雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析.doc

雅思7分大作文范文批改和解析 距离雅思写作7分你大概还有3个步骤要走，是的，不是谁都可以轻轻松松活动雅思高分的。今天给大家带来了雅思7分大作范文批改和解析,希望能够帮助到大家，一起来学习吧。雅思7分大作范文批改和解析雅思写作提高第一步：结构(5.0 - 5.5)问题：出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)同学：One reason for those who decide to go overseas to get a higher degree is that they believe they can get better education in certain fields. That is to say, different universities in different countries have their specialized courses and rich resources can be provided according to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in an all-round English environment and being affected by local culture make people quick learners.解析：出国留学和高学历完全是两回事(出去读初中和高中都算出国);出国就是better education，在国内就不是better? 出国留学可不仅仅是上大学，而该同学认为出国留学就是去上大学的(因为她可能就是去上大学的，所以觉得所有人也都如此)，偏激。此外，第四句论述变成了英语环境了(因为大家都去英语国家，所以主观认为，所有出国的人就是去学英语的)，再次带来了内容偏激。大家找问题的时候是不是去找语法或者词汇使用上面的错误了?对，很多时候大家认为自己写的没什么问题(毕竟词汇和语法没少使用)，分数低会归类到“压分”。那么在感受一下5.5分的原因真是词汇或者语法问题吗?考官看不懂，就是看不懂;唯一看懂的就是结构还算完整，所以5.0 - 5.5分。雅思写作提高第二步：逻辑(6.0 - 6.5)逻辑部分的主要得分点有两个：一个是观点的准确性;一个是论证方法的灵活使用。我们根据刚才的5.0 - 5.5分的*，进一步感受一下有了逻辑的内容有什么区别。问题：出国留学的优点(the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)Tim老师改：One reason for those who decide to go overseas for study is that they believe they can have access to different educational resources. That is to say, different countries have different educational system, and they can provide people with their specialized courses and rich resources to their needs and requirements. Another reason is that they can learn a foreign language in a more efficient way. There is no denying that living in a foreign environment and being affected by local culture make people learn a language more quickly.解析：Tim老师通过修改了上面同学的问题，把内容变得更准确、有说服力。所以，5.5 - 6.0分的一个最佳提分方式就是学会总结归纳自己要说的内容;否则，只是通过词汇或者语法是很难提高分数的(大家可以感受一下自己当下的学习方式就知道了)。雅思写作第三步：语言(7+)小站雅思君进一步给大家感受一下7.0分的标准又和上面的内容有什么区别。问题：出国留学的优点 (the advantages of disadvantages of study abroad)On one hand, people can have access to different educational resources when they pursue their study in another country. It is self-evident that everyone would choose a place that offers a more competitive and better education in certain field as the destination for their overseas studies. This explains the reason why bunches of young people flood into some countries for further their study, such as America or Germany. Under this circumstance, students will receive many materials that are more up-to-date and teachers can provide them with the latest development in their fields that differs from others.解析：一段只围绕一个观点做展开论述。通过强调论证、解释论证、递进句等不同论证方法来解释观点：出国留学可以让人们获取不同的教育资源。并且语言使用准确且多样，层层递进。所以，从段落的逻辑性、紧密型以及语言使用的多样性还有准确性上面都符合7分标准。雅思写作Task2教育类考官范文Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors.I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.Model Answer:One of the greatest advantages is that the children learn to be independent. Having to cook, clean, and pay bills instills this in them. Often they have to work part-time to make ends meet, and this impresses upon them the importance of work and money management.Another important factor is that these children will be exposed to different cultures and ways of thinking. They will become more open-minded and tolerant and are likely to become more adaptable individuals.One of the main motives for sending young people abroad to study is that it enhances their employment prospects. In my experience of living in foreign countries and speaking to various youths, it seems that a foreign education is regarded as something desirable and helpful in getting a decent job. A degree from Britain, for example, is seen as being of a higher standard than one from a developing country. Furthermore, living in a foreign country may lead to fluency in a second language, which is another selling point for prospective employers. In addition, many companies are keen to recruit people with a global outlook.There are a few drawbacks however. For instance, without parental supervision, the new found freedom children experience may lead to harmful practices such as drug-taking and drinking. Reluctance or inability to reintegrate into their mother country is another. To sum up, it can be seen that the advantages of studying abroad for children are more numerous than the disadvantages. Of course a lot depends on the age of the child, but I believe that for most teenagers it would be a positive experience.雅思写作Task2教育类考官范文In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.Model Answer:It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. This trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or traveling to other places have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job, or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall, I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.雅思