻So she lost an arm.她丢了胳膊I lost my gold earring down the garbage disposal我在垃圾桶丢了金耳环but I was too afraid to reach into it但我不敢去捡回来because, well, yeah.因为 你懂的Don't worry.别担心I have one arm but I clean like I have three.虽然少了只胳膊 我干起活来就像有三只手I put on more makeup, then I start.我去补下妆 然后就开始I'm sorry.不好意思I didn't realize when I ordered a cleaning lady我没想到 找个清洁女工之时I had to specify I wanted one with two arms.我得特别申明要双臂健全的You can't afford two arms.两只手的你请不起啊You said you wanted a good price.你说了要特价的Half the arms, half the price.半残半价Is that how she lost the arm, Sophie?她因为这活儿而丢掉一只手的吗 SophieYou cut it off so we could get a discount?你为了给我们特价 把她胳膊砍了?Oh, yeah, sure.哦 当然 没错Yeah, I sawed off her arm so I could save you 10 bucks.为了帮你们省十块钱 我把她胳膊锯掉了I start in bedroom.我先从卧室开始Wait, before you do, one question.等一下 先让我问个问题How'd you lose it? James Franco situation?你这胳膊是怎么没的 就像詹姆斯弗兰科那样吗?You had to cut it off to get loose?为了逃命而把它砍掉?You're not saying no.你没否认哦Oh, you know what, let's not go there.好啦 别提这个了You know, it happened, it was in the past.过去的 就让它过去吧I was trapped under this big truck.我当时被一辆大货车给困住了We get it.我们都知道了I drove over your arm.是我开车碾了你胳膊Hey, don't even bother looking for my good jewelry in there嘿 别想从屋里偷我的珠宝because I'm already wearing all of it.因为我全戴着呢Oh, I'm jealous I don't have arm to wear cheap jewelry.好嫉妒你啊 我都没有胳膊来戴这些地摊货Max, I feel bad for her.Max 我于心不忍See? This is why you leave.明白了吧? 所以你要离开In case they show up with too much makeup避免碰到女佣妆太浓and not enough arms.而胳膊又太少的情况Relax, she's tough.别紧张 她很坚强Reminds me of a young me.让我想起了年轻时候的自己Which means I better go hide my pills from her.这意味着我得把药都藏好Max, she scares me.Max 她吓着我了Oh, come on, she's armless.别这样 她只是少胳膊Everything okay?还好吧?You need any help?需要帮忙吗?I didn't get this far in this business by taking help.我取得今日的行业地位 可不是靠别人的帮助Help me! Can't you see I got one arm?搭把手啊 看不见我只有一只胳膊吗?Not gonna be a problem.没问题I would occasionally help my maid.我偶尔也会帮帮我的女仆.You're not interested.你没兴趣Lift!抬起来!Lift, weak girl. Lift.抬啊 没吃饱吗 抬Max, come here. We need help lifting your mattress.Max 我们在抬你的床垫Can you give us a hand?你能来搭把手吗?No! Leave it alone! Leave it alone!不! 别碰! 别碰!Don't lift up the mattress!不要抬床垫!Ah, porno.啊 黄书Your mind is as dirty as your apartment!你的思想就像房间一样肮脏!Yes, it's porn. So what? What's the big deal?是啊 就是黄书 有什么大不了的?It's just the body in its natural form,这就身体的自然状态嘛spread-eagle on a motorcycle.在摩托车上摆个一字马Why is so much of it from the '80s?怎么这么多八十年代的旧杂志?I like mustaches, okay?我喜欢小胡子 不行吗?And it's multitasking. I'm looking for my father.而且我还有个目的 就是看看有没我爸Stop looking. Stop looking right now.别看了 快别看了Why are you suddenly embarrassed?你怎么突然这么尴尬?Porn hub is your homepage.你的首页就是色情链接大全啊Hey, is this a brochure for pastry school?嘿 这是糕点学校的宣传册?Why are you hiding a pastry school brochure?你干嘛藏着这个?Your face is a pastry school brochure!