生活大爆炸 第九季 第1集 The Big Bang Theory英中字幕.doc

Previously on The Big Bang Theory.生活大爆炸前情回顾Well, there was this girl.有这么一个姑娘What did you do?你干什么了Nothing.什么也没干Really, it was just kissing.真的 就接吻了而已All right.好吧So, we're still getting married?我们还是会结婚的吧Yes.对Because we love each other.因为我们彼此相爱Yes.对And it's the happiest day of our life.这是我们这辈子最开心的一天Don't push it.别得寸进尺I need some time to take a step back我需要些时间缓一缓 后退一步and reevaluate our situation.重新评估下我们的状况Bye, Sheldon.再见 谢尔顿Well, Gollum.咕噜魔戒角色.you're an expert on rings.你是戒指专家时至今日What do I do with this one?你说我该拿这枚戒指怎么办呢So, what package are you thinking?你觉得哪个婚礼套餐好Mm, this one comes with music and flowers.这套餐有音乐跟鲜花呢Oh, they even stream the whole thing live on the Internet.而且还能在网上直播我们的婚礼Why would we want that?我们直播了干嘛'Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there因为世上还有许多漂亮的金发妹who don't believe they can land a short, nearsighted scientist.不信自己能有幸找到一个四眼短腿科学家Let's give them hope.给她们点希望嘛Whatever. Put us on the Internet.随便 网上直播就直播吧I've always wanted a wedding with a comment section.我从小就"梦想"自己的婚礼有个留言区I-If you're not into this, we can do it another time.如果你不想 我们可以以后再来No. No, I want to.不 不 我想结婚Look, we've put this off long enough.这事我们已经拖得太久了Let's do it.现在就做吧That's exactly what you said the first time we slept together.我们第一次"睡"时 你也说现在就"做"吧Oh, excuse me.抱歉Sheldon.谢尔顿Leonard, have you gotten married yet?莱纳德 你结完婚了吗No. Why?还没 怎么了- Good. Don't do it! - Why not?-那就好 别结 -为什么不行Some important new information has come to light.我刚发现了重要的新资讯Women are the worst.女人最坏了I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong.我本以为就像被纸割到手 但我错了No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.从没有一张纸比女人割我还深What happened now?又怎么啦Amy has ended our relationship.艾米跟我分手了Oh, no. Seriously?不是吧 真的吗What's going on?发生什么事了Amy broke up with Sheldon.艾米甩了谢尔顿She did?真的吗Is Penny crying?佩妮泪崩了吗No.没有No, of course not.她当然不会哭啦They thrive on our suffering.女人巴不得看我们受折磨Buddy, I-I'm so sorry.兄弟 我很遗憾Is there anything I can do?我能为你做点什么吗Yes. If I ever talk about going out with a girl again,能 以后我再说我要跟女生交往roll your eyes at me你就对我翻白眼like I do to you when you say dumb things.就像我听到你说蠢话时的那样Sheldon, uh, o-okay,行 谢尔顿just because you're going through this with Amy虽然艾米让你难过了doesn't mean that all women are bad.但并不代表所有女人都很坏Whatever.呵呵Hey, I just heard about you and Sheldon. Are you okay?我刚听说你跟谢尔顿的事 你还好吗Not really.不太好Can you come over?你能来陪我吗Uh, actually I'm in Vegas.我现在在赌城Leonard and I are about to get married.我跟莱纳德准备要结婚了Hold on.等等You're getting married and you didn't invite me?你们结婚居然没邀请我Well, it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing.我们只是一时心血来潮Hope I can catch the bouquet from here.希望我能从这里接到你的捧花啊Amy, don't be like that.艾米 别这样嘛Why did I just hear Amy's name?为什么我听到有人说艾米的名字Penny's on the phone with her.佩妮在跟她通电话Did she say anything about me?她有提到我吗Never mind. I don't care.算了 我才不在乎Well, if you care, you can find out and tell me.如果你在乎 你可以问清楚告诉我Just don't be shocked when you find out that I don't care.但你发现我压根不在乎时 别太惊讶哦Okay, will you relax?你别激动好吗You're not missing anything special.你才没错过什么大事Hey.怎么说话呢She's upset.她心情不好嘛Look, it's gonna be a great wedding.婚礼肯定会很赞Look at you in your little suit.瞧你一身小正装Amy's upset? Is it about me?艾米心情不好是因为我吗No, I think it's because we're eloping.不是 我想是因为我们私奔来结婚Your marriage is causing her pain?你的婚礼让她难受了吗Yeah, great, I take it back.太好了 我收回之前的话Go ahead and do it. Yay for love!快去结婚吧 爱情万岁Hello.你好 What are you doing here?