GRE写作如何恰当运用长难句.doc

GRE写作如何恰当运用长难句 很多GRE中国考生非常喜欢写长难句，在他们眼里，把一句简单的话说复杂了这才叫有水平，其实这是错误的想法，下面就和大家分享GRE写作如何恰当运用长难句，来欣赏一下吧。GRE写作如何恰当运用长难句GRE写作请勿滥用长难句举例：Recent years， this problem has appeared in the cities of China， the tendency of which is more and more serious.上面的这句话在中国考生看来，是既亲切又熟悉吧。但是这种啰嗦的运用从句是非常不可取的，这句话完全可以用一个句子说明白：This is a recent and growing problem in cities in China.考生要注意，在GRE写作考试中，考试目的是为了考察考生是否具有和他人进行学术交流的语言能力。如果你不能这样和别人交流沟通，那么，即便是你的句子写的再长，也不会拿高分。GRE写作如何做到高效表达?究竟要如何做到convey meaning effectively呢?其实很简单，就是用最简洁的语言把意思表达清楚。但是，这绝对不是完全不用长难句的意思，究竟什么时候该使用长句呢?当我们用简单的话不能把意思表达清楚，反复地使用短句反而是啰嗦的，这样不以利于交流。此时，我们就要使用从句，来把分成几个句子表达的意思用一个句子说清楚，从而达到简洁的要求。所以，考生不要认为写长越难的句子会为作文加分，因为这不是重点，如果想要提高自己的GRE作文成绩，要清楚的表达自己的作文主旨，这样才能让评卷人看懂也不觉得厌烦。GRE写作满分范文Hospital?statistics?regarding?people?who?go?to?the?emergency?room?after?roller-skating?accidents?indicate?the?need?for?more?protective?equipment.?Within?this?group?of?people,?75?percent?of?those?who?had?accidents?in?streets?or?parking?lots?were?not?wearing?any?protective?clothing?(helmets,?knee?pads,?etc.)?or?any?light-reflecting?material?(clip-on?lights,?glow-in-the-dark?wrist?pads,?etc.).?Clearly,?these?statistics?indicate?that?by?investing?in?high-quality?protective?gear?and?reflective?equipment,?roller?skaters?will?greatly?reduce?their?risk?of?being?severely?injured?in?an?accident.?Although?the?argument?stated?above?discusses?the?importance?of?safety?equipment?as?significant?part?of?avoiding?injury,?the?statistics?quoted?are?vague?and?inconclusive.?Simply?because?75?percent?of?the?people?involved?in?roller-skating?accidents?are?not?wearing?the?stated?equipment?does?not?automatically?implicate?the?lack?of?equipment?as?the?cause?of?injury.?The?term?"accidents"?may?imply?a?great?variety?of?injuries.?The?types?of?injuries?one?could?incur?by?not?wearing?the?types?of?equipment?stated?above?are?minor?head?injuries;?skin?abrasions?or?possibly?bone?fracture?of?a?select?few?areas?such?as?knees,?elbows,?hands,?etc.?(which?are?in?fact?most?vulnerable?to?this?sport);?and/or?injuries?due?to?practising?the?sport?during?low?light?times?of?the?day.?During?any?physically?demanding?activity?or?sport?people?are?subjected?to?a?wide?variety?of?injuries?which?cannot?be?avoided?with?protective?clothing?or light-reflective?materials.?These?injuries?include?inner?trauma?(e.g.,?heart-attack);?exhaustion;?strained?muscles,?ligaments,?or?tendons;?etc.?Perhaps?the?numbers?and?percentages?of?people?injured?during?roller-skating,?even?without?protective?equipment,?would?decrease?greatly?if?people?participating?in?the?sport?had?proper?training,?good?physical?health,?warm-up?properly?before?beginning?(stretching),?as?well?as?take?other?measures?to?prevent?possible?injury,?such?as?common-sense,?by?refraining?from?performing?the?activity?after?proper?lighting?has?ceased?and?knowing?your?personal?limitations?as?an?individual?and?athlete.?The?statistics?used?in?the?above?reasoning?are?lacking?in?proper?direction?considering?their?assertions?and?therefore?must?be?further?examined?and?modified?so?that?proper?conclusions?can?be?reached.?Commentary?This?adequate?response?targets?the?arguments?vague?and?inconclusive?"statistics."