你的脸才是糕点宣传册!Max, it's great you're interested in pastry school.你对糕点学习有兴趣 这很好啊I don't know why you're embarrassed.我不懂你有什么好尴尬的Your face is embarrassed!你的脸才尴尬!Come on, I really think that this is别这样 我觉得这事情Something we should talk about.咱们应该好好谈谈Your face is something we should talk about!你的脸才是我们该好好谈谈的!You made the scary one mad.你把她吓疯了That was dumb move.这么做很蠢Your face was a dumb move!你的脸才蠢!Max?Max你在吗?Max, you never came home after you stormed out,Max 你狂奔出去后就没回来了So I brought you your uniform.我把你的工作服带来了Max?Max什么情况?I live here now.我住这里了My new roommates, the broom and the mop,我的新室友 扫帚和拖把don't sneak around looking at my stuff.它们可不会偷偷动我的东西I got everything I need.这里什么都有Whiskey, toothbrush, toothpaste.威士忌 牙刷 牙膏Well, maybe your new broommate但是当你喝多的时候will hold back your hair when you drink too much.你的扫帚室友可能会拽你头发Which, from the looks of it, will be in about an hour.看情况 估计一小时左右这就会发生了Max, we really need to talk about this brochure.Max 我们真该谈谈这宣传册Look, just because I have a pastry school brochure听着 我有糕点学校的宣传册doesn't mean I'm actually gonna go to pastry school.不代表我想去糕点学校Just like having those porn magazines就像我有黄色杂志doesn't mean I'm actually gonna ride around on a tiger不代表我会去骑着老虎跟水手Performing unspeakable acts with sailors, probably.一起摆出无法形容的动作 也许不会Pastry school is the same as porn.糕点学校就像黄书It's just a dumb fantasy.只是愚蠢的幻想Pastry school is not like porn.糕点学校不是黄书There is nothing in this brochure这宣传册上面About a girl-on-girl croissant.完全没有两女一糕的内容That's good toothpaste.牙膏不错Please stop brushing your teeth.请不要再刷牙了We have a shift to do later.我们一会儿还得轮班呢Okay, the Manhattan school of pastry.好了 曼哈顿糕点学校Your face is the manhattan school of pastry.你的脸才是糕点学校You know it isn't.你知道我的脸不是Max, you could go here for real.Max 你可以去的Tuition is only $3,000 a year. A lot, but doable.学费一年才三千 是有点多 但也能接受A lot but doable?有点多 但能接受?Are we talking about pastry school or fat guy at Last Call?你说的是糕点学校 还是电影里的那个胖子?Here we are, Max. Your dream starts now.到了 Max 这就是你梦想开始的地方What, the one where I'm a black mermaid?啥? 那种吹箫不卖身的地方?Would you relax?放松点行吗?We're just gonna look around and get an application.我们就来看看 然后拿份申请See all that gorgeous equipment you get to use if you went here?看到那些高档设备吗 如果你来上课就能用到Finally you'd have a mixing bowl你终于可以用搅拌碗了that's not a hollowed-out watermelon.不必再用挖空的西瓜皮Can you help me?帮帮我行吗?She's holding me against my will.她在强迫我违背自己的意愿呢She's kidding.开玩笑的If you keep this up, young lady,你再这样的话 小姑娘you are not getting ice cream after.一会儿就不许你吃雪糕Fine!好吧!Come on, here's the office.来 这里是办公室Whatever. Are we almost done here?行了 还没完事吗?I got a court date later.我赶着上庭呢Hi.嗨Hi.嗨Hi.嗨Hi.嗨I'm not sure we're in the right place.我们来对地方了吗?Are any of us really?谁知道我们有没来对呢?We'd like an application. Could you help us?我们想填份申请表 能帮帮我们吗?Oh, god, I hope so.哦 是啊 应该可以I wasn't expecting something this high-pressure我没想到第一天回到这里工作my first day back.