你来这里干嘛When last we spoke, you said you needed time.我们最后一次通话时 你说你需要时间冷静Well, it's only been 11 hours.这才过了11个小时The Lord of the Rings trilogy was nearly 11 hours.指环王三部曲也差不多11小时I made you watch that, you said it was an eternity.我让你看完它们 你说这11小时如永恒Sheldon, when I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know.谢尔顿 等我想跟你谈会通知你的Very well.好吧You seem to be headed somewhere.你要出门呀May I walk with you?我能陪你走出去吗Sure.行Boy, I'm glad we're going out again.真庆幸我们又"一起出去"了We're not back together.我们不是复合Why?为什么Is there someone else?有新欢了吗Just couldn't wait for that first notch一逮到机会on your bedpost, could you?就等不及要"开荤"了是吧If you must know,如果你一定要问I'm going to Howard and Bernadette's我是要去霍华德与伯纳黛特家to watch the wedding.一起看婚礼直播And who's this guy you're taking?你要带哪个男人去There's no guy!没有要带男人Oh, you're going to a wedding alone?你要形单影只的去参加婚礼吗That's sad.好惨呐I'm not gonna be alone.我才不会形单影只I'll be with my friends.我的小伙伴们也会在Your friends?"你的"小伙伴们吗Well, I think you mean my friends.他们是我的小伙伴吧And why wasn't I invited to this?而且为什么没人邀请我啊Maybe because the two of us being there或许是因为我们两个同时在场would make them feel awkward.会让他们觉得很尴尬吧We make everyone feel awkward.我们让所有人感到尴尬That's our thing!这是我们的特色啊They're running a little behind.前面的人可能耽误了- Should be pretty soon. - Okay.-应该很快就到我们了 -好的Hey, if you're hungry, there's a breakfast buffet如果你饿了 隔壁那家脱衣舞厅at the strip club next door.有自助早餐Thanks, but I don't like glitter on my scrambled eggs.多谢 但我不喜欢煎蛋上有闪粉an8fn微软雅黑fs18b1bord1shad13c&H2F2F2F&脱衣舞娘身上都会撒满闪粉I don't think the strippers prepare the meal, but okay.早餐应该不是脱衣舞娘做的吧 但没关系Look, it-it's not how I pictured it either,虽然这跟我想象中的也不一样but I'm still glad we're doing it.但我很高兴我们要结婚了Me, too.我也是- You sure? - Yes.-你确定吗 -确定And you promise you're okay with everything from the car?你保证车里的谈话不会影响到你吗Oh, my God, would you stop bringing it up?老天 你能不能别一个劲地提这茬You're right. I'm sorry.你说得对 对不起We have the rest of our lives我们还有一辈子的时间to dredge stuff up from the past and fight about it.可以慢慢翻旧账 再大吵一架So what do you think?你觉得怎么样Should we run next door and grab a bite?我们要不要去隔壁吃一口What if they call our names?万一叫到我们怎么办Oh, don't worry. They gave me this vibrating coaster.别担心 他们给了我震动叫号器Oh, and the fairy tale continues.哇 真是犹如"童话"一般Thank you for doing this.感谢你们收留我Our pleasure.别客气You feeling okay?你感觉怎么样We were together for so long,我们在一起这么久I honestly don't know what I'm feeling.老实说 我都不知道现在是什么感觉Well, that's understandable.可以理解You forgot. It's called "happy."那是你忘了 这种感觉叫"快乐"Howard.霍华德I'm not saying anything bad.我又没说什么不好的话Just that she was in love with her captor她爱上了囚禁自己的变态and somehow managed to escape from his dark and crazy dungeon.结果福至心灵逃出了他阴暗又疯狂的地牢I know what you're going through.我知道你现在的感受My-my last breakup was pretty tough.我前一次分手也非常不好受Oh. What was her name?是吗 那女孩叫什么Hey, it's a true story.拜托 这可是真事I don't need the third degree.不需要这么逼问我吧For God's sake, Sheldon, what are you doing?我的老天 谢尔顿 你在干嘛I didn't want to come in.我不想进去I was told it would make everyone feel uncomfortable.有人说我会让大家觉得尴尬So I'll just stay out here所以我就在外面待着and pretend that I don't have to go to the bathroom.假装我不需要上洗手间Howard, do something.霍华德 想想办法I'm on it.交给我吧Sheldon, you being here might not be making things better.谢尔顿 你来这也不会让事情产生转机I see.我明白And is that why everybody was invited but me?所以你们邀请大家 唯独漏了我They didn't invite everybody but you.他们没有邀请大家不邀请你啊Bernadette invited me,伯纳黛特邀请我and Stuart lives here.斯尔图特本来就住这里Who wants hot cinnamon rolls?谁想吃刚出炉的肉桂卷啊So, when you hear the music, that's your cue.