?The?essay?identifies?and?critiques?the?illogical?reasoning?that?results?from?the?misguided?use?of?the?arguments?statistics:?-?that?non-use?of?equipment?may?be?"automatically"?assumed?to?be?the?cause?of?injury?-?that?"accidents"?may?refer?to?minor?injuries?-?that?injuries?may?result?from?other?causes?-?skating?in?the?dark,?failure?to?train?or?warm-up?properly,?failure?to?recognize?ones?physical?limitations?The?writer?competently?grasps?the?weaknesses?of?the?argument.?The?ideas?are?clear?and?connected,?but?the?response?lacks?transitional?phrases.?Development,?too,?is?only?adequate.?Control?of?language?is?better?than?adequate.?The?writer?achieves?both?control?and?clarity?and?ably?conforms?to?the?conventions?of?written?English.?Overall,?though,?this?4?response?lacks?the?more?thorough?development?that?would?warrant?a?score?of?5.GRE写作满分范文"The?best?ideas?arise?from?a?passionate?interest?in?commonplace?things."?The?thought?of?a?passion? ?In?reading?such?a?passage?as?the?one?given?to?me?as?an?assignment?I?cant?help?but?think?of?an?analogy?that?entered?my?mind.?It?is?my?enduring?interest?in?the?field?of?multimedia.?I?say?this?because?of?the?ideas?in?which?I?cultivate?as?an?artist?of?many?media?materials?such?as?paints,?film,?computer?animated?software,?etc.?Being?an?expressionist?I?take?in?my?surroundings?and?personal?experiences?from?commonplaces?and?things?and?tell?a?story?from?my?perspective?using?the?various?tools?whether?it?be?computer?aided?or?hand?drawn.?My?ideas?come?from?people?or?things?because?it?tells?a?story.?The?story?can?be?abstract,?little,?big,?or?even?strange.?To?record?stories?like?these?may?spark?ideas?that?may?come?to?me?in?a?domino?effect.?Its?beautiful?I?shared?this?with?you?to?conclude?that?sometimes?even?common?things?such?as?a?pencil?and?an?empty?page?can?spelllout?your?fate?and?unlimited?possibilities?when?you?have?a?passion?or?an?interest?that?drives?your?hunger?for?innovation.? ?COMMENTARY?This?essay?is?seriously?flawed?in?its?analysis?of?the?issue.?The?writer?attempts?to?address?the?topic?by?focusing?on?his?or?her?interest?in?"multimedia"?art.?Yet,?while?isolated?words?and?phrases?from?the?topic?appear?throughout?the?essay,?the?essay?never?clearly?states?a?position?on?the?issue.?For?example,?in?a?discussion?of?multimedia?art,?the?writer?makes?the?following?observation:?"Being?an?expressionist?I?take?in?my?surroundings?and?personal?experiences?from?commonplaces?and?things?and?tell?a?story?from?my?perspective?using?the?various?tools?whether?it?be?computer?aided?or?hand?drawn."?The?essay?circles?around?the?issue,?without?ever?really?engaging?it.?The?essay?is?also?marked?by?serious?flaws?in?language?use:?inaccurate?word?choice?("and?tell?a?story?from?my?perspective?using?the?various?tools?whether?it?be?computer?aided?or?hand?drawn."),?unclear?pronoun?reference?("My?ideas?come?from?people?or?things?because?it?tells?a?story"),?and,?in?general,?a?debilitating?lack?of?clarity?and?precision.?These?errors?frequently?interfere?with?meaning,?a?characteristic?of?many?essays?scored?2.?GRE写作