就要处理如此高压的业务Let's just say I've been under observation at the nuthouse.我之前在精神病院留院观察Okay, application.对了 申请表It's for Max, here.是给她的 这位MaxShe was very impressed by your brochure.你们的宣传册让她看了很心动Oh, pastry school. Exciting, right?噢 糕点学校 太棒了 对吧?I was a chef here once. And then I wasn't.我以前是这里的主厨 然后就不是了Oh, look. Found the application.噢 瞧啊 找到申请表了Wow. Really didn't think I was gonna be able to handle that.哇 真没想到我竟然做到了Bebe, if you.Bebe 如果.Oh. bonjour. good morning.哦 你们好 早安Uh.呃.Chef Nicolas, these girls are here for an application.Nicolas主厨 这两个女生是来要申请表的Don't worry, I handled it.别担心 我给她们了Almost didn't, then I did.差点给不了 但我还是给了Nice work, Bebe.干得好 BebeOh, do I detect a french accent? Oui?啊 这是法国口音吗? 素吗?Oh, my god, I can't watch.天啊 不忍直视French, indeed. I'm Chef Nicolas Saintcroix,我是法国人 我是主厨Nicolas SaintcroixOwner and head chef. Bienvenue.是这里的法人兼厨师长 欢迎你们Caroline Channing.我是Caroline ChanningIs it over yet?有完没完啊?This is Max. The application's for her.这是Max 是她要来申请的'Sup, frenchie? You eat snails?哟 法国人 你们吃蜗牛?It looks like Bebe forgot the second page.Bebe忘记把第二页也给你们了Oh, boy, forgot the second page. That's not good.天啊 我把第二页给忘了 这可糟了I thought I handled it. Didn't handle it.我以为我给了 原来我没给It's okay, Bebe. Breathe in.没关系的 Bebe 吸气Breathe out.呼气That's good stuff.还真管用She was quite brilliant.她以前相当出色的Then she wasn't.然后她就不行了Here. Fill that out.给 把这个填好And the next step is the pastry exam.接下来是面糊测试Applicants will have to make a classic tart,申请者要做一个传统的水果馅饼Bring them in tomorrow for me to taste,明天带来给我尝尝And we will go from there. Sound good?先就这样吧 没问题吧?Whatever. Maybe I'll think about it.随便吧 也许我会考虑一下Okay, well, maybe you will. Nice meeting you both.好吧 也许你会考虑 很高兴认识你们俩Hope to see you tomorrow, Chef.希望明天可以见到你 主厨He called me chef!他叫我主厨!-Yay! Let's go get ice cream! -No!-耶! 我们去吃雪糕咯 - 不行You should get started on that tart.你应该先把水果馅饼做好It's due tomorrow.明天就要完成了I got plenty of time.时间大把的Besides, pressure ups my game.再说了 有点压力我做得更好I perform my best when there's a gun to my head.在被枪指着脑袋时 我的表现最好Ask any of my ex-boyfriends.问问我的前男友们就知道了This is so not how I prepare for tests.我绝对不会这样准备测试的I studied three weeks for a pap smear.我做子宫颈抹片测试之前研究了三周Don't worry, I got this.别担心 我能行的A tart's just like a cookie with some pudding on it, right?水果馅饼就像是曲奇饼上面加点布丁 对吧Max, what is going on in here?Max 这是怎么回事啊Turns out a tart's more than a cookie with some pudding on it!原来水果馅饼不仅仅是曲奇饼上面加点布丁!You've been in here six hours. You said you had this.你在这里忙活了六小时 你说自己能行的I thought I had this! Turns out I don't!我也以为自己能行! 结果是我不行!I haven't even finished a shell.我甚至连馅饼皮都没做好I didn't know there was a shell. Did you know there was a shell?我都不知道这货有个馅饼皮的 你知道吗?Everybody knows there's a shell!人人都知道有馅饼皮的!What the shell is wrong with you?你这馅饼皮是怎么回事啊?I'm a tart who can't make a tart!我是个做不好水果馅饼的贱货!You could've made nine shells by now.这会儿你本该做好九个馅饼皮了I did. They're all in here. Look.