一听到音乐 你们就可以往前走了Any questions?有问题吗Oh, the package that we paid for我们买的那个套餐said the aisle was supposed to be strewn with rose petals.写着走道上会铺满玫瑰花瓣Where are the rose petals?!玫瑰花瓣呢We're out!没了You know what? It's fine.算了 没事We can use the potpourri from the bathroom!我们可以用厕所里的干花瓣Really, we're good.真的不需要了Yup, just want to get married.对 结婚才是重点- Yeah. - Great.-对 -那就好I'll see you two up there.我在圣坛上等你们- This is it. - I know.-这一刻终于来了 -我知道I love you.我爱你I love you, too.我也爱你Was that a yes or no on the potpourri?!干花瓣还要不要了- No, thank you! - We're good!-不要了 -谢谢Raj, you're probably wondering拉杰 你脑中肯定在想why Amy and I aren't showing any affection to one another.为什么我和艾米都面无表情Didn't even crack the top ten.都挤不进我脑海中的前十名Well, you should know that she recently broke up with me.你要应该知道她刚刚跟我分手了I said I needed time to think.我说我需要时间思考I'm sure you guys will figure something out.我相信你们俩会想出解决办法You hear that? Raj is devastated.听见了没 拉杰都悲痛欲绝了Sheldon, shh. The wedding's starting.谢尔顿 别吵 婚礼开始了I see what's happening.我知道怎么回事了Sides are forming.大伙儿开始分边站了Well, if Bernadette's on Amy's team, I pick Howard.如果伯纳黛特支持艾米 那我选霍华德好了I'm not taking sides.我不偏袒任何一方Fine, I guess I'm stuck with Raj.好吧 那我只能选拉杰了Really?你不是吧At least you got picked.至少你被选上了Before I go any further,在我继续仪式前have either of you prepared your own vows?我想问你们俩有准备誓词吗- Yes. - No.-有 -没有You wrote vows?你居然写了誓词Yeah.是的Well, I don't have any.我一个字都没写You're kind of making me look bad.你让我好没面子啊It's okay. I-I don't have to say them.没事 我也不一定非要念No, no, no, go ahead.不不不 念吧I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry,我会想出一些伤感的话弄哭你we got this.这很好办"Penny, we are made of particles"佩妮 粒子从宇宙诞生之初that have existed since the moment the universe began.就存在世上 是它们造就了我们I like to think those atoms traveled我常想那些原子14 billion years through time and space to create us,用140亿年穿越时间和空间来创造我们so that we could be together and make each other whole."好让我们能相遇 完整对方"Penny?佩妮Right. Um. okay.好 到我了Leonard, I mean, you're not only the love of my life.莱纳德 你不仅仅是我一生的挚爱I mean, you're my best friend, and.你是我最好的朋友.you've got a friend in me.我是你的好朋友You got troubles.你有麻烦I got 'em, too.我做你参谋There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.为了你我愿意赴汤蹈火We stick together, and we can see it through,我们团结一心 克服所有困难'cause. you've got a friend in me.因为 我是你的好朋友Is that the song from Toy Story?这不是玩具总动员的歌吗He loves that movie.他可喜欢那部电影了I do.真的- Aw, that was beautiful. - Yeah.-真是太美了 -是呀I mean, not like our wedding beautiful.虽然没有我们的婚礼美No, we totally won.当然 我们完胜Amy, I don't understand, are we broken up or not?艾米 我不明白 我们到底分手了没It's like you can't make up your mind.你好像一直作不了决定啊It's because you're not giving me any space to think.那是因为你完全不给我思考的空间Well, you should think fast,是吗 那你最好赶紧想because men can sire offspring their entire lives,因为男人一辈子都能传宗接代but those eggs you're toting around have a sell-by date.你的卵子可是会过期作废哦You know what, Sheldon, you've made this really easy.谢尔顿 你这临门一脚来得正是时候You're immature, you're selfish,你是个幼稚透顶 自私自利的人 you just insulted me to my face.你还当面羞辱我I don't need any more time to think. We're broken up.我不用再想了 咱俩玩完了Amy.艾米Will someone take me home?有谁能送我回家吗Yeah. Come on, I'll give you a ride.好吧 我送你回去.symbolizes your eternal love.象征你们永恒的爱I now pronounce you husband and wife.我现在宣布你们正式结为夫妻We did it!我们结婚啦I'm so glad you guys could watch!真开心你们能见证这一刻We'll say it was beautiful in the comment section.我们就在留言区留"太美太感人"好了No, no, no. Hang on.不 不 等一下I believe I'm supposed to carry you across the threshold.我想我应该抱你入洞房Can you?