我做了 全在这里呢 你看It's like shell-mageddon!这就像是馅饼皮的世界末日Oh, screw it. This one's gonna be there in a minute.去他的 这个一会儿也会被倒掉的Let's just get it over with.咱先下手为强吧No, you can do this. Here. Here.不 你可以的 过来This still looks ready to go.这块面团貌似可以搓了Look at me. Look at me. I'm a waste of two arms.瞧瞧我 我是有两只手臂的废物I can't make a tart!我不会做水果馅饼!How's the tart coming?水果馅饼做得怎么样了?Han, you're not safe. Leave.Han 这里不安全 赶紧离开You haven't even finished the shell?你连馅饼皮都没做好?That's the easiest part!这可是最简单的啊!Han, this is your face.Han 这是你的脸蛋Well, I should get going.好吧 我赶紧撤吧I didn't know she could take bitch to the next level.没想到她还可以变得更加狠毒I am so screwed!我完了!I finally found a situation my boobs can't get me out of!我终于碰到一个不能靠大胸混过关的情况了!Hey, Max. Now, I have all the faith in the world in you.嘿 Max 我对你是信心满满的But here's a tart from stop 'n shop不过 这是我从店里买来的水果馅饼in case you wanted to hand this one in.你可以用这个蒙混过关的No, Earl. Max is not a cheater.不行 Earl Max不会作弊的Since when?啥时不作弊了?She is going to make her own tart.她要亲手做出一个水果馅饼You, out.你 出去I am never gonna make this shell.我绝对做不了馅饼皮的I can't even get it in the pan right.我甚至不能把面团好好地放进锅里Max, that looks right.Max 你似乎放好了Oh, my god!天啊I got it in the pan right! I can do this!我把面团好好地放进锅里了! 我可以了You did it! I knew it! I helped you. We're besties.你成功了 我就知道 是我帮你的 咱可是闺蜜You're not safe. Leave.这里不安全 赶紧滚开I'm telling you, Max, I've tasted a lot of tarts,我跟你说 Max 我尝过很多水果馅饼and yours is delicious.而你的相当好吃啊You are not the first man to tell me that.你不是头一个说我好吃的男人The first man to tell me that is in jail.头一个说这话的男人进监狱去了Here he comes.他来了Look at him. Here he comes.你瞧瞧他 他来了Afternoon, ladies.女士们 下午好Bien fondue, Eiffel tower.奶酪火锅好 艾菲尔铁塔好Okay.好的Thank you for coming. Shall we begin the tasting?感谢你的到来 我们可以开始品尝了吗?This is exciting, huh?着实让人兴奋 对吧?Uh.呃.Keep it in your pants.不要脱裤子And now for the tart.来尝尝这水果馅饼It's Max's first ever.这是Max头一回做I ate a slice earlier and it was like我刚才吃了一小块having a little piece of heaven.好吃得像是进了天堂Don't do anything you're doing.别这样心旌荡漾It's flaky, creamy.很薄 奶油化得很好.For a first attempt, I am very impressed.作为你的首次尝试 这真让我惊喜Don't be. I made a tart.别这样 我就是做了个水果馅饼It's not like I cured herpes又不是说我把性病治好了Or invented a reverse microwave to instantly chill sodas.或者是发明了可以速冻汽水的机器Okay, Max.好了 MaxI will talk it over with my faculty我会和我的教员讨论一下and we will let you know.请等待我们的通知I'll let you know.我也会通知你的Nailed that.搞定了Max!喂 MaxStop stealing my things! You got a cleaning lady!别再偷我的东西 你们已经有清洁女工了Relax. I am returning what I took.不要紧张 我是在归还自己拿的东西Here's your plates.这是你的碟子Oh, and here's your atm card. I lifted it from your wallet.哦 还有你的银行卡 我从你的钱包里拿的Oh, and here's your wallet.还有你的钱包There was $40 in here.这里面原本有四十块钱的There sure was.确实是有At least give me back my gift card from sephora.至少把丝芙兰的礼品卡还回给我啊Caroline, Han wants his sephora gift card back.Caroline Han叫你把丝芙兰的礼品卡还给他Oh, that's n