你行吗Who do you think carries Sheldon to bed你以为每次谢尔顿在电视前面睡着了when he falls asleep in front of the TV?都是哪位壮士抱他回房间的啊Okay, let's do it.好吧 来吧- You gonna make it? - I'm okay!-你能做到吗 -没问题Nicely done!顺利完成Thank you.谢谢你Finally, there's a Mrs. Hofstadter总算是有一位霍夫斯塔德夫人who isn't disappointed in me.没对我失望了Well, the night is still young.说这话还为时尚早呢Everything all right?你没事吧Yeah. I guess.没事Just tell me.告诉我嘛It's just, when we were kissing,我们接吻时I couldn't help but picture you with that other girl.我总是忍不住去想你和其他女孩的画面Oh, no.不会吧No, come on.别这样I have a friend in you.你可是我的好朋友You said so.你自己说的You're right. Just forget it.你说得对 忘掉这事吧Yeah.好的Okay, listen. Uh.好了 听我说If you're imagining that it was sexy,如果你以为那是很香艳的画面 it wasn't.其实并没有We-we were both drunk, and she smelled like an ashtray.我们都喝挂了 她一股子烟灰缸味The boat was moving a lot, so I chipped her tooth.船身摇晃不定 我还撞碎了她的牙齿Did you feel guilty?你觉得内疚吗No, she had dental insurance.不 她有牙医保险Did you feel guilty after kissing her?你和她接吻后觉得内疚吗Yes. I felt guilty as soon as it happened.当然 我刚亲完就后悔了I feel guilty every time I see her.每次看到她都有深深的负罪感What do you mean, every time you see her?你说每次看到她是什么意思What. do I mean?我.是什么意思呢Boy, that's a toughie.老天 这个问题可真难You still see her?你现在还会见她吗Well, no, not socially.不 不是约她见面的那种But, you know, just at work.只是工作时会遇到You work with her?!你还和她一起工作吗How could you not tell me that?!你怎么不告诉我这件事I wanted to tell you in the car, but you told me to stop talking!我在车里就想告诉你 可你要我闭嘴Oh, okay. So you're saying this is my fault?好呀 所以现在是我错了吗No, of course not.不 当然不是Okay, l-look,好了 我说instead of fighting,我们不要吵了why don't we dim the lights,不如把灯关掉um, get naked and make a baby?脱光光 造宝宝好不好I was trying to lighten the mood.我是在努力调节气氛It's not easy. You try it.这事可不容易 不信你试试Hello, Mother.妈妈 你好Shelly! How's my baby doing?谢利 宝贝你还好吗I just wanted to let you know我想让你知道that you can remove Amy from your nightly prayers.你可以把艾米从你的夜祷名单上去掉了Unless you're open to praying for除非你愿意祈祷a beehive to fall on her head.一个大蜂巢掉在她头上Oh, what's going on?这是怎么了She broke up with me.她和我分手了Oh, Shelly.谢利No, I'll be okay.不 我没事But I think that I'd like但我想把to send the ring back to you.戒指寄还给你Well, let's not be hasty.先别这么着急Are you sure it's over for good?你确定真的结束了吗It's over for me. I'm done with women.反正我是结束了 我受够女人了Like when I swore off Pop Rocks.就像我再也不吃跳跳糖一样They both hurt you on purpose.他们都故意伤害我You want to tell me what happened?想跟妈妈倾诉一下吗Are you going to say it's all part of God's plan?你会说一切都是上帝安排好的吗Good chance.很有可能Then no, thank you.谢谢 那还是算了Well, honey, don't send it back yet.宝贝 先别把戒指寄回来Your sister's married, and I'm not letting your brother你姐姐结婚了 我不要把我祖母的戒指give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating.送给你哥哥的那个小荡妇Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute?抹大拉的玛利亚不也是个妓女吗When your idiot brother redeems mankind,如果你那白痴哥哥可以拯救人间苍生he can date whoever he wants.那他想和谁约会都没问题I know it hurts now, but it's gonna get better.我知道你现在很难过 但会过去的Yeah.是的Everything's gonna be okay.一切都会好起来You've got so much to offer.你集无数优点于一身Thank you.谢谢你Any man would be lucky to have you.能和你在一起是每个男人的荣幸That's true.没错I just hope I did the right thing.我只希望我做了正确的选择I'm sure you did.我肯定你做得对Maybe that's the problem- you always do the right thing.或许这就是你的问题 永远做正确的选择Maybe it's time to do the wrong thing.或许是时候"犯个错误"了Like you're doing right now?比如做你现在这样的错事吗Exactly.没错I asked you over and over if you were okay.我一次又一次问你介不介意Why would you go through with the wedding if you weren't?如果你介意 为什么还要完婚呢I thought I was okay, but it tur